|Nikita|
Dear Virat,
I did it! I can't believe but i did it without you! How difficult it was for me to do this when you were not there to hold my hand when i was screaming in pain. The moment when doctors were telling me to push with all my strength i wish you were there to calm me down. But atlast it's all over now.
Naira is here. Our daughter Virat! You know what looking at her face makes me forget all the pain i had gone through in this one year. She came as a ray of hope in my life when i almost had given up on living. Earlier i was just surviving but for her i am living.
You are a father Virat! Yes you are! Trust me all i want to do is scream this aloud until it reaches to your ears. Our 3 month angel is lying right next to me curled up like a ball and whenever i look at her it reminds me of the times we spent in each other's arms. Every step you took back burnt an inch of my soul, i was descending bit by bit when you let go. Only if you knew what burnt my heart; you would have stayed and never been apart.
I miss you! I know i have said it more than a thousand times still it won't be enough. I wish you were here to see her face first. I am scared Virat! What will i say when she'll grow up and ask me 'Where's my father?'. She is the one who still awakes the hope in me that you'll come and hopefully everything would be fine! I wish! I wish Virat! A year had passed missing you like this Virat!
Another day. Another draft.
It was after Naira came that i wrote something.
One year! One year without him.
Nothing in this world can compare to the amount of how much i missed him. I could feel it in my bones; i missed him. Only if i could do anything.
It's been 3 months i was back from hospital with my daughter Naira. Anusha being a true friend was the only one stuck by my side through all this. Maa insisted to come but i stopped her. I knew i would be weak if she were here. How badly i wished only if Virat could see her, hold her, spoil her by giving all she ever wanted.
I looked at Naira kissing her forehead. She was too little. Thinking what it would be like when she'll call me mummy, when she'll walk all by herself gave me goosebumps every time.
"Niki!" Anusha came hugging me from behind.
I had become all emotional.
"I don't know what i would have done if you weren't here!" I wiped off my tears.
"Now forget all this! And see naira! She is you! Your future your everything! She is so cutee niki!" She kissed her cheeks.
Her eyes were copy of Virat. Her every move reminded me of him.
"What will i say her anusha! Who's her father? Where's he?" The only thing that bothered me since she came in this world, in my life.
"Time heals everything niks!" She replied.
I didn't wanted to heal from his memories ever.
"May be!" I lied.
How could i heal from someone i loved from all my heart? When someone hurt you it doesn't mean you'll stop loving them. Sometimes some things are just meant to happen. Mistakes happen and some times it leads to that phase where coming back is a little more difficult. But i couldn't lose hope. Losing hope meant losing him; which i can't afford ever.
"You stay here with naira! I'll just make breakfast!" I stood up from bed kissing her once again.
She was my life now.
I called Hardik and told him about Naira. His excitement was too hard to handle. I was happy, atleast someone who was close to Virat knew everything.
I was in kitchen taking out something from fridge when the door bell rang.
I walked towards the door tying my hair in a bun and opened it.
Everything stopped.
I was shocked would be an understatemnet to this.
Was this even real?
I stood there frozen staring him with all my heart, my soul.
Virat! It was Virat!
My Virat!
I stood there like a statue looking at him, his eyes, his face , his lips, just everything. He doesn't seem fine. His eyes could tell he hasn't slept for years. His face was pale. His eyes boring into mine making me difficult to even maintain my standing position.
I could stare at him like this forever.
Our eyes locked doing the talking, there was no room for words.
Tears found their way. One freaking year without seeing his adorable face. My hands found their way to his face to see if this was even real. Shakily i reached his face and touched him after a year and that was my breaking point.
I stepped backward still not able to digest he was here, right here in front of me.
He came inside, his eyes never leaving mine. I couldn't control my tears. He kept on staring, admiring every corner of my face. I did the same.
Emotions were same. Amount of love was same.
I cried.
He fell down on his knees and broke down.
He cried and cried hard. For the first time i saw him crying like this.
"Forgive me! Forgive me niku! I hate myself! I just hate myself!" He finally said something in between the cries.
His voice made me shiver just the way it used to a year back. Nothing had changed apart from the distance that separated and made us suffer
I sat down holding his hands kissing them. I wanted to feel every inch of him.
My heart desired more of him, all of him. I couldn't let him go now.
"Slap me niku! Do whatever you want! I am your culprit! I lost you niku! I lost myself! I lost us! I lost everything!" He took out all he was carrying while crying.
"Shhhhh!" I placed my lips on his before he could blame himself more.
He was to be blamed but all that mattered to me was that he was in front of me after a year. I could curse him later but for now i wanted to feel all of him.
I kissed him. It took no second for him to respond back with all his strength. Our tears got mixed just like our soul. His hands roamed around my body feeling every curve. My hands reached his neck holding him tightly. I wanted to hold him like this forever.
I knew it was the same from him. It all came in that one kiss that we missed in a year. His touch, his eyes on me; i craved for this.
"I love you!" He said continuing the kiss.
His dominance made me realize he was not gonna leave me any soon neither i wanted him to.
We were running out of breaths still he didn't stopped exploring my mouth.
I kissed his eyes, his cheeks, his lips once again.
I missed everything!
