I felt foolish for opening the door without thinking that he owned this unit and there was no need for him to ring the doorbell.
Balisa ako sa mga sumunod na sandali. Siguro ay mas mapapanatag pa ako kung kinompronta ako ni Miss Samantha pero hindi iyon ang nangyari. She just stared at me, gave me a once-over from head to feet then left without saying a word to me.
I was so disoriented that I needed a moment to grasp what just happened. Upon regaining myself, I ran to Davin’s room, almost tripped on my own feet to get there, and pulled a white longsleeve and boxer shorts from his closet. Nang makapagbihis ay nagmabilis akong umalis, hindi na siya mahihintay pang bumalik.
Nagkulong ako sa kuwarto nang makarating sa apartment ko, tulala sa kisame habang sari-sari na ‘yong tumatakbo sa isipan ko. I made a promise before that I would make it up to Papa. I also vowed to myself that I would start anew for my parents, especially for Vini. I was also putting in my utmost effort to finish my education while juggling it with work to support it. My goal was to secure a decent job in the future so I could provide for my son. Pero ang mga iyon ay tila ba unti-unting lumalabo na. Hindi naman siguro tanga si Miss Samantha para hindi bigyan ng malisya ‘yong nakita niya. Hindi siya manhid para isiping walang namamagitan sa aming dalawa ni Davin. Dahil sinong matinong estudyante ang matatagpuan sa loob ng bahay ng professor niya na tanging robe lamang ang suot?
My heart ached as I confronted the harsh realizations that my dreams for Vini was now about to crumble before my eyes.
Trembling, I struggled to find Mama’s contact on my cellphone to talk to Vini, and it took several rings before she was able to answer the call.
“Mommy?” si Vini amg sumagot na siyang agad na ikinagaan ng pakiramdam ko.
“Hi,” tugon ko.
Bugbog na bubog na ang dibdib ko ngayon sa pangamba. Inaasahan ko nang naisumbong na ni Miss Samantha ang tungkol sa nakita niya. After all, she possessed every right to take the necessary action. She was now supported by a concrete evidence. It was her own eyes that caught sight of me inside Davin’s unit and clad in nothing but a robe.
“Mommy, umiiyak ka po?” Vini worriedly asked that interrupted me from my thoughts.
“Nope!” I replied with a fake cheerful voice.
Bumangon ako sa kama at sumandal sa headboard, itiniklop ang mga tuhod sa dibdib, niyakap, at ipinatong ang baba roon habang hawak sa tainga ‘yong cellphone ko.
“Mommy,” tawag niya sa isang malungkot na tinig.
“Vini, what’s wrong?” pag-aalala ko sa kaniya.
“Mommy.”
“What is it?”
“Nalulungkot po ako.”
“Why? Is there a problem, hmm? You can tell it to Mommy. I have the entire evening to listen, baby.”
I felt the weight of his deep sigh through the phone, a sound that constricted my heart. And I hated myself that I was unable to provide physical comfort to him.
“Vini? Anong problema? May masakit ba sa ‘yo? Are you not feeling well? Did you tell about it to Lolama? O may nang-away ba sa ‘yo sa school? Baby, tell me,” nag-uunahan kong tanong.
“I am not sick nor bullied, Mommy,” sagot niya.
“Then why are you sad?”
“Do you still remember that tall guy I used to tell you?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I was just talking to him before you called, Mommy. The reason I took a while to answer your call is that I was still in the middle of a conversation with him,” he explained which had my brows furrowing.
Why were we discussing him?
At talagang may komunikasyon din sila noong tall guy na ‘yon?
“What about him?” I asked.
“He told me that he and the woman he loves have gotten back together, Mommy. He mentioned that he is the happiest man right now,” he sadly informed me.
“And? Are you not happy for him, Vini?”
“Honest answer? I am not happy, Mommy. Because I want him to be my second daddy,” he confessed to me.
