A Month and a Half Later
I was packing the pounds on slowly but surely. I've come a long way from before. I look a little less sick, and a little more healthy. The cancer has been removed, so I'm okay for that. Papa and I made a deal. If I got better he would, so that meant he would cut back on drinking, and he has done more than before. I'm proud of the both of us. I've also stopped the cocaine use, so that was another good thing. It was almost the middle of November, and that meant Christmas was almost here again. Something I didn't want to deal with. About two months ago it marked one year since Em passed, and it still doesn't feel like it's been this long. Tonight we were having a family dinner. Something dad's decided to do every now and then. I wasn't off of the tube yet, but this was the first time my family members would know about it. Last family dinner I was in for surgery, so they had it without me. I was glad because I didn't wanna explain the whole situation.
I was the first one up this morning. I had the kids with me while I took a bath. Well I wasn't in yet. I was ready to weigh myself before getting in. I got on the scale to weigh myself, and honestly I was so nervous. I heard a knock on the door. "Sam, you okay?" "Yeah I'm just getting into the tub after I weigh myself." "Alright let me know the results." I agreed as he left I'm assuming. I looked down and saw ninety-nine pounds. That was better than the solid eighty I was weighing a while back. I wasn't disappointed, but I wasn't happy at the same time. I stepped into the warm bath. It was relaxing. Sadie stood up and tried to splash in the water. "No, play with your toys." She laughed at me. I ignored her silliness as I sunk down further.
I don't remember falling asleep in the bathtub, but I do remember dad pulling me out of the water. That wasn't fun. "Sam why didn't you call me to help you?" Dad said as he handed me a towel. "Dad I didn't even know I fell asleep. Where's the kids?" "Your uncle took them downstairs. So how much do you weigh?" I knew he wouldn't stop asking if I didn't tell him. "I weigh ninety-nine pounds. I'm almost a hundred pounds. So does that mean I can come off of the tube?" Dad chuckled as I got dressed. "Nice try, that doesn't mean that. When you get to a reasonable weight you can. Now you're gonna eat dinner with us tonight?" "Yes I am. I just don't want everyone to throw questions at me. They know I'm sick right?" Dad sighed. "Yes dear they do. I will tell them at the door to not bother. But try not to throw your food up." I rolled my eyes. "Dad I haven't thrown up in a, never mind. I won't throw up tonight." "Alright, well your aunt is coming with grandpa in an hour. So maybe we should go and get the place set up." I agreed, then he helped me downstairs.
I saw everyone down there. It was an overwhelming sight. "Hi sweetie how are you?" "Dad you said they'd be here in an hour." "Well I had to lie a bit. I knew you would be hesitant about coming down here if you knew they were here early." "Okay true, but still could have told me. I'm doing okay Mel." "That's good to hear honey." I smiled. "Yeah I suppose. I can see you've met my son, and my brother and sister." "Marlon is adorable. He's such a happy baby. The other two have been ignoring me so I let them be." That was Dakota and Sadie for you. "Yeah they do that. Where's grandpa?" "He's in the kitchen bothering your father." I looked to dad. "Is Papa cooking?" "Yeah he's making himself some lunch." "Oh okay, um so what am I supposed to do?" "Sit down and relax darling." I sat down on the couch. Aunt Mel looked over to me. "What's that attached to your nose?" I was a bit embarrassed. "It's my feeding tube." She looked worried now. "George is she got another illness?" "Yes, she's got a disorder. It doesn't have anything to do with her cancer." "Then is it her other health issues? Like is it an eating disorder? I won't tell dad." Dad rubbed his eyes. "Yes it is an eating disorder, but please don't tell dad or Yioda. Yioda wouldn't understand, and dad he'd think we're starving his little ducky, so please keep this to yourself." She took a deep breath, then placed her hand on my shoulder. "I won't Yog, but if he asks it's your job to tell him. He worries a lot about her. Ever since last month when she was hospitalized it worries him." Dad nodded. "I know it does. It worries everyone else too. She's gonna be fine Mel. She's getting better." Mel smiled as she played with Marlon.
I looked over to see grandpa coming back into the lounge. "Georgios, what is wrong with my little duckling? Kenny says she's sick." Dad held his face in his hands. "Kenny! I thought we discussed not saying anything to dad?" "Sorry G, he asked me and I had to tell him." He came over to me. "What's in her nose?" Dad seemed overwhelmed. "Kenny it's your turn. I'm going to go get David up." Papa looked a little red. "Um, she's got to have that cause of her sickness. She'll have it out in a few weeks. It helps give her the medication she needs." Grandpa nodded. "Alright then, where's David?" I answered for him. "He's takin' a nap grandpa." "Ah okay. I mean he is getting pretty old." We both laughed. Mel then asked me another question. "How old is Marlon now?" "He's four and a half months. He's a very big boy for being a bit premature. He was supposed to be born last month, but he's doing just fine." She looked at him. "Yes he is. He's very happy I can tell. He is such a good baby, and so are the twins." I felt panic arise in my body. It was bringing on my asthma. "Papa, I need my inhaler." He got off the couch to go find it. "I'll go get it." Mel looked at me. "I didn't know that this still affected you?" "Yeah it has gotten a bit worse." I was now struggling to breathe. Papa finally came back in. He got me to calm down a bit. Then he handed me half a sandwich. It seemed like they were all staring at me. "Papa I don't want this." "Eat it, you'll be fine." I scowled as I ate it.
Dad and Uncle David came in halfway through my sandwich eating. "Sam what are you eating?" "A sandwich that I don't want." "Oh don't be foolish. Eat your sandwich." I placed the other half down. "I need a drink. I'll be back." Dad gave me the eye. Man if looks could kill I'd be dead. Today would be the first time in a few days that I've ate real food. Well to their knowledge. I eat in secret. I got into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. I poured myself a glass of juice. I was trying to see if it'd help the urge to go away. Eating my favourite things helped with the process a bit. I was drinking my favourite thing too, and yet it seemed not to work. I felt everything coming back up. I felt the tears forming. I was struggling tonight. "Sam are you alright?" "Yeah." My voice cracked. "Are you sure? You don't sound alright." "I'm fine." "Okay I'll leave you be." I drank some more of my juice. Then the urge became stronger. I was staring into the sink was someone startled me. That made me throw up into the sink. It came out of my nose and it hurt so bad. I kept throwing up. I sobbed as it was going on. "Sweetie it's okay." I didn't think so. "Samantha Lesley Diana you better not have thrown up!" Papa yelled. I saw the horrified look on Auntie Mel's face. She saw my look as well. "Shh, it's gonna be okay. Daddy sent me in here to check on you. He knows you're upset. Just rinse this down the sink. I won't tell your father." I agreed and rinsed the stuff out of the sink.
