I could feel the warmth coming from the cup I was holding, the hot coffee Justin had poured me warmed my entire body by itself. He was sitting next to me but the unusual part was that his hands weren't anywhere near my body.
If I knew him right, he wanted to touch me. He rarely was around me without having his hands somewhere on me, despite if it was only my arm. Justin was always being touchy, except for right now and I kind of understood why. He was trying to show respect because, in the car ride on our way home, I had told him I needed some time to think.
I knew he took that as in I wanted to finally break things off with him. I wasn't sure whether or not he was counting on the fact that we were together right now but I never truly believed we broke up, our break was intentionally non-realistic. It wasn't the case, I was not going to leave him before I had gotten some sort of proof. I needed it to believe his ex-girlfriends side over his, it wouldn't be right for me to believe her words over my boyfriends. She was crazy, I had to remind myself that she had lied to him for two years about his son being dead. That said something about her and I had to keep that in mind.
"Are you going to want custody back?" I asked, turning to look at him and Justin's eyebrows raised at my voice being heard in the room. He looked surprised that I had spoken.
"I don't know," he shrugged, unsure about my question and I felt my heart momentarily sink whenever I looked into his eyes. The pain he was experiencing was showing straight through him and he was usually pretty good at hiding his feelings, it only further proved that this was all killing him, "I really don't know what to do right now."
I nodded, pursing my lips as I failed to come up with a fair answer. I wanted to help him, be there for him and give him advice but I had never been in this situation before. I had never even heard of it. Which made me uneasy about giving him the advice he needed, instead, I had already suggested for him to seek a therapist. It would help his problems but when I brought it up, during our car ride, he laughed and said I was ridiculous for suggesting that.
Justin's very independent and he's not interested in talking to a therapist, clearly seeing himself as a stable person who can make his own decisions and doesn't need people's help. He wasn't wrong, he's always been very successful when choosing his own path and I knew that his ego was too big to seek professional help for a matter like this.
The silence grew again and it wasn't until Justin suggested something horrendous that it was broken again, an immediate shocked reaction coming from my side.
"Please come back to work with me."
I choked on the sip of coffee I had taken only a few moments earlier, "What?"
"I need you back in the office, I don't wanna go back alone." His eyes were avoiding mine and I could see him fumbling with his fingers, indicating that he was nervous about the discussion. I didn't blame him, the last time we had this talk it didn't go that well. "I need you there," he mumbled quietly, "I won't go back without you."
I sighed, " Justin-"
"No," he interrupted me, making me regret trying to avoid it but I gasped when his next words came out, his voice slightly more stern and his eyes desperately seeking a reaction out of mine, "It's an order as your boss. Come back to the office, your vacation is up."
I tried to catch my breath to tell him that he could go fuck himself if he was going to continue bossing me around like that but I stopped myself, his intentions completely different than before. He didn't want to be alone in the office, especially not with this new information about his child still being alive. I don't think anyone knew yet but people are going to figure it out eventually, which is going to cause whispers and rumours because of the fact that the attorney is like a kindergarten.
I sucked up my pride and nodded my head, refusing to take the argument about me quitting again. It was useless anyway, he was going to win the argument either way and I think I've somewhat known this entire time that I would still end up at that stupid glasshouse again. There was just something about it pulling me back towards it and I wasn't going to fight that anymore.
If anything, maybe it would help me to get over what Justin did (which I was kinda over anyway) and focus on trying to rebuild the little I had. Justin assured me that, this time, he would help instead of trying to wreck it. He's said on multiple occasions that he's sorry for what he did and I know I should be over it by now.
I nodded, coming to the terms with the fact that it was probably my only choice anyway, "Okay, I'll come with you."
"Really?" Justin's eyes widened out of surprise and I could tell that he hadn't expected my answer to be that, his shocked expression almost made me giggle, "You mean that? You're sure?"
"If you do something for me first," I mumbled, an idea popping up in my head which would give me the chance to get the answers I needed to quiet down my thoughts. It was annoying how much I wanted to know the truth, considering I shouldn't even be questioning who to believe. Justin's eyes darkened a little as I think he could probably figure out what I was about to propose. He didn't say anything but impatiently waited for me to continue, "I get to ask you questions, you have to tell me the truth."
He shrugged, "Jessica, I have nothing to hide."
"Good," I smiled, a sarcastic form suddenly plastered on my lips, "Answer my questions then."
"Okay," I watched his mouth sink into a thin line and I tried to ignore the fact that people who were lying about things usually prevented to talk about it. I knew that whether his answers were true or not, I could always find out the truth in another way. No one was ever able to lie and cover up all the tracks, people always made mistakes and Justin was no difference, "Hit me. What're your questions?"
