Darkest Before Dawn
Victor
"Sang!" Mr Blackbourne's shout echoed throughout the room. Even so, I found that I couldn't even breathe enough to copy him. I couldn't move, couldn't speak.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from Sang.
Devastation such that I had never felt before in my life threatened to consume me. Our bond, a constant that had provided some measure of comfort, felt as if it was gone. I didn't even realize how much I had taken it for granted, and now, I felt nothing. No emotions, no presence, no spirit, no sense of the life that was my princess.
I felt as if I was dying.
I didn't understand how this was possible. Blood bindings were supposed to be unbreakable. But... maybe I was wrong, maybe it wasn't gone. Could we still be bound and no longer feel her emotions? I didn't think so, but I was not an expert on this subject.
But then again, if the bond had been broken why was Efrain still standing? The nearly clear color of Luke's barrier was still present as well.
She was still using our abilities. It couldn't be broken. But then...
Kota and Mr Blackbourne - along with Dr Green - were the ones who knew the most about blood bonds. And the three of them seemed to be on the verge of furious retribution. So that probably wasn't a good sign.
And Sang...
She had collapsed onto the ground, seemingly unconscious. Yet, I couldn't get over how close she looked to dead. However, what was even more startling was the shape that hovered over her still form.
It was Sang, but it was also not her too. Sang's eyes - which been curious and full of life before the events of the past few days - had taken on a glassy quality. She only stared unseeing in our direction. Her hair drifted around her eerily, almost appearing as if she were underwater.
She looked like a wraith.
Even if he had been highly distraught at the sight, Mr Blackbourne still didn't miss a beat. "You are only stalling the inevitable. Even if you do win the games through this display, to what end? You cannot possibly think you'll make it out of here alive now."
"I don't care about any of that anymore. This is about knowledge. Everything is all part of the greater good. Aren't any of you even curious about what she - a child born of both Gentreau and Sorenson genes - can do?" Efrain, looking smug as ever, drawled. "This is why people like me exist, you know. Someone needs to be willing to put in the dirty work needed to advance our species."
Rage and remorse consumed me as the extent of my patience was exhausted. I should have killed him a long time ago. Instead, I had let him get away. At the time I had been worried about Sang.
My fear had caused me to react first, without seeing the whole picture. And because of that, Sang had been hurt by him. She was under his control.
I was lost. Everything I believed I knew, was nothing in comparison to the pain that seeing this caused. I had always thought that I knew what being a puppet felt like. After all, I had, for so many years, been subject to my own parents' whims as they tried to gain notoriety among the elite.
I was from district three. My family's wealth and influence paled in comparison to those who were born and raised in the capital. And in our society, military power came before social graces.
People born in the Capital, such as Mr Blackbourne and Kota, were raised to be leaders. My other brothers, besides Dr Green, were soldiers from districts one and two. Then there was district three.
We were in the medical research and technology hub of the nation. Innovation met reality there, and the rest of the nation benefited from it. We were also nestled in, argumentatively, some of the most scenic areas of the nation. Therefore the wealthy, and especially members of the Capital, vacationed there frequently.
Because of this, wealth and social standing were important for making an impression. My family happened to have an abundance of both.
The Morgan family operated one of the largest entertainment chains in the nation. Our business was a franchise of the Blackbourne families, of course. Seeing as though everything regarding information was their specialty.
Our role didn't stop my father from wanting the Morgan line to stand out. To become better. He became obsessed with turning me into the perfect family lead. So I had been trained to recognize and replicate all manner of patterns and code.
It began with music and languages. My parents drove me to read, repeat, and create. It became important to showcase my multilingual skills during their parties. It became my life to play the piano - pieces that were all but gone from the world - to an audience. It gave them bragging rights - something to show off.
My skills also happened to help me with the mastery of my ability.
Technology-based abilities were rare. They were also useless. Unless, of course, you understood the codes and patterns that you were working with. And I had spent a very long time learning everything.
The only other family that I was aware of who had similar abilities were the Henshaw twins. Corey's abilities remained focused on data manipulation, while Brandon's on mechanical manipulation. They used their abilities to destroy or create in their specialities. But, unlike theirs, my ability was a different sort.
