Dear diary,
Richard Piekar, that is what I named the other pie, and I are struggling to live in harmony. He keeps trying to push me off the boat into the ocean and I do not wish to get wet. Richard has a very strange looking face and he is filled with some strange ingredient that is not apple. Apple is the best ingredient in a pie and obviously I am filled with apple because obviously I am the best pie. Richard Piekar thinks he should be able to name me since I named him and I told him that everyone knows 'Pie' is short for the French word 'Piscine' which means 'swimming pool' because everyone names their baby pies after swimming pools now. I was really craving some red rooster so I decided to try and find an island. It was a bit hard because Richard would not stop complaining because he wanted fish!? He's really not a real pie I tell you. So I threw him overboard and he started drowning but then I felt bad so I had to get him back up with a net. I am a really nice pie unlike him. If he was filled with Apple he would be nicer. He was very angry after that. I don't know why the cover of Life Of Pi shows the guy and the tiger on the boat peacefully because that is not at all how it happened and I'm not even on a boat with a tiger. I'm on a boat with a pie. The pie is psycho and probably worse than a tiger. Have not reached land yet. Craving chicken.