He held my hands still crying like a baby.
"Let me say niku! Please let me say how miserable this one year was without you!" He stood up cupping my face touching his forehead with mine.
"I hate myself for letting you go like this, for blaming you for the thing that you never did, it's all my fault. All mine! My anger overpowered everything niku and i lost you!"
"This one year made me realize am nothing without you! I drowned myself into alcohol to find an escape but nothing, nothing could make me forget you! Cricket, my passion went far away from me. All i wanted was to find you and tell you how guilty i am"
He kept on saying; he kept on crying.
My heart fluttered with every word of his.
"I swear i would've died if Hardik hadn't told me about you"
I hugged him tightly in between the sobs. I wasn't in a state to say anything. All i could see was he was here. My love, my everything who was more than guilty of whatever happened between us.
He held me in his embrace and i melt in those arms.
His hold on my waist telling me how much he missed me, how much he wanted me.
"Virat, the thought that you might be never here scared me every night! Why you came so late? Why? Virat!" I buried myself in his chest.
It was long. I couldn't be away from him.
"I know sorry won't be enough for this but i want you to know I missed you! I missed your face, your smile, your scent, your touch, everything baby! Forgive me please!" He said kissing my hairs.
The moment was precious.
Felt like the old 'us' were getting back now.
We stood there hugging each other when suddenly anusha came from inside holding my girl.
Naira! God!
I was so overwhelmed seeing Virat that i forgot she was still unknown to him.
"Niks! Yaar dekh naa Naira is crying bhot der se!" She came and looked at the man standing right next to me engulfing me in his arms.
"Vi-virat!" Her words came out as mumble.
She looked at me, at naira then at Virat not knowing what was appropriate to say at this point of time.
I took a deep breath.
This was the time a father needs to know about his daughter.
"Virat! Will you hold her?" I took naira from anusha and she disappeared from the room within a second.
Virat's face held a state of confusion.
"Who's she?" He asked.
His hands still wrapped around me never wanting me to go.
"Just hold her!" I placed our baby in Virat's hands as he held her carefully.
She stopped crying within a second.
For a moment i just stared at them. I waited long for this, to see her in his arms.
First dad daughter moment.
"Oh she stopped crying!" His eyes lightented up in victory.
"Seems like she already likes her father!" I said it.
It took a minute to him to realize what i just said.
His eyes holding a state of disbelief.
"Fath-father..what?" He stumbled on his spot.
I took Naira from him.
"Yes Virat! She's our daughter! Naira! You always wanted this name na"
I sighed continuing.
"You want to know why i came here? Because of her Virat! The day you ended everything and left from my life was the day i wanted to tell you that i was pregnant but i guess life didn't wanted me to."
"I couldn't stay there knowing media will screw us both if this was leaked out! I came here taking the big decision of my life. With each passing day i just hoped for you to realize what you did"
"You came! But one year was too long Virat! The wait was too long! I won't say anything further! I am just lost in this moment!"
I wiped off my tears and sat on the couch.
Virat was still frozen. He sat besides me and held our daughter in his arms.
He kissed her tiny face and started crying loud.
I hugged my two babies.
"I failed niku!" He looked down in disappointment.
"I failed as a father, as a lover. After one year i get to know i have a daughter!"
"The time when i should have been here with you, to fulfil your cravings, to hear her first kick, to handle your mood swings, to pamper you in all your pain; i was busy in ending up my own life in bar"
"I missed it! I missed her first cry, i missed listening your screams, i missed your baby bump! I missed 3 months of her and one year of you!" He said it in a go looking at Naira.
"I know Virat! I know! It's the same way here. I missed yelling at you! kissing you! holding your hands while screaming in pain! I am just relieved naira got her father today!" I hugged him tigthly.
"Niku!" He stood up with Naira in his arms.
They looked perfect together.
"I know i was foolish enough to let you go. To make you suffer all alone, to make you fight this battle all by yourself! But now it's all over!"
He bent down on his knees.
I didn't knew what was he trying to do.
"Miss. Nikita Sinha! Will you marry me?" He bit his lip making me go awestruck.
I never thought this would happen.
Virat proposing me with our daughter in his arms.
"Virat? Are you sure? What about media? What will you tell the world about naira?" The question which was constantly bothering me every now and then.
"I'll tell the world she's my daughter, you're my love! I'll tell the world how freaking lucky i am to have you two in my life! I have done so much wrong in past one year! That's it niku! I can't be away from you now" He held my hands kissing them softly.
"Naira will be lucky to see her parents getting married, she won't remenber still it'll be special for me!" He kissed my cheeks.
I blushed the same way. Nothing was changed.
"Oh my heart! My lovers are back!" Anusha came grinning engulfing into a hug.
She took naira in room as she already slept in Virat's arms.
He pulled me closer and stared for a while.
"I am sorry!" He still wasn't over this.
"I love you!" I kissed him once again.
"It's marriage time Mrs. Kohli!" He smiled making my heart skip a beat.
"Mr. Kohli! I'll kick your ass if you ever left me!" I pouted.
"I'll kick my own ass before even getting a thought like this!" He kissed my pout.
And eventually everything fell into place.
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Thoughts?
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Epilogue left!👀