Chapter 20
Travis didn’t see Josie again until Friday morning, since she wasn’t back from Arkansas in time to attend the rehearsal dinner on Thursday night. Arielle’s mother stood in for Josie during the walk-through, and Arielle said it was okay -- it wasn’t like there was anything complicated about walking down an aisle on a man’s arm.
Travis wished Josie had been there. He missed her that week.
However, their Friday work day was so jam packed that he barely got to say more than two words to her all day. She seemed distracted and disorganized, not like her at all. When they did manage to get a few minutes together, her eyes stared at him oddly, as if she was trying to figure out a physics problem in her head.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, gently taking her arm as she left Livie’s office that late afternoon, about to head home and then to Arielle’s bachelorette party.
“Everything,” she replied and slipped away from him. That was it. She skipped out of the studio before he could see her again.
Livie caught up with him before he left. “Hey,” she said. “You going to do something about that?”
“About what?”
Livie stared at him. “Arielle is right. You are a dumbass.” And she walked away from him, too.
Therefore, he got to his house, waiting for the guys to show up for Sam’s bachelor night, in a bad mood. He wasn’t the only one. Sam, usually so laid-back, arrived and pointed a finger at Travis.
“Trav...man, don’t ever get married.”
Travis almost gaped at him. “Okay,” he said.
Sam shook his head and made a beeline for the beer. “Arielle is driving me nuts. If she’s not fussing over the wedding, she’s fussing about Josie. I like the girl, I do. Josie’s great, the few times I’ve talked to her. But the chick must have some serious issues, from the way Ari keeps going on and on. Just sleep with her and put me out of my misery.”
Travis stared at him like he’d grown three extra heads. “I do hope you’re talking about Josie.”
And Sam looked at him like he was stupid. “Ari was right,” he said, and Travis knew what was coming out of the man’s mouth next, “You are a dumbass. I’m getting drunk tonight.”
“I’ll beat you to it,” Travis said and grabbed his own beer. Within the next ten minutes, his house was full of men complaining about their ladies, and Travis sat on his couch, going through the booze with Sam, and soon the alcohol worked its magic. The grumpiness evolved to laughter and a rather crazy night of potato chip poker.
Then the stripper showed up.
*****
Josie drove to Christy’s house for Arielle’s bacholerette party. She wasn’t in a good mood. She’d been thinking of how to talk to Travis about how she really felt about him, wanting to give him an ultimatum, but every scenario in her head turned out badly. She just wasn’t like that. She couldn’t make him love her, if he didn’t. And that made her grumpy.
Arielle was also grumpy. “Why do men have to be so damn stubborn?” she complained, walking in the door. “So I had a fight with the caterer! I just wanted cheese dip at my wedding, but the caterer and Sam both said it was too late to change the menu. Sam said he’d make me some damn cheese dip if I wanted cheese dip, and that was totally beside the point!”
Christy bit back her grin and asked, “So, what is the point?”
Arielle stomped over to the side table of Christy’s dining room and poured a glass of wine. “The point is…!” She drank deeply and sulked. “The point is Sam makes horrible cheese dip.”
Christy finally grinned and said to Josie, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was pregnant again.”
Arielle said, “I’m not pregnant.” She drained her glass. “I got my damn period. Happy Honeymoon, here I come!”
“Ah,” Christy said. “And that’s the real point.”
The other bridesmaids, introduced as Lora, Natalie and Darlene, snickered. One said, “There are other things to do than regular sex.”
“I know that!” Arielle said. “But I want something more than just my boobs played with!”
Christy said, “Get a cup.”
“A what?”
Christy rolled her eyes. “A cup. It’s kind of like a diaphragm, only it’s for when you’re on your period. Blocks everything from coming out. You don’t even feel it in there.”
Arielle gazed at her thoughtfully. “Does it work? No gross sex?”
“I’ve been using one for years,” Christy said. “You can buy one at the drugstore around the corner. They’re like fifty dollars.”
Arielle put down her wine glass. “Who’s driving me to the store?”
Since every hand held a drink of some sort, except Josie, all those glasses pointed at Josie. Arielle grinned. “Looks like you’re the winner. Let’s go. I’ll buy you one, too.”
Josie blinked at her. The way her lovelife was going, a menstrual cup was not on her list of priorities. But she drove Arielle to the drugstore anyway. “I’ll buy it,” Josie told Arielle. “Consider it a wedding gift, since I haven’t gotten you anything yet.”