I was startled again by dad coming into the kitchen. "Sam are you alright?" "Yeah I am daddy." "Alright come to the guest room with me for a minute. I wanna speak to you in private." I could see something was wrong. "Okay I'm following you then." He took me by the hand as we went down the hall. We went into the guest room. He sat me down as he closed the door. "Come up on the bed a bit more." His voice was shaky. I moved up a bit further. He climbed onto the bed. "Sammy come here." I went to him. "Daddy what's wrong?" I saw him wiping his eyes. "I don't know anymore baby. Just give me a hug, please." I scooted over to get closer. I wrapped my arms around him as he did the same. "I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you." "No daddy it's okay. What's going on?" "I'm just having so much anxiety right now. I'm losing my mind. I feel so bad right now. I think one's coming on, and they don't know about them." I knew he was talking about his seizures. "It's okay daddy. I'm here and I'm not judging you. I'm sorry if me throwing up upset you." "No that's not what upset me. Your father is just upset okay, and sometimes we don't need to know why." "I know dad. I understand. Just breathe and relax." I was hurting to see him so upset. "Daddy I love you. You know that right." "Yes baby. I love you too. Lay down it's easier for me to hold onto you." He then paused. "Dad?" He went down like that. He was just so nervous and it was really scary to see. "Dad! Not now. Don't do this to me." I heard a small knock. "Who is it?" "It's D. Is everything alright? I've got you down for a feeding soon." I tried to sound fine. "Yeah everything's alright. Why?" "Well when I walked passed the room I could hear you two upset. Is your father alright?" "Um, I think so." "Can I come in?" "NO!" I was holding dad on his side. "Why not? What's going on?" I felt dad urinate. "Fuck! Dad come on!" I screamed. "I'm coming in!" He then burst through the door. He saw me sitting on top of dad. "Sam nothing seems okay." He shut the door. "I know." I cried even more. "David they're getting worse." He sighed as he came over to us. "I know sweetie, I know." I screamed in frustration. "I just want him to be okay." "I know you do. Get off of him so I can help." "No he's calming down a bit. Your voice seems to be doing the trick." "It usually does." Dad turned on his back. "Samantha where are we? And why are you on top of me?" "We're in the guest bedroom, and I'm on top of you because you had another seizure." "Oh shit. My dad and sister are here." "Dad go get changed okay. I'll take care of the rest." He smiled. It was beautiful.
~
We were all sitting at the dinner table. I noticed papa was staring me down. I was now in an annoying mood for some reason. "Could you stop staring at me while I eat?" "Well maybe you should be eating." "I'd eat if you'd stop watching me." "I'd stop watching you if you ate." I was getting annoyed. "Alright here. Look at this. I'm eating Kenneth." Dad snickered as I began to eat. "Call me that one more time and you can forget about dessert." Papa hated being called Kenneth. Which he knew I knew, and he wasn't having any of it. "Alright Kenneth. I could care less." I took a sip of my drink. "What did I tell you about calling me that." Dad was still giggling like a school girl. So was David. "You told me you didn't like it cause it was a stupid name. I like Kenneth. What about you dad?" Dad couldn't contain his laughter. "Samantha, I think you should stop." I kept eating. "Look Kenneth I'm eating! Ha, ha, ha!" Dad was still laughing his ass off, and I was still gonna annoy papa. "Samantha, enough is enough. Stop calling me Kenneth. I mean it." "What are you gonna do about it Kenneth?" "I'm gonna fuckin' smack the sass right out of your mouth if you continue." I looked over to dad. He was trying to contain himself as he was eating. "Do it Kenneth." I got up to go get a drink. "I will. So don't try it." I was at the counter pouring my drink. "Daddy did you ever just like go around the bedroom and be like 'Oh Kenneth, oh Kenneth'?" Dad spit his drink out. "Sam, baby come on." Papa wasn't having any of this. "Samantha Lesley Diana, come back to the table with manners." "Ooh dad I got full named. Kenneth Earl, I will come back with some manners." He threw something at me. I shrieked. I was in this spunky mood and I don't know why. I went back and at the table. Papa was probably just upset because he didn't have any alcohol. "So how is everyone's meal?" Dad had to turn away. Papa scowled. "What's wrong Kenneth? Your dinner not good enough for you." "You're lucky you're on the other side of this god damn table." "I am Kenneth. I wouldn't want to be seated by Mr. Grumpy pants." "You have til the count of three to stop calling me Kenneth before I throw my drink into your face." "Oh wow, so immature Kenneth. Gonna be like mum now and hurt me. Even mum let me call her Margaret." "One Samantha." "Two Kenneth." Dad grabbed onto my hand. "Samantha Lesley Diana Panayiotou, enough is enough now." I didn't understand what was so wrong. "I don't understand why you're so mad. I don't like being called Samantha yet you still call me by it. Kenneth..." He was right he was going to throw his drink at my face. I couldn't stop laughing. Then he took my food away. I wasn't even done. I saw dad still laughing with David. Everyone was basically finished. "Sam, honey come on. Leave your father alone now." "Why? Kenneth is a big boy and can tell me himself." He looked at me and smiled. "KENNETH, KENNETH, KENNETH, KENNETH." "Samantha stop screaming." I saw the looks of concern on their faces. Even papa's demeanor changed. I couldn't tell why. Now everyone focused their attention on me. "Sam, what's wrong?" "Nothing Georgios." Dad grabbed onto my hand again. "Okay come with me." "No I'm not coming. I'm going to eat my dinner Kenneth took from me." "You've lost out on that chance when you wouldn't stop calling me Kenneth." "Dad, Mel, I apologize for this. She's usually not like this." "It's okay Yog, we understand. We're gonna get going though. It's getting late. Yioda is expecting us as well." Dad said a few more things before they left. He left me in the kitchen by myself, well papa was there, but he wasn't paying any attention to me.
