Natalie's POV
It was so solemn lately... since Beth's death. It didn't quite register with me until later, I've just been in shock since. Everyone has been all out of sorts, trying our best to survive and heal. And let me tell you, it's hard. Healing as a group is so hard when you continually loose people, people you care for.
Daryl hasn't talked to me, or anyone really for that matter. He's distanced himself and I hate when he does that. But everyone deals with pain in their own ways, I'm not one to pry into people's feelings. I'll let him come to me on his own terms but that doesn't stop me for looking out for him. When he goes on hunts alone, I follow but he never knows I'm there. He is to caught up in his own head to focus on the real world. Hell I don't blame the guy. Pain.. it can take a toll on you. But sooner or later he is going to break, everyone does, and I'm going to be there to pick up the pieces.
I am broken out of my thoughts by the walkie in my hands.
"Natalie do you copy?" Ricks voice rings out from the walkie. I bring it to my mouth.
"I'm here." I tell him, waiting for his response with the group that took Noah to his home.... what Beth wanted.
"We made it... It's gone." He responds in a low voice. I sigh in defeat and lean my forehead against it. Lydia comes and sits down next to me.
"After it all happened... with Beth. That lady didn't mean to kill her. I could see it in her face. But... I wanted to kill her for what she did. Daryl did it, making justice for Beth." She tells me making me look over to Daryl, fiddling with his crossbow a considerable distance from the rest of us. "He will come around, he always does you know that." Lydia adds making me sigh, my stare not breaking from him.
"I know." I respond leaning my head back against the car.
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"Natalie! We're at the car! We need to cauterize an arm and wrap it. Get Sasha and Carl away, they don't need to see this." Ricks panicked voice comes across the walkie. I stand to my feet quickly along with Lydia.
"Is it Tyresse??" She asks as she gets the things together to follow through with what needs to be done. I nod as I help her. After awhile static comes across walkie again.
"Nevermind. He didn't make it." Rick says, his voice solemn. Shake my head and slam my fists against the car.
Another person gone..
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"We look not to what can be seen, but to what cannot be seen, for what can be seen is temporary. But what cannot be seen is eternal." Father Gabriel speaks as we burry Tyresse. I look over to Daryl who stands by himself, his gaze on the ground. He hasn't looked at me once since Atlanta, and it hurts me a little more each day. I push the feeling away and look down to my boots while Father Gabriel continues preaching. I hear some movement and look to see Daryl handing me the shovel, my turn to put a scoop of dirt into the grave. He still doesn't look at me, his stare still on the ground. I take it gently, walking over and scooping up some dirt, putting it ontop of the body feeling tears well in my eyes.
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It's been a little while it's everything has happened.. but not nearly long enough.
I quietly watch Daryl dig in the dirt for whatever. Soon he finds something, putting it in the palm of his hand, he looks at it. Soon he lifts up the worm and puts it in his mouth, eating it. I've eaten bugs before, but worms are by far the worst. I feel my face contort in disgust, but he is smart. Bugs are a great source of protein, so points for Daryl survival 101.
Flashback
Pre-apocalypse
Thailand
Lydia leans over to me after the people place the plate infront of us.
"Are we really going to eat this?" She whispers to me and I look to our trainers who grin.
"Bugs are a great source of protein. If you are ever stuck in the wilderness, bugs are something you want to keep in mind when you have no food." My trainer, Misha tells us in his broken Russian accent. Chris, Lydia and I all exchange looks.
"These are also delicacies in losts of countries." Kacie, Chris' trainer adds, popping a fried cricket in her mouth.
"Oh what the hell, cheers." Chris says eating one. "Actually, its pretty good" He adds. I look to Lydia as we both shrug. I grab one and eat it.
"Wow.. um. Very uh...." I pause looking for the right words to say about the odd food.
"Crunchy. Very crunchy." Lydia says finishing my sentence. I nod in agreement as our trainers howl in laughter.
End of Flashbacks
I sigh and walk back to the group, empty handed. Finding water or food nowadays was hard, almost impossible even.
