Siena P.O.V
Months had pass since Thea funeral a lot has changed in my life. I don’ feel like the same Siena anymore that the day when Thea died also a huge part of me died along with her. No matter who I spoke to whether it was my mom or my dad even Blair I felt that they didn’t truly understand me, they kept saying it wasn’t my fault. That it was some kind of accident but they didn’t understand why I was saying it was my fault she died. Thea was hurt by the words I spoke to her my venomous words which I didn’t mean each and every one of them. But I flared out in rage as she spoke of my Nic and how my relationship was a sham. I felt to blame because if I didn’t hurt her like I did then she wouldn’t have been out on the garden terrace and she would be alive. That is where I held my blame towards her death and there not anyone who can stop me from feeling this guilt that I bare.
Nic thought I should bond and grieve with Blair but when I did it didn’t feel right. As time when on Blair kept judging and talking about my relationship with Nic that it wasn’t healthy as she thought I revolved my life around him. It wasn’t like that because right now I felt Nic was the only person who actually understood me. There was Lucas too who even though we had gone through hard time I felt like I still connected with him, but when I did go and see him at this family home I was told he left town to visit family. So I was just left with Nic and I depended on a lot my days after school were spent either with him at the club or at his home. Of course I lied to my parents as my dad didn’t really approve of the relationship as Nic was “old” which was kind of ironic as my dad like ten years older than my mom, he wasn’t one to talk but I didn’t back chat him about it either.
Nic and I over the months became a lot closer but if I’m being honest there was times where I felt like he was pushing me away. It would be one moment he would be kind and affectionate and the next he would be cold and withdrawn. I began to adapt to him ways as at first I took them to heart that I thought I would of have done something wrong. Nic moods went as quick as they went he would apologies instantly sometimes I felt like I was getting whiplash. But I loved him with his perfections and imperfections that what love is to accept the person with the good and bad.
Blair and I began to having ups and downs that one moment we would be best friends and talk go shopping and having fun. Then the next the subject of Nic would come up then it’s was a different ball game. Blair had asked to meet her for lunch which I was in two mind about meeting her as 70% of the time we end up having an argument and I wasn’t in the mood for that. But maybe this time around it might be different maybe I’ll have one of those days where I have my best friend back. But after Thea's funeral, I clung to Nic more as I felt that he was the one person that understood me. Blair was too judgemental and I felt that I couldn't really confide in her anymore so I pushed her away and started to depend on Nic more. So I was surprised when she called me and invited me to out to Balthazar, a French bistro on 44th street. Lunch was actually pleasant because we were getting along and she weren't bugging me about Nic. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a cute French waiter and smiled at her.
“He is a total babe isn't he and he has the cutest little butt. Do you think if I squeeze it; it will feel like Charmin?” I couldn’t help but giggled as the waiter looked over and smiled as I wasn’t very quiet about it either. I notice that Blair glances over at the waiter then back at me.
“Yeah his cute” she spoke flatly uninterested in the eye candy which really weren’t like Blair but I guess she totally loved up in Kai now “So what about you? What been happening in the world of Siena Russo since we last spoke? What has it been 3-4 weeks since we had an actual conversation” Blair began to eat her chicken and beacon crepe I notice a little bitterness in her voice.
“You know if you weren't dating Kai. I could totally see you hitting on that guy. Remember how guy crazy that you used to be?” I stated with a smile as I ate some of my Chicken Cordon Bleu.
“So for you to be eyeing up the waiter means all not good in the Nic and Siena romance. I thought two were the next epic couple” she smirked and continued to eat her lunch. I sighed for I was getting used to her bitchy comments about Nic. I had hoped for a pleasant day. But it didn't look like that was going to happen and I felt my temper starting to flare up.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I demanded, putting my fork on the table I have had well and truly enough of all this.
“What do you think i mean?” Blair as looking directly at me “I’m in a good stable relationship where i know where I’m at. Can you say the same Siena? Huh? I mean you’re not one to be eyeing up guy. But i guess that the old Siena I forgot that girl long gone” she looked away and began to eat again I’m tired of Blair constant digs about my relationship with Nic and that I have change. People change we grow up we move in different circle and Blair still wanted me to be that same Siena who agreed to everything she would say.
“Wow and you just reminded me why we haven't been spending so much time together lately.” I retorted sharply “And to think that I actually missed you Blair. But thanks so much for reminding why I haven't wanted to talk to you.” I stabbed my Chicken Cordon Bleu viciously as I cut a piece off and started to eat it again.
“Just the reaction I expected. You do know we are approaching 18 now you know adults? Siena you need to grow up and stop acting like a child when you don't like to hear things. Believe me this wasn't even my idea it was Kai. I've been perfectly fine without the bitchy Siena” I looked up I was hurt by what Blair had told me, I felt my jaw hang as I was stunned to hear this wasn’t even down to her and that she was forced to meet me “What? You've changed since....” she paused for a moment probably finding another malicious word to say “All you've done is push me away and get closer to this Nic guy. We both lost a friend Siena and all you did is push you’re so called "best friend" away. I needed you Siena and where the hell were you? Oh with that d*ck Nic!” Blair raised her voice slightly and notice people looking over at our table. She stopped eating and sat back “I really don't know why I’m bothering because with you lately it's just about "Siena Russo World" nothing else matters” Blair crossed her arms that was it I had had enough of her and I’m going to put her straight once and for all.
“How dare you?!” I shouted as I stood up, glaring at her “That was a low blow and you know it Blair Richy!” My eyes teared up and my voice shook as I spoke “Not a day goes by that I don't think about Thea as you know that is my fault that she is not here anymore.” Tears were running down my face “Do you know how many times that I wished that I could turn back the hands of time? How I had never said the horrible things that I said to her. If that never happened then maybe she would be here” I turned away from Blair because I didn't want her to see that I was crying.
