> skip to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
"Good evening." The little girl curtsies. "Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Illyasviel von Einzbern. And this is my Servant, Berserker. It seems that one of you has me at a disadvantage... if strictly in the metaphorical sense."
"Hi." I wave from behind Shirou and Rin. "Non-combatant retainer here. I'm pathetic. Kill me last, please."
She giggles. "Oh, I make no promises. Berserker?"
The gorilla next to her hurls himself into the air, a missile of pure rage and madness rocketing straight towards us.
> record scratch
So you may be wondering how I got here...
> not really
> was kinda there the whole time dude
Oh, c'mon. I'm doing a bit. This is my mind. I can't do a bit when I want to?
> knock yourself out chief
Thank you. Anyway, wasn't I way past done with Berserker and Creepy Child? Wasn't I all focused on Lancer and stuff?
Yeah, so, about that...
***
> skip back to: iteration 17, day 2, afternoon
... okay, this whole meditation thing really isn't working out for me right now. I keep seeing Rin getting that shiv in the back. Can't concentrate at all.
I think this might really be messing me up.
> sucks
It's like -- I know she's okay. I've seen her and all. But it's like I can't convince myself of that, you know? My lizard brain or whatever.
> so what you gonna do about it
I dunno. Wait and see if it gets better, I guess? I keep thinking about Berserker and that genderbent Damian wannabe. Mind keeps circling back to them.
I think... I might want to get even? This is sort of a new experience for me.
> so revenge
I guess? Dumb as that is. I mean, this is Berserker we're talking about. Saber and Not Actually Satan can barely manage to get a draw against the guy, and that's only because Scary Little Devil Girl gets bored. I'm a normie with a memory-hack cantrip. There's no way anything I could come up would even scratch him.
... right?
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, early night
"So after you leave the church, you're gonna run into the Berserker Servant," I say to the three others around the Emiya kitchen table. "Wanna know how to beat him?"
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
Archer's missiles intercept Berserker in midair, right on schedule. (How do you even make arrows curve in flight? Eh. Magic. Moving on.) Like always, the explosion somehow sends the bruiser crashing down into the field to our left. We're standing at the top of a kind of terraced slope, on the brick-lined street leading away from the church. The field is a level down from us, standing above the highway at the very bottom of the hill. To our right is the Foreigners' Cemetery, while Little Miss Terror stands between us and the church's front gates. Same scenario I've seen before.
Unlike what I've seen before, however, Archer's volley seems a lot more scattershot. I hear explosions further down the hill behind us. Also unlike before, Saber's ready to go. She immediately throws off the poncho and charges at Berserker, keeping herself between us and the giant.
***
> skip back to: iteration 17, day 3, morning
This whole line of thought is just stupid. I mean, Berserker is a freaking tank. Both class-wise and in terms of build. He's like Golden Age Superman and the Hulk wrapped into a single, constantly steroid-raging package. Oh, and with Wolverine regeneration! How the hell do you beat something like that?
> well what stops tanks
Um, bigger tanks? Close air support? Budget cuts? I'm gonna need some more to go on here.
> all i'm saying is maybe look into it
Get my military otaku on, you mean?... Well, I guess I could do that. If you think it could help.
***
> skip forward to: iteration 18, day 2, early morning
"So riddle me this, nerd," Rin snarls. She presses an accusing index finger right in between my eyes. It's the hand she does the pew pew thing with, so I'm pretty sure this is the mage equivalent of sticking a gun in my face. "If this whole time loop story of yours isn't a big ol' load of bullshit -- then how the fuck did you not know Berserker was waiting for us right outside the church?!"
I swallow. I had a feeling this part was going to be rough. "Um. Actually. I did know."
"What?!"
Her reaction's understandable, when you think about it. They've just gotten back from their trip to the church. Over by the kitchen doorway, Saber supports an unconscious Emiya by herself. So from Rin's point of view, I just sent them into a potentially deadly situation without any forewarning. Which did feel kind of wrong and weird, even though it would have happened anyway if I didn't show up at all... man. Time travel ethics, you know? They're a thing.
"But I also knew you'd all make it back, okay?!" I blurt out. "Emiya'll be fine in the morning, I promise. And I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this time, but I'm trying to plan something and I needed a clean run. Which is why I also couldn't tell you that Lancer's Master is Kotomine until now."