“Hey, thanks, Bestie,” Arielle said. “I wish I found out about these things earlier. I get so horny on my period. That’s the gross part...being all ‘Give It To Me Now’ when all that yuck is flowing out. Sam will be happy...he likes me when I’m horny. Doesn’t care so much for it when I’m on my period at the same time, but now we’ll just have to get past the part where we’re thinking about the fact that I’m flowing like the Nile.”
Josie giggled. “Please stop...I know too much about you now.”
Arielle grinned back, and they walked the aisles of the drugstore, looking for the contraceptives. “Okay...the pink or the purple?” Arielle asked, finding the boxes of menstrual cups and picking up a few.
Josie shook her head. “Considering the fact on where that thing will be located, I doubt color options are imperative.”
“True,” Arielle agreed. “Pink it is. My favorite color.”
“Good choice.”
“Want one, too?”
Josie looked at her. “Why?”
Arielle waggled her eyebrows. “Hey, you never know...Travis might find himself interested at the wrong time.”
“I don’t want to talk about Travis,” Josie said, walking toward the check out counter.
“You never want to talk about Travis anymore,” Arielle said behind her. “Don’t give up on him, Josie. He’s in love with you, he just has to figure it out.”
Josie stopped walking and sighed. “Ari…” She closed her eyes and breathed. “Let’s get you married and onto Pink Nile bliss, and then maybe Travis and I can sit down and discuss this...this...hell, I don’t even know what this is. But he won’t listen to anything concerning this until you’re settled.”
“Talk?! Talk about it? Haven’t you two done enough talking?” Arielle groused. “Jump the guy! He’s kissed you enough times, he should be open for a little more than that.”
Josie turned to her. “Arielle, I don’t want him just open. I want him sure and assertive. Every time I’ve pushed in the past, he backs away. After you're married and he has calmed down about that fact, I will sit him down and tell him exactly how I feel and what I want, and if he backs away again, I’m done. He hopped off his train and knows I’m here...I’m not chasing the man to Vietnam, so when he gets back from that war inside him, he’ll either have to find me, or I find some other soldier on the train. I’m giving him a month.”
Arielle blinked, total confusion in her dark eyes. “Travis is going to Vietnam?”
Josie sighed, herded her toward the check-out and said, “I’ll explain later. Let’s get back to the party.”
Arielle let Josie pay for the cup, and in the car, the bride-to-be was still confused and frowning in the most dramatic ways. Finally, she shrugged and said, “I heard Sam’s brother hired a stripper for the bachelor party at Travis’ house tonight.”
Josie nearly ran off the road.
*****
The stripper’s name was Ivory...or so she said. David, Sam’s brother, got into the show with enthusiasm. Travis and Sam stayed back, along with the rest of the men there, who were all married. They knew what would happen if this got back to their womenfolk. Not that Travis had a woman at the moment, but he immediately thought about Josie and what she would say.
Probably just ask if I enjoyed myself…
He smirked to himself. He could almost see her at a strip club. Two images ran through his mind, the sweet innocence he’d spied a few times, with her blushing and avoiding any eye contact with the working dancers...or the blatant curiosity in her eyes as she watched with acute interest. Travis couldn’t decide which he’d prefer.
Of course, then he got the picture of Josie running her hands over her beautiful body as she stripped in front of him, but the fantasy kept evolving to her wearing her yoga shorts, bending in one of her impossible poses as her glorious green eyes beckoned him, and in his mind, he went to her and stripped her himself just before he laid her down on her pink yoga mat and...
Jesus! Travis roughly shook himself out of that daydream before someone thought he was getting excited over Ivory.
Then David announced that the Groom got a lap-dance on the house, and Sam jerked in his chair and said, “Like hell I do! This groom wants to actually get married tomorrow.”
David whined, “But she’s paid up for another twenty minutes!” And Ivory stood in the middle of the living room, wearing less fabric than a handkerchief, studying her black glittery fingernails in a bored way. Sam said, “Let someone else have the lap-dance,” and the room suddenly emptied of all wife-fearing males, with the exception of Sam, David and Travis.
Sam said to David, “You have another dance,” and Ivory chimed up with, “One dance per person...boss’s rules.”
Sam and David turned to Travis.
Travis choked on his beer. “I’m good...I don’t need one.”
Ivory eyed the three of them. “Somebody gets a second dance,” she said. “Or I don’t get paid my full amount.”
Travis asked, “Boss’s rules again?”
“That’s right, honey,” she said, and he returned with, “You need a different boss.”
The woman jutted out a hip and glared at him. “Listen...I just have to go back and say I rubbed my ass on your junk, and that’s all.”