I was now in a bothered state. I screamed. "Hey knock it off." "Fuck off Kenneth." He was not happy. "I don't know what your problem is Sam, but the attitude needs to change." "I'm gonna take this tube out." "Oh no you're not!" He came over to me. He grabbed me by my arms. "I don't know what's gotten into you but this needs to stop. You're not a child anymore. You're a god damn adult. So you're gonna act like one." I didn't like him yelling in my face. Yeah I was being an asshole but he didn't need to yell directly in my face. He was at least sitting across from me when I was doing it. "You're not a child anymore. Blah blah blah. I don't care." I screamed again. "Samantha Lesley.." I cut him off. "Diana Panayiotou. I know, I'm annoying you. Kenneth Earl Goss." He smacked me. I looked him right in the eye and smacked him back. "You're being so difficult what is bothering you?" "Stop invading my privacy Kenneth." That earned me another smack. "For each time you call me Kenneth you get a smack. Now quit playing games." "Fine Kenneth I'll tell you what's bothering me." He smacked me upside the head this time. I then felt sick. "I warned you." "I know Kenneth, and honestly I could keep at this all night. So excuse me while I go to the bathroom." He did it again, but this time it was harder. "Why do you need to go to the bathroom. You're fine." I rolled my eyes. "Okay Kenneth, unless you want me to piss on the kitchen floor I'd let me go so I can use the bathroom like a normal person would do." That earned another smack. "Do it. What do I care? How am I supposed to know if you're not gonna go in there and throw up?" "Would you like to watch me take a piss Kenneth? You're more than welcome to do so." I earned another. "Sure I'd be honoured. Let's move it.' "Let go of me Kenneth and I will." What do you know, I got another. He was playing the same game I was. I bet my face was redder than a tomato by now. He let go and followed me to the bathroom. Dad came out of the bathroom. "What are you doing?" "Going go the bathroom dad." Papa was furious. "How come he gets dad and I am still getting Kenneth?" Dad looked at us weirdly. "Sam are you alright?" I looked back to the both of them. "I'd be alright if he stopped following me." "Kenny come on. Leave her be. She's not feeling right and you know what I mean. She's not okay." I knew he was hinting at something. He just sighed as he and dad both left.
I finally had some space to myself. "You can do this Sam." I had to pep talk myself. I went pee, and as soon as I got up I got that friendly urge to throw up. I decided that I was gonna try to ignore it. So I did and went back into the lounge once I was finished. I saw them all stop what they were doing as I entered the room. Papa was sitting beside dad while he was rocking Marlon in his seat. "Stop doing that to my son." "Ah no Kenneth this time? I see you've lightened up a bit." Dad butted in. "Sam I've got a cartoon on for you. Why don't you sit down and watch it?" I huffed. "No, not until Kenneth stops." Dad seemed like he was watching his tone. "Sam, baby he's not doing anything. He's fine." I didn't care. "Yes he is." Dad stopped everything for a moment. "Sam why's your face so red?" I chose not to disclose. "I don't know ask Kenneth." I sat down on the floor, well layed down. Papa wasnt bothered by it anymore. "No I'm asking you." "Kenneth did it, so that's why I told you to ask him." "Alright darling. Just watch the cartoons then." I did.
Halfway through the cartoons I began to choke on my spit. I sat halfway up and tried not to make a huge scene. I was gonna throw up. I just knew I was. "Honey, where are you going?" Dad asked. "I gotta go to the bathroom. I have to pee." He knew I was lying. "You just went not long ago." "Well I have to go again." "I don't know if you're being honest with me." I wasn't lying I did have to pee as well as vomit. "Like I said to papa earlier. Would you like me to piss on the floor?" "No I'd rather you not. How bout you just sit and behave like you were." I wasn't joking either. I had to pee. "Dad, I don't know if you think I'm joking or not but I'll piss on this floor." "You will not or you will be grounded." I screamed in frustration. "Then let me go!" "Fine go, but come right back." I ignored him and went to the bathroom.
I went pee again, then sat in front of the toilet as I always did. I cried a bit as I struggled to keep it down. I didn't want to give into this. I was trying to get better. The struggle I faced was real. I heard a small knock on the door. "Sam, are you in here still?" "Yes now go away Kenneth." He opened the door. Revealing myself to be on the floor. He shut the door behind him. "Sam I know you're struggling, and it's hard. I know it is. Fighting something like this isn't easy." I turned to him. "How do you know? You're dealing with yours fine. You guys took food away from me. You guys starve me, then give me this liquid crap. You expect so much from me, and I can't do it all. I can't." I was ready to throw up now. He seemed shocked. "You know I do understand to some extent. It's just I didn't know how bad you really struggled with this. I didn't know it was this bad Sam. I really didn't." "No one does papa." I struggled to keep the tears back. I then turned to throw up. I tried not to. I tried forcing myself to stop. Then papa came to my level. Sitting on the floor and everything. "Let it go baby. It's okay love." I then threw up as papa held my hair. For not eating a lot I threw up so much. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to do this." No one's ever seen this happen. "Sweetie it's okay. I'm not here to judge. I'm here to help you." I threw up a bit more. It came through my nose this time. "Papa my stomach hurts." I got on my knees to make it easier. "I bet it does sweetheart." I threw up more as someone knocked on the door. "You two okay in there?" I heard dad say. "She's having some difficulties." "Did I eat anything red?" "No you didn't." He held my hair back as I turned to him. He saw my pale, sunken in face. Then dad came into the bathroom. "Oh sweetie what's going on?" "Don't look at me. I'm ugly." He looked confused. "Kenny what's going on?" "She's trying. Don't think she wasn't." He sounded on the verge of tears. "Papa I'm gonna be sick again." I quickly turned back to the toilet. Dad witnessed me throwing up for the first time. Well, purging for the first time. He was worried is all I knew. I mean if my severely underweight daughter was purging again I'd be worried too. I knew how he felt. It was a scary process to endure. "Sweetie don't think I'm mad or anything. I know this is a tough thing to go through." I rested my head on the edge of the bowl.
(Later On That Night)
I was laying on the couch with a cold cloth draped over my forehead. Dad and papa were a little bit worried, but I told them I was fine. It was just a little mess up. They left it as it was. Then they said I should lay down. So I listened to them. I wasn't up for arguing anymore. I still didn't feel right. I had no idea why. Maybe it was just me. Everyone else seemed to be fine. Like I said maybe it was me.
I had no idea what they were watching since I was turned away from the television. I knew it was late, but I didn't know how late. I went to turn around, but was stopped. "This isn't appropriate. for you to be watching." "Dad I just wanna go up to bed." He paused the show, something he didn't usually do. "Alright I'll take you up. Come on then." I grabbed his hand. "Where's my son?" "He's up in his crib don't worry." "Okay I was just making sure. Night Uncle D, night papa. Love yous." "Night darling. Love you." Dad helped me up the stairs. It didn't take us very long, but it felt like it.
