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Chapter 14
Scene
"Did you have fun today?" Dylan asked me when we got inside my office.
Fun?
Thousands of pain bolted in to destroy my heart completely in just one day. Well, maybe those familiar emotions enjoyed hurting me, but I didn't.
"Uhm... Ayos lang," sabi ko na lang. "We just did an ocular. Hindi naman kami namasyal. And besides, I still have a lot of things on my hand that I have to do before I can have fun."
"Didn't know you're so workaholic..." he commented.
"I'm not sure if that's a compliment for us businessmen and women, but I'll just think of it like that," I said and smiled at him before hanging the strap of my bag on my shoulder.
He laughed and opened the office's door for me in order for me to get out with ease.
I realized that it was very natural of him to do these chilvaric moves. Sigurado akong ganito rin siya sa ibang babae dahil mukhang sanay na sanay siyang maging gentleman.
"If you'll actually allow me, I want to take you out tonight and have some fun," he said when we were inside the elevator.
Nagtaas naman ako ng kilay sa kanya upang marinig pa ang ibang sasabihin niya.
"A friend of mine's hosting a party at Prive tonight," he said. "I want to bring you with me, if it's fine with you. But if you don't want to, it's okay. I'll just drive you on your way home before I go there."
"What's the party for?" I probed.
"It's his birthday party," he answered.
Lumabi naman ako at nag-isip. "Hanggang anong oras mo balak magstay roon?"
"If you're gonna come with me and you want to go home already then, we will go home," he assured me.
And because of that, I agreed to come with him to the party. I wanted to have some fun as well.
I also texted my mom to ask for her permission, and she immediately agreed knowing that I was gonna be with Dylan. Hindi ko maipagkakailang naging maluwag sa akin si mommy dahil sa pakikisamang ipinapakita ko kay Dylan.
I've been to bars and club parties with my friends when I was still in New York, but this was the first time that I'd be able to experience night life in Manila.
Pagkalabas na pagkalabas ko sa kanyang sasakyan pagkarating namin sa Prive, agad na sumabay sa pag-indayog ng mahinang tunog galing sa loob ng club ang pagtambol ng aking puso.
I was having that feeling of freedom again. I really missed my friends in New York who introduced me to the outer parts of the world where I was locked in before.
"Let's go," Dylan whispered as he casually held my hand.
Ibinaba ang tingin sa aming kamay na magkahawak. Sobrang rahan ngunit may pagkahigpit din ang kanyang pagkakahawak sa aking kamay.
I was waiting for a certain feeling to change my emotion. He already let go of my hand to show his invite at the bouncer for us to come in and held my hand again, but I didn't feel anything special. It was frustrating.
Jace can just look at me without exerting any effort, but I can already feel thousands of emotion mixing up inside my soul while with Dylan, we were already skin against skin, and I still wasn't able to feel something that can make me feel ecstatic.
Well, I guess I should be patient and let everything flow naturally. I shouldn't force myself to feel something when all my emotions were still controlled by a certain person.
Let's take it slow, Zarina. Step by step. Little by little.
Hinigpitan ko naman ang aking pagkakakapit sa kanyang kamay na dahilan kung bakit siya bahagyang napahinto at lumingon sa akin na may pagtataka at pagkabigla sa kanyang ekspresyon.
I just smiled at him that caused him to smile back at me. Hindi siya madamot sa pagbibigay ng ngiti, pero mas nangingibabaw pa rin ang walong segundong ngiti na iginawad sa akin ni Jace kahit sa kabila ng sakit.
Damn, Zarina! Will you please stop comparing and focus on moving forward?
I needed to move on. I wanted to get over this feeling as soon as I can. Kung matagalan man ay ayos lang sa akin basta makalaya lang ako sa pagmamahal na kumukulong sa akin para sa kanya.
Ayoko ring saktan si Dylan kung nagkataon man na tuluyan siyang mahulog sa akin at hindi ko siya makayang saluhin dahil ako mismo ay nahuhulog sa iba at naghihintay na masalo.
Guilt immediately tried to awaken my conscience.
Am I ready for the possibility of hurting someone if ever I fail to move on and leave him hanging?
Lumuwag ang aking pagkakakapit sa kanya dahil sa mga naisip ngunit siya naman ang nagpahigpit sa pagkakapit naming sa isa't isa.
Ang sama-sama mo, Zarina...
Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang magpatianod sa kanya patungo sa kanyang mga kaibigan. I was actually surprised as well to see some friends and familiar faces as we walked inside the club.
"Jared, happy birthday, bro!" Dylan greeted the host of a party with a fist bomb.
"Thank you, Dylan," he thanked Dylan before his stare drifted to mine and gave Dylan a meaningful smile. "You're with someone, huh?"
Dylan chuckled and pulled me closer beside him by wrapping his arm around my waist.
"This is Zarina Rivadelo," he introduced me to Jared and also to his other friends around the circle.
I smiled at his friends and directed my stare at Jared. "Happy birthday."
"Thank you for the greeting," he thanked me. "Enjoy the party. Dylan, get her something to drink or eat some snacks. Do as you please."
Tumango naman si Dylan at nagpasalamat bago nagpaalam sa mga kaibigan na mauupo muna kami sa table.
"What do you want to drink?" he asked me when a waiter stopped at our table.
"I'm fine with cocktails, pineapple mix," I answered.
He nodded and reiterated what I wanted to the waiter and ordered for himself as well. Some of his friends went to chill on our table. Two of them had their girlfrends tagged along with them.
They were busy talking about trivial things, and I kept myself busy while slowly drinking the cocktail I ordered. Dylan never failed to keep me company by talking to me from time to time.
"I actually saw Liana earlier..." The one wearing white plain shirt shared as he was almost drunk. "Still stunningly beautiful as ever."
Panandalian namang napakunot ang aking noo nang marinig ang pangalan ng kakambal ni Jace. Was he actually pertaining to Liana Sy?
"Liana Sy?" Dylan probed.
Tumango naman ang lalaki at nakuha nila ang aking atensyon.
Liana's here? Dito ba ang lakad nila ni Isha ngayon?
Tumawa naman ang lalaking nakahilig sa kanyang girlfriend. "Gago ka kasi at pinakawalan mo pa," sabi nito. "Now, you look like a puppy missing your owner."
Tipid naman siyang ngumiti. "You know I have to..."
Gusto ko pa sanang malaman ang kabuuan ng istorya pero agad din silang nanahimik at inilihis na sa ibang topic ang kwentuhan.
When I finished my second glass of cocktail, I stood up from my seat that caught Dylan's attention. I didn't want to seat here all night without enjoying the party.
Ngumiti naman ako sa kanya. "Sa dance floor lang ako," pagpapaalam ko.
"Sasamahan na kita. I wanna dance with you," sabi niya at agad na tumayo para samahan ako patungong dance floor.
The music was still in an upbeat tune when we reached the dance floor. It wasn't that crowded because the party's private. Some were getting wild already as they danced to an electronic beat.
Dylan grabbed me on my waist as he started to move his body along with the groove of the music.
Natawa naman ako sa kanyang dance moves kaya naman napatawa rin siya at mas humataw pa ng pagsayaw.
"Dance with me!" he shouted in the middle of the deafning beats.
Hinawakan niya ang aking kamay at sinubukan akong igalaw-galaw upang sumayaw.
I was planning to dance alone earlier, pero ngayong kasama ko siya ay nakaramdam ako ng kaonting hiya para sa sarili.
"Come on, Zarina! Show me your moves," he shouted while laughing.
Napapikit naman ako ng mariin bago magsimula sa pag-indak kasabay ng tugtog. Pumalakpak si Dylan nang magsimula akong sumayaw at panay ang puri niya sa akin.
"Ayoko na! Nahihiya na ako!" malakas na bulong ko sa kanya.
Nakuha ko na rin ang atensyon ng ibang mga taong nasa dance floor dahil sa aking pagsayaw at sa kanyang agaw eksenang reaksyon.
He laughed at me before he nodded. "Let's go back to our table."
Mabilis naman akong umiling. "Punta muna ako sa restroom. Susunod na lang ako sa table."
Kita kong nagdadalawang-isip pa siya kaya naman bahagya ko na siyang tinulak upang paunahin na siya sa table. Mabuti na lang at hinayaan niya na ako.
I excused myself in a sea of people on the dance floor to go to the restroom when I was suddenly pulled by someone that I clashed against his broad chest.
Bago pa ako makaangat ng tingin sa kanya ay hinapit niya na ang aking baiwang at sinubukan akong isayaw nang dahan-dahan kahit na ang kantang tumutugtog ay pangmasayang indayog.
