I'd left Marshall's place feeling like crap. What had happened between us, I'd definitely never regret, but the aftermath was now what brought tears to my eyes. This was exactly what I'd feared would happen, that he would only use me, that I would be nothing more than a one-night stand.
I should've trusted my guts.....
I knew the second he'd slipped out of bed that something was wrong and when I'd walked into the kitchen and he couldn't even look at me, before finding a lame excuse to get me out, my feeling had been more than confirmed. He had managed to lead me into a trap, had succeeded in playing with my head and the worst, got me to have sex with him.
How could I be so stupid?
I really had believed him when he had apologized for the bet, had put trust in his words, only to now have the almost overwhelming feeling to bash my head in with a baseball bat. Most likely he was right at this moment sitting with his friends and told them about our night, laughing about my stupidity and demanded his prize for winning the bet.
By the time I'd arrived at my house I was crying like a waterfall and the first thing I did after I'd gotten out of my car, inside my home and had let the door carelessly fall into its lock, was sprinting upstairs to take another shower. I had the feeling that I had to scrub him off of me and definitely I needed new clothes. I couldn't stand myself right now.
45 minutes later, I felt a little better, cleaner if you want to call it that way. Had washed and dried my hair, brushed my teeth and wrapped myself in my old Georgetown sweater and matching pants. I still couldn't understand how I could've been so damn dumb and so I did what I'd always do. I grabbed my laptop, walked into my living room and after switching it on I started to work. I had to bury myself in numbers to stop feeling ashamed and used.
It was 2 pm and I'd just went into my kitchen to get a pizza out of the freezer so I could eat something, when my cellphone started ringing. For a second I was tempted to rush back into the living room and pick up, but I decided to let my voicemail answer. Not many people had my number and definitely no one would call me on a Sunday afternoon, so I could put the pizza in the oven and then would look who'd tried to reach me.
1 voicemail Denaun
Huh?
I looked bewildered at the phone screen and right that second it started ringing again.
Denaun
Can't they just leave me alone?
I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut for a second, before I pressed the answer button. Honestly, I didn't want to talk to anyone of them anymore, but I wasn't someone to just let the voicemail answer.
„Denaun?"
„Ey, Daniela? How ya doin'?" He didn't sound careful, more the exact opposite, almost cheerful.
Of course, they all had a good laugh!
„I'm really not in the mood for small talk right now, Denaun." I sighed and plopped down on the couch.
„I get that, fo' real, but can ya hear me out fo' a minute?"
„No."
Wow.....grew a backbone!!!
„C'mon Daniela, I promise it won't take long. I just wanna explain what's goin' on with him, ya know?!" I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut.
Somehow I would've wanted to have an explanation, but to be honest, most definitely it all would be a lie. Marshall probably had his friend call me to smoother me, so he could keep me on stand by when he needed some stupid girl to have sex with, but no more playing me. It was time to lock up weak Daniela and change to my business personality.
„Denaun, there is nothing to explain. What's done is done and I would ask you to tell him to not contact me anymore in any way, not even over you. Take care, Denaun and goodbye!"
„Daniela...." Was the last I'd heard before I hung up.
I couldn't take this, simply because I knew that if I would've listened to him, I would've caved in.
Not anymore! Enough is enough!
2 weeks later....
The past 14 had been partially frustrating and stressful. After 1 week of trying to bundle new energy and getting over the fact that Marshall had used me, I'd went back to work last Monday. Needless to say that a huge chaos awaited me at my office at the city hall and on top mayor Mike Duggan was whining incessantly. I'd worked unremittingly to get through new set meetings, therefore had hardly slept and/or eaten. I was exhausted and almost back at the point where I'd taken a week off from work, but I knew this time I had to push through. I wanted to get out of this city as fast as possible, staying here any longer than necessary was only reminding me about my stupidity.
I was aware by now, that it hadn't been all Marshall's fault, that we'd had sex. In the end I'd been the one that had started it, but still I felt used, almost embarrassed and definitely ashamed. I couldn't get over the fact how he had treated me the following morning and this was what made me feel the way I did.
Today was Saturday and while I'd went over my daily training in the morning, afterwards I'd went grocery shopping and then started to work. Monday would be an easy day, only office work, but Tuesday I'd have a meeting with the managers of Sunoco LP, a distributor of motor fuels, which I wanted to convince to expand his gas station net in Detroit. This first get together, could be another step in the right direction and so I had to be prepared.
As always when I was working at home I was sitting at the ground in my living room, laptop in front and the papers with calculations and informations sprawled out around me while the printer was spitting out copy's faster than Marshall his rhymes.
Marshall....
I hadn't heard from him anymore nor from Denaun and I'd lie if I'd say that it wouldn't faze me at all. I missed talking to him, spending time with him, but nothing good would come out of it anyway. So I pushed the thoughts aside every time they tried to sneak into my mind.
At 4 pm my doorbell ripped me out of typing vigorously on my laptop, almost hammering out the keyboard and my head snapped up. No one, besides Marshall and the team of my company had my address and while nobody had notified me that they'd sent something over, an uneasy feeling built in my stomach.
Don't let it be him!
For a moment I thought about just waiting until whoever stood in front of my door would disappear again, but when it rang for a second time, I knew that wasn't an option. So I stood laboriously to my feet, straightened my shirt and sweatpants and pulled my hair up in a quick bun while strolling to the door where I stopped. Through the frosted glass inlets of the front door I could make out a tall black man and I took a deep breath, turned the lock and grabbed the handle before forcing the door open.