Sam and David seemed to enjoy this exchange, but Travis was getting annoyed with her. “Can’t you lie?”
“Honey, I might not have the most respectful job in the world, but I respect myself. I don’t lie.”
“If you respected yourself,” Travis said, “You’d get a different job.”
Ivory cocked her head to the side with attitude. “What song would you like, honey?”
Travis finished off his beer. “‘A Spoonful Of Sugar’,” he said to be difficult about this. Ivory picked up her music player. “Coming right up,” she said and selected the song.
Sam made a noise in the back of his throat. “You have that?”
Ivory shrugged. “Some customers are wacko like that.” She raised a pointedly sarcastic eyebrow at Travis as she started to dance to the song.
As a woman began to sing, who thankfully was not Julie Andrews, because that would just be weird, Travis was so shocked over the whole thing, his brain didn’t catch up with the situation until he found Ivory’s string-clad ass on his lap. He jumped up as quick as he could with a grown woman gyrating on him. “I’m done,” he said. “There is no way I can sit there while you do that to that song.”
“Fine,” she said. “Technically, it was a lap-dance. I'll just stand here for the next ten minutes, then be on my way."
“You guys are no fun,” David grumped and stared goofy-eyed at Ivory. She rolled her eyes heavenward and ignored him after that.
Sam looked at Travis and said, “I’m not drunk enough for this.” Travis agreed and they went into the kitchen where the rest of the party gathered.
*****
Two hours later, six bottles of wine between the five ladies present, and a seriously drunken game of Pin-The-Dong-On-The-Kong after getting back from the drugstore, Arielle unwrapped her third sheer-lace babydoll outfit -- this one in hot pink -- and said, “Why do I get the feeling everyone here thinks I should get laid more often?”
Christy said, “It’s a bacholerette party. You’re supposed to get lingerie.”
Arielle smiled and set the wisp of pink fabric aside. “What I can really use is socks.”
“Socks?”
“Yes...I like my socks. Knee-high ones in funky colors. Sam likes me in those...and nothing else,” Arielle said, her smile growing wicked.
Josie laughed and tossed her the next gift. “That one is from me...Sam should like it.”
Arielle ripped into the package and pulled out a pair of pink, tie-dyed knit stockings that rose only to mid-thigh, held up there with feathery garters. “Socks!” Arielle cried out, flapping them in the air. “Yes!”
“A little longer than knee-highs,” Josie said, “but I thought they were perfect for you.”
Arielle kicked off her shoes and dropped her studded jeans to her ankles. “Oh, my god...Ari!” Christy called out. “What are you doing?”
“Trying them on,” Arielle said, swaying slightly to the left as she tried to pull her legs out of her jeans.
Of all the women there with the bride, Josie imagined her eyes were popping out the furthest. Arielle -- more than just a little tipsy on wine at this point -- sat on the floor of Christy’s living room in a green-lace tank top and rose-pink underwear, and shimmied her toes into the new stockings, rolling them up as far as they would go on her legs.
“What do you think?” Arielle announced, hopping up and parading around the room. A camera flashed, and everyone turned to Christy, who was grinning at her phone.
“I think I’ll send this to Sam,” she said.
“Wait!” Arielle said and ran over to rummage through the mound of gift boxes and tissue paper. She removed the virgin white teddy that one of her other bridesmaids got her, the princess crown from Christy and a pair of platform silver heels from Sam’s mother -- that had been awkward -- and started to assemble her costume, right there in front of her sister and bridesmaids who were all laughing and eventually had to help the bride get dressed.
“Okay...now,” Arielle said, posing like Madonna in her “Vogue” video. Christy took the picture and they all gathered around to inspect the image before sending it to Sam’s phone.
Ten minutes later, Sam sent back a message saying, “Beautiful, baby.” And a picture of guys sitting around Travis’ kitchen table.
Arielle said, “They are not just sitting around playing poker. Where’s the stripper?”
Josie saw the picture and her eyes immediately drank in Travis, who had on his charming, crooked smile, and she thought, Damn.
“Let’s ask him,” Christy said and typed the question.
“Travis scared her off,” Sam returned.
And Josie found everyone turning to her. “What?” she asked. Am I that obvious?
Christy said, "Either he shoved her out the door or he got a little grabby during the show."
Arielle wobbled and fell in Josie's lap. "He shoved her out the door," she said. "He wouldn't get grabby; he's such a prude."
Josie opened her mouth to dispute that, but Natalie beat her to it, saying, "Oh, no...he's not," as she blushed bright red and peeked guiltily at Josie.
Josie blinked. Say what?
