A warm breeze rustled through the tall trees stood around us, causing leaves to tumble out of them and float to the ground. The sky was pure blue, not a cloud in sight, as if it were painted.
I turned to the auburn-haired boy beside me, who was staring at the ground, ripping handfuls of grass out and throwing it around ceaselessly.
"Hey, Shane?"
"Hmm?" He turned to me, diamond-like blue eyes shining in the sunlight. "What is it?"
"Do you..." I shifted, the grass below us blowing slightly in the wind. "Do you think that we'll still be friends when we're older?"
"Of course, we're gonna be friends forever!" Shane exclaimed, a smile stretching across his face. "Unless you steal my food, then the deal's off."
We laughed, voices carrying through the field around us like a sweet melody.
I believed every single word he said.
My bedframe creaked as I scooted closer to Shane. He held a Game Boy in his hands- my Game Boy, which he played on whenever he got the chance since he didn't have one himself. The T.V played quietly in the background, playing whatever show was on at the moment.
"Shane," My eyes shifted to the boy's own, which were still glued to the glowing screen. "What do you think we'll be doing five years from now?"
Shane dropped his hands, along with the game, onto his lap and fell backwards onto a pillow. He bit the inside of his cheek for a few moments, before finally looking up at me.
"I dunno, the same thing we're doing right now?"
I chuckled. "What, sleeping over at my house, playing Pokémon, and watching Friends for the twentieth time? Yeah, that sounds about right for two eighteen-year-old boys."
Shane snorted.
"Shut up, just I mean hanging out together, doing whatever and not caring what people think." He paused for a moment before continuing. "And watching Friends."
I laughed loudly, lying back beside him, butterflies fluttering helplessly in my stomach.
"But seriously, I hope I can get a girlfriend by then."
"Same." I said simply, although I couldn't explain why the butterflies had suddenly felt as if they'd turned to acid.
"Don't worry though, I won't forget about you." He said, elbowing me playfully.
I believed him, I needed to believe him.
The trees loomed over us, casting their long shadows across our bodies and the ground below. Small bits of sunlight shone through the branches, giving at least a bit of light in the otherwise dark area.
"You said you wanted to tell me something?" Shane said, taking a seat on the ground and leaning back against a tree.
"Yeah." I sat next to him carefully.
"So... what is it?" He asked.
I took a deep breath in, before shaking my head. "I-I don't know if I can tell you yet- shit, I'm not ready."
"C'mon, you can't just drag me all the way out here for no reason." He smiled, lightly nudging me. "Plus, we've been friends forever, you can tell me anything-"
"I'm gay."
I held my breath, waiting for a response, but Shane was silent. I glanced at him nervously. The smile he'd previously worn had dropped off his face and was replaced with an unreadable expression.
It was still for a few more seconds, before I finally broke. I was shaking, tears dripping down my face and weak sobs flowing out of my mouth.
"I'm sor-ry..." I stuttered out between sobs.
I felt Shane's arms wrap around me tightly, pulling me closer to him.
"I'm sorry." I repeated, burying my face in his jacket.
"Hey, it-it's okay, okay?" He said, voice hushed. "We'll get you some help, we can fix you, don't worry-"
I pulled away from him, my brows furrowing together as I stared into his eyes. "...What?"
"It's... a man loving another man is a sin." He said, averting his eyes to the ground. "But going to church and praying to God can help... that's what my mom told me."
"We love each other, though, is that-"
"That's not the same, we don't love each other like that, that's... that would be gross."
I stood up, hands clenched in fists defensively.
"I... I'll see you later, Shane." I told him, turning to leave.
"Ry, wait-" He stumbled to his feet. "We're... we're still friends, we'll figure this out."
I paused before beginning my trek home silently, pulling my jacket hood over my head.
For the first time ever, I didn't believe him.
I didn't believe him because he avoided me for the following week and a half, even though we hadn't gone more than a few days without each other before.
I didn't believe him because once he did start talking to me again, he would flinch away every time I got near him, as if I had a disease.
I didn't believe him because eventually he wouldn't even look at me, not muttering more than a word at a time.
A year passed, then two, and then it finally sunk in that I no longer had my best friend, all because of those two words.
At first, I'd regretted it, thought that maybe I should've just kept it to myself and that we might've still been friends, but I knew that keeping such a big thing a secret from him for so long would've killed me.
I didn't blame myself, but I couldn't bring myself to blame him either. But it didn't really matter anymore, did it?
I slammed my dorm room door behind me, throwing my backpack over my shoulder and turning to head down the hallway.
"Fuck!" I hissed, falling to the ground.
I winced, looking up at who I'd crashed into.
As diamond-blue eyes met mine, I felt as if my throat was closing in.
"Sh-Shane, I-" I stumbled to me feet, standing straight up in front of the man, although he stood at almost a head taller than me.
"Hi," Shane said warmly, before giving an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, I didn't see you."
"Well, yeah, you look like you've grown at least a foot since we last saw each other." I chuckled. "It's... it's been a while, huh?"
"Yeah, it really has... I was just heading over to see one of my friends here and bumped into you and-" Shane inhaled sharply suddenly, averting his eyes. "Actually, y'know what? I'm going to me upfront, I heard you were going here and I wanted to apologize for being such a dick for the past few years."
I opened my mouth to talk but couldn't think of anything to say, my mind felt jumbled up.
"This is me saying sorry, Ryland. I'm sorry for avoiding you and calling you 'sinful' or whatever other stupid things I might've said." He started. "I just... didn't really understand. I get it if you don't trust or want to be friends with me anymore, I wouldn't want to either. I just don't want you to think that I hate you, that I ever hated you. And I want you to know that you helped me a lot; if you hadn't told me you were gay then I probably wouldn't have realized that I am too."
I blinked, this felt like some sort of weird dream. I mean, in what world would my previous best friend who I hadn't spoken with in a year-and-a-half out of nowhere just decide to talk to me again, let alone come out to me?
"Oh." I choked out.
"Oh?" Shane repeated, nervously laughing. "I kind of expected more than just 'oh'... Do you not believe me or something? 'Cause, I mean, I get it but I swear-"
Before he could finish his sentence, I reached up, placing my hand behind his head and pulling him down to meet my lips. I felt about as shocked as him for a moment, before melting into the kiss. When he finally pulled away, eyes fluttering open again and even brighter than before, I smiled.
"I believe you."
•
Word count: 1341
A/N: This story is a month or two old, but I've had it in my drafts for a while so I finally decided to just post it while I'm trying to get back in the swing of things.
I'll try to have an actually new fic next week, and thank you to those who commented on my last update, it means a lot to me! :)
♡ All votes and comments are appreciated ♡