I got into my room and saw Marlon's crib set up. He had his little mobile on, and he sounded like he was asleep. Sadie and Dakota were in their playpens long asleep. Dad had gotten my bed set up. I quietly stumbled over to the bed. "Dad, what were you watching?" "Just an older movie. Nothing to it why?" "I don't know. I was just curious." "Alright kiddo. I think you've had enough for tonight. I think you should get some rest." "Daddy I know that. I think you should too." "I know, and trust me we will. Goodnight love you darling." "No wait. Come here for a moment." He came to my bedside. "I love you baby, now please let me go back downstairs." I gave him a kiss. "Alright go downstairs. I love you and will see you in the morning." He left the room. Closing the door tight. Something he never did. I peered over to the cribs to see if they made any sounds. None of them were awake. So I decided to go to bed. There was nothing better for me to do. I fell asleep really fast. It was great.
(3 Hours Later)
I woke up to someone screaming bloody murder, and it wasn't either of the children. They were still asleep. I got out of bed. I went and checked on the kids. Just to make sure they were okay. They were okay. I went out of the room, closing the door behind me. I saw the light on downstairs. That's not where the screams were coming from. The t.v. was on downstairs, but the screams were coming from David's room. So I went to investigate. I heard the scream again when I was outside of his door. I knocked, but I just heard another blood curdling scream. I turned the knob to get nothing. It was locked. I knew dad kept the key on top of the door frame. I reached up to find the key missing. So then I went over to dad's door. Thankfully it was unlocked. Dad turned the lamp on. I saw papa in bed with him. I was shocked. "What's the matter sweetie?" "Do you not hear those god awful screams?" "I didn't hear them. The keys on my dresser. Go check on him." "Alright, but if I need you you're gonna have to get up. I'm sorry but it's gonna have to happen." "I know kiddo. Now go check on your uncle." I shut his door. Then I went back over to David's door and unlocked it. Once I opened it I saw the horrors of what was going on. There was blood everywhere, and David was on the bed laying there screaming. "Oh God no. David what happened?" He sat up. "I don't know. One moment I'm asleep laying in my bed, then the next I wake up to someone in here. They're still here." I came over to the side of his bed and turned on the lamp. I only saw blood from the hall light. I saw what really was there. I was stepping in all of the blood. "David who did this to you?" I then heard the door slam. "DAD!" David was in pain. "Baby shh." I then turned around. I saw Fadi. "Oh no, not you. Why can't you leave this family alone?" He came over to me. "I didn't do this. He did." He pointed to a strange man in the corner of the room. "Sam, now don't move. If you do he's gonna attack our son." "Our son? How bout more like my son. What are you guys even doing here? Why did you hurt him?" "He was gonna go warn your father. Fadi didn't do anything here. He's just here to see his son and leave. David here was just in the god damn way. I didn't hurt him too bad." "Who are you?" David grabbed my hand. "It's Emmanuel. I've called.." I felt the blood dripping off onto the floor. "David we're gonna get help." "No, you're not. I plan on not leaving behind any witnesses." "Whoa wait a minute here. What did you even do to my Uncle?" "I stabbed him in the side, and in the other side." David choked on some blood. I was afraid to see him like this. I was afraid he wasn't gonna make it. Everyone was spooked by the sirens wailing in the background. "Who called the cops?" I was freaking out. "What are you doing here? Why him? Why not me, huh?" I let go of his hand and walked towards this Emmanuel. "Sammy!" He grabbed me by the wrist. I spit in his face, he stabbed me in the side. "Not today buddy." I tried grabbing the knife, and only ended up slicing my hand. "Fuck!" He laughed in my face. "You two are such fighters. I guess I'm gonna have to kill yous." "Sure, now get on with it. You can't kill us. You're such a coward. You wouldn't kill us. You can't." There was a loud bang on the door. "Police! Open the door now!" Fadi was terrified, and I saw Emmanuel shakin' in his boots. "See told ya." I walked back towards David. The door was broken down. I saw dad trying to get another look into the room. "Sam! Baby I'm here!" "I'm okay dad. I really am." David grabbed me. We saw both Fadi and Emmanuel get arrested. "Ma'am you and the gentleman need to go to the hospital. We need you both to get checked out. I can see blood." I looked down to my hand. "Oh shit." I backed up towards David. He pulled me onto the bed. "Sam you're bleeding too." He was now breathing heavily. Dad was freaking out. "Sir, we need you to calm down. This room is now evidence to a crime. You cannot enter the room." "But my daughter and partner! They're bleeding! Sammy I'm trying." "Daddy it's okay. We're okay. I love you." He was freaking out as the paramedics came in. "Ma'am could you climb onto the gurney?" I grabbed their hand. "Gus, she's got a wound on her right hand." "Alright, noted Molly." I was on the gurney now. David was now getting onto his own gurney. "George I'm alright. Just a little mishap." Dad was in tears. "David you're not okay. You're bleeding." David laughed a bit before he laid down. The lady paramedic turned to dad. "Are you gonna ride with either victim?" "Yes, just hold on." Dad said something to papa. Then he came down the hall as they were taking us down. "Sammy I should have went in there. I didn't think he was that hurt. David, I'm sorry I didn't come." David smiled. "George it's alright. We're okay baby." Dad didn't believe it. We were now being put into the back of an ambulance. "Sam, my love. We're gonna get through this." "Daddy I know we will. We always do." Dad was just beside himself. I knew he blamed himself for this, and honestly there's nothing he could do. This wasn't his fault. This was my fault.
~
I was stitched up and okay. They let me go after a few hours of observation. David however was being closely monitored. His heart wasn't taking well to it. I mean for a seventy year old man I don't think his heart could've taken it. The doctor's think he had a mild heart attack from the stress of the situation. They didn't have those results back yet. And as weird as this situation may have been, and how rare it were to have occurred. David was still his old happy self. He wasn't pointing fingers at anyone. There was no blame. What happened, happened and that was it. David was just David. He wasn't mad. He was fairly upset at me for going to attack the guy, but he was very understanding to why I did it. My son's life was at stake. I had to risk it all. I wasn't losing my son. Nor was I losing an Uncle. Dad was so overwhelmed with this he had to take a break. He was asleep on a chair. The doctors gave him a pill to calm his nerves, so he was gonna be out for a while.
