I wake up by the sun that is jumping inside the cracks of the window like a thief.I try to sleep again as i cover my head with my pillow,but the voices from outside are keeping me awake.
I give up on the sleep part and i get up,walking all the way from the hallway to the kitchen.
I slept with my window open,but now it was closed.Who closed it? Was it him? Did he cοme to my room when i was asleep and not just in my imagination?
''Mafalda,chiudi la mia finestra?''I ask her while she is busy preparing breakfast.
''No,seniora Kathy.'' Hm.She was not the one that closed it.
On the back yard everyone is already on the table.Even Pietro and his mother Francesca are here.He gives me a kiss to the cheek and i can't help but notice how Timothee tenses at Pietro's movement.
''Good morning everyone.''I smile happily at my family and i sit across Timothee.It feels like it was always just like this.Like he should be here from the start.Where were you when i was a child,Timothee?
''You're having tea.''I notice as he takes a sip from his cup.
''I figured i should try your favorite tea finally.''He smiles shyly and i feel everyone's eyes on us.Mafalda brings the last of the plates and everyone starts eating,leaving us alone.A while after,uncle Matteo and Luca leave to go to the grape fields.
''Kathy,why don't you take Timothee to the beach?Your uncle will keep that poor man busy for a long time,i imagine.''She looks at me behind her newspaper and i look at Timmy.
''Only if he wants to.''
''I would love to.''He nods and before i can say anything Pietro invites himself too.As we walk down the stairs just by the edge of the house that leads down on the beach,Timothee mumbles,
''What's up with your friend?''
He looks over at Pietro who is speaking with Katerina,Mafaldas daughter who asked if she could come with us too.
''We grew up together.''I raise my shoulders.
''Just that?''His eyes are on his feet as he walks slowly.
''What did you expect?''I laugh a little.Is he jealous?
''Your aunt seems like a nice person.''He changes the subject.
''She is.I'm so happy that i finally came to visit all of them.''
''You look happy.''He smiles just like i am doing now,and we don't talk for the next few hours.We just let the sun burn our skin and the salt of the sea sit on our bodies.
*
When we get back, it's almost lunch time.
"Kathy, your mother called. She was looking for you."Aunt Giulia tells me as we walk past the kitchen.
Fuck.
"I'll call her later.."I mumble,walking past them to my room and i get a judging looking from Mafalda's side.
"Why didn't you tell her you were coming? She sounded worried." Her voice is feeled with judgment.
"Dios mio, aunt Giulia. There isn't a parental bone in this woman's body and you know it! I said I'll call her later." I burst out before sutting the door of my room.
Jesus. Why isn't life giving me a break?
There is a knock on the door.
"Kathy?" Timmy's voise.
"Come in.."I follow the dust that flies around in my room with my eyes under the light of the sun.
He sits next to me in the bed, and touches my shoulder, slightly squishing it.
"Are you okay?" His voise comes soft like a rose petal.My eyes get stack in his wrist watch and the way his veins are pumping underneath his skin.
"I just need a break, you know?" I sound upfront and i regret it. When I gather my patience I talk to him again. About everything.
"My mother was always an impatient person. When things didn't go her way, she brought the world upside down. My dad was always calm and liked it here. He liked the people, the easy way of living.One day Francesca showed up with Pietro.He was just a few months younger than me. Her husband had left her and she had nowhere to go. So my dad found her a place where she could work and they never left after that. They were always around,living in the small house on the garden. I remember my mother saying awful things to her,that she was stealing her husband from her. Like he was a purse or something. When things got out of hand, she decided to leave him and take me with her. I was ten." I take a shaky breath and I watch his finger petting the outside of my palm as I continue.
"We were just about to get to a taxi that would take as to the airport, when Mafalda's husband came down the street running and yelling. My father was in a car accident, on his way here from fishing. He was coming to stop her from leaving. Because, despite of what she was, and everything she had done, he still loved her..And instead,she was the reason he died." Saying all of these for the first time out loud, I thought I would be sobbing by now. But I felt releaved that I finally got it out.I felt that Timothee was the right person that i could share my deepest secrets.
His eyes are following every single reaction of mine, every emotion.
He pulls me into a hug and I hear his steady heartbeat.
"You won't be sad forever, Kathy." He kisses my temple and I take a deep breath.
"Have a nap with me." I mumble on his bear skin.
"Anything you want,babygirl.." He smiles sadly and our bodies remain locked together as we fade slowly to sleep.
*
It's the annual town's parade and we are all going. I take one last look on the mirror and walk outside where everyone is waiting for me.
Timothèe is sitting next to Pietro on the front yard and he doesn't notice me while they are casually speaking. His hair are still wet from the shower and he has his long white shirt on, with his sleeves pulled up.
He looks so beautiful and for a minute I stand there watching him amazed. What on earth did I do right to deserve being around this wonderful human?
When he finally notices me, his eyes are sparkly and he doesn't seem to be able to look away from me. Did I look like him just now, when I was admiring his beauty?
We walk to town, since the house is so close to the centre of the city. The streets are filled with white small houses decorated with flowers and the air is feeled with music and voices all around. I enjoy the walk and everyone around me,as they laugh and argue about almost everything.
Timothèe walks next to me, our hands almost touching.
"You look so beautiful.."He whispers and before I can reply back, his palm slips inside of mine, holding my hand delicate.
I look at our locked hands and then at his face. I chew on my lower lip as he licks his.
He takes a deep breath and I can see that he is trying to control himself.
"I want to kiss you so bad right now."He whispers, his lips touching my ear, just so the rest of them won't hear his words.
I squize his hand tight and try to control my breathing. I want him so bad that my sight is feeled with dots and lights.
I can't keep my eyes off of him all night, and i watch him from a distance talking to people and laughing and drinking. He has it so easy in making people like him and that makes me want him even more.
Our eyes meet a lot of times during the night and they are speaking without our mouths moving.
The truth is, I didn't know I loved him that moment.
All I remember after a lot of drinks and hours of dancing with local people, is him holding my hand, and how much it is going to hurt, when he will be gone.