May kung anong mabigat na bagay ang tila ba dumagan sa dibdib ko dahilan kung bakit biglang nahirapan akong huminga.
“Vini,” I called.
What could be more painful for a parent than knowing that their child was sad?
“Could you find me a daddy, Mommy?” aniya pa na ikinatutop ng bibig ko. “I envy my classmates, Mommy. Sa tuwing po may program sa school, naiinggit po ako kapag nakikita ko sila na kasama ‘yong mommy at daddy nila. ‘Yon pong may magchi-cheer, ‘yong may bubuhat po sa akin na daddy sa mga balikat niya. Mommy, I want a daddy,” humihikbing sabi niya.
Every word he uttered was a dagger to my heart. I used to believe that Mama and I were enough to him. I thought he already understood this matter and would not want anything or anyone else. However, I overlooked the fact that he was still a child. My Vini was just a baby and would inevitably request such things.
I cleared my throat, trying my best to regain composure as I spoke to him.
“Vini, I am low batt na. Maybe we can talk about this some other time? Sige na! You go to sleep na! Let’s just be happy for the tall guy na masaya siya, okay? I am hanging up na, baby. I love you,” paalam ko na sa kaniya.
Hindi ako pinatulog ng mga sinabi ni Vini. Samantala, kinabukasan ay lakas-loob lang akong pumasok. I did not know what was waiting for me at school. Hindi ko alam kung naikalat na ba ni Miss Samantha ang mga nalaman niya o kung nakarating na ba ang tungkol dito kay Dean Esperanza.
Tahimik akong umupo sa isang student shed sa gilid ng football field. Excuse pa rin kami ni Levin sa mga klase namin kaya naman sinamantala ko ang pagkakataon na makapag-isa at makapag-isip.
While looking afar, I nearly leapt from my seat when a cold hand touched my feet. Catching my breath, I looked down to find Levin kneeling before me.
“Ugh, Levin! Papatayin mo ba ako sa gulat?!”
“Your feet seem fine. Dean Esperanza mentioned that you sprained your ankle. Are you all right?” he asked with a concern as he sat beside me.
I nodded my head in response, simply could not tell him what truly happened yesterday. He would surely be upset if he found out the truth, and I did not want to hurt him.
“Levin, uh, what if—”
Natigilan ako, hindi alam kung papaano ba sisimulan ‘yong nais kong sabihin.
“What if?”
“Ano, kasi—”
“Nina, may problema ba?”
Gustung-gusto kong magkuwento ng totoo pero sobrang kumplikado ng sitwasyon ko.
“Wala,” imbes ay sabi ko na lang sabay peke ng isang ngiti. “Ah, iniisip ko lang ‘yong gagawin natin para sa telent portion. We only have few days left,” pag-aalala ko. “Ano nang gagawin natin?”
“Perhaps, it is a blessing in disguise. I really would love to play music, Nina, and Dean Esperanza was finally okay with it. It is going to be my first time performing here at school, and the idea thrills me,” he replied to me.
In the end, what happened turned out to be even more favorable for him. Levin, then, told me that he was taking me to one of his gigs tonight, where we could also practice at the bar where they were performing.
Pumayag ako sa gusto niya. Napag-isipan ko rin na simula ngayon ay lalapit at sasama na ako parati sa kaniya para hindi na mabigyan pa ng pagkakataon si Davin na lumapit pa sa akin.
Levin and I fell into silence as we both looked across the expansive football field.
“Nina,” biglang tawag niya.
“Hmm?” tugon ko habang nakatanaw pa rin sa malayo, habang ginugulo pa rin ang isipan ko noong nangyari kahapon.
“You have to see this,” he said, and from the pocket of his slacks, he pulled something out.
My brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what he wanted to show me and what he was referring to. I glanced at Levin to find him looking at his cellphone while scrolling through a Facebook page.
“Levin?” naguguluhang tawag ko at hindi ko alam kung bakit muling bumangon ‘yong kaba sa dibdib ko, biglang kinutuban ng hindi maganda.