I was holding Uncle David's hand the whole time. He asked if it was okay, and I said of course it was. He then gave me that beautiful smile of his that could melt your heart. "Sam, thank you for saving my life." He was choking up now. "David I would do anything for you, even if it meant taking my own life because of a horrible man. You're one of the most important men in my life. I'd take a fall, take another shot for you. I'd give my life for any of you in that house." He didn't hold back those tears. "Sam I know you would, and for that I'm very thankful. An old man like me can't express enough of how much you mean to me. You know my only sister was once my best friend. She was the only one who kept me on this earth until I met your father, then I had a purpose. When my sister started to have children I thought I'd have a special bond with each of them, but Jenny and Jesse weren't really keen on it. They seemed more afraid of Uncle D then anything, and I never really met Elliot since he was always with his father. When your father told me he and your mother were expecting I was ecstatic. My two best friends coming together to create the most perfect angel on that ever walked this earth was the best thing they ever did." He paused to take a breath. " I was silent so he could finish his statements. "When you were born, I was one of the first ones to hold you. You looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes of yours and I knew we had a connection. Em was only eleven months when you were born, and I loved her of course, but even she knew we had a connection. Auntie Iman was jealous of our relationships. When I lost Em, you were the one who brought me back to this world. You grounded me, and kept me sane. I'm apart of your life as you are with mine, and I couldn't ask for a better person to live the rest of my life with. I don't want marriage or a diamond ring because I could have as many of those as I pleased, but I can never have another you. I don't want another you, and if you were to have died tonight, I never would have forgiven myself. You did something incredible tonight whether you see it or not, but you've given more purpose to this old man's life. You bring me more than happiness in this world, and I'm not even your father. So Sammy, thank you for bringing me the best eighteen years you could have ever given a man." I would be lying if I told you I wasn't crying. That was one of the most beautiful-est things someone's ever said to me. "Uncle David, I'm happy to be apart of your life as well. I may not be a very smart young lady, but I do understand the love yous are showing me. I can feel how genuine you are when you speak. I love you and am very thankful to have gotten these eighteen years, and now am waiting for the next twenty to be even better. You know the golden years. Now let's not sound like we're saying good-bye, let's sound like we're gonna spend the rest of our days together. I love you David, til the end of time." "You're right cause I'm not dying, and you know I'll be there for you as the world falls down, til the end of time. I love you Samantha and I love your father very much." "And we love you like no other. I love you." I smiled as he kissed my hand.
~
Dad was finally awake after a few hours. He didn't know how to start the conversation with either of us, so he stayed silent for a while. He sat there and looked like he was in a lot of pain. David on the other hand was still smiling. Even after the results came back to tell him he indeed did have a mild heart attack. Aside from the stab wounds, that explained his blood curdling screams. He told me he felt no pain, and that he was fine. He was set to be released in an hour. Papa was coming to pick the three of us up, and told us the police have finished in the home. So he had cleaned most of David's room, and threw the blankets and that out because he tried washing them, but nothing seemed to be coming out.
David broke the ice between dad and I. "George what's been bothering you?" "Well there's a lot that's been bothering me lately. Now that you and my daughter have been both injured, and I haven't been able to process it. I was in bed sleeping and didn't think anything of it. I don't know why I didn't get up when she asked me to. I feel so awful. I could've prevented this." David grabbed his hand. "No you couldn't have. You weren't the intended target, nor was I. She was, and the baby. They just came up to the wrong room. So be thankful it wasn't as bad as it was intended to be." "I am thankful it wasn't bad, but it caused distress to you." David kissed his hand. "Yes, but I'm better now. We can go home and live peacefully once they release me." Dad smiled a bit.
We were interrupted by the doctor coming in. "Hello Mr. Jones, Mr. Panayiotou. How are you feeling?" "I'm alright, am I allowed to go home?" The doctor sat down in a chair. "I think you are. I know tonight's been fairly hard for the three of you, and I'm glad to say you can go home. I've given both of you some pain killers to ease the pain of the wounds." "Thanks doc." "No problem Mr. Jones. Enjoy the rest of your night, well morning." "You as well." As the doctor exited the room Papa came hurdling in with the three kids. "Hey guys, sorry I couldn't leave them home. I couldn't find anyone to watch them this early." I got up as did they. "It's alright Kenny, we're coming home now anyways." "Oh that's good." "Yeah I guess you could say that." We then left the hospital.
We were in the parking lot now. Dad helped David into the van as I stood there watching papa put the kids in. He then looked up to see me standing there shivering. "You can get in the van ya know." I was in a panic ridden state, and I didn't know what to do. It was the early morning hours, so about five or six am. Something weird like that. "I have to..." "You have to what?" He asked. "I have to pee." "Why didn't you go before we left the hospital?" "I don't know. I didn't really have to go." "What changed from there to now?" Dad climbed in the van. Papa came over to my side. "I'm gonna help you in." "I need to go." "You can go when we get home." "Dad I need to go." He reached out for my hand. I grabbed it. "Come on darling. We're not far away from home." I got seated and papa placed the seat belt around me. Dad buckled it since I wasn't cooperating. Then he slid the door shut.
(Home)
We were finally home and I finally could pee. I got out of the van and saw camera men everywhere. "Dad!" He got out and stood in front of me. "I would like to ask you all to please leave. This is very inconsiderable of you all. You're invading our privacy." They held their cameras down. I then went into the house. I went faster than the rest of them. Only cause I needed to pee. I heard them come in. "Sam if you want you can go back to bed." "I think I'm fine. Yous go back to bed." "No we don't want to." I sighed, then came out of the bathroom. Papa was on the other side of the door. "Well what a surprise." "Not really, just was checkin' in on you." "Oh alright. Where is dad?" "He's in the lounge. The kids are still asleep and David's resting on the couch again." "Can you help me up to the bathroom?" "You're in one right now." I scoffed. "I need to shower." "Not at six a.m." "Would you like me to start calling you Kenneth again?" He held his head. "No I wouldn't like that. Why do you need a shower?" I looked over to him. "Because I need one. Does there have to be a reason?" "No, I guess not." "Then will you help me?" "I guess so." I felt a small pain in my side. He helped me up to the upstairs bathroom. I let go of him once I got into the bathroom. "You need anything else before I go?" "Not that I can think of. I won't be that long." "Alright behave and don't do anything stupid." I rolled my eyes as I shut the door. I made my way around and then decided getting in the shower was the best. I got in and the feeling of the hot water was nice. I decided to sit down since I could barely stand. I was in there for a while. I decided to lay back a bit. I was tired after all. I fell asleep in the bathtub while the warm water hit my side.
"Sam you know there's water over flowing onto the floor?" I didn't wake up right away. Then I felt the water stop. "Jesus you need to stop falling asleep in the bathtub. Come on and get up. Did you even wash yourself?" "I did Kenneth." "Okay well why are you asleep in the bathtub? " "I was tired I guess." "Thought you weren't tired?" "Things change papa. People change." "Did you need any help?" "I guess." He came back over to the tub. "You gotta stop falling asleep in the tub. It's how drowning happens." "There wasn't that much water in the tub." He placed the towel around me. I then placed one around my hair. "I'd beg to differ Sam. Look at the water on the floor." I stepped out. The towel was soaked. "What time is it?" "Close to eleven." "A.m.?" He chuckled as he followed me into my room. "Yeah kid, you were in there for about five hours. We all were dozing off. We forgot until we heard the water running, then I realized you were still in the shower." I sighed as I sat on my bed. "Well I can get dressed myself so thanks for the concern." He got up. "Come down when you're finished. Breakfast is ready." "Okay Kenneth." He scoffed as he exited the room. I got dressed. Then decided to go downstairs again.