I squinted my eyes at him, "I'm being serious, Justin. If you don't tell the truth, I will find that out. I know my ways, I'm a lawyer. I know how to find out the truth, you as a lawyer should also know that people who lie always get exposed."
"I know." I watched him nod his head as if to show that he understood my empty threats. I knew he wanted to get this over with, mainly because he was probably tired of having his girlfriend think of him as a maniac but I couldn't help but remember Marissa's eyes as she warned me for him. I already know I will have a hard time to sleep, "Which is why I would never lie to you."
I noticed he must've noticed my brain sinking into thoughts. Justin knew that was a bad sign, whenever I was thinking; it made me overanalyze everything and he knows that. It's like a bad sign if I don't speak because that means I'm indecisive about what to do next and I know for sure that Justin is terrified of his future with me. Mainly because he doesn't know if there will be one.
If only he could understand that I would barely leave him for anything, I was so extremely addicted to him that I don't think I could leave even if the hospital rumour was true. I can't help but look at him as a changed person, at least becoming changed. He's willing to put in work for me, I've noticed and I know he's been doing everything in his power to fight his own hands whenever they wanted to touch me during our trip. He respected me when I told him I wanted to be friends, he listened and showed me that he did that because he cares.
That's what's got me thinking that he's changing, he put me and my wishes above his even though they were stupid and really not that necessary, which is something positive. A proof that he's trying for me and I should acknowledge that way before anything else.
Although, the thought of knowing the truth would really put my head's at rest and I truly think I would need that, especially right now.
"Ask me," he said again, bringing me out of my own thoughts and back to reality which was him, looking at me with an annoyed face, "What do you wanna know? As I said, I got nothing to hide."
I took a breath, "Did you ever physically abuse her?"
"Yes."
The way he said it made me inhale the air too quickly, feeling it get caught in my throat which made me choke slightly. I coughed a few times, making sure I returned to normal and noticed that Justin's cold facial expression hadn't changed at all. He seemed bored by the question which wasn't exactly how I would've imagined his reaction to being, talking about it.
"You hit her?"
"Yes," He said again, repeating his question, "I slapped her, multiple times during our relationship."
I nodded as if that would remove the sudden lump I had in my throat, "Did she ever have to go to the hospital?"
"No," Justin snickered and I squinted my eyes at him to show him that there was nothing to be laughing at in this situation, it didn't stop him from laughing some more until his face got serious and he scoffed at the thought of it, "She is the mother of my child, why would I do that?"
I don't know why the mention of him already having a child made a knot in my stomach, especially knowing it was with another woman who I didn't know whether I could trust or not. It shouldn't affect me the way I felt like it did and I had to remind myself to control the jealousy growing, an ugly side of me starting to show through that I didn't want considering Justin was happy about this news. I ignored my sudden thoughts and returned to the conversation instead, "Why would you even hit her, in the first place?"
"She annoyed me."
"So, if I annoy you, you're going to hit me too?" I huffed, my concern growing bigger knowing that his motives and explanations were really bad. I could see why his choice of theme in the attorney had ended up being divorces. I remember him telling me when we met that he didn't necessarily believe in love.
"No," Justin shrugged, his face still as cold stone as before. His expression hadn't changed since the moment we began talking about it, his lawyer expression being on full display for me as if we were sitting in some sort of testimony.
I furrowed my eyebrows at his statement, not understanding his logic, "No? What's the difference-"
"The difference is that I love you," He raised his voice, but only slightly, which made me freeze. His eyes desperately searched for my attention and once they got it, I could see the pain and frustration in them. Justin's chest was going noticeably up and down, making me believe that his adrenaline was a little higher than usual, "I didn't love her. I never did. I didn't care about her. She hit me, I hit her back."
I nodded, not being able to do find any more words. I honestly had no idea what to say to him because the way he was staring at me, had me shut my mouth. I didn't know anything about his past or his pain, the things that he's suffered but I can tell from the little I've noticed that there are things I don't know about yet. Things he's still quiet about, probably not comfortable enough to tell me. I accepted and respected that, he would tell me eventually.
It just all made me realise that there's so much more to this story than what I know of.
"You have all the rights to ask questions," Justin said, his voice now suddenly a low whisper and I felt his hand take a hold of mine, "but believe me when I say, that you and this baby growing inside of you, is the most precious thing I have and I wouldn't risk that for the world. I'm sorry that I get physical but I stop, right? I don't take it too far-"
"A little is enough, too, though," I couldn't help myself, the frustration growing as much in me as it was in him. I could tell by his eyes that he understood what I was trying to say but I also knew that he didn't want to accept being wrong in this matter.