“I don’t use Facebook much, pero kanina, narinig ko ‘yong mga kaklase natin na may pinag-uusapan. I got curious because almost everyone was talking about it,” he said as he handed me his cellphone. “I searched for it, and then I read about a confession.”
My hands trembled as I read the contents of that particular Facebook post. According to the confession, there was allegedly a forbidden relationship between a professor and a student in the College of Nursing. The names of the professor and student were not mentioned, but Levin and I knew who they were referring to.
“Habang hindi pa napangangalanan kung sino ang tinutukoy diyan sa post na ‘yan, I suggest that you stay away from Professor Herrera, Nina. Iyon ay kung gusto mo pang manatili sa school na ito at maka-graduate. Because if the university will find out about you and that professor, your education might be put to severe jeopardy,” Levin warned me.
Natakot ako sa mga sinabi niya. He had a point. At alam ko naman talaga iyon kaya nga nababaliw na ako rito sa pag-iisip kung ano ba ang gagawin ko.
Pero sino ba talaga ang tinutukoy doon sa confession?
Kami ba ni Davin?
Iniwan ako ni Levin at hinayaang makapag-isip muna. In the end, I resolved to speak with Miss Samantha. If it meant begging on my knees for her to keep silent about this matter, I was prepared to do just that. I would plead and do whatever it took to comply with her wishes.
I took a deep breath, gathering all the courage I needed before rapping on the doors of her office. After few knocks, she finally opened it, her expression blank. She did not seem surprised by me being here, almost as if she had anticipated this would happen.
“Come in,” she said calmly.
Sumunod ako sa kaniya.
“Sit down,” utos niya.
Again, I did what she had ordered.
“Since when are you fucking Professor Herrera?” diretsahan at walang ligoy na tanong niya.
My breathings labored. Gusto kong magalit sa paratang na iyon pero anong karapatan ko kung totoo naman itong ibinibintang niya sa akin? Because yes. I did. I was fucking my professor.
“Miss Samantha—”
“I already had a suspicion about you and him even before, but I dismissed the idea. Davin informed me that you were merely someone from his past, a close friend perhaps. I believed him. However, when I noticed him being extra caring to you, I began to question everything,” she stated and I went speechless. “I saw your ID on the floor near his table. Initially, I thought maybe you just left it there, it fell, or something of the sort,” she continued, adding a dramatic pause.
Lihim na napahugot ako ng isang malalim na hininga.
“And then, I saw a skirt beneath his table, leading me to assume someone was hiding there. Thoughts of you instantly crossed my mind. But despite my initial doubt, I chose to give you both the benefit of it. I tried to ignore it, but then I caught you in his unit, only in a robe, nearly naked,” she continued.
“Miss Samantha, I—”
“I like Davin. I have never felt this way about anyone before him. That’s why there is nothing I will not do to have him,” she declared with unwavering determination.
Napalunok ako nang malalim. Ngayon pa lang ay nauunawaan ko na ‘yong gusto niyang mangyari at iparating. Kung sakaling hihingi man siya ng kapalit sa pagtatago ng nalalaman niya tungkol sa aming dalawa ni Davin ay alam ko nang ito ang hihingin niya sa akin.
“I am Samantha de Asis, and I always get what I want,” she declared. “Expect me to keep quiet about this. Ang gusto ko lang ay layuan mo na si Davin. If your education is really important to you, if you still want to keep your place in this university, you will do what I want you to do. You will cut whatever connection you have with him. Are we clear, Ms. Montessa?”
Ilang beses pa niya iyong pinaulit-ulit sa akin bago ko tuluyang nabigkas ‘yong salitang oo, at doon na rin natapos ‘yong pag-uusap naming dalawa.
Naging mabilis ‘yong pag-iwas ko kay Davin dahil nalaman kong absent siya ngayong araw. While Levin kept his word. We visited the bar he mentioned, practiced the song number we were presenting for the upcoming pageant, and afterward, he sent me home to my apartment.