I went into the kitchen to see papa and dad cooking something. I wasn't in the best of moods again. "I'm informing you right now that I will not be eating. So don't even think of forcing me to eat any of that." "Why don't you want pancakes?" "I'm not hungry." Papa intervened. "Well then you're gonna have your food through that god damn tube whether you want it or not." "Alright Kenneth, two can play this game. You wanna force me to eat I'll continue calling you Kenneth." He snapped. "You keep calling me fuckin' Kenneth I'll smack you so hard you'll forget my first name was Kenneth." Dad turned to the both of us. "Do it. I'd like to see it." I said as dad shook his head. "Will you two knock it off. Samantha stop antagonizing your poor father, and Kenny stop threatening her with violence." He stopped bothering me. I didn't want to stop bothering him though. "Sam are you eating or not?" "Didn't you hear me when I said I wasn't." He came and stood in front of me on the other side of the table. "Yeah I did. I was just making sure you were being serious or not. You seem to be in a mood again." "I am not Georgios." He looked at his watch, then back at me. "I'm gonna give you some food, and I expect you to eat it. If you don't then you're getting the tube." "Oh look at you Georgios. Threatening seems to run in the family. You gonna follow in Kenneth's footsteps? Be original man." "I am being original kid. Now eat your pancakes." I mocked him as I tried to eat my pancakes. I noticed papa was staring at me yet again. "How come every time I eat yous have to fuckin' watch me? Like I'm not going to fuckin' throw up on the table." Dad saw I was annoyed. "Listen we'd rather you not do that." I didn't let him finish at first. "Well I can if you really want to." Dad rolled his eyes as he had a plate in his hand ready to go to the lounge for David. "I'd prefer if you wouldn't. Now behave yourself and eat. I'm going to keep your uncle company." "I will Georgios." Dad just laughed as he exited the kitchen. Then papa sat at the table.
He was eating his own food before he started at me again. "You know acting like this isn't going to get you anywhere. I don't understand what your problem is lately kid." "Nothing is wrong with me. You just seem to think so." "I know you're not fine. You've been acting strange. A normal Sam would never call either dad or I by our first names. You have more respect than that." I mean he was right. Maybe it was something going on in my brain. Maybe it was a chemical imbalance. "Kenneth, you may be right, but honestly I'm fine. I think you should stop messing with me and just leave me alone." "Are you still on cocaine?" "What kind of fucking question is that Kenneth?" I mean here and there I'd still do some when I could, but I haven't done it in a few days so I don't understand his issue. "Samantha, enough is enough. You address me properly or don't at all." "I can go without talking to you. Saves my breath." He smacked me pretty hard. You could say that I deserved it. I had to catch my breath. The stress was making me feel very odd and queasy. "I can throw up on this table if you'd like to keep smacking me Kenneth. I'm ready for another smack." "You throw up this table it'll be the last time you ever thought of doing it." He paused noticing I was chuckling. "I'll give you another fucking smack if that's what you want." "Fucking do it!" I threw my cup across the room. I was now in a worse mood. "Stop fucking around Samantha." We stopped when we heard dad yell. "Behave you two!" Papa said something smart to assure dad we were. Dad then ignored us. "Pick that up." "Pick that up. Do this, do that! Fuck off!" He smacked me harder this time. That only enraged me more. I threw my plate too. Abby was now in here. She sensed something was wrong. "Smack me again Kenneth and I'll fucking rip this god damn tube out, and if you think I'm joking. Well test me and you'll fucking see." "You're only hurting yourself." "I DON'T FUCKING CARE!" He came around the table once I got up. Then I backed away from him as I was about to pull it out. "Don't you fucking dare!" I went to do it. Then he decided to come over and grab my arms. I screamed. "Let me go! You're hurting me!" He didn't let me go. "Dad!" "Yous two better get along in there before I come in there." Abby started barking at us. I was getting annoyed. I bit papa. That made him let go of me real fast. I then began to pull the tube out. "Out smarted you Kenneth." I then back into something, well that something was someone, and that someone was dad. I managed to get it out. It made me feel weird. "Go and clean up the mess off the floor Samantha." I went over and picked up the cup and plate. I brushed passed papa. I placed them in the sink. I saw dad holding my feeding tube. "You don't understand George how tough this was." Dad sighed. "I didn't think yous were fighting to this extent. Sam why are you so angry?" "I want my fucking drugs. I don't wanna live anymore. This is already hell. I can't fucking live without being taunted and that. I'm sick of being alive. No one will leave me alone." Dad let out this huge breath. "The only drugs you're having is the ones that are making your cancer go away, and that's it. You're fine darling. You just need to go rest." "No!" "Calm down and go see your Uncle." I stormed off into the lounge. I heard him and papa discussing something.
I saw David laying on the couch. "David I want my cocaine back." He seemed shocked. "That's not going to happen." "Why can't any of you let me live my life? You say act like an adult, and when I fucking do you guys don't let me do it." He sat up. "Doing drugs is not a choice." "It's an adult choice. Mum was an adult. I'm one too. So give me back my fucking drugs. I won't be in any pain." He looked intrigued now. "Sam are you in any pain?" "Yeah I am in a lot of fuckin' pain. No one cares." "I do. Where is the pain?" I wasn't lying about the pain. "My whole fucking body." He pulled me onto the couch. Abby got up there too. "Listen to me, and listen good. I understand where you're coming from with being in pain and wanting to use drugs to cope, but that's unhealthy. We were giving you pain killers in the tube, but now you've gone and torn it out. Which means when a nurse comes into check on you in the next day or so you're gonna have to have it put back in." "No we're not. I'm not doing any of this. I'm sick and tired of everyone thinking just because I'm sick that they get to dictate my life." David sat up a bit now. "Is that why you're so upset? You think we're controlling you?" "Not necessarily. I just think I should be able to make my own decisions." Dad and papa came in. Dad had heard what I said. "Sam ifwe let you make your own decisions you'd be dead right now. You pulled out your tube, and then are now wanting to use drugs. I don't think those are very smart adult decisions. Everyone else can agree with me on that." Then before I got to speak papa started. "As well you're acting like a child. Children don't make decisions for themselves. If you want to be treated like the adult you are then start acting like one. Honestly if you keep going you're gonna end up dead and your fucking son is gonna be motherless. You love your son don't you?" That hurt me. "I love him more than anything in this world." "Then start acting like you do because this path is not the right one." I knew he was right, but it was making me more upset than I already was. Upset in the fact that I was now crying my eyes out.