And it was all useless here anyway, everything that I had worked for in my life - and nothing mattered.
I could almost feel my fury as it pulsed beneath my skin. I wasn't a patient person to begin with - that was why I worked so hard at it. It was why I had stepped back these last few days, and had let my brothers take control. I only wanted to focused on Sang.
Because I hadn't trusted myself not to lose control. Because I wanted him dead right away.
That chance was now gone, and now I was so ridiculously helpless. My bow had broken in the blast, and I had never been the fastest or strongest. But I was angry, so angry. I wanted to rip apart something with my bare hands. If only I had the chance again, fuck orders...
"Attention tributes," the now-familiar tones of the gamemaker echoed throughout the arena. The interruption was unexpected enough to cause everyone to pause.
My heart thudded in fear and expectation. There was no way for things to become any worse. So maybe - just maybe - we'd finally catch a break. After all, with everything that was happening with Sang...
Even Hendricks couldn't be that heartless.
The voice droned on, hardly pausing after getting our attention. "As you know, tomorrow marks two weeks since the games have begun. Due to the very special nature of this year's event, and the success of our test trial, we are adding a new challenge. After this announcement, tributes will be able to use their abilities. There will only be one limitation. Those with long range abilities will not be able to use them past the perimeter of the battlegrounds. Your collars will become inactive in one minute."
The silence following the announcement was heavy. No one even uttered a word as the implications sunk in. I wasn't sure if this was being done to help, or because Hendricks was trying to justify Sang using her abilities.
But the reason didn't matter. Because now we had a chance.
North still wouldn't be able to break through Sang's barrier, but there was still hope. We needed to get through to her. We only needed that shield to fall for one second. Then we could do it.
A plan had already begun to form. I glanced at Mr Blackbourne, wondering if he also had worked through the implications. He met my eyes and nodded.
Hope filled me. We could make this work.
While even without our abilities we were in a position to win these games. It would have been harder. When we accepted our mission, we knew the likelihood that we'd come out without injuries was slim to none. However, with Sang involved the stakes had changed.
And she had been the one to suffer this entire time. Protecting another person was harder than protecting yourself, but that was no excuse. So far we'd been doing a terrible job at keeping her safe.
But now, thanks to this turn of events, I would be able to contribute. My breathing became heavy as I counted down the seconds until we would be free. Finally.
Within moments, we'd have eyes and ears everywhere. Anywhere there was a camera, a microphone, or a similar technology would be fair game. I'd know what was going on anywhere on the field.
Of course, scanning didn't help at this very second. But it would give us information. I only had to believe that Mr Blackbourne had a plan, and the others were ready to act at any time.
I glanced around the room, tearing my eyes away from Sang's form. Now that I had something to focus on, I could breathe again. I had things to find out. And it was there, at a camera that was hidden beside the entrance, where I would start.
Sang
"Wake up."
A familiar voice touched on the edge of my consciousness. Calling me. But it was nothing that roused me enough to want to respond. After all, I was content right where I was.
"Darling, you need to wake up now." She was more insistent, louder now.
I tried to block the sound. Whoever the owner of the voice was, she spoke with a sense of urgency, but I didn't understand why. I only wanted to sleep in this safe place. There was no pain here. No sadness. No feelings at all.
I couldn't go back to the way that I was before... It hurt too much.
"Sang-"
"No..." I could hardly hear myself, and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that talking should be painful. But then again, I couldn't figure out why that would be either.
It didn't matter though. It seemed like it would be a painful thing to remember, so why would I want to know anyway?
It would be better for me to remain here.
"Sang!"
The tone shocked through me, and my eyes popped open in response. Through the cloud that blanketed my mind, I knew that I knew her. Only one emotion made its way through.
Desperation.
She was here - somewhere in this sterile, white room. How could I not have known? I should have recognized that voice anywhere. Breathing heavily, I glanced around as I searched for someone whom I'd never thought I would see again.
The person who gave their life to protect me.
"Mama?" It was pointless. There was nothing here, and no way that I had missed a whole person in my search. After all, it would be impossible to hide anywhere in a place barren except for walls and lights.
