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James POV
“I did it. I actually went through with it. I didn’t think I would be able to, especially when I saw tears rolling from her eyes but I held it together. Now Rose hates me and will be able to move on quicker. She deserves a man who can be dedicated to her and not have to worry about him cheating with his ex or being a good step mom. She deserves the world and I wish I could give it to her.
I know me offering her money was a step too far but I need to give the final blow so she would think I don’t love her. I mean, if you love someone then you wouldn’t treat them as if they were a gold digger. I was happy that she didn’t take the money even if she didn’t need it since she was a future billionaire because it made me sure that she loved me and not my money.
I did what was best. Even if we eventually went public and I separated from Isabelle, the press would assume that she was the reason why I ended the engagement. There would be scandalous stories about how she seduced me; it would have gotten out of hand. She shouldn’t have to deal with the press; I did her a favour.
God, I love her so much. I don’t know how I’m going to live without touching her, kissing, making love to her. She’s like the air I breath, I can’t live without her. She’ll probably quit and start working at her company. I wouldn’t want to be around me if I were in her position. In know I’m being stupid but relationships have never been my strong point.
I you love someone you have to let them go.
I love you Rose.
Rose’s POV
Liz’s car pulled to a stop and we got out. The journey had been a quite one with only the radio between us. I knew Liz was curious to get answers but she held them back which I appreciated. I really don’t feel like talking. I had just had my heart broken by the one man I had ever really been in love with and I didn’t feel like sharing with the world how stupid I had been.
I hadn’t spoken to Liz in a while. Not because we weren’t close but she was always busy with work and Chris not that I blame her. It’s ironic how I could pair people to make amazing couples but I couldn’t find a good man myself.
As I opened the door to my apartment, I was surprised to see Chris standing anxiously. As soon as he hears the door close, he looks up at me. In quick strides he pulls me into a bone crushing hug. There’s silence for a few seconds before he pulls away.
“Rose what happened? You rarely cry.” I shake my head and walk to the sofa before crashing down. My legs no longer had the strength to support my weight.
“I don’t know how to tell you. What I did was bad and I deserve what I get.”
“Rose, we don’t know what you’re talking about.” Chris sits on the chair opposite whilst Liz comes and sits beside me, placing her arms around me.
“I don’t know how to tell you,” I say again.
“Why don’t you start at the beginning,” Liz says gently.
Slowly and hesitantly, I tell them about me and James. I tell them about: how we got together; how I thought we loved each other; the promises he made to me and how he broke my heart. Whilst I told them they listened. They never tried to rush me or even showed on the faces that they judged me, although most of the time, I was staring at the floor, remembering the past.
When I finish, I wipe tears from my eyes and look up at their faces and see pity written all over it. They shouldn’t pity me. I don’t deserve it. I’ve slept with another women’s fiancé e even though I knew it wasn’t right. I ignored the part of me that told me that what I was doing was wrong and just did as I pleased, not caring what was right or wrong.
How could I ever have thought that what James and I had was right? It felt right and it made me happy but that’s no excuse. I had stolen the happiness that didn’t belong to me but to Isabelle. Just because she wasn’t a nice person to me, I convinced myself that this was karma and that she had it coming to her but I was wrong; very wrong. No women deserved this. I’m so stupid.
Liz gave me a squeeze giving me a small smile rather then the look of disgust.
“I’m not going to lie to you Rose; you messed up,” she said being the upfront person that she was. I nodded knowing that she was being nicer then I deserved. “But-you’re not the only one in the wrong. If anyone is to blame its James; you’re not only to blame. He took advantage of the lovely person you are and you don’t deserve the things he said to you.” I shook my head in disagreement. This was karma but not for Isabelle; for me.
“Rose,” Chris began; his voice was hoarse. “I’ve know you for 12 years and I never, for one second, thought you were capable of doing something like this.” I feel tears rise to the bridge of my eyes as he speaks. Of all people, Chris had been there for me whenever I needed him and we didn’t have secrets between us. Out of everyone I know, what he thinks is what matters to me because he had been my strength for so long now that I didn’t want to let him doubt. I took a quick intake of breath as he continues to speak. “The lies, the secrets, the pain; this isn’t you. I know I haven’t been around lately but you knew you could come to me?” he asks hurt clear in his voice.
“I didn’t want to come to terms with I was doing. I knew that if I came to you, you’d make me see things clearly- for what they were- and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to face reality. I’m sorry Chris; I’m sorry that I let you down.” He shakes his head opening his arms. I jump into them taking comfort from his familiar scent.
“You haven’t let me down okay? I’m just shocked and hurt that you didn’t tell me after all we’ve been thro-”
“I wanted to tell you; it was killing me not.”
“I know but what really hurts me is that you’re hurt. When I met James, I thought he was a good guy. We even had a poker night with some of the guys did he tell you that?” I nod, remembering James mentioning it. “To think that he would do this to you- say all those rude things- it doesn’t seem like him.”
“You’re right it doesn’t seem like him,” Liz says with a pondering expression.
“What do you mean?” I ask puzzled.
“I didn’t want to say because I didn’t want to get your hopes up but I don’t think James meant what he said to you.” I shake my head disbelieving. “Wait, hear me out. I’ve known James for 3 years now and I’ve noticed that he’s never been good with relationships although he’s engaged. From what you’ve told me, I think he just said those thing to make you would hate him so it would be easier to move on.”
I consider what she says. Is she right? Does he really love me and just wants to protect me by hurting me? It sounds stupid but at least it means that he loves me. I haven’t noticed that he’s not good with relationships. It has always been so easy between us. I can’t allow myself to think that he still loves me when I know he doesn’t. I need to move on and I won’t be able to until I let go.
All of a sudden I feel physically drained and just want to be alone.
“Thank you both. You’ve been kinder then I deserve. I know it only lunch time but I think I want to sleep.” I look at their worried faces. “Don’t worry; I just need to be alone.” I make my way to my room, slowly taking off my shoes and coat. I get into bed without changing my clothes and bring the duvet to my neck.
I begin to cry and cry. Silent tears of pain and agony. I let the tears flow with no wish to try and stop them. Eventually, I cry myself to sleep where I dream of James for hopefully the last time.
* * *
I wake up to the sounds of voices coming from my window. A blinding light flashes the room for a second before it disappears. What on earth is going on? Reluctantly, I slowly make my way to the window. Rubbing my eyes that must be red from the hours of crying, I push aside the curtains. I gasp at the sight I see and quickly jerk back. My hand covers my mouth as I stare at the window in astonishment.
“Don’t open the curtain,” Liz cries as she rushes into my bedroom, Chris behind her. I don’t turn my head still staring at the window.
“You’ve seen it hasn’t you?” Chris asks. I nod turning my head to face them. “I’m so sorry Rose.” He comes forward with his arms open, pulling me into a hug. He rocks me gently back and forth as I cry silent tears. My life is over.
The paparazzi are outside my apartment.