"Kotomine's... what?" Rin stares at me.
"It's broken, I know. Again, sorry." She hasn't shot me yet, at least, so I keep going. "And also, if you didn't have this fight tonight, bad things can happen. Like a few loops ago, we skipped the church and then the scary little girl turned up and killed you on Monday night in this really fucked-up way. And that memory's been kind of messing with my head? Like, emotionally. So yeah."
Across the room, Saber blinks and glances between the two of us. Okay, maybe a little more information than I really meant to volunteer there...
Rin slowly lowers her hand, her eyes narrowed. "... what do you mean by a clean run?"
"I mean that I need to know how things go down in that fight if I don't interfere at all." I pick up the pen and pad I set out on Shirou's kitchen table. "As soon as Emiya's patched up -- I need you both to tell me exactly what just happened, okay? In as much detail as you can."
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, early night
"Oh, come on." In the same kitchen one loop later, Rin crosses her arms. "This is ridiculous! I don't care if you're Shin's relative or whatever. I just met you! Why should we listen to any of this?"
I pause in the midst of sketching out a little map of the area around the church. Think fast. "I'll admit... I know it's asking a lot for you to trust me with your lives right off the bat like this..."
She snorts. "Gee, you think?!"
I get a sudden burst of inspiration. "But the real question is, though... are you willing to trust yourself?"
"Huh?" She furrows her brow.
"This isn't my plan, Rin," I say. "It's yours. You came up with all this at the end of the last loop. I'm just the messenger here."
This is technically what we in the business call a lie, though I did ask Rin for input on the whole thing. Who cares about the credit, though -- I just want to see Berserker go down.
"Well..." She uncrosses her arms. "That's different, then."
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
"Running away now, boss!" I shout as Berserker and Saber lock blades.
"Whatever! Hey, von Einzbern!" Rin fires off a few blasts from her hand at the figure up the road. "Last I checked, this wasn't a spectator sport!"
The blasts vanish harmlessly against Scary Little Devil Girl's shields. "Oh, very well," she sighs. Two bird familiars materialize over her head. "I suppose I can't let Berserker have all the fun, can I?"
I flee as fast as my legs will take me into the graveyard.
***
> skip to: iteration 18, day 2, early morning
After I collect Saber and Rin's testimonies, I bike over to the church. Kotomine works fast, I'll give him that. There's already work crews out surveying the damage to the park and the graveyard.
I wait until the workers move off a bit, then scramble over to one of the craters in the road. From the sound of things, this looks to be where Berserker landed when he chased Saber into the cemetery. I pull out my tape measurer and get started.
***
> skip to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
Since I scouted out the terrain in the last loop, I know exactly where I'm going. I take cover behind the tombstone with the best vantage point. Then I peek out and take stock of the situation.
Both mages start out strong. Rin's summoned that hovering green jewel thing in front of her, which she's using to shield herself from the white fire the birds are pouring down on her. The von Einzbern kid calmly pulls two white hairs from out of her head and fashions them into new familiars. (Just how many of those things can she have going at once, anyway?)
Further down the hill, though, Saber's not doing so hot. She blocks another massive strike from her opponent, but it knocks her into the air. Before she can even land, Berserker suddenly appears above her and axe-kicks her into the ground.
Rin notices. "Archer, support Baeber!" she snaps as she throws a blast at one of the birds. "... what do you mean, visibility conditions?!"
"Aww, what's the matter, Rin?" von Einzbern smirks. "Can't you share your own sight with your familiar? I would think such a basic skill would be trivial for the jewel of the Tohsaka bloodline."
"Bite me!"
"Well, if you insist..." A fifth bird appears behind Rin and morphs into a sword. "I suppose I could take a stab at it."
> ugh that pun
"Rin!" I yell. "Behind --"
But once again, I'm too late.
***
> skip back to: iteration 19, day 1, early night
I manage to pull Shirou off to the side for a second while we're on our way to the church. "Listen, man. I know that all of this is a lot to process..."
"You don't say." Emiya rubs his eyes. He already looks pretty tired.
"And I know you hate feeling like you're sending others to fight for you." I glance at Saber. "But here's the thing... a few loops back, one of those bird things I mentioned got Rin. Stabbed her right in the back. While she was saving us."