But I knew that I had heard her. She was here. She had to be. "Mama, where are you?"
I knew it. Everyone had been wrong this whole time. She was alive.
"What are you still doing here?" A new, low voice sounded from behind me.
I jumped, spinning to see a very tall, red-headed man staring down at me. He seemed familiar somehow, but I couldn't place him. But he was looking at me as if I should know who he was and what he wanted.
But he didn't matter. He wasn't important. I only wanted Mama.
"Where's my Mama?" My voice sounded young to my ears. Then again I didn't know why I would think that either. My mind was muddled, and nothing made sense. All I wanted was for everything to be right again...
He scrunched his eyebrows together as he gave me a critical look. "Why are you playing around in this place? You have shit that you need to do. You look ridiculous, by the way."
This wasn't real, was it? Why would a giant leprechaun be insulting me in my dreams?
I hugged myself in response. The floor-length gown and the scratchy fabric reminded me that this was real. It was strange, because I knew that I should be feeling something right now. But so many things seemed to be right outside of my reach. It was hard to muster up the courage to focus on anything outside of numbness.
Even the desperation... I couldn't recall why I had felt that way. The knowledge seemed to slip through my fingers. After all, my Mama was dead. There was no way that she was here. So there was no reason to care.
Yet there was something tugging at me too. Something about this man.
I didn't like him.
His presence somehow threatened the quiet that I so desperately sought. And even the way that he judgmentally examined me caused my hackles to rise.
Another emotion touched me - annoyance.
Who was he to come here in my space and act so high and mighty? It wasn't much, but this outfit was all that I had here. And for the life of me, I didn't understand what was so wrong with what I was doing.
Didn't I deserve some peace?
He sighed and began to rub at the back of his neck. "I can't fucking believe that I still have to deal with this baby shit. I've already gotten saddled with one squalling infant because of your mess. I don't need another. Where's a nursemaid when you need one?"
"That's not a very nice thing to say. You aren't a nice person, are you?" I interrupted him, offended that he would say such mean things. Plus, there wasn't anyone else here. Babies. So I had no idea what he meant.
Besides, he was wrong. "Besides, I'm not a child."
The strange man blinked at my declaration before smirking in response. "Well then, at least there's that."
I narrowed my eyes at him, and I barely noticed that he didn't seem quite as tall as before. My outfit seemed to have shrunk in the last few minutes, only coming to my knees now.
But none of that was important. All I knew was that there was something that I desperately had to say to him. It was even more important than going back to sleep.
"You're really mean, you stupid-head."
"I'm pleased that you think so." He looked relieved even though I was glaring at him with my angriest face. My fury didn't seem to faze him in the least however. Instead, he only raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you finished playing around here?"
What was he talking about. I wasn't playing around. I was-
What was I doing?
"What do you want from me?" I asked, suddenly afraid of his answer. I had done something bad just by talking to him, I was certain. I was supposed to be asleep. Why was I responding?
I would get into trouble if he didn't go away.
"I want you to go back, obviously." He smirked at me again, "As per course, it seems as though the Blackbourne team can't do anything without my help. So it looks like you and I are going to need to take care of things by ourselves."
"B- Blackbourne?"
Why did that name sound so familiar. Why did the word seem to make my chest swell with both fear and longing? I didn't want to feel - the very act of feeling would hurt me.
I didn't want to do anything. "Go away."
"Too bad, I can't do that." The man replied, and a slight frown touched his lips before he continued. "You're stronger than that - stronger than what they even think. And you need to snap out of this shit before you do something irreparable." He stepped towards me and raised his hand until his fingertips touched my forehead.
I wanted to run away, to hide, to not become a part of whatever it was that he was doing. He was scary, he was annoying, and I only wanted to remain blissfully unawares.
I wanted him to leave me alone.
But before I could do anything - everything came back.
Wave upon wave of angst, turmoil, and fear raced through me. Almost until I felt as though I'd be consumed with the weight of it. Something snapped, I didn't know what. A place within me, empty a moment before, overflowed as emotions ran into each other.
