So I found a notebook and it was one of my diaries. I have a lot since my dad would take them later to use for his stuff xdddd and this one is now used by my mom for her stuff. It only has legit two entries but to this day I remember them and now re reading them brings back even more memories
Ones that I'd rather forget
As you can see this was the beginning of fifth grade. My fourth year of depression. I was hoping things would get better and that was when I began to stand up for myself. I hoped so much that it would work. That the nightmare would end. That I'd be free and back to what I used to be: happy.
And it looked like I'd get it at the beginning
I should've understood from that moment in class. Like I said, I had no partners. No friends at all and no one that would want to accept me. So I worked with the teacher as usual. And I wrote this for the whole recess. Wanna know why?
Cause I was alone.
No one wanted to play with me. They did their own thing and I was never invited. The girls were really mean and hated me. Some of the guys were nice to me but they usually played sports and I was terrible at that so I didn't wanna make them mad and didn't try to play. Most of them were mean or didn't know me anyway.
I hoped for change. But honestly, when it looked like fifth grade would be my best year, it became my worst. I couldn't stand up as well as I do now. And it only led me to having short temper. Thanks to Wattpad in the summer of sixth grade, I regained my high tolerance and realized comedy was my best way to deal with bullies.
I wish it worked before. In fact, I tried to seem intimidating in sixth grade. I was friendly but if u mess with me, get ready to be on fire. I still am but not really as scary. More of "Mess with me, you'll wish u died cuz of my annoyance. But REALLY mess with me, ur ded with broken bones."
I wish I wasn't like that though. Even if I'm not bullied, I don't like how I had to change for that. I don't like how society never accepted me for who I was and still doesn't accept me for who I am.
But that's how the world is. If ur meek, u get hit. So just be strong from the start.
I hope no one ever turns out to be like me. I wouldn't want what I've been through on another soul.
Be nice, but not a pushover like I was.