“Where you the one who murdered her? Huh?” Blair yelled I looked at her while she stood up with a face filled with anger “You need to stop making everything about you Siena you are not the centre of everything” I felt even more hurt and offended by that everything was about me. Blair goes in her bag and get out her purse “This was a waste of time.” she threw two 100 dollar bills on the table. “The Siena I’ve been holding on to die along with Thea I get that now” Blair looked at me with disappointment in her eyes. My anger replaced sadness and I glared at her. This was a huge mistake. I really wished that I never came. I couldn't wait to see Nic so that I could have a go at him for even suggesting that I spend some time with Blair after arguing with my parents. Like Blair, they didn't approve of my relationship with Nic because he was older than me. My dad thought that I could do better and ordered me to break up with Nic. Well that conversation didn't end well and I stormed out of the apartment.
“You know what? You're right. This was a mistake.” I opened my purse and threw my half for our meal on the table “But it’s not one that I am going to make again.” I spoke coldly. Blair places her jacket on and looked directly at me.
“You know what! Once this thing you call a relationship is over. Believe me it hasn't got any sort future. Your gonna have no one. Have nice life Siena” Blair spoke coldly and walked out of the bistro I wasn’t going to let her have the last word so I followed her.
“I feel the same way because if you can't accept me as the way that I am. We don't need to be friends anymore. I have Nic so I don't need you. Good bye Blair. Have a nice life.” I stormed off in the opposite direction, heading to Nic's apartment.
When I arrived at Nic I was upset and I told him about what had happened he comforted me which I really needed. What Blair said was out of line and uncalled for but she had put everything into prospective for me that our friendship was over. If she couldn’t respect that I was in loving relationship and I can’t have someone so negative in my life like that. The mood soon changed as Nic dropped on me about going on a vacation together like a romantic getaway. My face lit up at the thought of being some quality time just Nic and I filled me with excitement. When he told me that we were going to Hawaii well that I was it I was like putty in his hands. Hawaii has always been a destination that I always wanted to go to and Lucas and I spoke about it a lot. The only problem was that my parents wouldn’t allow me to go without adult supervision.
Which brought me back to reality that my dad would not let me go on a vacation with Nic. He already has told me to call it off with Nic and that how his too old for me my father seem to think that Nic in his 30’s which is amusing. Nic asked me if it was going to be a problem going away and I told him everything fine which was a lie. I had to figure out a way to go away without my dad forbidding it. Spring break was coming up and I could use the excuse that I’m going away with friends of course I can’t add Blair in that as one dad would ask her and two she would tell him it’s a lie. So I kept a smile in front of Nic to show my excitement but deep down I’ve never betrayed my parents in such a way before I had always been straight and honest with them. But to spent time alone with Nic was worth this one little lie to my parents.
So I finally built up the courage to tell my parents about the trip to Honolulu of course my mom thought it would a great experience for me also a great getaway after what happen with Thea. Whereas my dad he was all sceptical about it asking me question after question, deep down I thought he knew I was lying. As a living my dad come face to face with liars in court so convincing him was my biggest challenge. Somehow I did after giving me a pop quiz my dad turned around and hoped that I and the girls have a great vacation. Not only that he gave me his black card and told me to go shopping which surprised me further.
So I was excited as the days came closer to going away with Nic I would finally have him all to myself. Not that I didn’t but when we did spend time together his cell would be going off and it would be business like always. So a whole week in Honolulu with no interruptions sounded like paradise to me. We had an evening flight and I felt like a kid I was so excited after we checked in. Nic had us waiting in the executive lounge until our flight was ready to board. We drank champagne I could see this was going to be a regular occurrence, the champagne was going straight to my head but I tried to keep my composure. As we boarded the plan we were directed to first class I took the window seat as I always loved to see the view taking off. With all that champagne I drank I actually pretty much fell asleep from the get go.
After 9 ½ hour flight I was woken up by Nic to let me know we had arrived I apologies that I fell asleep on him as always Nic was sweet and told me not to worry. As we came off the plane we were given Lei it was a garland of flowers and a tradition as tourist visited there country. Once our luggage was collected we got into a white stretch limo, Nic held my hand tightly as I looked out of the window in amazement. This tiny beautiful island was something really breathe taking. After a half hour drive we arrived at the hotel it was just as beautiful with all the palm trees and exotic flowers outside then entering the lobby it was filled with sculptures and beautiful painting. Nic went to check us in while I looked around at the amazing historical pieces they had on display. After a while Nic told me our room was ready I smiled as he took my hand as we entered the elevator.
I couldn’t believe that now we were in Hawaii, one of the most beautiful tropical islands in the world. Nic wanted nothing but the best for me. And price was no object in his eyes. We both walked into our suite and it was huge and it had all of the comforts of home. A large kitchen, living room with a 90 inch Viziio plasma TV, Sony stereo with sub-woofer, X-box and PlayStation, Huge bathrooms with a walk-in shower and Jacuzzi, gym, and large balcony to overlook all of Honolulu. Our room was huge too. There was a tan love seat coffee table, and chairs and a huge ottoman in front of the king-size bed with goose feather fluffy pillows and egg-shell carpeting underneath it. My eyes widened when I saw the bed and I started to feel nervous because this was the first time that I had ever been away with Nic. And I knew that eventually we were going to have sex and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to please him sufficiently. I began to look around the room with wonderment, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind. He began to kisses the side of my neck which sent a chill down my spine.
“Only the best for you” he spoke as a whisper while leaving a trial of kisses down to my shoulder. I turned around to face him, I was still worrying over the fact that I may not be able to please Nic in the bedroom department “What the matter” he asked as he caress my cheek “Aren't you happy sweetheart?” I placed my hands on his face and gave him a passionate kiss.
“I am very happy because I am with you and we are alone” I smiled at him to hide my fears maybe it won’t be as bad as I think. Nic knew I was inexperience that I had never had sex before so I don’t know why I’m worrying for.
“Well as long as you are sure” he stated with a smile then suddenly he picks me up which made me giggle then I felt the softness of the bed beneath me as he hovered over me “You are really something incredible Miss Russo” he spoke to me lovingly then smashed his lips into my he began to kiss me passionately. My heart began to pound in my chest. This was going to happen. We were going to make love for the first time and I weren't ready yet.
