Angst angst angst!!!
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Kit changed in to a simple T shirt and a track bottom which he borrowed from P'Sun. The large plastic bag containing new clothes remained untouched at the corner of the changing room. He felt ashamed and undeserving to wear the new clothes Ming bought for him. He clearly didn't deserve P'Ming's kindness.
Kit was grateful for not encountering P'Pha on his way to the practice room. He already had full on his plate and he didn't know what to say if he met P'Pha again. Heads snapped to his direction when he finally got to the practice room and he wasn't even in his right mind to understand the situation. The instructor said something about they have to do both singing and dancing if they got in to the finals. So for now they can focus on the dancing route since the final eight still haven't been selected. Kit was spacing out for the entire 3 hours and refused to eat anything during the breaks.
A cool water bottle touched his cheek making him snap back in to reality. Forth grinned and sat beside him placing a small plastic bag in front of him along with a juice bottle.
" You don't wanna end up passed out do you?" He teased. Kit pursed his lips and drank a mouthful of water. He forgot how parched his throat was.
" Thanks P"
" Ayy don't you dare to poison our nong nitwit!"
Nai, Jude and Sun said in unison and quickly plopped down beside them. Forth played along laughing.
" Yeah I'm here to make sure medical faculty won't have a chance to beat the engineering faculty this year"
" Woah since when did you start to care about the med faculty huh?" Sun teased.
" Since one handsome raven haired nong enrolled to our faculty no longer before two months of course"
"HA HA very funny"
Forth smacked Jude who was wiggling his eye brows suggestively at him.
" So where did the plastic bag come from?"
Forth grinned and cocked his chin towards outside the hall. The trio oohed bobbing their heads knowingly.
" So nong is it too hard to catch up with the choreography? Or are you troubled with the singing parts? We could always ask for extra help you know, since you missed out most parts of it"
Kit only hummed in response. He failed to notice the glances exchanging between them.
" P'Jude did you see P'Ming?"
Kit stiffened. It was Ai'Pete. The engineering moon under Ming. Jude instinctively looked at Kit and then at the others. Kit looked guilty and fumbled with the water bottle cap refusing to meet anyone's gaze. Jude finally cleared his throat.
" Urgh...is it a emergency? I think he's busy with...something at the moment nong. Why don't you ask Ai'Forth. He'd be able to help"
" Oh? That would be great P!"
Forth pat Kit's shoulder encouragingly and left the hall with Pete. After that there was a brief silence between them.
" So nong "
" Hmm?"
" Are we pressuring you too much? I mean we kinda forced you to be the new moon. Besides you have missed practices and now you have to catch on them to-"
" It's okay P I'm glad to help my faculty"
Kit said monotonously. It was the truth. He did want to help out the med faculty and give out his best. But he isn't in his best condition right now. He can't even think straight. Was it a mistake to come back? Maybe he should've stayed in USA. That way he wouldn't have to face this situation.
" N'Cop eat before the break ends"
Kit opted for forced smile. He felt awful, lying to these people like this. Specifically Beam. P'Ming was right. Who is he trying to fool? What good will it do? And P'Pha, does he feel the same towards him as he does for him?
He wanted to shout and cry out his frustrations. It was getting too much bottling up these problems for too long. The former moons seemed to understand his inner turmoil so they decided to give him some space. Kit finally set his mind to nibble on the salad though he thoroughly hated the dish. There was a smiley face drawn on the box with few words following behind.
'Eat well, be strong I'll be always with you'
As much as childish and cheesy it may sounds it made him smile soon as he gazed upon the lines.
For some reason P'Pha didn't show up at the practice hours nor the final photo shoot in the evening. Kit was somewhat relieved to be honest. P'Ming avoiding him at any cost was awkward enough. Everybody's gaze flickered from him to Ming when the older deliberately avoided talking with him. It was obvious Ming was giving him the cold shoulder.
After the shoot Kit cornered himself from the rest and walked aimlessly inside the resort. He felt even lonelier than when he was abroad. Just when he turned the corner he stuck on his spot after seeing Pha and Beam going on a heated argument. It was the first time he saw them talking after years and it was anything but formal.
Beam resembled a wild animal rather than a human. He constantly pushed Pha on his chest stressing each word. Every push getting harsher along with his voice. He was clearly drunk and kept swaying side to side unable to stand on his feet. Pha seemed to have a hard time to controlling himself from getting the situation physical as his patience was wearing thin. As much as Kit wanted to stop them he didn't want to make it worse by his presence. Beam landed a hard blow on P'Pha's jaw which the taller didn't even try to dodge. He said something to Beam with a calm face and it only resulted fulling up his anger. First Beam looked bewildered but then was soon replaced with anger. A dreadful feeling crept inside Kit's gut.
Beam marched straight to his room and instinctively Kit's legs followed him. He hasn't seen him this mad except for the time he first saw his best friend fighting with his step dad. He could sense something was clearly wrong and he wanted to bash his head for being so selfish. He wasn't the only one feeling lonely and pathetic. He wasn't the only one suffering.
Kit stood before the door and raised his hand on mid air hesitating. The mere door felt like a huge barrier for the first time in his life.
" B-beam"
The door opened with a small push. Kit stepped in cautiously and immediately widened his eyes at the state of the room. The night stand was toppled and the lamp was shattered to pieces. The contents which were supposed to be on the night stand remained scattered on the ground either broken or crushed.
" Beam"
He tried once again feeling worried and scared. Something hit on the front of his shoe making him frown and look down closely. It was the phone he used to see Beam carrying everywhere like a jewel. Now it had many cracks on it giving a rough idea about the number of times it has smashed on. The screen unlocked with a swipe of his index finger and the message on it left him stupefied.