Were they my emotions, things that I had been feeling all this time? I wasn't sure. There were too many - how could one person feel so much and still remain whole? My heart tugged - I was being torn into so many pieces.
I gasped as the emotions ebbed into barely-there awareness. In the aftermath, memories of recent events surfaced from the depths of my consciousness. Something warred within me, a fear of feeling and a desire to know.
I remembered my boys, and I knew that I loved them. That I cared. But feeling, I couldn't feel anything. It hurt.
They needed to be locked away, not to be touched. Because if I delved into that, then I'd be opening myself up to something that I didn't want to face.
I had hurt someone, I think. And someone had hurt me, they were scary. They could hurt me again.
But still, something was missing. Something with the bond.
"Still so stubborn." Chet frowned at me, stepping back. "But at least it's a start."
"Chet?" I glanced at him. "What's going on? You... died?"
"A slight mishap. It works out better this way though - at least for this plan. Good thing we thought about this years ago." Chet waved his hand in the air - as if he was unconcerned about such trivial matters. "Didn't I tell you before to not forget what your family specialized in? Why are you being so stubborn about this? Didn't you promise to listen to me?"
"What do you-" Another piece of awareness dawned, and I sucked in a breath. "Aethikinesis. Spirit magic..." How I could communicate with Danielle... "What's happening - am I projecting now?"
Chet seemed pleased. "So that fool did tell you something after all. Good to know."
That didn't make any sense. We were still tributes - as far as I knew. I shouldn't be able to use my abilities. "...How? What's happened with my bond?"
"Blood-bonds are based on compatibility. Your bond with the idiot is based on trust, and that includes opening up to your emotions. After all, you have to trust someone in order to be honest about how you feel." Chet frowned, as if remembering something unpleasant, before he studied me.
That didn't make any sense. I thought I trusted the boys, but I want to feel anything right now. That was different. I should still be able to feel them, right?
He must have seen something that he didn't like, because he only sighed. "Anyway, your bond with Volto is different. It's dormant, unless activated. It is based on control. It was never meant to be used in that way, but it's purpose was perverted. Now agents use it to break down the emotional will of the subjects, so that they no longer even resist."
Chet's musings trailed off and he glanced at me again. "All bonds are a two way street. I'm surprised Owen hadn't realized it yet. Right now you are acting on conditioning. But technically you do have a choice."
I had no idea what he was talking about. How could he say that I had a choice. He was sadly mistaken. "Where am I?"
"He can't get into this place." Chet replied. "Part of your ability is to project your spirit, after all. You can control where you go. Even through all of this, you've been fighting back. It seems as though you've learned to protect a piece of yourself. They haven't gotten all of you. I wonder if they even know..."
"But where am I?"
"Someplace safe, apparently." He shrugged. "I don't know where here is exactly. I am pretty sure that you created this place. It has your sense of style. It was a pain in the ass to follow you here, you know. I'd never been able to do it if I was alive. Do you see it?"
He wasn't making any sense. Even now he still refused to give me a straight answer. "See what?"
"The exit." Chet leveled an even look at me. "You have to go back before you do something else idiotic."
But why would I want to go back?
Past Chet, a doorway appeared. I hadn't even noticed it before, or maybe it had never been there in the first place. I wasn't sure. But something past that door caused fear to taint my peace.
"Why-"
"Because you have people who care about you, and you like them. For god-only-knows what reason. You could have done so much better." Chet responded. "Plus, this isn't you. I'd much rather be smothered in the sludge of your syrupy-sweet emotions as you make eyes at each other, than this. All that tension, even as disgusting as it might be, is still better."
"I don't want to go." I stared at the door, ignoring Chet's words. "You don't have to be smothered in anything. I didn't think ghosts could use their abilities. You don't have to stick around here, if you have other places to be. Just let me be."
"I can't do that. Unfortunately for you and I both, I made a promise too." He replied in a dry tone. "And I follow through in what I say, unlike a certain someone. Plus, I'm special."
What did he mean by special?
But, suddenly, he was behind me - pushing me towards the door. My strength was no match for his, and I found myself moving closer with every step. Something pounded at the edge of my awareness - feelings both good and bad.