“I have a better idea. Let's go see what Honolulu has to offer.” I said with a smile as I sat up. I knew that we were going to make love eventually but it wasn't going to happen now I need time to prepare myself for that.
“Of course” he helped to me to my feet “Why don't you get into your bikini i make the necessary arrangement for tonight” he kissed my forehead. I gave him another kiss and walked to the bathroom to change into the skimpy gold bikini that I knew would him make him crazy. I walked out to see that Nic had just come off the phone, he turned to face me and gave me the expression that I have been expecting.
“You look stunningly beautiful” he walks over to me and stood inches apart, with his fore finger he was doing circular motion around my belly button once again giving me that chill “Well as we had a long flight i thought we could spend the afternoon by the pool” he moved my hair from her face “I can honestly say I’ve never seen such beauty before in my whole life” he spoke with sincerity in his voice as his blue-green eyes sparkled. I felt myself blushed because Nic always knew what to say and that is why I loved him so much. I couldn't wait to see what he had planned for us.
“Thank you” I pulled him close for a kiss “I can't wait to get a tan and maybe we can make out while we are there.” I noticed that his blue-green eyes lit up when I mentioned the making out part. Sometimes he was too cute for his own good.
“Well that idea pleases me very much” he stated huskily as he held my hand “Shall we?” I smiled and nodded as we left the room. They went down a flight of stairs and we were in a beautiful tropical garden. I looked around with wonderment as I was so happy as I was in paradise with the man I love. We reached the poolside “Why don't you relax while I get us something to drink” he plants me with a kiss on my lips. I know that I was being greedy as I pulled him back for another kiss. Sometimes I just couldn't get enough of Nic's soft lips.
“Hurry back sexy” I hit him on his cute little tush and squeezed it. Oh yeah it was still soft like Charmin. Maybe even softer. As I was getting settle I applied myself with tanning oil everywhere was pretty simple until it came to my back.
“Need some help there” I heard a voice say. I turned around and I saw some guy approach me. He was cute with his dark brown hair and blue eyes. But I could sense that he was a total tool too.
“No thanks I can do it. Thanks anyway.” I said politely with hope that he would take the hint and get lost before Nic returned. But I was wrong as he took a sit on the sun lounger next to mine.
“So what a beautiful girl like you doing here alone” he asked I just wanted him to leave me alone I wasn’t here to have guys hit on me I was here with my boyfriend to have a romantic week together.
“Why don't you leave the young lady alone” Nic spoke firmly I couldn’t help but smile as I saw my knight in shining armour.
“Who the hell are you” the guy scoffed as they were nose to nose. I couldn’t have them fighting and this guy was a total d*uche and not worth the time and effort.
“Nic please” I pleaded. The last thing that I wanted was for Nic to get into a fight with that tool.
“It appears sweetheart that this idiot is bothering you” Nic spoke though his teeth I hadn’t seen him behave like this in a long while I could see the anger in his face.
“What are you her father?” the tool spoke with sarcasm, the next moment Nic punches him in the face not hard enough to make his head turn to side. I was shocked when Nic punched the guy. Not that the d*uche didn't deserve it. But how did Nic get so strong to make a guy's head turn to the side like that. The staff from broke them up and the guy blood pouring from his nose they took him away to be checked out and Nic stood there with angry expression as he watched him being taken away.
The tension died down and Nic apologized for his actions, he did frighten me a little with this reaction but that soon faded. We were approached by one of the rep from the hotel asked if we wanted to join in with a game that they were about to set up a game of water hoops they needed two more people. Nic was about to decline the offer but I intervened and told them we would join them. Nic continued to protest but with a little gentle persuading I got Nic to join, it turned out to be a great game. Nic was on the opposite team and kept marking me but it looked like Mr Mikaelson was a little distracted a few times by myself which allowed me to score three times. The fun and games continued with bobbing heads and ending with dolphin relay. I hadn’t had this much fun in a long time.
Nic suggested that we returned to our room to get ready to go out for dinner. If I was honest I was so tired from all the fun and games I didn’t have the energy to go out. As we both entered the room Nic looked at me lovingly as he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him. I could feel the hardness of this erection as he kissed me passionately and I felt his hands slowly going up my back stopping at where my bikini strap. Then I felt it being undone I panic slightly as I knew what Nic wanted but I didn’t know if I was ready I don’t know if I would ever be ready but the fear over took me.
“Nic…” I broke away from him cupping my breast as I felt embarrassed. I know it was stupid to feel like that but I felt shy around him like that. “I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet” I spoke with honestly. Nic looked a little taken back for a moment.
“It’s fine love” he spoke with understanding but his expression said another “I’m going to have a shower” he walked away from me I felt my heart sink as he walked away. I was annoyed with myself as pushed him away once again. Truthfully why was I frighten? I loved Nic there was no denying that so why did I feel so frighten to go to the next level with him? I needed to face my fear I’m not a little girl anymore I’m turning into a young woman and now I’m going to put my fears to aside and show Nic how much of a woman I am.
I pad across the room to the bathroom and join him in the cascading water. I’m grateful for the steam that hides my shy blush at being so naked in front of him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be as comfortable in my skin as Nic is. He doesn’t turn immediately and I get a fantastic view of the perfect triangle of his back. Both hands are in his hair massaging shampoo into his scalp, making his biceps bulge and my satiety disappears along with my shyness. I move right up to his back and run my hands along his sculpted form, easily gliding around the slick curves. I can’t resist grabbing his firm behind and he spins around, shocked by my boldness but smiling. He catches my wrist and steps forward while pulling me close. His eyes switch from glowing to stormy in a heartbeat and he nudges my pussy with his leg that’s wedged between mine.
“You being rather bold Siena?” His words are always inflammatory but the tone is the things that liquefies my insides and my eyes flutter closed, so drawn to him, so needy. This was what I wanted I had been so shy so frighten over this one action but I knew that Nic was the man I wanted to share this experience with.