" What are you doing here"
His used to be best fiend stood five feet before him with blood shot eyes and an angry scowl. His voice was icy and sharp highly unlike the Beam he used to know.
" I-i...uh I-I'm..-"
" Here to pity me?"
Kit winced at the sharp tone.
" Y-you're d-drunk Bea-"
" SURE I AM!" The vodka bottle hit the hard floor with a loud crashing noise. " How could I not celebrate when my mo- let me rephrase that, the woman whom I used to call my mom getting married today huh?......Have you been ever betrayed Ai'Copter?"
Kit bit his lip trying to hold his tears.Beam let out a humorless laugh and covered the distance with two strides staring right at Kit's tear brimmed eyes.
" Is that even your real name?"
His gaze became more menacing at his silence. Kit gasped loudly when his back harshly met the wall knocking his breath out. Beam clutched him from his collars keeping him in place and shouted.
" ANSWER ME!"
Kit flinched but remained tight lipped. Tears uncontrollably rolled down his cheeks as he felt Beam's pain through his eyes. Kit's lack of response made him even angrier.
" So it is you! You have been lying to me since the beginning haven't you? How could you Kit? How could you do this to ME HUH? "
Kit whimpered when he was pressed more in to the wall nearly crushing his bones.
" Why everybody do this to me? First dad then mom and even you? " A sob escaped his lips as he tugged on Kit's shirt collar harder.
" I-I'm s-sorr-"
" FOR WHAT? FOR BETRAYING ME? FOR LETTING ME GRIEVE? OR FOR LYING TO ME AND PRETENDING TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE? "
Kit shut his eyes close unable to look straight at Beam's eyes. He didn't know he hurt his best friend up to this extent. With in a day he managed to hurt two people who are dear to him... very badly. He was ready to take a beating if it's what it takes to make things right with both of them.
" P-please forgive me B-beam. I-I shouldn't have left without a word like that b-but believe me I didn't have any choice"
Beam huffed.
" Fine! Then what excuse do you have for not telling me who you really was?"
" I-I thought you would hate me for that Beam. I didn't want to l-lose my best friend"
Beam threw his had back and laughed. Kit looked at him hurt.
" Best friend~ haha of course. I was the one kept fooling myself all these years. Telling myself you had nothing going on with that bastard Pha...but it turned out you have in fact going on something with him"
" It's not what yo-"
" Oh yeah what is this then? A fucking mark of territory I guess!"
His shirt neck was yanked to reveal the fresh bruise mark for the second time of that day.
" Let me just ask you this, who else knew about this fake act? I bet P'Forth knew... and P'Ming? He seems quite fond of you. Surely you wouldn't have missed him"
" B-bea-"
" Was I that easy? Huh? it must have been fun to make a fool out of me right Kit? I can't believe I had feelings for you"
Kit's eyes widened in utter shock.
" W-wait what?"
" Once! Not even once you did take my words seriously Kit! Do you know how hurtful it was? To play along as if it's a huge joke? I've said those three words to you countless times !"
" i-I'm s-sorry I didn't know Beam. i-I swear. It's j-just you-ve always b-been a brother to me"
Kit pleaded reaching for his hand but Beam tore his hands away before he could.
" Please I'll take any punishment you want me to have. Hit me if you want Beam. J-just don't be like this"
" Then stay the fuck away from me"
Kit dropped on to his knees as the door slammed close sobbing. It's like he just lost a part of his soul. They'll never be like before ever again. Even if he is forgiven It'll never be the same.
Beam's phone flashed with the picture of his mother in a wedding dress with her groom. Kit cried his eyes out like the pathetic lost soul that he is. Beam was gone for more than fifteen minutes but he didn't have the courage to follow him. He was torn apart between his own thoughts and feelings.
*beep*
Kit sniffled and stared at his phone screen with blurry vision.
#Unknown number#
_Your pathetic little friend is about to drown himself in the pool_
The phone dropped on to the floor and Kit dashed towards the pool side like he's gone crazy. He tripped on his way couple of times but still continued to run half limping.
Please don't please don't!
" BEAM!"
" B-BEAM?"
" WHERE ARE YOU?"
The whole place remained secluded and the only sound he heard was that of waves crashing on the shore. He could hardly see anything with the darkness.
Was he too late?
Something moved making a ruffling sound by the other end of the pool.
" B-beam is that you?"
A loud splash sound echoed freezing him on the spot.
NO!
" N-No Beam NO!"
Once he stood before the pool he stuck on the spot again. Ugly flashes of his past re-winded in his mind over and over again like a broken record. His body trembled remembering the countless sleepless nights he had due to the picture of himself drowning in the pool, struggling for his life as everybody mocked at him from side lines. Feeling helpless and pathetic. He hated that. Nobody gave a darn when he struggled to keep his life on line. When his lungs filled with water he was scared. Scared that he was going to die. He had no one to hold on to. He felt how his consciousness started to drift away against his will. The mere memory was surreal.
" B-beam"
It was the only thing he could utter before his trembling body was ruthlessly pushed in to the deep pool by an unknown force. It was like the same before. Except last time he knew it was his crush and first love who did it to him. A shrilling pain shoot up to his head as dark spots started to invade his vision. He was tired of everything. His limbs ceased thrashing and let his body sink deeper.
Maybe this is what he deserved.
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TTTTT I love TeeTer! I adore TeeTer! What a perfect bromance~ Tee is such a sweet heart looking after Cop all the time >3>