I can smell a mixture of alcohol and mint when we got closer. I didn't know that this kind of scent can be so addicting.
"Looks like you and Dylan are getting closer..."
Nanlaki ang aking mga mata nang bigla siyang nagsalita. Boses pa lang ay nagawa niya nang pagwalain ang iba't ibang klase ng hayop sa aking tiyan.
Only one guy can make me feel like this. No doubt.
"Jace..." I whispered his name without looking at him.
"Uhuh..." he said with his husky voice. "It's me."
I bit my lower lip while thinking of the reason why he was here. Kaysa matuwa na nandito siya ngayon sa harapan ko ay naramdaman ko lang ang pamilyar na sakit. Parang normal na lang sa akin ang sakit dahil sa dalas ko itong maramdaman.
For sure, he was with his twin sister and Isha. Paniguradong sinamahan niya ang dalawang babaeng importante sa buhay niya.
"I need to go to the restroom. Excuse me."
Bago pa ako makakawala ng tuluyan ay muli niya akong hinigit papalapit sa kanya. Ngayon ay mas mahigpit na ang pagkakahapit niya sa aking baiwang.
I never thought that my heart can beat this loud and fast. Sinubukan ko ring masabayan ang aking paghinga ngunit halos kapusin ako dahil sa bilis nang pagtibok ng aking puso. It felt like it was about to explode and pump out of my chest.
"I'm not done yet," he sternly said and firmly held me on my waist before he started to move me again for a slow dance.
Just like magic, everything suddenly slowed down when my eyes met his. Even the upbeat music turned into mellow. I wasn't able to hear the laughter and small talks of other people on the dance floor. Kahit sa gitna ng maraming tao ay parang kaming dalawa lang ang naroroon. Siya lang din ang tanging nakikita ko.
"Do you remember when we danced during your debut?" he suddenly asked in a low voice.
Halos magdugo na ang aking labi sa pagkagat at muling ibinaba ang aking tingin sa kanyang dibdib.
Natatakot akong kilalanin ang mga emosyong ipinapakita niya gamit ang kanyang mga mata. Pakiramdam ko'y mas lalong hindi na ako makakawala kapag napangalanan ko ang mga iyon.
I can still remember every moment spent with him, and during my debut was the moment that I cherished the most. That memory was very vivid to me. I can still feel how he first held me on my waist; how I leaned my head on his chest; and how we danced along to the last song.
How unfortunate that I can still remember everything that I wanted to forget.
"Hindi na..." Kahit na ang totoo'y alalang-alala ko pa.
I will not admit it. I didn't want to look like a fool for someone like him.
I felt his grip got tightened before he let out a deep breath. "I thought you'll forever cherish and remember that night just like what you told me before you turned your back."
Napatigil naman ako at muling nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya. To my surprise, he was already looking at me with a melancholic expression.
He remembered my words!
"Naaalala mo?" hindi makapaniwala kong tanong.
Tipid naman siyang ngumiti bago tumingala at muli akong isinayaw.
"That's the last words you told me before you left," he said before he looked at me again with fire igniting on his eyes in contrast with his cold heart.
Pakiramdam ko ay napakalaki ng aking kasalanan sa kanya dahil sa mga binitawan niyang salita. Did he want me to bother him after I promised and gave him my word that I won't? Ayokong pangunahan ang gusto niyang iparating sa akin dahil ayoko nang muli pang umasa.
"Galit ako sa'yo..." Kahit matigas ang kanyang ekspresyon na ipinapakita ay masuyo niya pa rin itong nasabi sa akin. "Hanggang ngayon ay galit pa rin ako."
I started to feel the heat on the edge of my eyes as I felt them tearing up.
"B-Bakit?" nauutal kong tanong at halos walang boses na lumabas galing sa akin.
Nanatili ang kanyang pagkakatitig sa akin. He never failed to capture my attention but this time, even my soul was all on him. Everything about me was anticipating his answer.
"Jace..."
If my own little imaginative world with Jace was a mirror, it was instantly crashed by reality when I heard a familiar sweet voice called his attention.
Agad kong nilingon si Isha na nasa aming tabi habang nakatingin ng diretso kay Jace na unti-unting bumitaw sa pagkakahawak sa akin.
Our fictional-like scene ended just like that when the real leading lady came in.