Natalie added, "We dated a few times last year...but nothing happened, I swear. He was sweet and nice, but definitely not a prude."
"Okay," Josie said slowly, frowning. "I guess that's nice to know."
Darleen asked, "Are you really dating him? He's so hot...I could eat him up with a side of fudge."
Josie turned her frown to her. "Um...no."
"But Ari said--"
"Ari said what?" Josie asked, now turning to Ari.
"Ari," Arielle stated calmly, "Ari said Travis is off the market, because you have claimed him."
"I can't claim him," Josie argued. "He isn't a thing. He's a man--"
"Yes, he is," Darleen sighed. And Christy included, "All man."
Josie looked at Christy. "You're married."
"Yup...but I ain't blind," Christy said, winking. Then she laughed. "We're just messing with you, Josie. We all adore Travis. He's a great guy. You're one lucky chick."
"I'm not--". Josie began, but Arielle jumped up and announced, "Let's do drunken yoga! Josie! Teach us that Karma sultry stuff."
Christy groaned. "It's Kama Sutra, and we need mixed company for that."
"I don't want an orgy," Arielle said. "I want Josie to explain the posy-thingies. Here...I brought a book."
She retrieved a small paperback from her purse and flipped through it. “Show us this,” she said, thrusting a page in Josie’s face. Josie calmly took the book and read the cover.
Then she started laughing. “Ari! This isn’t real Kama Sutra! It isn’t even Tantra yoga.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s some guy’s fantasy book,” Josie said, scanning through the nude photo inside. “Where did you get this?”
“The lady at the sex shop recommended it,” Ari said. “Is it bad?”
“It’s not bad, I guess,” Josie said, tossing it back to her. “But it’s definitely not accurate. Kama Sutra is about the goals of life, the true goal being a master of your senses, and Tantra yoga is about gaining a deeper connection with your partner. Yes, there are positions for sex, but the philosophy of the two is what counts.”
Arielle frowned. “So...I can’t just do this backward bend thing and get my mind blown?”
Josie giggled. “You do that backward bend thing, and you’ll end up in the hospital. Most people’s bodies are not capable of doing some of those positions. Why do you want to know this stuff? Just to spice up your sex life?”
Christy snorted. “If you’ve heard half the things she’s told me about Sam in bed...she doesn’t need spicy.”
Arielle grinned. “He is really good in bed. Likes everything. E-ver-y-thing. I’m so lucky.”
“Too much information,” Josie said. Then she shook her head and said, “Listen, if you want a good book to read about Tantra yoga, I can recommend one.”
“Show me something now,” Arielle whined. “While I’m still drunk enough to not regret it.”
Josie closed her eyes and scrunched up her face. She wasn’t drunk enough to not regret this, but… “Fine! I will show you one thing, but I don’t want to know how well it works with Sam, you understand?”
“Yay!” Arielle clapped happily. “What is it?”
Taking a deep breath -- I can’t believe I’m doing this! -- Josie said, “It’s called Yab Yum.”
“What yum?”
“Yab Yum,” Josie said. “It’s kind of like a, uh, hug on the floor.”
“This should be good,” Christy said, and the bridesmaids nodded. They were all drunk enough to enjoy this. But Josie had to drive home. She stopped drinking after her second glass of wine...two hours ago.
Arielle dropped to the middle of the living room floor and held her hands up. “Okay...hug me!”
“I’m sooo going to regret this later,” Josie said and knelt down in front of her. “Okay...um...I guess I’ll be Sam?”
“Not on your life,” Arielle said. “You be Josie and just show me what to do.”
“Well, I kind of have to do this with you, because...uh, you’re on top.”
“I like it on top,” Arielle said, and Christy and the girls started snickering.
Josie closed her eyes again, found her center and took a deep breath. “Okay...okay…” She sat in front of Arielle, with her legs crossed. “Okay, this is called Sukhasana, or Easy Pose--”
“Criss-cross applesauce,” Arielle said, mimicking Josie’s seated position.
“Right,” Josie said. “But you don’t do this. Sam does.”
“I’m liking this already,” Arielle said, grinning. “What do I do?”
“You...well, you sit on top of him,” Josie said, showing Arielle with her hands. “Legs around and soles of feet meeting, and hugging him, and--”
“Wait...that’s it?” Arielle said. “You mean...I just sit on him...like this?”
And she crawled up in Josie’s lap, wrapping her pink-stocking-clad legs around Josie’s waist. Josie closed her eyes and breathed again.