„Yo, Daniela!" Denaun was standing in front of me, being all smiles like always and I pulled my glasses off and furrowed my eyebrows.
„What are you doing here?"
I knew I was impolite and hostile, but I didn't really care at this moment. I'd asked nicely to not contact me anymore and still he stood on my doorstep now.
„I thought I'd come by an see how you're doin'. Catchin' up a lil, ya know?"
Is he serious??
„Did Marshall give you my address?" I completely dismissed his explanation and he nodded. „I really don't...."
I was interrupted by my home phone ringing and turned my head quickly to the living room before looking back at my unbidden guest.
„I gotta take this call. Come in and please close the door."
With that I rushed off to answer the phone while I saw Denaun strolling into the room behind me, but stopping in his movement when he'd seen the papers on the floor. I covered the speaker of the phone with my hand, so my secretary at the office in DC couldn't hear me and looked at my visitor.
„Just step around and take a seat. You want something to drink?"
„Got Diet Coke?" I nodded once and while I pressed the phone to my ear again, I walked towards the kitchen.
„Okay, Melissa. Please mail me the information as soon as possible and I'll call in on Monday to see if I have a solution. Have a good weekend." I ended the call while I placed a glass and Coke bottle on the dark wooden coffee table in front of Denaun, walked to the armchair across from the couch he was sitting on and sat down.
„Work?" He asked and I nodded. „Daniela..."
„Why are you here, Denaun?" I cut him off to not have to do stupid small talk and beat around the bush.
„I really just wan'ed to see how ya doin'."
„I have a lot of work and no time on my hands." He exhaled audibly before he leaned forward, grabbed the bottle to screw the cap annoyingly slow off and poured some of the content into the glass in order to sip on it like a camel on a fountain.
„Sorry to hear that." He stated while placing the glass back on the table and I kept myself from rolling my eyes.
„Okay, I'll try one last time. Why are you here, Denaun?" I so had enough of this farce already.
„You haven't called him."
„Excuse me?" I scoffed while furrowing my eyebrows. „There's no need for any kind of contact."
„I think there is!" He argued back and I shook my head. „Daniela it's not my place to tell ya, aight?! That's on him. But since he's pretty positive that you wouldn't talk to him anymore, I thought I'd come by an try."
„What's there to talk about?"
„He knows he made a mistake." I took a breath and had to push down the forgiving side of me which tried to sneak towards my heart.
„And what was the mistake? That he played me, used me or basically threw me out the next morning?!"
Denaun blew out air before he rubbed once over his face and I waited for his answer.
„All of it? Damn girl, I dunno. As I said it's his thing to tell ya, I'm only tryin' to convey."
„Well then please tell him I didn't want a mediation." I stated. „There's nothing that could be said or done to erase this quote-unquote mistake. I would like him to accept to leave me alone."
„Daniela, just give him a fuckin' chance, aight?! Em bein' sorry is pretty rare, well, if it comes to women, ya know?! He...."
„He what?" I pressured him to talk on when he had stopped.
„It's really not my place to tell..." Denaun was getting uncomfortable.
„Then there's no use in continuing this conversation." I made the attempt to stand up but Denaun stopped me by lifting his hand.
„A'right..." He sighed out. „Look, after you two, you know?!"
Of course he told them!!!!
„He kinda had second thoughts, ya know?!"
„Second thoughts?"
„Yeah......." he stopped again. „Man, I ain't comfortable wit tellin' ya, it's his shit."
„Denaun, as much as I understand, you're here to get me to talk to him again, am I right?" He nodded. „Then you should give me a real good reason to do so and to be honest, the only one which would make me even consider to call him, would be an explanation of his behavior."
„He thought you two wouldn't have a chance!" He blurted out and I looked surprised at him and sat up straight.
„He already thought about things like this?"
„You don't?" He asked with a smirk and I shrugged. „It's Em, girl. That guy's plannin' 20 steps ahead, 'specially when it's 'bout a woman."
„And what made him think we wouldn't have a chance?"
What have I done to give him this impression?
„This!" Denaun gestured to the papers on the floor and I was irritated which definitely showed on my face. „He thinks...thought, you'd put ya work above him, that you'd never leave anything behind fo' him."
Huh???
„I've never said that."
„Well, he's pretty good in jumpin' to conclusions, ya know?!" This made me shut my mouth and think.
I could've went on with interrogating, but I had no intentions of making Denaun more uncomfortable than he already was. If I wanted to have answers, I had to talk to Marshall, but knowing how weak I was if it was about him, I really had to overthink it.
„Just call him, Daniela or sent him a fuckin' text message. Simply let him know he can reach out to ya, aight?!" Denaun tried on to convince me and I nodded.
„One question more...." I stopped him in standing to his feet. „Why now? What made him change his mind?"
Denaun only shrugged.
„Maybe he's missin' ya?!"
I doubt it!
„I'll try to believe that." I stated while also standing up and Denaun chuckled.
„Thanks fo' hearin' me out...." I nodded while I walked beside him through my foyer to the front door. „An call him, aight?! I bet ma ass he's waitin'."
„Will do!" I assured with a small smile and opened the door. „And Denaun?" He stopped in the threshold and turned around to look at me. „I hope he knows what a great friend he has in you."
„I'm sure he does! Take care, Daniela." He pulled me in a quick hug which I returned gladly.
„You too, Denaun."