Nang gabing ‘yon, dahil na rin siguro sa sobrang kapaguran ng katawan at isipan ay nagdiretso ako sa kama para matulog na. It was two in the morning when I felt the bed shifted with weight. Not long after, a warm body started to curl around me like a coccoon, drawing me closer.
Si Davin.
“We were fine, right? We made love in my office. I was just getting us dinner and you were suddenly gone,” he said.
“Davin, bitiwan mo ako!” protesta ko.
“Ninaandrea—”
“It was just sex and nothing more! Davin, I don’t want complications in my life! Kung totoong may pakialam ka sa akin ay lalayuan mo na ako! I was doing just fine the past years and you are about to ruin it again! So please! Do me this favor and leave me alone!”
He did not answer anymore as silence filled my room. Nabasag lang ang katahimikang iyon nang gumawa ng tunog ‘yong kama ko noong bumangon siya. Ilang sandali pa ay narinig ko na lang ‘yong pagbukas at pagsarado ng pintuan.
It was almost nine in the morning when I crawled out of bed the next day. I was not able to go back to sleep anymore after Davin had left my room. The thoughts that I pushed him away and that he was now gone in my life were haunting me like a nightmare. Dumaragdag pa sa mga iniisip ko ‘yong nangyayari ngayon sa school. The confession about the anonymous professor and student relationship in our college spread like a wildfire in the whole university. Kahit saang sulok ay naririnig ko ‘yong tungkol doon.
And I wondered how the faculty was accepting this issue? O pinapatulan ba kaya nila ang mga ganito? Binibigyang pansin? Papaano kung oo? Nasisiguro kong magsisimula na silang maghinala at mag-imbestiga ng tungkol dito.
But I would hope for Miss Samantha’s words. She promised to be quiet about this. Tulad nga ng sinabi niya ay malaki ang gusto niya kay Davin kaya nasisiguro kong hindi niya siya ipahahamak.
At ganito pala ‘yong pakiramdam ng may itinatago. Kahit pa hindi naman alam ng mga estudyante na ako nga ‘yong tinutukoy doon ay hindi pa rin ako mapalagay, and everytime they talk about it, para bang ako ang pinariringgan o pinatatamaan nila. Or maybe, I was just so caught up and guilty the reason I was feeling this way.
Nanatili ako sa cafeteria habang hinihintay si Levin, at para na rin makaiwas sa mga estudyanteng walang ibang ginawa kundi ang pag-usapan ang tungkol doon sa anonymous confession na ‘yon. Sobrang naririndi na talaga ang mga tainga ko sa tuwing naririnig ang bagay na iyon.
Biglaan ko tuloy naisip kung sino kaya talaga ang gumawa noong confession? I was now sure it was not Miss Samantha. Kasi alam niyang malalagay sa malaking kahihiyan si Davin sakaling mabulgar ito at alam kong hindi niya iyon hahayaang mangyari.
But the thought that it was not her that did it worried me even more. Kung hindi siya, ibig sabihin ba ay may iba pang tao ang nakaaalam ng tungkol sa aming dalawa ni Davin?
Bumuga ako ng isang malalim na hininga at saka pumangalumbaba sa mesa habang pinaglalaruan ‘yong bottled water na nasa harapan ko.
Sino nga kaya ang gumawa noon? At kami nga ba talaga ni Davin ang tinutukoy doon? But what if there was another professor and student that were in a relationship here, at hindi naman pala iyon tungkol sa aming dalawa?
Nasa malalim na pag-iisip ako nang magulat sa biglaang pagsulpot ni Katelyn sa harapan ko kasama ‘yong mga kaibigan niya. Pinalibutan nila ako sa mesa ko na para bang lilitisin ako sa isang matinding kaso.
“Relax, Nina. Para ka namang nakakita ng multo. Wait! Bakit ka namumutla? You look like you’ve done something and are so guilty about it,” she told me, the wicked smile wouldn’t leave her mouth.