I didn't want the bad. If I left this place, I'd be one step closer to there. I didn't want to go. I couldn't feel that again. "No, I-"
"Stop being so boring." We had reached our destination, and Chet crossed in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "You're still the same little girl that yelled at me and broke my nose, right?"
Wait...
The overflowing pressure in my chest froze as I stared at him in response. When had I broken his nose? I didn't remember that at all. "When-"
"Ok, then get to it."
And without another word Chet opened the door and pushed me into the darkness.
Silas
After what felt like the longest minute of my life, we were free. Not that it mattered much, considering that Luke's shield was still in place. But one step at a time.
We were one step closer to finishing this, one step closer for me to have my aggele safe in my arms again.
Victor had vanished, already at work somewhere behind me. Gathering information. Searching for something, anything that we might be able to use. Not that there were a lot of options at this point. But hell...
If necessary, I'd drag the Hendricks spawn in here and throw him at Sang. Sure, she had broken the nullification collar once before, but she had to be running low on energy. Maybe another dosage of it would be enough to force that fucking shield to drop.
After all, that was one thing that we had learned from Luke's past. The power of the Hendrick's line was the only thing that could make it past his defenses. However, even with Victor on the case, it could take too long for that plan to even work. Sang wouldn't be able to hold on for that length of time.
Would that bastard drain her until she lost her mind? Or would her powers give out first, giving us the opening we needed?
Just how powerful was she?
"Well, that's unprecedented." Efrain remarked in response to the release of our abilities. His voice tinged with mild curiosity, but no concern. "Not that it matters much, in the end." His eyes shifted towards my Sang, and I fought the overwhelming urge to threaten him. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. North and Gabriel were doing enough loud cursing to make the point.
The μαλάκας only raised his eyebrow, not even choosing to respond my brother's threats. His focus remained fixedly on Sang. "Two. Trova."
The air shifted in anticipation, and for a split second, nothing happened. But less than a breath later, the air whirled around Sang - or rather, her spirit - and she had vanished.
My mouth went dry and my fingers numb. I had never been this afraid before, and that included the time when Theo almost killed our family. My heart hurt, and it didn't make any sense. My abilities were working. The familiar sensation had soothed the aches accumulated in the last two weeks. I should be immune to pain.
But aggele mou was gone. The only thing left was the empty shell of her beaten body as it lay on the ground at that bastard's feet. Even though it was hard to think from fear, we couldn't let the opportunity pass by. If Sang wasn't here, then perhaps there was a chance...
I would kill him.
As if we all had thought the same thing, we rushed towards Efrain. Hoping that the translucent barrier that had separated us from her had vanished in her wake.
But we were wrong.
North and Dr Green, the first to get near, had violently slammed into the wall. The impact reverberated through the air, and they were flung back from the force of it.
And at the same instant the sound of a canon echoed through the cavern - twice. Two people had been killed.
My heart pounded as disbelief raced through me, and I skidded to a stop. I was barely inches away from the place where North and Dr Green had been forced backwards.
I hardly had any time to rebalance myself before I frantically looked in their direction. Searching for reassurance that everything was only a terrible coincidence.
They couldn't be dead. I had already lost one brother to madness, I couldn't lose any more of my family.
"Fuck..." North groaned as he sat up, holding his head in his hands as Luke collapsed onto the ground next to him. "That fucking hurts. Luke, your abilities suck ass. I hate them."
"Don't be jealous." Luke quipped, but the look on his stricken, pale face didn't match the playfulness of his words.
Dr Green was already on his feet, Mr Blackbourne beside him. Dr Green appeared no worse for wear, and his glare was fixed on Efrain. "What did you do? How can she-"
But a movement through the air cut off Dr Green's words.
Sang appeared once again in the same location where she had previously vanished from. At the same instant Victor made a strangled sound from behind us. However, there was no time to find out what had caused his reaction.
Mr Blackbourne, who had been startled at Sang's sudden reappearance, glared at Efrain. "Just what is her ability?" His voice was like ice, so much that I was almost afraid of him. But it took less than a second for my relief to be overcome with a new realization.