"It did?" He seems wide awake now. "I mean, she did?"
"I can tell you the whole story later if you want," I say. "But here's the thing -- I really, really don't want to see that again. So for this fight, I'm begging you -- just let Wonder Woman do her thing and stick to your zone, all right? Please?"
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
I don't even finish my warning before Emiya slaps the blade out of the air with the metal pipe he'd brought along. The familiar falls to the ground and shatters.
Rin glances back at him in honest surprise. Shirou stands back to back with her, pipe held at the ready. The von Einzbern child harrumphs and pulls another long hair from her head. She looks pissed now. Not good.
***
> skip to: iteration 18, day 3, early night
"Hey, Saber..." I stop her in the hall outside Emiya's kitchen. "I've just been wondering -- where's your armor right now?" She's currently wearing the school uniform Rin loaned her.
"It's... hidden, at the moment." She shrugs. "I'm not sure how to describe it. It's somewhere else. I can materialize and dismiss it whenever I like, provided I have the mana." She holds up her hand. The air around it goes all shiny and glimmery, and then she's wearing her gauntlet.
I whistle. "Sweet. So does it weigh anything?"
"It is armor." She examines the glove. "Still, it's fairly light. An old friend made it for me a long time ago. I would estimate that it's perhaps half the weight of the plate of my day. Which was generally around..." She hesitates. "About three or four stone? I apologize. I'm uncertain how much that is by modern measures."
"That's fine. I can look that up." I write it down. "Okay. Next question -- how much do you generally weigh? Minus the armor, I mean."
> oof
> bad call dude
She narrows her eyes and looks at me.
"... what?" I ask.
She turns and walks away without a word.
"No, seriously, what?" I blink, entirely clueless. "What's wrong? I just need..." Was it something I said?
> just let it drop man
> trust me
> (dumbass)
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
So I probably should have known Saber wouldn't be one-hundred-percent on board with the plan as stated. Blame her sense of honor. She must feel like she has to try the direct approach first, I guess. Paladins. Whatcha gonna do.
Battered and bruised, she circles her opponent before charging forward and taking a slash at his stomach. Berserker avoids her sword. With a roar, he brings his own weapon down on her.
Saber dodges and leaps onto the back of the massive blade, then she aims a thrust at his side. Berserker lets go of his sword and steps back -- but that's not what she's up to. A beam of golden light explodes from the hidden blade. It carves straight through the giant's torso, ripping a whole as wide as my head through his midsection. Berserker slumps over backwards, his glowing eyes fading as he dies.
"Oh, no," Little Miss Terror says in a singsong voice. "Berserker's dead. Whatever am I going to do?" So she's mocking us. I get that now.
***
> skip to: iteration 18, day 3, late night
"So about these familiars von Einzbern's got," I say to Shirou. We're hanging out in his tool shed while he's practicing magic stuff. "I know Rin can conjure up shields and stuff. But is there anything youcan do to protect against the shit they fling around?"
"Not... really?" Shirou pauses and thinks for a second. "Well... hold on. There is one thing I could try... trace on." He sits on the floor and breathes, his hands curled up into fists.
I wait for a moment. "And... that is?"
"I'm doing it right now." Shirou has his eyes closed tight. "Can't you tell?"
"Uh... no. Sorry."
"I'm Reinforcing my own body," he says. Now that he mentions it, on closer inspection, I can see a hint of those little green TRON lines running up and down his neck and shoulders. "Boosting my skin's durability and toughness. I've been practicing it on and off. Just in case I get in a situation where I'm injured but I need to keep fighting, or I'm pinned down in combat and can't dodge..."
I'm not fooled for a second. "You wanted to be bulletproof like Superman."
"... maybe." He lets out a breath and relaxes, opening his eyes. "It still takes me a lot of concentration. That's why I haven't really used it in combat yet. But if I knew it could come in handy, and had some warning before things started..."
"Gotcha." I write down a note. "That sounds like a really useful technique, though. I'm surprised you don't practice it more."
"Yeah, well..." Emiya shrugs. "If I screw it up, I could kill or poison myself. So there's that. Oh, and if I use it for too long, it gives my skin this kind of lizard-scale look sometimes? So I try to avoid using it on school nights."
"... right." I scribble down Emergency Use Only in the margin. Shirou's priorities. They're certainly... things, you know?