“Anong kailangan mo sa akin, Katelyn?”
“We are just here to send you some good luck,” aniya.
“We hope that you won’t trip on your own feet on the stage and embarrass yourself,” sabi naman noong isang kasama niya.
“Yeah, right! Baka makaapekto pa ‘yon sa scoring ng mga judges. Ikaw pa naman ang representative ng year natin. Of course, we care about you,” segunda naman noong isa pang kasama niya.
“Oh, come on! That won’t happen, girls. Malakas yata siya kay Sir Davin, ‘di ba, Nina? And because he is one of the judges, malaki ang chance niya na maipanalo ang pageant. You know! Teacher’s pet, or more than that,” makahulugang sabi ni Katelyn.
“Anong gusto mong iparating?”
“Nothing! Don’t mind what I said. Good luck na lang sa pageant. Magpakasaya ka na kasi hindi natin alam, baka last mo na pala,” aniya pa.
I blinked in disbelief at Katelyn, struggling to process what she had said. Sa sobrang pagkatulala ay hindi ko na namalayan pa na wala na pala sila sa harapan ko.
Anong ibig niyang sabihin doon?
Isang pagpitik ng mga daliri sa harapan ko ang nagpabalik sa akin sa kasalukuyan. Wala sa sariling tinapunan ko ng tingin ang gumawa noon at natagpuan si Levin na ngayon ay umuupo na sa silya sa harapan ko.
“Okay ka lang?” he asked, a deep vertical line pulled between his eyebrows. “I saw Katelyn and her friends went here. Ginulo ka ba nila? May ginawa ba sila sa ‘yo?” he worried.
I shook my head.
“Wala lang ‘yon,” tanggi ko.
“Sigurado ka? Sandali! May sakit ka ba?” muling pag-aalala niya.
“Kinakabahan lang siguro ako, ano, ‘di ba, malapit na ang pageant, kaya ganoon,” I lied, pero inaalala ko rin naman talaga ‘yong tungkol doon.
“‘Yon lang ba? Sus! Sigurado ako na maipananalo natin ‘yon,” he confidently replied. “Anyway, lunch is on me! I am starving! Saglit lang. Bibili ako ng makakain natin.”
Naiwan akong hindi mapakali sa upuan ko. Maraming mga tanong ang bumabagabag sa isipan ko na mas lalong nagpapabaliw sa akin.
Ano ba ‘yong gustong ipakahulugan ni Katelyn doon sa mga sinabi niya?
Bakit nasabi niyang baka huli ko na ito?
Ano ba talaga ang alam niya?
I frustratedly ran my hands across my face, resisting the urge to hit my head on the table. I was truly at a loss, unsure of what to think or do.
“Ayos ka lang ba talaga? Gusto mo bang ibili kita ng gamot? O dalhin kaya kita sa clinic?” si Levin noong bumalik sa mesa.
“Everyone is talking about the confession, Levin. Natatakot na talaga ako,” sa wakas ay pagsasabi ko ng inaalala ko.
“Come on! This is not something new. Professor and student relationship rumors circulate in every school, Nina. Eventually, people will forget about it, so, do not stress yourself too much. If they really wanted to expose it, they would have already named you,” he reassured me, lifting my spirits. Although it made sense, I was still worried. “Cheer up! Let’s just talk about the pageant. Excited na talaga ako! I can finally showcase my guitar skills in front of everyone here.”
Matapos noon ay ipinatawag ulit kaming mga kasali sa pageant sa school gymnasium para sa stage rehearsal. Everything went smooth. I was able to cope up with them, at na-satisfy naman namin iyong bakla na nagturo sa amin gayundin sina Dean Esperanza na biglang dumating sa kalagitnaan ng ginagawa namin para panuorin kami.
“Mag-snackbreak muna kayo! I brought you pizza and drinks,” Dean Esperanza announces.
Hinila ako ni Levin at saka sabay naming nilapitan ‘yong mesa sa gilid.