The canons. The two tributes that had just been killed.
That had been Sang.
"What the fuck was that?" Gabriel breaths were shallow - shock. Clearly he was coming to the same realization.
"That was the perfect weapon." Efrain sounded ridiculously pleased and half-mad as he gushed. "You cannot easily defend against a non-physical entity, after all. And she is stronger than even that. She's unstoppable. She can go anywhere, passing through any physical or spiritual plane. As you can see, even shields can't stop her progress. And nullification doesn't work - not if she puts her mind to it."
I didn't understand what any of this had to do with the tributes who had died, or how any of this could be helpful in fighting. But from Mr Blackbourne, Dr Green and Kota's faces - they were putting together pieces that the rest of us hadn't.
I hadn't had long to wonder about it before Mr Blackbourne voiced his thoughts out loud. "Diana Gentreau used a type of aura manipulation..." He sounded genuinely confused, something which rarely happened, and slightly apprehensive. "That's not entirely practical here. I don't understand..."
I didn't get it. If they didn't know exactly what her abilities entailed, why did they look so scared? Meanwhile, I was torn between watching their expressions and watching Sang. This was a terrible conversation to be having in any situation. However, at the moment it was killing me not to be able to take my wife into my arms and protect her from everything.
Instead, she was out of my reach. All I knew was when I got her back, it would take everything in me to let her go ever again.
"What are you having her do exactly?" Mr Blackbourne's voice was tense. "Either ability shouldn't be enough to-"
"She'll never tire, you know. If that's what you've been waiting for. She'll never run out of energy." Efrain continued his monologue, as if Mr Blackbourne had never even spoken. "If need be, I'll send her back out again. She's a force that can drain the life of others, and can travel anywhere." He threw his arm over Sang's shoulder - an action that made me want to rip him limb from limb. "Like I said, she's the perfect weapon. As long as she's alive - even barely - she'll be useful. And now you've given her nine new abilities to pull from in order to make that easier."
My stomach dropped as panic for Sang shot through me. I was familiar what happened when over-extending past your physical limitations. It was my family's speciality - their curse. It was why Theo was obsessed with fire, and it was why Dr Green hated it when I used my ability in combat.
And by the looks of fear on my brother's faces, we had all come to the same realization.
Sang
I was floating through a haze of static. Somehow I was aware, but not so much. The world had passed me by in a blur of color I barely had time to register the changes. But now I was here, stuck in a voiceless state as I watched the boys as they faced me.
Or was it Efrain? I knew he was here. I could feel him. And even though I thought that I should have been terrified, I felt nothing. I wasn't sure what was going on anymore.
All I knew for certain was that he was going to hurt my boys.
Well, actually, I was going to hurt them - but he would use me as a means to do it. But it was strange. Instead of panic and guilt, things that I knew that I should be feeling at the thought, there was only a calm. I knew it would be temporary. But for now, there only this strange out of body experience.
Why had Chet made me come back here? I couldn't control my body. It wouldn't listen. My mind was screaming at me that I had something to do. I was so close. I was numb.
But wait... that wasn't right either.
Now that I thought about it, I realized that I wasn't numb at all. It was different than before. I could feel, but feeling was not the same as what I was used to. It was indescribable. I was as light as air. My head spun, but I wasn't sick. No, it was something else entirely.
I was alive.
There were no limitations to what I could do and see. I didn't know how I knew this, but the limitations that made being a human, human, didn't apply to me anymore. The world was awash with colors - and they were brighter and more vibrant than anything that I had ever seen before.
And everything was connected.
It was fascinating almost, the threads that tied the world together. Nothing existed in itself, and everything was fleeting. Even the stone walls surrounding me had life and color.
"Sang, why don't you begin with dear 'ol Sean-senpai?" His voice came from close behind me. I wanted to turn to see how close he was, but I had no control over my movements. "Would you like that, Dr Green? A little karmic payback for the last three days?"
"Fuck you." Sean responded. His teasing gaze steady as it watched something over my shoulder. "If you're so sure of yourself, why won't you let the shield down and fight me one on one? You shouldn't need to hide behind my wife. Especially now that the ban has been lifted."