Once I return the group looks at me in hope, only for me to crush it with s slight shake of my head. I plop down between Lydia and Chris.
"How much longer we got?" Lydia sighs, stabbing her machete into the dirt.
"About 60 miles." I respond, letting her know how far until we get to Washington DC.
"I wasn't talking about that." She says making me look up to her.
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I walk along side of Rick, after our last ride gave out. Daryl, who is on the other side of him looks back at a group of walkers.
He still hasn't talked to me, and the pain in my heart grows more and more each day. I hated when he ignores me, it's never been this bad. But I know so I have to give him space.
"We aren't at our strongest." I speak out, making Rick look back also.
"We'll get them when it's best, high grounds something like that. They're not going anywhere." Rick says to us both. I nod in agreement.
"You're right." I respond adjusting my bow. He looks to Daryl.
"It's been 3 weeks since Atlanta. I know you lost something back there." Rick tries to talk to Daryl. He stays silent for a moment before looking at Judith.
"She's hungry." Is all he says, avoiding the statement Rick had made.
"She's okay. She's gonna be okay." Rick replies, adjusting the baby in his arms.
"We need to find water. Food." Daryl grunts, making me scoff.
"Thanks for stating the obvious." I mumble quiet enough for him not to hear. But Rick does by the glance he gives me.
"We'll find some on the road. It's going to rain sooner or later." Rick says looking up to the sky. Daryl slows to a stop.
"Ima head out n see what I can find." He tells Rick, handing him the rifle.
"Hey. Don't be too long." Rick tells him, looking at me. I sigh and take the bow off my shoulder.
"I'll go with you." I tell him, the first words I've spoken to him in weeks. He looks back at me for the first time since everything, his eyes holding emptiness.
"No, I got it." He tells me lowly and I scoff.
"Are you going to stop me?" I shoot back, He just grunts and starts into the woods, me behind him.
Oh this should be fun.
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We both walk in the high grass, a few feet apart.
"Anything?" I ask while looking around for
"Mmm nothing here, it's too dry. There ain't nothing here." He grunts, the most he's spoken to me since it all happened. He continues looking, his back to me.
"Well maybe we should start back." I try, the crave for his touch burning. I miss him.
"You go." He tells me in a short tone. I sigh.
"I think she saved your life, her kind soul. It kept you sane." I blurt out making him freeze, looking to the ground. I slowly walk up to him, putting out Beth's knife. He grabs in hesitantly. "It was hers." I tell him softly. He shifts the knife in his dirty hands.
He just stares down at the knife in his hands.
"We're not dead. That's what you said. You're not dead." I tell him, taking a few steps forward. His sad eyes meet mine. "I know you. With me.. I can't. But with you. You have to let yourself feel it." I add, lightly brushing the hair out of his eyes. His mouth holds a firm frown. I stand on my tip toes and kiss his cheek. "You will." I whisper before turning around and walking away.
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I think Daryl goes into the woods, sort of as he own escape being as he has done so quite a few times. Rick always thanked me for following him every time he goes out, watching out for him.
I see him sit against a tree, lighting up a cigarette. He puffs on it some, takes it out and looks at it. Then he puts it against his hand, burning himself. I restrain myself from stopping him, after Daryl is done he drops it, looking up to the sky.
Soon he starts to cry. Not being able to stop myself from comforting him, I rush up to his side, dropping my bow to the ground and kneeling infront of him. He gives in, looking up to me his eyes full of sadness, tears rolling down his face. His lip quivers, a small sob coming quick after.
"Daryl." I whisper softly, pushing the hair out of his face gently. He rests his forehead on my shoulder, and I immediately pull him into my arms, letting him cry. I kiss his head while I feel his body shake against me, his arms making their way around me. He hugs me tight as he continues to sob, finally letting his feelings out. "I'm here Daryl." I tell him, my voice gentle. "I'm always here."
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Its sort of a short chapter but I promise I'll update again soon !