“Here!” ani Levin habang inaabutan ako ng isang slice ng pizza at ng isang paper cup na naglalaman ng inumin.
“Thank you!” I replied.
Tahimik na naupo ako sa isang monoblock sa gilid at hinayaan si Levin na makipagkwentuhan doon sa iba pang mga kasama namin.
Umiinom ako ng softdrinks nang bigla akong lapitan ni Dean Esperanza. Halos maibuga ko pa nga iyon sa sobrang gulat ko.
“Kumusta ka na, hija? Maayos na ba ang paa mo? I was watching you earlier, mukhang okay ka naman?” mahinahong tanong niya habang umuupo sa silya sa tabi ko at habang sinusulyapan ang paa ko.
A lump unexpectedly lodged in my throat, and I broke into a cold sweat, unable to even glance at her.
What if mapansin niya na hindi naman talaga injured ang paa ko? What if malaman niyang nagsisinungaling lang ako tungkol dito?
I silently prayed to God above to pull me out of this situation... at ganoon na lamang ang pasasalamat ko nang sagutin niya agad ang hiling ko.
Akmang magsasalita muli si Dean Esperanza nang bigla siyang mapalingon. Sinundan ko ang tinitingnan niya at napalunok nang malalim nang makita si Miss Samantha, approaching with elegant strides, causing me to fidget uncomfortably in my chair.
“Professor Samantha! Come here!” tawag sa kaniya ni Dean Esperanza, ikinumpas ang kamay habang sumesenyas na mas lumapit sa amin at doon umupo sa tabi niya.
“Afternoon, Dean,” Miss Samantha replied. Her lips hinted at a smile, but her eyes betrayed a raised eyebrow as she briefly glanced my way.
Agad na nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya. Tuluyan na rin akong nanigas sa kinauupuan ko dahil sa kaba. Pinakiramdaman ko silang dalawa at kabadong pinakinggan ang pinag-uusapan nila.
Nawala ang atensyon ni Dean Esperanza sa akin at tuluyang natuon iyon kay Miss Samantha... and my heart stopped beating hearing about Davin.
“I was looking for you. Ngayon ka lang ba dumating?” ani Dean Esperanza.
“I apologize for my being late, Dean. An emergency came up. Kaya kakarating ko lang po. It was about Davin,” sagot ni Miss Samantha na labis na ikinabahala ko.
“Oh? About Professor Herrera? What about him? Ang totoo ay gusto talaga kitang makausap tungkol sa kaniya, Samantha. Alam kong malapit kayo sa isa’t isa at nag-aalala na rin ako para sa kaniya,” Dean Esperanza worriedly told her. “Hindi siya pumasok kahapon at ngayon ay hindi rin. May problema ba siya, hmm? May sakit kaya? He wasn’t like this and I am really worried. Ni hindi nagsabi sa akin.”
Pakiramdam ko ay lumaki ang mga tainga ko sa biglaang kuryosidad doon sa pinag-uusapan nila.
Absent ulit si Davin ngayon?
Anxiety gripped me, my chest feeling burdened with concern.
It took a moment for Miss Samantha to break the silence.
“He was admitted to the hospital around seven in the morning, Dean Esperanza,” she revealed.
Napasinghap ako at muntik maihulog ‘yong cup na hawak sa biglaang panginginig ng mga kamay ko.
“What happened?” gulat na tanong ni Dean Esperanza.
“Severe allergy, Dean. Actually, ako po ang nagdala sa kaniya sa ospital. I learned from his doctor that he is allergic with barley, which you know is a common ingredient of beer,” paliwanag ni Miss Samantha.
“Hindi ba niya alam na allergic siya roon?” takang tanong ni Dean Esperanza.
“He is fully aware of it, Dean. And I also did not understand why he still drink knowing he is allergic. Thankfully, it was addressed promptly, or it could have led to an anaphylactic shock,” Miss Samantha explained.