He makes a guttural sound and in an instant he’s on me, driving me back against the wall and kissing me with an urgency that leaves us both winded. His mouth is all over my face, kissing, sucking, licking, biting – he’s ferocious in his attack. His hands mirror his lips, plundering every inch of my skin he can reach, rubbing, moulding, and scorching. I responded as hard and as fast as I can, never more grateful that he tolerates my touch.
His lips make it to my ear, nipping and licking me closer to the building quake inside of me. “Siena I can’t get enough of you, I can never get e-fucking-nough!” His arms circle my hips, lifting my asss. I take the not so subtle hint and wrap my legs around him. “Yes!” I hiss my demand. Without hesitation he fills me, pounding hard and I take every thick slide of him drilling me to the slippery tiles.
A tenacious finger dives between us, quickening my clitoris with expert pressure. My senses are so overwhelmed all I can do is hold on for the inevitable shattering. He growl and skates his lips over to my breast, first milking then biting my nipple sending compounding darts to my groin and it’s all I can take. I splinter into a million pieces, forgetting myself, only aware of him pulsing wildly inside me.
Holy sh*t! Is it always like this? So intense? We catch our breaths, his face in my neck with my arms holding him there. He helps me stand then spends long moments looking at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. He pushes back my hair, his fingers finding and releasing hairpins as they go before he starts washing it, massaging my head with his glorious strong fingers.
The look in his eyes has me by the throat, his touch is exquisite but I’m worried that he’s suddenly so quiet. “Nic what’s wrong?” I ask, looking to meet his gaze I was frighten that I may have not pleased him or been enough for him. This was my first time I had no idea what do and this was one of my biggest fears.
He keeps his focus trained on his hands working my scalp and takes a steeling breath. “I’m overcome Siena, you have me under siege.” Honest and romantic, what more can a girl want? My heart jams with emotion for him, packed full – I feel the same way.
“I feel the same way, I lose myself in you and it scares me too but I’d rather be scared than without you.” I place my palm on the side of his face, gentling him to look at me. “I love you Nic Mikaelson – with everything I have.”
My words seem to drive the fear from his mind and I’m rewarded with his full smile before he crushes me to him, kissing the top of my head.
“Come, let me feed you.” I love that he’s accepting my words. We slip on fluffy white robes and Nic waits while I twist my hair in a towel. He takes my hand and we share a besotted look before we head to the lounge, ditching the idea of the formal table for dinner.
"Okay, Why, Miss Russo, you're full of surprises." Nic stated with a slight smirk I think my action from the bathroom surprised him. It wasn’t one of those perfect moments that I always imagined in my mind but to feel Nic inside me to feel such a connection. That was something even my own imagination could come up with.
"As are you, Mr. Mikaelson. It's one of the things I love about you." I kiss him gently at the corner of his mouth.
"What else do you love about me?" he asks and his eyes widen. I know it's a huge deal for him to ask this question. It humbles me and I blink at him. I love everything about him I know that life with Nic will never be boring.
"This." I stroke my index finger across his lips. "I love this, and what comes out of it, and what you do to me with it. And what's in here." I caress his temple. "You're so smart and witty and knowledgeable, competent in so many things. But most of all, I love what's in here." I press my palm gently against his chest, feeling his steady, beating heart. "You are the most compassionate man I've met. What you do. How you work. It's awe-inspiring," I whisper.
"Awe-inspiring?" He's puzzled, but there's a trace of humour on his face. Then his face transforms, and his shy smile appears as if he's embarrassed, and I want to launch myself at him. So I do. I felt safe in Nic like nothing could ever hurt me, I felt my eyes getting heavy no matter how much I thought it they eventually closed shut.
“Hmm” Nic is nuzzling my neck as I slowly wake.
"Morning, love," he whispers and nips at my earlobe. My eyes flutter open and close again quickly. Bright early morning light floods the room, and his hand is softly caressing my breast, gently teasing me. Moving down he grasps my hip as he lies behind me, holding me close. I stretch out beside him, relishing his touch, and feel his erection against my behind.
“Oh my. A Nic Mikaelson wake-up call” I could wake up to this every morning "You're pleased to see me," I mumble sleepily, squirming suggestively against him. I feel his grin against my jaw.
"I'm very pleased to see you," he says as he skates his hand over my stomach and down to cup my pussy and explore with his fingers. "There are definite advantages to waking up beside you, Miss Russo" he teases and gently pulls me round so that I'm lying on my back. "Sleep well?" he asks as his fingers continue their sensual torture. He's smiling down at me—his dazzling,-drop-dead-male-model-perfect-teeth smile. He takes my breath away.
My hips begin to sway to the rhythm of the dance his fingers have begun. He kisses me chastely on the lips and then moves down my neck, nipping slowly, kissing, and sucking as he goes. I moan. He's gentle and his touch is light and heavenly. His intrepid fingers move down, and slowly he eases one inside me, hissing quietly in ear.
"Oh, Siena," he murmurs reverentially against my throat. "You're always ready." He moves his finger in time with his kisses as his lips journey leisurely across my clavicle and then down to my breast. He torments first one, then the other nipple with teeth and lips, but oh-so-gently, and they tighten and lengthen in sweet response. I groan. "Hmm," he growls softly and raises his head to give me a blazing look. "I want you now." He reaches over to the bedside table. He shifts on top of me, taking his weight on his elbows, and rubs his nose along mine while easing my legs apart with his. He kneels up and rips open the foil packet. I began to giggle I didn’t know if it was nerves or the fact that I was going to make love to Nic once again but it came out involuntary. He smirks at me as he rolls on the condom. "Are you giggling, Miss Russo?"
"No." I try and fail to straighten my face as I didn’t want him to think I was being childish.
"Now is not the time for giggling." He shakes his head in admonishment and his voice is low, stern, but his expression— holy sh*t! He push himself inside me in a sudden swoop. My breath catches in my throat.
"I thought you liked it when I giggle," I whisper hoarsely, gazing into the dark depths of his stormy eyes.
"Not now. There's a time and a place for giggling. This is neither. I need to stop you, and I think I know how," he says as his body covers mine as we both explored each other bodies.