Sometimes I wish people would just simply accept their flaws and acknowledge them. Apologise for them and work on it. Work to be better. It would make life so much easier for anyone around them.
"I'm sorry," he said again as if he had read my mind, "I promised I will do better and I am still standing with that promise. I won't disappoint you."
I nodded, without a doubt believing his words. He was gentle deep down and although he could get aggressive, he was intimidated by me. It was noticeable by how he always looked puzzled and analysed my reaction whenever he told me something, preparing himself to fight and defend himself in case I would say something off. He was terrified of losing me, so he's said anyway, and was currently doing anything in order not to.
With all this stuff happening around him, I was surprised he even had time to think about me.
I leaned forward to kiss him, my arms sneaking around his neck causally which he seemed to enjoy because I heard the slight groan coming from his mouth, causing some vibrations to go into the kiss as well.
"I love you," he muttered onto my lips, leaving yet another wide grin on my face, "thank you for believing in me."
"Don't worry about it," I giggled as his lips went from my lips and down my neck, his words getting stuck in my head to repeat itself over and over, his voice being everything I had ever dreamt of, "Justin," I accidentally slipped out a moan, not prepared for the sudden intensive kiss on a certain spot that he knew I loved. I pushed him away lightly, his eyes confused until I told him, "You're going to make an amazing father, both to Noah and this baby."
"Yeah, except I still don't have custody of Noah."
I shrugged while I stated the obvious, "So? Let's put up a fight?"
Justin's eyebrows raised at my words, seeing his shocked expression take place again. It seemed like I was great at surprising him, my words usually being something he didn't expect. I could tell he was thinking about it, the tiny curve on the edge of his lips letting me know he was into the idea of winning back the custody of his child.
I tried to keep my excitement back when he nodded, mumbling that he would have to get another lawyer since he already had his cases on. I waited for him to say something but when he didn't, I felt the need to remind him.
"Hello?" I waved as a joke in his face, the sound of my laughter filling the room, "Hire me?"
"You?"
"Wow, yeah, that's not offensive at all," I laughed, seeing a red embarrassment take place on his cheeks as he probably noticed his mistake. I knew he didn't mean it like that but I still couldn't help but mock him, "I would've won over you if you didn't cheat your way to it-"
"Hey!" He stopped me, a wide grin on his face while the playfulness between us never seemed to really die down. Eventually, he seemed to really be thinking of the idea of hiring me as his lawyer and he gave me an unsure look, "You sure you want to do that?"
"Positive," I nodded, seeing his lips being sucked into his mouth. I immediately saw my opportunity to continue throwing some facts down his throat, "It's the least you can do if you want me back at the company."
"I would be very honoured."
I bit my lip, the excitement of having a case again growing inside me quickly and I basically jumped into his lap, catching him off guard. He smiled at my actions, the realisation of us not being close since our Maldives trip hitting the both of us at the same time. I could read his thoughts without hearing them out loud, his eyes telling me everything I needed to know.
"Undress," Justin mumbled and I didn't have the chance to react before I felt his hands take hold on mine, leading them above my head so his next move with taking off my shirt went as smoothly as he had planned.
I giggled when I felt the shirt get stuck at my nose area but Justin was quick to fix the struggle, my shirt off as fast as it had been on.
I met with Justin's eyes again, my bare chest now exposed for him to see every little inch of it. He always had a certain look on his face whenever he was in a sexy mood, the darkness in his eyes much more apparent. It only turned me on more, seeing him turned on.
"Fuck me," I mumbled into his ears, feeling his entire body freeze along with my sentence. I think my actions sometimes surprised Justin because he never expects me to be the bad girl, or the kind of girl to talk that dirty.
I think Justin expected me to be less naughty when we met, more punctual and always very great at following rules.
"Your wishes are my command," Justin chuckled and I couldn't help but think that, if that was the case, I had a lot of more wishes to make.
He searched his hands around my body, exploring every inch of me and I allowed him. To the point where he was already deeply inside me, pumping in and out thrusts.
I had missed this.
//
heLLOOO guys, how u doing today,
BTW gus I haven't slept in like 20 hours so I feel really tired and it's affecting my writing because I write one second then I focus on something else and whoops I've forgotten what I was even writing anoudjdsssn (like that <<< I always just fell asleep on ting class?)
So I'm gonna fo to bed now cause I can't remember what I've written ????
ANYWH QUESTIONS:
- what's your opinion on Justin's characters development?
- what do you think is gonna happen with the Noah case?
- will Marissa and Jessie talk again???? What's gonna Happen then *smirks*
oh weLl those were the question I want y'all to answer THANK you IN ADVANCE
GOODNIGHT !!!!