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
Rin and Scary Little Devil Girl are really going at it now. The kid has six bird familiars in play. She turns two of them into blades and launches them into Rin's shield. But Rin's ready for that. Just as the green gem shatters, she tosses these purple stones into the air. They turn into this big glowing half-dome wall in front of her. The blades run into it and shatter.
Otherwise, Voodoo Child keeps trying to sneak a puppet around Rin's defense to flank her. Rather than doing the sword thing again, the bird stays in the air and shoots at them. Shirou's trying to play Jedi with his pipe, but I don't think that's working out too well. So it looks like he's mostly just Reinforcing himself and acting as a meat shield for Rin. He seems not to be dead yet, so yay?
Down in the field, Saber seems winded. Looks like that blast she just tossed off took a lot out of her. As she leans down on her sword, her armor dissolves into thin air, leaving only her blue dress.
Berserker's body starts to knit itself back together. Saber sets her jaw. Seems like that was what she was waiting to see. She turns and retreats further down the field, as the giant slowly begins to raise his head.
***
> skip back to: iteration 18, day 6, early night
Rin eyes the stack of papers I have underneath one arm as she answers the door. "Jesus. Obsessed much?"
"I prefer to think of it as work ethic." I walk into the front hall. I've been mostly staying clear of Rin and Emiya since the incident on Tuesday, just trying to keep my head down. Nothing personal, I told them. I just really need to make it to the end of this loop so I can measure the effect of Lancer's attack on the length.
That said, I've gained two days so far. So at this point, I'm ready to declare my hypothesis myth confirmed: more exposure to the Gae Bolg equals longer time loop. (Heh. Myth confirmed, because it's a... you see what I... anyway.)
In the meantime, I have more questions. Rin sighs and closes the door. "So what is it this time?"
"So you know how -- eh, hold on." I pull my notepad out from the stack of photocopies I made in the town planning office and get out my pen. "Okay. You know how you said you might've been able to prep one or two additional spells last Friday, since you keep a few blank gems on you?"
"Right..."
"Well..." I flip to my rough little concept diagram and show it to her. "Do you know how to do something like this?"
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, early night
"Well, look who the cat dragged in." Back in Emiya's kitchen, Rin looks up from the tiny blue crystal in the palm of her hand. "I thought you weren't going to join us."
"That was before you started discussing battle strategy," Archer says curtly. He strides over and looks down on my map. It occurs to me that I haven't interacted with him a whole lot, compared to the other three people in the room. You know, aside from him killing me that one time, maybe. "If you want me to contribute to this madness, there's a few questions I'll need answered."
"Sure, big guy," I say. He narrows his eyes. Okay, seems he doesn't like Big Guy any more than Not Actually Satan. Noted. I cough. "What's on your mind?"
"First things first," Archer says.
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
Saber throws the blue gem Rin gave her down on the ground. It shatters and spreads a thin sheet of ice across the field. She slides across the surface and neatly turns to face Berserker. They stand about thirty meters apart.
"Is that the only defense she has left? How sad." Von Einzbern smirks. "Berserker -- finish this."
Berserker roars and launches into the air --
***
> skip back to: iteration 19, day 1, early night
"What exactly is the point of all this?" Archer taps his finger on my little map. "Why am I pretending to miss and hitting this spot instead? What's down there?"
I grin. "The water main."
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
Saber waits until very the last second, then flings herself to the side. Berserker slams straight through the thin layer of ice and into the mud beneath, sending a huge spout of clay meters into the air.
Archer had done his job perfectly. He'd managed to open up the pipe with one explosive shot, then shifted dirt back over top of it with another. Full credit to Saber, too -- removing her armor like she did lightened her enough that she didn't crack the ice and give away the trap. Berserker roars and flails, but all that does is sink him even deeper into the sludge.
"What?!" The little girl's jaw drops.
***
> skip back to: iteration 18, day 5, afternoon
"Tomonaga? Hey! Tomonaga!"
"Bwuh?" I wake up with a pretty terrible headache. I imagine that this is something like what a hangover must feel like... not like I'd know anything about that. (Not a joke. I really don't.) I open my eyes and see Shirou looking down over me. "... what? What is it?"
"You're awake. Good. Can you get up?"
That sounds like the worst idea ever. "Nah. S'good, man. I'm good down here..."
