39) 'Don't Sit Down' And Other Advice That Seems Kind Of Stupid Until You Remember You Just Leveled Up In Ways That Are Actual Level Ups In A Kind Of Game Too Unholy To Reference
Benjamin's behind hurt like hell because he'd just had underage sex with his boyfriend. He was a criminal. Because of the underage part, that is. The other part was legal. They were partners-in-crime now, he and Thijmen, but when he told this to the Dutch boy he realized the guy was either asleep or pretending not to hear. The latter, given the former tended to come along with a groan.
He didn't think the criminal jokes were funny anyway.
Benjamin was not doing very well with his elaborate plan to become a better boyfriend. He'd made a list of things to do, but it was a lot harder than it seemed (no pun intended). Writing it down was all well and good, but the problem lay with the remembering part. Especially with his mouth spewing nonsense without a moment of hesitation. It was like trying to hold back a river.
But he would not give up. He'd build a dam. The strongest dam known to humankind.
He felt sticky. Thijmen was still sound asleep, which he supposed was to be expected given the jet lag and all. Besides, he wasn't the one who'd gotten stabbed from behind with stuff. He didn't hurt anywhere.
They had done... things a few times, but never this. They'd never really acted weird afterwards. Maybe this changed things. Or not. He felt like waking Thijmen up to ask him but he didn't. The world outside was silent, too, which meant his parents were still out partying. Whenever they felt wild enough, they even played Monopoly with the neighbors.
Even after cleaning up and crawling back into the warmth of his bed, he couldn't fall asleep. "Thijmen," he said.
Second try: "Thijmen," he said and shook him.
Third try:
"No," replied Thijmen.
"Oh. Okay."
"Can't you just... go to sleep for a moment or something?"
"Why?"
Thijmen turned around so that Benjamin faced his back and put a pillow over his head.
Message received.
It did seem like your average Benjamin-Thijmen interaction, pillow usage included. He could just be looking too much into it. They'd get out of bed and act as usual, and that was it. No passage ritual. No Ted Talk.
Benjamin shifted a little closer and pressed himself against Thijmen's back. He didn't object. He wrapped his arm around him. This was okay, too. He put his face in the crook of Thijmen's neck and breathed in. Still, Thijmen said nothing.
It reminded him of when he was sniffing the Stolen Pillow, months ago. He smelled the same, if not a bit more salty. He smelled nice.
Whether it be from boredom or from the way his body was quietly nagging at him to take a rest already, Benjamin eventually fell asleep, too. He dreamed of fairies and angels and space and sex. With Thijmen.
For the first time in his life, he had a valentine. It was snowing, too, which would've made it cliché had he not slipped and whacked the shit out of his face the moment he walked out of the house. Thijmen laughed and Benjamin II said, "Don't stain the furniture," and Benjamin's mother pretended to be busy looking for something so she wouldn't have to treat his wounds. Benjamin caught Isaac the driver laughing, too.
Valentine's Day was nice if you had a date, but that was about it. It sucked the way every other day sucked. And now he had a purple eye.
Or, well, the day before Valentine's. Same thing. The hype was there. The last few months had been snow snow exams Thijmen let's go to the theater room no Benjamin don't be nasty wait until your parents are gone counselor January February halfway through March.
And that was it.
It would've been great if he's actually begun executing his plan of becoming a better boyfriend, but life wasn't that easy. Holidays made it easier to pretend you were actually going to change, though. Kind of like Christmas, where he had said he'd go on a diet (he'd certainly been doing more exercise than usual).
As of now, he went to school with a swollen face and an ice pack. Martin had been harassing him all night on the phone, and now he waited at the school entrance. When Benjamin walked up to him, he winced. "Yes," said Benjamin.
"What happened?" asked Martin.
"You don't want to know."
"I don't give a fuck, actually, but common courtesy. Anyway, I need to talk to you. In private."
Thijmen was more than glad to leave them alone.
More than snow, he noticed, it was that annoying sleet but not quite, slippery slimy ground. Since Thijmen was gone, he had to use Martin as support. It was spooky. He'd been so thin he could've gouged someone's eye out with his shoulders a few months ago and now Benjamin actually felt muscle. He guessed Martin had also been doing more exercise. Once they'd reached what Benjamin assumed was meant to be a private spot at the yard, Benjamin said, "The bell is going to ring."
Martin shrugged.
"We're gonna be late to class."
"Sacrifices must be made."
"Let's go."
"We just got here. Listen. You and I are different. Different from the rest." Benjamin tried to walk away, but Martin seized him. "No, you shit. You're gonna do something with Thijmen, right? For Valentine's. Or for him. Whatever. I figured that—"
"No double date."
"Why not?"
"No. Ew. Let me go, you gay shit."
Martin ignored him. "Or we could, uh..."
The bell rang.
"Oh, shit."
"Yes."
"We're gonna be late."
"I told you."
"I wanted to do this without the losers who'll spend Valentine's Day alone."