Last night and this morning was everything that I dreamed of and more. I kept replaying our lovemaking over and over again in my mind. I loved how Nic touched me, how he kissed me. The way that our bodies just seemed to fit together like we were missing pieces of a puzzle. Nic had set my soul on fire and he was more man that I ever needed. I didn't even feel like I was there on the balcony. I felt like I was in heaven and I didn't wanna come back down. I didn't notice that Nic was trying to get my attention until he touched my shoulder and I jumped.
“Day dreaming sweetheart” he asked while smirking “I did ask how is your food?” picked up my hand and kisses the top of it “Your too adorable at time Siena” he kisses up my arm leaving a trail butterfly kisses.
“It’s delicious” I stated absently as his tender kisses sent shivers down my spine and I felt a tremble in my belly. I didn't really want to eat. And I felt like I was going to be sick. I had to be in love. Nic continued to eat his egg Benedict then stopped.
“So what would the beautiful lady in my life like to do today? We can go to the volcano, swim with dolphin, surfing, and there also is shopping which I know you thoroughly enjoy. There so many thing we can you all you need to do is pick” he smiled then continued to eat. Everything that he suggested sounded like a lot of fun. But after last night, I was sore and very tired.
“As tempting as all of those ideas are Nic I am going to take a rain check and I was hoping that we could talk.” I notice Nic looking up frowning and with a confused expression.
“What on your mind sweetheart“ He put his fork down and hold my left hand. There was something I wanted to know something I need to know to ease my mind.
“Nic do you want to have a family one day?” I asked going straight to the point I wanted to know what kind of future he wanted us to have. Nic let go of my hand and sit back in his seat his action took me by surprise as he appeared to be cold.
“What brought this on? You only coming up to 18 I would think having a family would be the last thing on your mind.” Nic once again spoke a little coldly. Yes I knew I hadn’t reached 18 yet but I needed to know what kind of future that he and I would have.
“Because I want to know what the future holds for us. So let me ask you a question. When you think about the future, do you see yourself having a family with me? Because one day I want to be a mom and have a baby. I'm not saying now but in the future and I was wondering how you felt about that.” I smiled at him, hoping that his answer would be yes and that he would want to have a family with me.
“Children have never been something i wanted. All that crying and changing diapers. Then there talking back and cheekiness. Let not forget supporting it until it's able to fend for itself.” Nic spoke as in having a child would be the end of the world that it would be a burned to have a child and I didn’t know how to think to his comment. “So the answer to your question would be no” then he poured himself some juices not looking at me. I was filled with regret asking that question now because I knew it had killed the mood but I had to ask. Now knowing that Nic doesn’t want to have the same things as me could this relationship continue? I glanced over at him and my heart fluttered I was madly deeply in love with him and all I saw was Nic as my future and I need to accept that children will not be a part of that.
The vacation in Honolulu had it’s moments there would be tense moment between Nic and I after that conversation we had on our first morning I notice a slight change in Nic. I tried to not let it affect this getaway we had an amazing time with going to the beach trying out all different types of water sports. Each day started and ended with Nic and I making love as the days went pass I felt a little more confident and took a little more control which pleased him. The vacation went by pretty quick and as soon as I knew it I was back in New York getting back to the daily grime of school life.
Two months were passing and still I felt a little unsettled about my relationship with Nic it was like I had moment where I would think was this going to go anywhere. I knew I loved him and that wasn’t the huge question mark that hung over my head it was the fact that we both wanted different things. It was our one year anniversary Nic came to my apartment and while he waited for me my dad decided to giving him the "talk" I could hear from my room my dad voice with you hurt my daughter I’ll hunt you down kind of talk. I bought a green channel cocktail dress for this special day I still remember locking eyes with him at the art exhibition. My British hottie as I called him back then. So I wanted to look extra special for him to show him that I’m grateful that even though we have had trials and tribulations we got here. When I came in to the living room Nic smiled widely as he saw me but my dad continued with the rules that I needed to be home at certain time. He approached me and whispered into my ear that he had put pepper spray in her purse which I found totally embarrassing. I wasn’t going to pepper spray my boyfriend but my dad wasn’t going to give up about this relationship being wrong. We left the apartment and made our way to Nic car.
“So your father suggested to used pepper spray on me” he spoke then he began to chuckle. I rolled my eyes. My dad was being beyond ridiculous. I weren't a baby and I was tired of him treating me like one. I was an adult and I was quiet capable of making my own decisions including who I wanted to date and how long that I could stay out with them.
“He is overreacting. Just ignore him.” I gave Nic a kiss “Let's not talk about my dad ok? Let's just enjoy ourselves.” I stated with a bright smile as I didn’t want anything to ruin this evening.
“Well i have an eventful evening planned for the both of us” Nic stated with a smirk “You look beautiful as always” he grabbed hold of my while driving and kissed it.
“Why am I not surprised? You are just full of surprises Nic. Maybe that is why I love you so much.” I smiled at him. I meant every word. I loved him so much and I could definitely see a future with him. I wondered if he would ever propose to me. Just thinking about marrying Nic made me shiver with pleasure.
“Well I’m sure you will like where I’m taking you tonight.” I weren't surprised that Nic didn't say that he loved me. It was the first time that I had told him that i loved him. I always knew that I was in love with him. But I wanted to wait until the right time to tell him. I knew that Nic loved me too and it would only be a matter of time before he told me that he loved me. I just had to be patient.
“It doesn't matter where we go just as long as I am with you Nic.” I said softly. Nic cleared his throat nervously. As he parked up outside the restaurant.
“Well here we are Love” he spoke a little coldly as he climb out of the car. I was little hurt by his attitude and I couldn't help thinking what the hell just happened and what was he pissed about. But I decided to ignore it because I figured that he was nervous about whatever he was planning for me.
“Ok”I said as I followed him out of the car. As we walked to the restaurant, Nic put his hand around my waist and I smiled at him as we walked inside.
“Mr Mikaelson. We have the table you requested” Nic smiled and we follows with his arm around me. We took a seat as we sat opposite each other.