“How is he now?” Dean Esperanza inquired again.
“He is doing well now, Dean. He is back home and resting,” Miss Samantha replied, eliciting a sigh of relief from the dean.
Pumikit ako nang mariin nang may maalala tungkol sa bagay na iyon. And up until today, nararamdaman ko pa rin ‘yong sobrang takot tulad noong una kong malaman ‘yong tungkol sa allergy reaction niya sa sa beer.
“Sige nga! Kung mahal mo talaga ang pinsan namin, isang shot nga riyan!” hamon noong isang pinsan ko kay Davin noong makita nila kami.
Kinapitan ko nang mahigpit sa braso si Davin at saka sinamaan naman ng tingin ang mga pinsan ko.
“Tigilan ninyo nga siya! Hindi siya umiinom.” saway ko habang hinihila palayo si Davin sa kanila. “Tara na! Huwag mo silang pakinggan.”
“E, mahina pala ‘yang boyfriend mo! Isang shot lang, hindi pa kaya!” tukso pang muli ng isa ko pang pinsan.
“One shot and we promise to never tell about your relationship to Tito Neandro and Tita Andrea. Deal?” my cousin dares.
“Ano ba?! Stop teasing him! Hindi siya tulad ninyo!” inis na sabi ko.
Feeling helpless, I turned to Ruin, the cousin who always did me favors, hoping for help, but he seemed to side our cousins more.
“They have a point. Well, let is put it this way, drinking is like a circumcision,” Ruin said, causing me to furrow my brow, on the other hand making our other cousins to laugh.
“Ano bang—”
“What I meant is, drinking is like a circumcision, Nina. An initiation ritual, a rite of passage for a man. Kailangan munang lasingin para masiguro namin na matibay ‘yan at hindi ka sasaktan,” Ruin explained, while our cousins nodded in agreement.
“You are all talking nonsense!” I grunted, shaking my head at them.
“It’s alright,” Davin interjected, placing his hand on mine, resting it on his arm, and gave me a warm smile.
“Alright!” ani Ruin.
“Davin,” tawag ko habang pinapanuod ‘yong unti-unting pag-abot niya roon sa bote ng beer na iniaabot ng pinsan ko.
“You don’t have to do this, Davin,” giit ko.
He edged closer to me, his words a hushed whisper in my ears.
“Don’t worry about me, Ninaandrea It’s just one,” he reassured as he gently pinched my nose.
I swallowed nervously, my concern growing as I watched him down the shot without hesitation.
He was only sixteen! Too young to be drinking alcohol, and as far as I knew, he was not into it.
Galit na tinapunan ko ng tingin ang mga pinsan ko noong magsigawan sila matapos uminom ni Davin doon sa beer. At kung hindi lang talaga sila nangako na hindi nila sasabihin ang tungkol sa aming dalawa ni Davin sa mga magulang ko ay hindi ko sila hahayaang gawin ito sa kaniya.
Ang isang bote ay nauwi sa ilan pa. Sinubukan kong ilayo na si Davin mula sa kanila pero hindi na siya makatanggi pa sa mga pinsan ko.
Akmang aabutan siyang muli ng isa pa pero hinablot ko na ‘yon at saka ibinagsak sa mesa.
“That’s enough! Marami na siyang nainom!” sabi ko.
I immediately looked and worried after Davin. Kumpara sa mga pinsan ko ay kakaiba at mas matindi na ‘yong pamumula niya.
“Davin, okay ka lang ba?” tanong ko habang sinasapo ang mukha niya.
Tila binugbog ang dibdib ko sa takot at kaba nang mapansin ang mga rashes sa balat niya gayundin ‘yong mainit at mabilis na mga paghinga niya.
“Davin!”
“Ninaandrea,” he called, panting and smiling weakly at me, then told me something that nearly stopped my heart from beating. “Hindi ako makahinga.”
“Anong ibig mong sabihin?” kabadong tanong ko.