Give a loser a date and he'll think he's not a loser anymore, said a wise man once (Thijmen). Now Benjamin saw why. Then again, when it came to Martin, this behavior was normal, if anything. Had his boyfriend been a math geek instead of a jock and Martin would've suddenly become a math enthusiast. Some people were like that, chameleons.
They weren't late to class.
"What happened to your face?" asked Heston.
"You don't want to know," replied Benjamin. The teacher walked inside. They didn't budge. A bunch of seniors walked inside to sell chocolates for some activity anyway. Benjamin felt like buying some for Thijmen, but that would be gay.
"Was it Thijmen?" asked Heston.
Benjamin hardly glared. Hardly and not never because of exceptions like these. Messiah facepalmed and Pi pretended to be too busy playing on his DS to listen. Martin guffawed. "No," he spat, "he's not a criminal."
"Knife."
"Stop."
"Then what happened?"
"I slipped on ice."
They broke out snickering. The seniors shut them up. Benjamin caught the unintentional Spongebob reference a bit too late. "Okay, but," continued Heston, looking away so he wouldn't burst out laughing again, "I've been seeing Thijmen at Mrs. Lee's office a lot lately."
"Who."
"Counselor," replied Messiah.
"You go to the counselor?" asked Pi.
Benjamin could see why.
"Maybe he's murdering people," said Heston.
"No."
"No."
"No."
"No."
But it got him thinking. Why, of course, he was aware part of the plan to supposedly 'fix' Thijmen was to have him regularly attend a counselor of sorts. He never really talked about it. The 'shut up' from that time at the back of the school still had Benjamin traumatized. Of course, they'd had enough bonding moments for Thijmen to just change the topic, but...
Martin groaned. "Great. Now we lost him."
Heston began picking his nose. Moments later, one of the seniors walked up to their desk and asked, "Is any of you going to buy chocolate?"
Benjamin would've usually bought for himself, anyway. Maybe his mom. He didn't say anything. Martin nudged him once, twice, then smacked him, which made Benjamin holler and smack him back. The senior stood there, waiting patiently, amidst two guys smacking each other and screeching, one guy picking his nose, one trying to calm them down and the other saying, "I want a bag, please."
Pi.
Benjamin and Martin shut up. "All right," said the senior, noting it down, "Anything else?"
Better Boyfriend™. "Six," said Benjamin.
"Whoa."
"Bennie taking other people into consideration is my kink."
"Thanks, Ben."
"Those are mine," corrected Benjamin, but now he felt bad, so he added, "and, uh, five more I guess."
The senior raised his eyebrows. "So eleven bags of chocolate?"
"Okay."
"Okay, as in...?"
"Yes, you gay shit."
It got the squad hollering, but the glare the senior gave him made Benjamin flinch. He broke out apologizing, but it was too late. "You're lucky you're Thijmen's boyfriend," hissed the guy before moving elsewhere.
"Right," mumbled Messiah.
They all turned to look at him.
"Has anyone noticed how we're kinda less, uh..."
"Socially rejected?"
"Thank you, Martin. Yeah, exactly. All because of Benjamin and Martin. Heston should get himself a jock boyfriend too so we're the new popular group."
"Okay," said Heston.
"Don't actually do it," warned Pi.
"Okay."
"Which reminds me," Martin broke in, "Ben, we should do something for our boys."
He was also getting more cringy.
"Aw, thanks," Heston said and put his hands to his heart.
Martin scowled at him. "I mean our boyfriends."
"Much appreciated," mumbled Pi.
"I mean fucking hell I mean Thighman and Theodore not you bunch of fucking losers fuck you all can wank to Benjamin's mom tomorrow for all I care."
Messiah was already preparing to shut Heston up, but this made him perk up. Smile, even. Benjamin sometimes forgot they were human. "You mean a date? Something like that? I can help!"
Pi put down his DS. "So we're their relationship committee now? Okay. Fair enough."
Heston said, "H—"
Messiah shut him up. "Right? Anyway, I can help. I used to set up dates for people in Club Penguin."
"I used to go on actual dates," added Pi, "I can help, too."
Benjamin bit his lip.
"I mean, let's think about it for a moment. Let's say you try to actually to do something nice for Thijmen and invite him on a date. Where would you go?"
He chewed on it.
"How about you, Martin?"
"His room," replied Martin.
"See? And last time Benjamin had a date he went to see birds. Because Heston said so. I, uh, we could actually help with a normal date this time. Not a double date, Martin."
"Whatever."
It wasn't a terrible idea. Having an actual, old-fashioned, non-bird date tomorrow? He'd planned on telling Thijmen to have a Netflix marathon. It'd count as a Good Boyfriend thing to do, too. Maybe Thijmen would be happy. Happy Thijmen made Benjamin happy. Ultimately, he ended up nodding, and just in time, for the seniors exited and the teacher finally began pretending to give class.
A squad-sponsored date. He could already see the whole thing backfiring.