“I thought to bring you to your favourite restaurant. You've told me you've have had found memories here” Nic smiled at me. I did have memories here. Memories of me with Thea and Blair and Lucas before Nic had entered my life. I forced myself to smile for all I wanted to do was enjoy dinner with him on our anniversary.
“You are so sweet Nic. What did I do to deserve a guy like you?” I kissed him lightly on the cheek being careful not to smear my lipstick. The dinner continued and small talk between the both of us but Nic continued with the coldness. The waiter came along and asked if they wanted the deserter menu.
“No we shall be leaving. May i have the bill please” Waiter left then returned with the bill Nic paid and we both left, I didn’t expect for the evening to come to an end so soon. We got into Nic car, he drove for a while nothing was said between us. I didn’t know where he was driving to but I didn’t want to question him suddenly the car stopped. Nic gets out and walks over to my side and opened the door. I got out and he gave me a kiss on the cheek and held my hand. I looked up and saw that we were at the empire state building. What were we doing here? Before I could question he began to walk towards the door still holding my hand. We went into the elevator and brought them to the top floor. I wondered what Nic had planned for us. I was thinking that he was going to take me home because he had an attitude for pretty much the remainder of dinner and I was annoyed and hurt because he had ruined our one year anniversary in my eyes and I wanted to get away from him.
“What's going on? Why have you brought me here?” I states in annoyed yet wondering tone as I turned to face my boyfriend. Nic ignore my question as he opened and door he went up the two flights of stairs he was annoying me right now and I was in two minds of following him. So I decided to find out why the hell he brought me here, I climb the stairs and saw an open door leading outside and Nic standing there look out to the city “Nic….” I called out to him as I began to approach him he was really worrying me right now.
“Siena don’t the city that never sleep look stunning from here” I looked at all the thousands of light that lit up the city Nic was right it did look stunning “Siena I would like to show you all the beauties of the world, all the amazing scenery and fine art you would find it all truly amazing” he turned to me and smiled he placed his hand on my cheek “Siena Russo I've never met a woman like you, I want you to know that I’m so truly and utterly in love with you” I feeling guilty for being annoyed with Nic. I was speechless as he professed his love for me. Tears filled my eyes and I gave him a deep passionate kiss.
“Oh Nic I love you too. I love you very much and I can't wait to see what life has to offer us next.” I kissed him again. Nothing else mattered but Nic. I felt like Cinderella and I had finally met my Prince Charming.
In the morning when I work up I didn’t feel too great as I was getting ready for school I have had this feeling of nausea for couple weeks now. But this morning I actually puked but what I couldn’t understand that it had this orange colour to it, I didn’t recall eating anything that would have turned it that colour. So I cleared myself up and began to get ready for school, my phone beep with a reminder I looked at it and it stated that I should be due on my period. I stopped for a moment and began to think when my last period was? That when I realized I couldn’t even remember. My heart began to accelerate slightly at the thought of potentially being pregnant I was going to be 18 in a few months and I don’t know if I was ready to be a mom. Then there was my parents who would freak and be disappointed in me not forgetting Nic he made it pretty clear that he didn’t want a child.
I needed to know for sure what was going on with me right now. So I threw on my school uniform and grabbed my bag and made my way out of the apartment without saying bye to my parents. I couldn’t face them right now not with this possibility of being pregnant. When I got down to the lobby Royce asked if I was going to school early I throbbed him off with I need to go to the library he offered to drive me but I declined his offer. As I left the building I was walking the streets like a crazy person trying to get to the drug store banging into people and apologising. When I reach Caligor Pharmacy it was still closed and opened on five minutes. Those five minutes felt like a life time as I kept thinking of the possibility of being pregnant, I finally convince myself that I’m going to end up taking this test and it being negative. And all this stress and worry will be over nothing.
When it opened I walk straight in went over to where all the different types of pregnancy test there were dozens of brands and I didn’t know which one to go for. The pharmacies came over asked if I needed help I felt a little embarrassed as she looked at my school blazer and knew I was one of the girls from Blackwood high. I grabbed two test and shook my head and headed for the counter to pay. She began to tell me that “Clear Blue” brand was actuate that how this particular one would tell you one if your pregnant and also how many weeks. As I tried to pay her she was asking a dozen more questions all I wanted was to get the hell out of there and pee on this stick and to tell me that I’m not pregnant.
I finally left the drug store and began to head toward school once again with so many thought going through my mind. If I was pregnant would I keep it? I knew if I did I would be raising it alone that Nic had no interest in being a father, so in the process I would lose him. Also the fact of how my parents would feel about it I’m sure my dad would send me to some nunnery in Italy keep me there till I’m 40. I felt frighten and alone and I had no one to turn to and it was my own fault because I drove everyone away.
When I arrived in school I went straight to the girl’s bathroom. I sat in the toilet cubical reading the instruction and it seem pretty simple, pee on the stick and wait for the result in a few minutes. So I did as it was explained and I sat on the toilet with my leg shaking as I waited for the results. The bell went for first class which made me jump and dropping the test on the floor. I picked it up and my eyes went on the digital screen where it stated “pregnant” and underneath “8-9 weeks” I began to shake my head this couldn’t be happening. I took out the other test that was in the packet and did the same process I waited for a few minutes and it stated I was pregnant and I was 8-9 weeks. It couldn’t be happening I couldn’t be pregnant. Tears began to fill my eyes and I began to sob as I didn’t know what any of this meant for me I don’t know if I’m even ready for any of this but right now all I could do was cry my heart out.
After spending most of my first period in the toilet coming to terms with the fact that I have this tiny person inside me, I need to get some air as I felt as if I was going to pass out. So I went out by the school yard and sat near the fountain I tried to think of what I needed to do. I had no idea I knew I only had two option either to keep the baby or to abort it. When I thought about aborting it I began to cry because this little creation inside me was made out of love, the love that Nic and I had for each other but I knew he would never accept the baby.