“I’m... I’m actually allergic to a-alcoholic drinks, especially beer,” he replied, he could hardly speak.
“Ano?! Bakit hindi mo sinabi? Bakit uminom ka pa kung allergic ka naman pala? Davin naman, e!”
“Because I would do anything for you,” he replied and the guts of him to wink at me in his situation.
Seconds later, he passed out.
Those memories sent shivers down my spine. He had almost died from that before, and I refused to stand idly by. So, after school, I headed to his condo. I just wanted to check on him, to make absolutely sure he was truly okay now. I would just take a quick peek. At kasalanan ko ito! Kung may masama mang mangyari sa kaniya ay ako ang dapat na sisihin dito!
Kabado ako sa loob ng elevator habang pumapanhik patungo sa top floor. Mabuti na lang at kilala na ako sa reception desk kaya hindi naging mahirap sa akin na pumasok dito.
I took a sharp breath and stepped out, the creaking floor signaling that I had reached the right floor.
In front of his door, I stood motionless, pondering my next move. Ang sabi ni Miss Samantha ay nakauwi na raw si Davin mula sa ospital, and he was probably here. Pero papaano ako makakapasok ngayon sa loob? I did not even know his passcode!
I attempted every possible combination of numbers to open the door. Trying his birthday proved futile until, luckily, I recalled something, and the door opened.
I blinked my eyes, unsure about my emotions, discovering that he was still using my birthdate as his password.
Marahang pumasok ako sa loob. Patay ang lahat ng mga ilaw at tanging ‘yong liwanag mula sa matataas na gusali sa labas na tumatagos sa salaming dinding ang nagbibigay sa akin ng paraan para makalakad sa dilim.
Biglang natigilan ako, kinilabutan, at napayakap sa mga braso sa biglaang naramdamang lamig at nakakabinging katahimikan ng kabuuan ng unit niya.
Bigla akong napaisip kung papaano siya nakatatagal sa katahimikan at kalungkutan dito? At bakit mag-isa lang siya rito? Nasaan na ba ‘yong pinsan ko at anak nilang dalawa?
Carefully, I walked towards his room. Fortunately, I discovered that it was not locked, so I took the opportunity to enter.
Moving silently, I approached him and found him peacefully asleep in his king-sized bed, where the only source of light in his room was the lamp on the nightstand.
Pinagmasdan ko siya nang mabuti. I wanted to run my fingers on his face, lie on the bed next to him, and hugged him until the morning. Pero alam kong hindi maaari ‘yon kaya nakuntento na lamang ako na pagmasdan siya.
I stood motionless while looking down at him. Ni hindi ko na nga magawang kumurap pa sa takot na baka sa muli kong pagmulat ay bigla na lang siyang maglaho sa paningin ko.
Above all, I was relieved to know that he was fine, safe, and out of harm’s way.
Davin stirred slightly, and I worried he might wake up and catch me here, pero tulog pa rin naman siya.
Sa paggalaw niyang iyon ay bahagyang bumaba ang kumot niya. Akmang aayusin ko iyon nang bigla ko namang marinig ‘yong pagbukas ng pintuan kasabay ng tinig ni Miss Samantha na hinahanap siya.
My heart raced in a panic as I heard her footsteps drawing near to his room where I was. Mabilis akong nag-isip habang natataranta kung saan ako maaaring magtago. And before Miss Samantha could open the door, tinakbo ko ang closet ni Davin na hindi kalayuan sa kama niya.
Humihingal akong nagtago sa loob. Mula naman sa maliliit na awang ay sumilip ako kung saan natatanaw ko ang kama ni Davin.
I watched Miss Samantha approached him with something in her hand, sitting onto the bed facing Davin, partly covering my view of him. Then, she leaned in towards him, delicately holding his arms in an attempt to rouse him with a gentle whisper.
“Davin! Wake up! I’ve brought you dinner. You need to eat so you can take your medicine,” aniya, at wala nang mas sasakit pa na masaksihan iyon.