"Unfortunately, that makes me want to not face you even more." He sounded closer now, and I could feel his breath as it rushed through the hair by my ear. "Especially since I had the luxury of feeling it's effects first-hand only a bit ago. You are a scary man, senpai."
Something was beginning to break through the cracks of my awareness. Why was he talking to my husbands in such a way? Why were we fighting?
Why did they look angry?
My thoughts trailed off as I noticed - for the first time - the ribbon of light that ran from one boy to another. It was gold, and seemed to flow seamlessly between them. Each boy had eight connections, and were connected to each other in eight different ways.
Their blood binding.
I wasn't sure how I knew this, but I was positive that's what it was.
And if that was there...
My eyes drifted downwards, searching for it. Even though even focusing was so very hard to do.
On one hand, I didn't want to look - what if the news were bad? Plus, I didn't want to think or do anything for myself right now. But at the same time, I didn't care if I had his permission. I wanted to know, my curious brain refused to pass up the opportunity to learn more.
There was another tug at my awareness. Another crack. Something was trying to force itself through, but I ignored it all.
My eyes followed the lines of rose-gold threads that seemed to pull in my direction. I wasn't able to move, so it took every ounce of my will to focus as I was.
The physical proof of my bond with the boys. I had never even considered that there was a way to see it. It looked different than their bond - almost like fine gold chains in appearance. Delicate and easily broken. But despite that, I had the feeling that they were strong too.
But... I still couldn't feel them - their emotions or their presence in my mind. There was nothing, even though I was right here. From the looks of fury and determination on their faces - I should have been able to feel those things.
What had Chet said again?
There was something else too, something dark and terrifying outside of my vision. I was a prisoner, and it was that which was keeping me here. I wanted to see it, but I didn't either. It was my bond to him, I knew it...
But what about the boys.
I couldn't help but feeling that there was something that I should be doing. An emotion that threatened to burst through my mind and tell me what was important. I was breaking.
"Don't start freaking out on me now." Chet's voice filled my mind, and I could almost see the chastising look on his face. "That's just part of the process. Now you are projecting."
No one moved, or even glanced around in surprise, and I realized that no one else could hear or see him. But yet - that didn't make any sense. Sean had told me that projection was my spirit leaving my body in order to travel to another dimension. The spirits of the departed lived there - it was how I saw Danielle.
Why was Chet following me?
Besides, if I was a spirit, then how was it that the boys could see me? I was certain that they were able, many times I noticed their wary gazes in my direction.
'What is happening?' I screamed the words in my mind, unable to phrase anything out loud. I needed to ask Chet, but I had no control.
"This is all a part of your ability - but not the main part. The others can see you right now because you want them to. If a normal spirit were to do it, we could appear to the living as well. But it takes a lot more energy."
Wha-
"Basically, you're back and are in a spirit form right now." A moment later Chet materialized in front of me, looking as annoyed as ever. However, as before, the others remained oblivious to his appearance. "That's how you can travel from one location - one dimension - and another."
I continued to feel as if my mind was split between here and elsewhere, and everything seemed to come from far away. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Chet. He was in front of me now - in between me and the boys. And for the first time, I was able to see the functional difference between the living and the dead.
The boys were made of energy, and their essence was contained within the lines of their frames. Underneath all that, I could see it - the glimpses of who they were.
But with Chet, the physical limitation was missing. I had seen him before, but had nothing to compare against. Now I could see that there was no container binding him in one place. His manifestation was only an illusion.
I hadn't any doubt before - after all I had seen it happen with my own eyes - but it was another thing to see that he really was dead. It hadn't been a nightmare.
What was this?
"Don't feel sad for me, I can't stand your pity." Chet frowned as he brushed at some imaginary lint on his shoulder. "It's all part of the plan. This would have happened sooner or later, I'm sure. In fact, I'm much more useful to you like this."
I wanted to tell him that he was wrong. I didn't want anyone to die - especially not for me. But even though the cracks began to break through my awareness, feeling was slow to follow. And I still couldn't control my own actions.