“Siena....” I heard Blair spoke with concern “What’s wrong?” then I felt her placed her arm around me. I didn't know what I was going to do. I was 2 months pregnant with Nic's child and I couldn't tell him that I was pregnant or my parents. He would dump me as he had been very clear about not wanting to be a father ever. And my parents would kill me and I knew that my dad would go after Nic. I felt so alone in my pregnancy. Thea was dead and Blair and I weren't speaking to each other anymore. There was nobody that I could turn to. So I was shocked when Blair was asking me what was wrong with me. Without thinking about it, I buried my face in her shirt and sobbed. Blair wrapped her arms around Siena as she sobbed “Hey. What happened?” she pulled me away from her and looked at me I was crying that much Blair looked like a blur in front of me “Your scaring me Siena please tell me what has happen.”
“Blair I'm pregnant” I sobbed before burying my face back in her shirt.
“Wow” that all she could say. I knew she was surprised that I had done the deed and two I would be the last person that she thought would ever fall pregnant as I was always so responsible “I know you’re in shock.” Blair pulled her away “But have you told Nic? How does he feel about this?” At that moment my stomach turned reminding me of the joys of pregnancy as it had for the last 2 weeks. My parents thought that I had the flu. “Excuse me.” I held my hand over my mouth as I ran for the girls bathroom.
“Siena you okay?” Blair called out she knew I wasn't okay but I guess she didn’t know what else to say. I flushed the toilet flush came out of the cubical “So does he know?” Blair asked once again. I walked to the sink and rinsed my mouth out. I felt terrible.
“No” I whispered I only just found out myself and I knew what Nic reaction would be so there wasn’t any point.
“Don't you think he should know? He is the father right?” it was more of statement rather than a question “You both need to talk about this as a couple and decide what you want Siena.” Blair spoke with sympathy. I laughed. But it was dry and bitter. I already knew what Nic would say if I told him about the baby.
“I can't tell him.” I stated quietly “He doesn't want to be a father” I was teary again because I was going to have to raise the baby alone and I weren't sure if I could do that.
“Okay...Okay. Right!” Blair spoke stunned as she ran her finger though her hair “You need to think about your options Siena. Are you going to keep it? Ar-are you going to....” I knew Blair couldn't say it as she could see that my eyes began to tear up and she hugged her friend tightly “Siena you’re not alone thought this. You hear me! I'm going to be there for you every step of the way” she pulled me away from her “Okay. No matter what you chose to do I’m going to be there” Blair was the last person who I thought would be comforting me through this as we hadn’t spoken since that day at the restaurant but right now I was grateful for her being here.
“Blair what I am going to do? I can't tell my parents that I'm pregnant and I can't tell Nic either. He was very clear about not wanting to be a dad.” I sobbed “I can't raise a baby alone. I'm not even 18 and I haven't graduated from high school yet” Blair looked at me with sorrow I knew if she could wave a magic wand she make everything better for me. But life not like that I had put myself in this mess and I needed to face up to it.
“I’m sorry to say this Siena but maybe the best thing for you is to have an abortion. You’re not ready for this right now” she held my hand “You’re going to make an amazing mom one day but your barely 18 and your got your whole life ahead of you.” The word abortion caught my attention could I do that?
“Abortion? Could I really do that?” I placed a hand on my stomach where the baby grew. I didn't want to get an abortion. But it seemed like that was my only option. I wiped my face and looked at Blair “I guess that you're right.” I stated sadly as she was right I was young and I had so much ahead of me and in time maybe I would be a mother but if I chose to be with Nic I would never have that option.
So I made my decision I decided to go ahead with the abortion. Blair and I skipped school and went to Starbucks that when I made the phone call to the “Early abortion Centre” what surprised me is the fact that they could fit me in that afternoon. I hesitate to answer but Blair took the phone and told them that we would be there. I just sat there stunned that I was going to go through this that in a few short hours this problem that I created would be gone. Blair and I sat in Starbuck until 2pm she kept asking me if I was okay and if I was sure about this as I had time to back out. Deep in my heart I knew that having the abortion was the right thing all round. So I assured her that I was happy to go ahead with this.
We both got in a taxi and told the driver to take us to 124 E 40th Street the whole car journey she held my hand tightly and occasionally giving me the encouraging smile which did help. When we arrived we both got out of the taxi and paid and made our way in. Blair sat down while I went to the reception to sign myself in. She inform that APRN (An advanced Practice Registered Nurse) would be with me shortly. We both sat in this waiting room and it was filled we a couple of girls who I guess were hear for the same reason as me. I wasn’t alone there was other people of my age who knew that having a child at young age was the wrong thing to do. Each of us gave a small smile as we all knew in a few hours the burden we held was going to be gone.
APRN came out and called my name I got up and looked at Blair and she gave me tight hug and told me that everything was going to be okay. I followed the APRN and she took a urine/blood test to confirm the pregnancy. They were both positive. Then the APRN gave me a vaginal ultrasound and determined that I was 8.5 weeks pregnant. Then she made me watch a video on medical abortion and then answered any questions I had which I didn’t have many. The APRN then led me into a room where she said I could take all the time I needed before swallowing the first pill, Mifeprex. I didn't want to wait so I just took it and chugged it down with a bottle of water. She handed me a packet of things I would need to buy for at home and 3 prescriptions to fill at the pharmacy. Pain pills, anti-nausea pills, and birth control pills to start later in the week. Directly from the clinic I was given 4 Misoprostol tablets and a 7 day supply of anti-biotic.
I had to wait 24 hours until I was able to insert the 4 Misoprostol tablets between my gums and my cheeks. Then to take the pain and anti-nausea pills before taking the 4 Misoprostol pills. And make sure you eat at least an hour before taking these pills. It was all a lot to take in but I needed to follow the instructions to not get any kind of infection. APRN asked me if I understood everything clearly I just nodded my head. I left the room went back to the reception area where Blair stood there with open arms. I hugged her tightly I knew this was right because I didn’t hesitate taking that pill. The only thing is now going through the processes of this abortion and I feared it wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience either.