~
After my little meltdown dad called the nurse to come over to put my tube in, and she did. She told me if I pulled it out again it could be potentially dangerous so she recommended me to not do it. I pretended to listen as I was exhausted. I didn't wanna talk to anyone because if I did they'd probably yell at me. So I just sat on the couch with Abby and held my son. He was very happy, and that made me happy. I was interrupted by dad. "Darling, now before you go and call every one by their first names I want you to listen." I turned to him. "Alright go ahead." He sat down at my feet. "I think it's best if you stopped eating regular food for now. I also think you need to tell me what's going on in your mind, and why you've been so upset lately." I didn't really have an idea. I just was tired. "Well I think that it's not fair, but there's no point in arguing if I'm only wasting my breath. I'm in a lot of pain dad, and I'm struggling to cope with this. Yous expect so much from me. Then when I do something wrong it's like I've commited the biggest sin out there." He struggled to hold back the tears. "I know you're in pain. All I expect from you is to take care of Marlon, and to take care of yourself. I do admit we tend to be harsh when you've done something wrong, and for that we can change and we're sorry. Just know we only do these things because we care and we love you so much. We just want the best, and I honestly just don't want to lose the best thing that's ever happened to me. To see you in this much pain and agony kills. It honestly hurts me to see you like this." "I'm sorry that I've caused all of you pain. And I'm sorry that I've been calling you guys by your first names. I'm just struggling too. I don't mean to do anything to hurt yous. I love you all so much." He hugged me. Then papa came in. "Sweetie it's not that we're mad. We knew something was up. We just wanted to help. We love you more than anything." I couldn't help but cry. I knew that wasn't supposed to make me cry, but it did. "I can try to be a better person." I said through sobs. "Sweetie we just want you to be you. So don't change yourself because you think that's what would make things work. Just be a little more calm, and not so angry at the world. I know things aren't the best, but make them the best." "Okay dad." I held Marlon close as he started to cry.
~
I was now watching some crime program with dad. Something we enjoyed watching together time after time. I didn't mind because it gave me time to cool down, and time to spend with dad. They had their lunch and just left me alone. I was force fed again, but what else is new. I didn't really care at the moment since I was content with dad. The only time someone made conversation was when they were handling the babies. So it didn't bother me. It was almost time for bed again which was great for me. I didn't want to be awake any more. The day had been tough for me. So I deserved to be asleep. I got off the couch and moved into the hallway. "Where you going missy?" "Bed, I'm tired." "Goodness Sam, it's only ten." "So, I'm tired." "Alright, well when you're up at six a.m. don't come crawling to me." "Oh stop. Goodnight, love you." "Goodnight sweetie. Love you." I then brought Marlon up with me.
When I got to my room I saw Abby laying on my bed. I placed Marlon in his crib. She was wagging her tail at me. "Hi Abby." She anxiously awaited for me. I went to my drawer and pulled out my bottle of vodka. "This is our little secret Abigail." She licked my face as I sat down on the bed. I drank as I watched something on the television. I didn't realize how loud it was until papa came into the room. "Hey kiddo this is a bit too loud. Is it okay if I turn it down from here?" "Sure be my guest." He turned it down a bit. "What are you watching?" "Some weird show. I have no idea. I don't remember anymore." He saw me clutching onto something under the blanket. It was my half empty vodka bottle. "What are you holding onto for dear life under the blanket?" I giggled then hiccuped. Abby licked my hand. "It's just the remote." He seemed more intrigued as I took a sip from the glass beside my bed. That's where I kept my drink. "Are you sure about that? What are drinking?" "Why must you ask so many questions Kenneth?" He rolled his eyes at me. "Enough now. Why can't you be honest with me?" "I am being honest with you. I am just wondering why you must ask me so many questions man. Like holy guacamole." He came over. "Come any closer and I'll throw the next object I find." He hesitated. "Alright, but you don't sound right." I mocked him. He just left me alone and went out of the room. He didn't shut the door fully. That annoyed me. I poured the rest of my vodka into my cup.
I got out of the bed to go put the bottle away. I was a little tipsy. I was startled by someone. "You've been drinking I see." I scoffed as I placed the bottle in my closet. "In your dreams. What do you want?" "Don't talk to me like that. I'm not a piece of trash." I turned around to see dad and David standing there. "Why are you so concerned about me?" "We're supposed to be concerned about you. Why are you drunk?" "You're just like papa. Asking me so many god damn questions. I'm drunk because I can be." "I thought you were going to bed?" He now had his hands on his hips. Being all sassy and that. "Dad I can multitask. Plus it's helping me go to bed." I yawned. "See I'm tired." He just shook his head. "Alright darling. Lay down in your bed and go to sleep please. It's well needed, and I don't want to be up all night worrying about you." "You won't be if I'm asleep." I tripped hitting my head on the night table. "See this is why I'm worried." He came over and helped me up. "Dad I'm fine." "You don't look fine. Now get into bed, and no more drinking." I climbed under my blankets as did Abby. Dad kissed my cheek. "No more drinking. I love you and will see you in the morning." "Love you too dad. Love you Uncle D." David chuckled. "I love you too kiddo. Get some rest." They left after shutting my lights off.
~
I woke up to Marlon crying and thunder rolling. Great, just what I needed, not. I had a huge head ache, and wasn't up for this. I checked my phone to see it was close to four in the morning. I went over to grab Marlon, but he wasn't there. I heard someone shushing him on the monitor. I knew he was probably with dad or something. I then went off to the bathroom. Someone was up or so it seemed. I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon. After I went to the bathroom I decided to go down to get something to eat. When I arrived I saw papa sitting on a chair drinking out of a bottle. I don't think I was supposed to see this.