Blackness began to creep along the edges of my vision. Colors whirled. I could no longer see the red-headed man or any of the others anymore. But I didn't know why I was looking for them anyway. Why I would need to. There was only softness here.
A familiar voice was saying something, telling me that everything would be all right. There was nothing to worry about, of course, because nothing was wrong at all. I only had to listen.
My sluggish feelings were beginning to overwhelm me, and I was becoming so, so tired.
'You need to recharge,' his voice broke into my thoughts. 'See, there's ample resources in front of you. They are bad people, you know. Like the bad men from earlier. They are going to hurt you if you don't do something. Don't feel guilty. Be a good girl and have a taste. You deserve a reward.'
My vision zeroed in on one of the men - the one with blonde hair that curled on the edges. He did look angry and frightening. But he didn't seem like a bad person. He looked pure. Could it be true that he would hurt me?
However, I didn't want ruin his colors either. What he had was so beautiful - why would I want to destroy such beauty?
'Hurry!'
A sense of urgency filled me, and my questions didn't matter. I had to get there, there was a reason I had to get to him. But something was holding me back. I could feel it - a sense that something inside was about to shatter.
"Not today." The red-headed man was closer now, and he was different than before. More solid. There was a startled curse behind me, and suddenly I knew - he was dangerous. I tried to move, but before I could even budge he had touched his hand to my head.
I froze. And before I could think, I was breaking into a million pieces as feeling exploded within me. Along with those feelings came clarity.
Where I was, what I was doing, and why it was important. The fact that I had been right all along. Efrain was a terrible danger to the boys, but only he was using me to do it.
The boys.
The box that had closed over that part of my soul had lifted. Feelings that I had been locking away threatened to consume me. The only connection to sanity that I had was that I could feel them, their worry and their anger. Their determination to do whatever it took to defeat this monster.
Simultaneously, I was aware of a weakening someplace inside. A sense of wanting to listen to the monster but now, with revelations, I knew that I couldn't.
It didn't matter what happened to me, I couldn't listen.
But, the connection between he and I remained. And as long as it was there, then the danger that I'd lose myself to it again was high. The boys were shouting, saying something, but nothing registered.
I remembered now, I had been lured into a trap. But now I was even more determined to turn that guise into a reality.
"Don't waste time." Chet told me as he snapped his attention to Efrain, who by the feel of it had backed away from me. "Kind of wish you hadn't killed me now, don't you? Your type had never been as intelligent as you believed."
"Adair!" Efrain spat his name out like a curse. "Sang, get-"
Moving quickly, I turned and came face-to-face with my living nightmare. It was only a matter of moments before I went under again. Even now I had to fight to control my own actions.
I could have easily touched him, ended his life that way. But taking on any of his darkness might hurt the boys. I had to find something else...
Fighting his control was difficult. It took every ounce of my courage, because my mind was screaming at me that disobedience would hurt. I'd be punished, and those who I loved would suffer for my failures. My fears didn't control me though, and within an instant I woke up.
The haze had faded, the colors were dimmed, and pain racked through my body. Apparently I had only been feeding Silas' ability to him and not myself.
After all, what would have been the point?
Disorientation almost made me sick, but I scrambled forward and grabbed the knife. The boys were yelling at me to let down the shield, but there was no time. I wasn't as familiar with their abilities, I had no idea how I had even managed to use them to begin with.
There was no time, I only had seconds before I lost control.
He almost made me hurt Kota. He had tried to get me to kill Sean.
He would never stop.
Efrain was backing away, watching me with a look of horror - he looked as unbalanced as I felt.
'No,' I promised myself. He would stop - I'd make sure of it. I refused to be a victim anymore. I couldn't afford to. I'd take care of those who mattered to me, no matter what it took.
I lurched forward, this time in a direction that I controlled. I only had one chance. Efrain backed up another step, panic shooting through his wild-eyed expression. "Vol-"
The word died on his lips in a strangled gurgle.
I had beaten him to it.
"No." I gasped my refusal as his hands grasped around mine. The knife had reached my intended target. There was no way that he'd be able to talk again, no way that he'd be able to make me hurt the people that I loved.
No matter how scared it made me, I refused to lose anymore.