Blair wanted to come over to my place to spend the night but I wanted to be alone. I appreciated her concern but I knew I didn’t want to go school for a few days and having Blair over they think that we stayed up all night. So I assured her I will call her and text her how I’m feeling. I went to the pharmacy to pick up all the medication prescribe to me. When I arrived home I went straight to my room I went to have a shower as I felt dirty in the sense that it all hit me what I had done. Regardless how right my decision was it didn’t stop the guilt I was bearing. Once I showered and got into my sweat and laid on my bed. I wanted to me alone I felt nausea which was expect and I puked twice my mom heard me and checked in on me, she wanted to pile me up with medication but I couldn’t add additional meds it might affect the ones I was taking. My mom ordered me to bed and told me not to go school tomorrow, which kind of worked out perfectly for me. I climb into bed and I heard my phone beep I looked at the screen to see a message from Nic.
Nic: Sweetheart I expected a visit from you today. Is everything okay?
Reading that message from Nic brought tears to my eyes and I knew if I didn’t reply to him that he would try and call and I wasn’t ready to speak to him yet.
Siena: I’m not feeling great Nic. I came home early from school. I’m going to try and sleep it off I’ll call you tomorrow. xxxx
I turned off my cell as I knew he would text to ask what wrong with me I didn’t wanted to be texting him again. I turned on my TV and began to watch some random movie ever so often my mom would check in on me then followed by my dad. He actually sat with me on the bed and watch a movie while I cuddle him I hadn’t done this since I was a kid but being in m dads arms right now made me feel safe and secure and stopped me from crying. He could tell I was tried and gave me a kiss on the cheek and ordered me to get some sleep. I did as I was told and laid in the dark but the thing was I couldn’t fall asleep I was up and down all night long whether it was puking or think that the bleeding was starting I was totally paranoid all night. I probably slept for a couple of hours.
Morning came and everyone had gone to work I felt a lot worse and I tried to pull myself together. I tried to keep myself busy by watching day time TV or some wacky soap opera. It was coming to the 24 hour mark and I recalled how I was meant to eat before taking the medication. I could hardly hold anything down but I forced myself to eat crackers and some cashews. I took the 4 Misoprostol tablets and place them in my mouth for 30 minutes of letting them "soak" into my cheeks I swallowed the rest and waited. I was told by the APRN not to lay down, to sit on the couch or on my bed so my back was against something. If you lay down you're making it more difficult for your uterus to push out the tissue - whereas if you're sitting or standing gravity will help it come out easier.
I sat down and felt fine for the first hour - nothing weird just some period like cramps. The blood started to come out about 45 mins after taking the pills. Some more cramping in the next 2-3 hours which got a little intense but nothing i couldn't manage. I was so grossed out when the first clot came out - it didn't hurt - it just felt really really slimy and gross. I believe I used the bathroom about 4-5 times where clots were passed that I could feel. After I was done passing the tissue I felt a lot better. I didn't throw up or have problems with pooping it’s a "side effect" was being exhausted! I didn't want to lay down because I wanted this experience to be over ASAP, so I sat on a pillow on the couch and leaned on the armchair. I fell asleep for about 2 hours.
I woke up as my back was hurting I got up from the couch and I still had slight cramping happening I went into my bedroom. I felt kind of numb right now as I looked around my room. I went into my bathroom and looked in the mirror I looked a mess like I hadn’t slept for a week and I thought a hot shower would probably refresh me right now. So I got undressed and go into the shower with the warm water against my skin it felt nice and it eased the aching in my stomach too. Once I was done I wrapped a towel around me I dried myself off and put on my underwear securing the pad to my panties as I knew there more of a flow coming. I got changed into loose clothing and I went into my room I sat at my desk and I was about to go online when I heard the front door slam.
“Siena we need to talk. In my office now.” he spoke sternly then I heard him walk away. I heard my dad as he ordered me to come to his office. I was still sore and sick so the last thing that I wanted to do was talk to my father. But I knew that he was angry and if I didn’t go and face him. It would just make things worse for me. So still feeling like crap I made my way slowly to his office. When I got there I didn't knock and I walked in.
“Hi daddy you wanted to see me?” he looked at me and I could see anger in his face. Why was he so mad? What had happened?
“I had a phone call today from Juliet Rodriguez” he began to pace “It seems that she was in Hawaii about 2 months back” he looks at me “She seems to think you were there not with your friends but your boyfriend who I forbidden you to go on vacation with” my dad voice roared. I didn't know what to say in my defence. Actually there weren't nothing that I could say because I was busted and Juliet Rodriguez was the biggest gossip that I had ever met. She never knew when to mind her own damn business. My head was pounding and I weren't in the mood for a lecture.
“Daddy- *I began only to be cut off by my father.
“You lied” he yelled as he approached me “What has happened to you? The girl i brought up would never lie to her own mother and father. This Nic has corrupted you. You not seeing him again” he stated has he banged his glass on the table “Do you understand Siena” he glared at me. Normally I would cry and run to my room. But not this time. I loved Nic and I weren't going to be told what to do. I glared at my angry father.
“You can't stop me from seeing him!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, wincing as I did it “I love him and I'm not a baby! You can't tell me what to do! After graduation i am moving out!” With that I turned and ran to my room in pain. I went into my bedroom slamming my door shut and locking it I didn’t need my dad storming in here making demands and forbidding me not to see Nic. I grabbed my phone from my bed and as expect my dad was banging on the door demanding me to come out. I found Nic number and I called him after about five rings he answered.
“Nic I’m going to come over to yours” I asked with hope in my voice I couldn’t be here right now not with my dad finding out I lied and laying into me the way he was. I went into the bathroom to block out my dad yelling.
“Siena you can’t just assume you can just come over” Nic spoke coldly which threw me I felt a lump build up in my throat and I tried to push it back down “Siena I have to go” with that he hung up on me, I slid down to the floor and began to cry as I needed him more than ever and once again he pushed me away. I don’t know how much more I can take of this I love him that I know but this constant change in attitude I couldn’t handle anymore. It wasn’t healthy and it’s making me realized are Nic and I meant to be?