He pulls me up off the floor anyway. I'm in my homeroom, next to my desk. All around me, the entire class is completely unconscious. And there's this weird red lightning shit right outside the window. "The hell -- what's going on?"
"Someone activated the bounded field," Emiya says. "It's draining the life out of everyone. Just work on generating extra mana within your body, and you should be okay."
"Do what in the what now?" I spot Tohsaka over by the classroom door. "Rin! I thought you said you were gonna take care of this!"
"I did!" she snaps. "Someone un-took care of it! This isn't my fault!"
"Uh-huh. Right, right..." A likely story. That said, I'm not going to call her out on it right now.
"Tom, listen," Shirou says. "Have you seen Sakura Matou anywhere today? Is she at school? Do you know?"
"Who?" I ask.
"Oh, right. I guess you haven't met her..." Shirou glances over his shoulder. "Okay. We're gonna go fix this. You just focus on staying awake, all right?"
"Okay. S'cool," I mumble as they rush out of the room. "Guess I'll just stay here, then..." Because I'm, you know. Basically useless.
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, early night
And once again, here I am back in my room on Friday night. Seven days. That's how long the loop lasts now. A single attack from Lancer gave me over a hundred additional hours.
That's promising, of course -- but I've got bigger, more jacked fish to fry at the moment. I start digging through my desk for paper.
Okay. Let's go work on that whole 'not being useless' thing.
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
"NOW!" I yell at the top of my lungs.
Three seconds later, Archer takes out four of the familiars. Rin drops her shield and blasts the other two. Shirou takes a deep breath and charges von Einzbern, his pipe raised. The little girl lets out a panicked scream and leaps back. She must do something magicish, because Emiya freezes in place.
That's when I tackle the girl from the side.
I really put way too much force into it -- she weighs, like, next to nothing. I at least manage to avoid crushing her beneath me while still pinning her hands down. "Berser --," she squawks. Then I shove the side of my forearm into her mouth.
Verbal and somatic components contained. Yay. Have to say, though, this feels really uncomfortable. "Sorry," I mutter as she kicks at me with her tiny little heels. "Guess I'm a bit of a combatant after all."
She replies by sinking her teeth into my arm. Pretty sure my scream wakes up half the city.
***
> be: saber
I wipe the mud from my face and turn. My foe struggles and rages, trapped within the mire. In his current state, he lacks the wit to free himself. All the same, I should be on my guard in case something changes. I reequip my armor and stand ready.
I study the gigantic figure in the pit. He's no knight, but is clearly a heroic spirit of considerable renown. His skill as a warrior is extraordinary. I believe he had a sense of my blade's length after my second or third blow.
While my duty in this matter was obvious, now that I stand here, I cannot say I am pleased with this particular end. "I'm sorry," I say to my enemy. "You deserved better than this."
***
> be: tomasu tomonaga
I whimper under my breath a bit as Rin finishes taping up my arm. Yeah, I know, I'm a big wuss. But just look at this thing! God, she bit straight through the sleeve of my jacket. How does that even happen?! "The hell are your teeth made out of?!" I glance over at von Einzbern. She sits gagged and bound over by the cemetery fence. "They're like... tiny +1 knives or something!" She just glares at me.
"Don't worry, Archer," Rin mutters. "I'll handle it." She glances down the hill at Berserker. "So there's no way he can get out of there by himself, right?"
"Nope!" I answer cheerfully. That's a lie, actually -- there's a couple different ways -- but I'd rather not give the clever kid with a psychic link to the rage monster any ideas. "Non-Newtonian fluid. Liquefies as soon as he hits it. Hulk might be strongest there is, but that don't mean much if he ain't got a solid place to stand."
The kid snorts behind her gag. God, she is tiny! She is, like, a tiny thing. I don't know why I'm just noticing that now. "Oh, what?" I say to her. "C'mon. You're German, right? Didn't they teach you about Russian mud season in school?" They should. After all, that's what stopped the Nazi tanks short of Moscow in 1941. Thanks for the advice again, bee-tee-dubs.
> don't thank me yet
"So what now?" Shirou asks. He sits on the ground nearby with a few new bandages, mostly over burns. This guy, I swear. Dude's really maxed out his ranks in pain tolerance. His jacket and shirt are in tatters, though. I imagine that has something to do with how distracted Rin seems to be at the moment. Hey, even I've got to admit he's got some decent definition going.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
He glances at the girl. "I mean, what do we do with her now?"