“Yes, just like that,” she told Arielle. “But there’s more to it than just sitting here.” And she went on to explain how the man and woman are face to face, heart to heart, bodies entwined, sharing their souls as well as their bodies, and --
“When do we get to the sex part?” Arielle asked.
Christy made a sound in her throat...a half-laugh, half-choke.
“We don’t get to the sex part at all,” Josie said sternly. “But you and Sam can do things like this--”
“Like what?” Arielle asked, “Because I’m fairly sure we've done it this way before.”
“How about I get you that book that describes it all?” Josie suggested, and pushed gently on Arielle to get her off of her legs, but then another flash lit up the room, and both seated women, and the bridesmaids on the couches turned to stare at Christy again.
“You didn’t,” Josie said, seeing the cell phone in Christy’s hands.
And Arielle gasped. “You did, didn’t you?! You’d better erase that!”
Christy grinned and rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I’m going to send it to anyone.”
Arielle scrambled over to her sister, reaching for the phone. “Give it to me...I’ll delete it.”
“In your state, you’ll delete half my pictures,” Christy said, holding the phone out of reach. “Don’t you even want to see it before I delete it? You two look cute.”
“Give it to me!” Arielle screamed and grabbed the phone. Both sisters wrestled with it...until it beeped, and both froze.
“Uh oh,” Christy said, looking at the screen.
“What?” Josie said, dread filling her body.
Arielle and Christy looked over at Josie. “I think we sent it to Sam,” Arielle said. She snatched the phone from her sister and examined it. “Crap! We did. Sam would get a kick out of it, but if he shows Travis…”
Josie laid down on the floor. Travis. This couldn’t be happening.
“Sorry, Ari,” Christy said, shame coloring her voice. “It was just a joke. Josie? Really, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Josie said and put a smile on her face as she sat up again. “Maybe both of them will get a kick out of it.”
Arielle started typing. “I’m telling Sam not to show that to anyone. If he does…”
“Then we have the wine to blame,” Josie said and went over to take a look at the photo. She laughed when she saw it. The look on her face, resigned and embarrassed at the same time, and the look on Arielle’s face, flushed with alcohol and slightly smiling…
Okay, for her first bachelorette party...that’s a memory she’d never forget. “Send me a copy, too,” she told Christy.
*****
Right about the time Arielle crawled up on Josie, Sam, Travis and the rest of the guys stared down at David, passed out on the kitchen floor in a drunken stupor. No amount of nudging would wake him.
And since boys would be boys...the duct tape came out.
“Not on the skin,” Sam instructed as layers of tape confined his brother to the linoleum floor. “Arielle will kill me if he has rash marks all over himself tomorrow.”
Twenty minutes later, David laid there, drooling, in a gray cocoon. Sam grinned at Travis...and the cell phones came out. Each captured his own image of the dormant man, and Sam said, “Oh, hey...Ari sent me another picture.”
Travis bent to take a better picture of David’s slackened face, and Sam whistled low. “Now, that’s hot. Want to see, Trav?”
“If it’s Arielle...no.”
“Josie is in it, too.”
Travis stood up quickly. “Okay.” Sam showed the screen to Travis. Travis blinked at Josie and Arielle sitting on the floor together, holding each other, the mother of his child plus the woman responsible for his last, non-morning erection, and he said, “No...that’s wrong.”
“Hang on,” Sam said. “She sent a message, too.” Sam’s grin slowly fell away. “Crap...uh, Travis? You never saw that picture, okay? Never. If you say you did, then I’ll duct tape you naked to a flagpole, got it?”
“What?” Travis said, and now the rest of the guys were interested on the mysterious picture. Sam quickly erased it from his phone.
“Arielle said not to show it to you...so, you never saw it, right? I mean it, man...she’ll get me good for showing it to you.”
Travis grunted. “What could Arielle possibly do?”
“Withhold sex for a month,” Sam said, and someone else whistled.
“A whole month, huh?” Travis said, thinking about his three years of abstinence. “Sucks to be you.”
“Come on, Trav,” Sam pleaded. “Don’t do this to me.”
Travis chuckled. “I’m screwing with you. I have no idea what picture you’re talking about.”
Sam let out a sigh of relieve. “Thanks.”
“But you owe me,” Travis said.
“Okay…” Sam said suspiciously. “What do you want?”
Travis kicked David’s foot. “Next time we have a guy’s night...don’t tell your brother so we can go hang out at a real casino.”
Sam laughed. “Not a problem. He is my brother, and I love him, but we’re really not that close.”
“Good,” Travis said, stepping over David to go to the living room. “Is it too late to order pizza?”