Papa was crying and I hated seeing him like this. I mean I was probably the reasoning behind this. I was such an ass lately. "Papa is everything okay?" I came around to the cupboard to grab some snack food. "I'm alright Sam. Just having some personal issues. What are you doing down here?" "Thunder storm has got me awake. Where's Marlon?" He sighed. "In with your father. Come sit down and eat. If you're gonna feed into your habit then join the party." I went and sat down with him. "What's been bothering you papa?" "Oh the same old. What about you?" "I would say the same. You won't tell dad will you?" "No your secret is safe with me." I began to eat as he continued drinking. "What does that do for you kid? I know it gives you that weird satisfaction of throwing up, but like why waste food?" "Well oddly enough as it sounds I don't enjoy throwing up, but I do however enjoy eating it. The food not my throw up. It's just how my brain works I guess." He chuckled. "I know you don't enjoy eating your throw up. I just wanted to know what sparks the fuel in your brain after you eat all of this." "My mental health I suppose." He nodded as he took another swig. "I don't want you to think that you're doing anything wrong either. This is a night we both can indulge in secret." I smiled as I choked on my spit. He rubbed my back. I was almost finished eating and he was almost finished drinking that bottle. "Papa I'm gonna be sick." He got up and grabbed the garbage bin. I tried to throw up quietly. We were startled by someone. "What's going on here?" "Nothing is going on. She just got drunk, and is now too drunk." David nodded. "I know what's going on. I won't say anything." Both papa and I looked up at him. "David it's honestly not what it looks like." He chuckled. He seemed a little off. "I'm drunk enough, but am not stupid. I can see the food wrappers. I won't tell George okay. Just relax you two." That gave me hope as I kept throwing up.
I finished about ten minutes after. "Sam what's bothering you tonight baby?" "The thunder, but I've just been feeling really low." "Yeah I guess it's that season. I've been feeling pretty shitty too. You haven't been cutting have you?" "No not really. Just been binge drinkin' and eatin'." He gave me a half smile. "Okay, well don't be doing either." "I know." He took a drink out of his glass. I knew he was a bit concerned. I just didn't know what exactly to do. "How bout you come up with dad and I and go back to bed?" "I'm not tired Uncle David." Before I could argue papa said something. "I'll take her to bed. Don't worry about it." "Alright well get up there soon before George starts to worry. He sent me down here cause he heard talking. He's a wreck sometimes." "Oh yeah I know. We're gonna go up now, so he doesn't need to worry." "Alright then let's go up together." Papa helped me off the chair, then we went up. David made sure we got into bed fine, then he went back to dad. Abby was asleep on the foot of my bed. "Sam do you need any water before we go to bed?" "No papa I'm fine. Do you?" "No I can handle it." I smiled as he shut the door to my room. "You gonna be okay?" "Yeah I just wish the rain would go away. The thunder scares me some." "I know it does. Lay down and we'll get some rest.""Okay papa. I love you." "I love you too baby." He then shut the lamp off. I fell asleep pretty fast.
(An Hour Later)
I woke up again, but this time it was to throw up. It hurt a lot. Abby was lucky she moved since it got on my bed. I was choking too. Probably on my vomit. I began to throw up when I was laying down. "Sam what's going on?" He felt around to see where I was, and I'm assuming he stuck his hand in my vomit accidentally. "Jesus, are you okay?" He went to turn on the lamp." "No! Don't turn the lamp on." I was relapsing again. I knew I was. "Okay kiddo come on. You need to throw up in the trash. Oh god, it's everywhere. I'm gonna go get dad." "No! He's gonna freak out." Then we were startled by him. "It's alright Sam. It looks like we're having vomit fest in here. What the hell happened?" I couldn't stop. I was upset as usual. Throwing up was gross. "Daddy I don't know. I woke up and started. Well I was sleeping, then I threw up." He came over. "I can see, and why didn't you grab the bin?" I sighed. "Did you expect me to find it in the dark as I'm throwing up? It would have went all over papa and the dog." Dad smirked. "I'm surprised it hasn't. Come on now and get up. I'll clean this up while you shower." Papa then handed me the garbage bin. I threw up some more. He and dad began putting the blanket in a bag so they could take it down to the laundry room later. I sat there for another five minutes throwing up whatever it was I was throwing up. Dad came over. "Sam it's alright. Come on and go shower. You'll feel much better." Then he looked in the bin for some reason. "Kenny when did we give her meds and food last?" Papa seemed puzzled. "George I think like around seven thirty last night. Why?" "Because she's throwing it all back up. What am I gonna do?" Papa came back over to us. "There's nothing at the moment. Just take her to the shower okay. I'll handle this." He then got me out of bed and took me to the bathroom.
He ran the water for me. I stared at him. He was in the linen closet. Probably grabbing me towels. I then pulled the thing up that makes it into a shower as I closed the curtain. He came back with two towels. "Go on now and get in, and please do not throw up in my bathtub." "Dad I ain't gonna throw up in the tub. Now go so I can shower." "You're not showering alone. Not after we forgot you." I rolled my eyes. "Then please, just please wait in my bedroom or something. I need my own space." "You should have thought about that before you fell asleep in here like three times." I mean he wasn't wrong, but I wasn't tired. "Dad please. I don't ask you for a lot. So will you give me a few minutes. I only need to wash my body." "I'll be back in five minutes, and if you're asleep so help me." I ignored him as I got into the shower. The water was nice and warm. No wonder why I always fell asleep in here. It was so comfortable. As I washed my body I began to close my eyes. "Sam you awake?" "Yes dad, I'm awake. Now leave.." I felt very faint, so I shut the water off. "Can you pass me my towel?" I said as I peaked out from the curtain. He tossed it over. I wrapped myself up and then got out. "Dad go back to sleep. You look like hell." He grabbed my cheek. "Thanks kiddo. I've got to make sure yous are all okay." "I'm fine now." He looked at me weirdly. "Well, it doesn't appear that way." I was fine. He just wanted to argue. I could tell. I really didn't want to argue. I needed him to go back to sleep. "Dad please, I'm gonna go back to bed." "Come to my room then." "Dad I'm gonna stay in my room." "No you're coming in my room." I quietly got dressed.
Once I was dressed and all dried off dad grabbed onto my arm. It hurt a bit. "Dad you're hurting me." He looked at me. "Well come on then." I followed him. He led me to his room. Still having a tight grip onto me. "Let go of me!" "I will once you get into the bed." I saw papa in dad's room too. "I'll let go now." I then climbed into his bed. "Papa what are you doing in here?" "I'm not sleeping in your bed, and David's room is still covered in blood, so here I am." I just got into the bed and under the covers beside David. "Move over to my side. I want you to lay with me." He was not in the mood to disobey right now. I moved to his side. "Over more." "Dad I'd be on top of you if that was the case." He sighed. "I just want you. Is there a problem with that?" "No dad I don't think so anyways." He then wrapped his arm around me. I mean I didn't mind it. We fell asleep after that for a while.
I didn't know whether or not I was gonna make it through. I was relapsing and was afraid. I didn't know how I was gonna get through the rest of the month. It was gonna be tough. Dad might not be too thrilled when he finds out, but like he's always said, I gotta have faith. If not who knows where I might end up after all.