Oh. Huh.
> huh is right
I guess I... honestly didn't put that much thought into the post-battle wrapup here, did I. I scratch the back of my head. "Well... we won, didn't we? Can't we just get her to surrender or something?"
(Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the kid abruptly slump her head. Is she laughing? Did I say something funny?)
"I don't think so. The way the priest made it sound, the Servant kind of has to die for it to count."
(Wait, is she -- is she crying?)
"Well, what about the priest?" I ask. "He can take away Command Seals, right?" And then use them for his own devices, but that's neither here nor there.
Shirou shakes his head. "I think he can only do that if the target's willing to give them up."
Not necessarily, I almost say. But I got the impression from his memories that Kotomine has to cut off hands for that trick to work. Which reminds me -- giving him the chance to assume control of Berserker is a terrible idea anyway. So moving on.
(Yep, she's crying. Shit. It's a tactic. You know it's a tactic. Don't fall for it. Let's at least try to pretend we're not dumb enough to fall for such an obvious trick, okay?)
"Could we... like... make her use her Command Seals up?" Shirou asks.
"Nah," I say. "The moment we remove the gag, she'll just teleport Berserker straight to her."
"Oh, right. She can do that, can't she..."
(But... shit. Right now, she doesn't look like some Silent Hill reject or a vicious murder ghost. She just looks like a little girl.
What the hell is she doing here, anyway? Who the fuck sends a small pre-tween to fight a war? I guess I didn't question it before, but the more I think about it, the weirder and more fucked-up it seems...)
Shirou hesitates. "I guess we could just take her back to the house like this."
"Uh-huh." I narrow my eyes. "So we're going to carry an eight-year-old girl -- bound and gagged -- back through the streets to your home, where we intend to keep her captive for an indefinite period of time."
He grimaces. "Right. Forget I said that."
"I mean, I feel like we're already risking a visit from Chris Hansen as is right now." I scratch my head. "I don't know -- Rin, is there any kind of mage stuff that could help us out here? Some kind of spell or, like, a treaty about prisoners of war -- there's got to be something like that set up, right?" Where is she, anyway? I'm surprised she hasn't said anything --
Pew. Pew.
> boom
I slowly turn around.
Rin's standing there in her red jacket, her right arm extended like a rifle. Her hand pointed directly at Illyasviel... who no longer possesses a head.
The little girl's body slumps to the side. Rin raises her arm and, with an air of formality, puts her gloves back on.
I feel like someone just paused me. Can't breathe. Can't think.
> unpause
> speak now or stay silent forever
"Rin..." My voice kicks back in. "Rin, what the FUCK?! What the EVERLIVING FUCK?!"
"Don't yell," Rin says coolly. "Someone might hear. Guess that means I didn't tell you about this part of the plan, huh?"
"What," I say flatly. I never -- I didn't -- wait.
***
> skip back to: iteration 18, day 6, early night
"So assuming all this works out, the endgame should be easy, right?" I ask Rin. "There's gotta be some kind of mage Geneva Convention or something you can invoke once we've grabbed her."
"I wouldn't worry about that." Rin shifts her eyes away from me. "Just win first. We get that far, we can work it out from there."
***
> skip forward to: iteration 19, day 1, late night
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I yell.
"And don't look at me that way, either," Rin says. "It's not checkmate until you take the king."
"That's chess, Rin! You just killed a fucking CHILD!"
"No, I killed a mage!" Rin points her finger at both of us. "THAT'S what neither of you idiots get! This is a war."
"I thought the definition didn't work," Shirou says faintly.
"THAT'S NOT THE --" Rin growls and rubs the bridge of her nose. "Look, the point is -- there is no room for fucking around here. If the circumstances were reversed, she would've done the same to me in a heartbeat. That's just how it works."
"In Psychoville, maybe!" I snap. "I know about war, Rin! And what you just did -- last time I checked, that's called a war crime!"
"THERE IS NO SUCH THING!" Rin shouts. "Not here! There's only one rule in this fight, and that's kill or be killed. If you ladies can't handle that, then do yourselves a favor and stay -- the fuck -- out of it."
I can't think of anything else to say, so I just glare at her.
"We're done here." Rin adjusts her coat. "Starting tomorrow, we're enemies, same as we were with her. And you --" She points at me. "I don't care what you do. If you're smart, though, you'll go home and forget everything you know about this. Time loop or not, this is no place for normies."
"Rin..." Shirou's voice sounds strangled. "How could you..."
She turns away from us. "If you have to ask that," she says coldly, "then you don't know me at all."
She walks away. Down in the park, Berserker stops struggling. A stream of glowing particles rises up out of the mud and into the night sky.
***
> be: rin tohsaka
I manage to make it all the way down the street before I finally give in and puke into the bushes. God, the smell! And the look on her face... the way she was crying... the von Einzberns know how to make 'em lifelike, I'll give them that much...
Oh, great! And here come the tears now! Why? Because of stupid Shirou? Because of the way they both looked like idiot puppies I'd just kicked or something?
Stupid body. Use your brain. They're better off this way. Now they know exactly what they're dealing with. No dumb illusions. No thinking that this is some kind of movie or comic book or whatever, where the good guys always win because they're good.
They're better off. And me, I'll be... I'll...
Fuck!
"You doin' okay there, Rin?" Archer's voice asks in the back of my head.
I wipe my eyes. "I'm fine, Archer," I transmit back.
"You know, I was being serious when I offered to take care of the von Einzbern Master. That is traditionally part of a Servant's job."
"No," I reply. "I prefer it this way. I don't need to pretend I'm keeping my hands clean. I won't let myself be that weak."
"As you like, then."
You are a Tohsaka, I remind yourself. You're a mage. An initiate into the grand secrets and inner workings of the universe. You dare to do what others consider unthinkable. You stare into the truth where others shield their eyes. Yours is a path carved in blood and bone and fire.
So act like it, for Christ's sake.
I stand up straight. Then immediately bend down to puke a little more. Okay, fine, that's fine. I can work on it. I'm a work in progress.
"Speaking of Masters, by the way," Archer says casually, "I still have a clear shot at Shirou..."
"No, Archer," I think back.
"But he's right there!"
"I said no, Archer." I take out my handkerchief and wipe my mouth. "That's enough for one night. I've had enough."
I hear some disgruntled mumbling back, but that's it. That's fine. We don't all get to be happy in this life. We just... don't.
I shake my head. Dabbing my eyes, I start the long trudge back home.
***
> be: tomasu tomonaga
Shirou eventually cuts the tiny corpse's bonds and covers it with what's left of his jacket. He mutters something about being used to dead bodies. I'm glad one of us is, I guess. After a while, Saber comes back up. She doesn't look happy when she sees how things went, but she doesn't look surprised either. I wonder how much shit like this she's seen. Too much, probably. She goes to stand guard a short distance away and leaves us to our thoughts.
I really didn't think Rin had it in her. I thought it was all talk, you know? All the dark humor and the catchphrases and everything... I didn't want to believe she could really kill someone. Or would.
> she wouldn't kill shirou
> or you maybe
> that still leaves a lot of possibilities
You... did you know this was going to happen?!
> suspected
Why the fuck didn't you say anything?!
> you needed this to happen
What? Why?! So I'd learn there are consequences when I don't think my plans through all the way? I could have figured that out without being an accessory to child murder, thanks!
> you'll see in time
Oh, fuck you! And fuck this cryptic bullshit! What's the point here?! That Rin's right? That I just need to man up and get on the killing train?!
> no
> that's not it
Then what is it?! Shit! This is pointless. I'm just going in circles here.
I look up at Shirou. I can't see his eyes. Probably have that hollow look again. I lean my head back.
"This wasn't right, was it," I say.
"Gee, you think?!" Shirou glares at me.
Yeah, I deserve that. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Well... don't worry. It won't happen again."
I get to my feet. "Whatever you do, don't trust Kotomine. Okay?" I didn't really go through any of the other usual warnings during the kitchen briefing earlier. Guess that means Rin misses out. What a shame. "Monday night, you get hypnotized, so have Saber watching out. Tuesday, that bounded field on the school goes off. You got all that?"
"Uh... yeah." Shirou blinks.
"Groovy." I shove my hands in my pockets and start walking. "If you'll excuse me, then... I'mma go get myself killed."