Chapter 4: Antoinelle
I swung open the door to my apartment and entered, slamming the door behind me. I leaned my back against the wall next to me, sliding down 'til I was in a sitting position. I was so unbelievably tired. Yet, my day wasn't close to being done yet. There were bills to track, classes to take, and forms to fill out considering the center kids.
Believe me, I loved what I did with my life but sometimes it got to be too much. I sat myself down at the kitchen table and decided to start with balancing my checkbook. I was currently the proud owner of the twenty four dollars and seventeen cents that was in my account. How I fed myself every day and night with the appetite I had, I didn't know.
Maybe I should stop eating as much. Goodness knows I could shave a few pounds. Maybe I'll stick with a 2500 calorie diet and...what was I thinking, I couldn't go three hours without shoving something edible (or inedible) into my mouth. I ditched the idea of a diet. I'd just go the next month with only one tub of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream.
After taking another ten dollars out of my account {My account was in the ten's! Yeah! (Sense the sarcasm.)} I got out my special red folder. Inside this special red folder was the homework assignments of some of the center kids. I was to proof read them before Sunday and identify any problem areas I could help them with.
Looking inside the folder I saw worksheets on the multiplication tables, book reports, and an essay on the Great Depression. I let out a big yawn that seemed to last for a few minutes. Lazily bringing my eyes up to look at the clock on the microwave, I vaguely read out the time 11:10. As the time changed to 11:11, I thought of what to make of my second wish of the night. I decided I should wish for Dani. I wished that this family would be kind and caring, had a father who would spoil her sweetly, and a mother who would love her until the end of the road. The time changed to 11:12. I made good of my wish that night.
Closing the special red folder, I grabbed my laptop off of the counter next to me. It was time to work on my homework assignments. I read on and on about the Civil War, specifically the Confederacy after Lee's surrender at the Battle of Appomattox. I was slightly enamored with U.S. History. I found it intriguing enough to take a class specifically about this time period.
Though I loved history, the words just went on and on. The sentences blurred together and I felt my eyes droop and my head nodding off. Then, I heard something way off in the distance. It was like I was out in the middle of an ocean during a storm. The storm was so bad that I couldn't see past the bow of the ship but I could hear, I could hear just fine alright. There was a beacon of light and it was trying to tell me something. It was like, "Baby, baby, baby, oh! Like baby, baby, baby, no! Like baby, baby, baby, oh! Thought you'd always be mine, mine."
I awoke from my slumber with a start, cursing myself for putting my alarm straight to the radio. Who listens to Justin Bieber nowadays anyways! Grasping around for the cursed device that dared to wake me, I finally grabbed my phone just as Ludacris was saying "When I was thirteen, I found my first love..."
Pressing the answer button, I held the phone to my mouth saying, "Hello?" in a drowsy voice. "Antoinelle..." the voice said. I immediately blanched, the blood leaving my face. "So, how are you?" he said. I said nothing back to him. "Good, good..." he muttered, seeing as I wasn't replying to him.
"I see that you haven't paid your rent for this month yet..." he said. Oh butterfingers! I knew I forgot something when I was balancing my account! "So," he continued, "I've decided to pay this month's rent for you." There was a gap of silence where he waited for to me to say something, gauging my response. He didn't need to wait any longer. That last sentence had snapped me out of my reverie.
"No!" I shouted into the phone. "I didn't work so hard, so long, for you to do this to me Kent!" The male voice on the other side sighed. "You can call me Dad you know. It's not such a crime to call your father that."
That riled me up some more. Again I shouted, "I can do whatever I want to! I moved out for a reason. That was so I didn't have to depend on you anymore! You helping me means that you pulled me out of the ditch I'm in and I'll never know if I could have done it alone; and it's all thanks to you!" "You're welcome." he replied. I groaned. "Listen, I've decided I need to be more of a father then I had been." he said.
"You were no father to me you barnacle piece of poop! Where were you when I was learning ballet?! Where were you when I wanted to go to Disney?! Where were you when I made captain of the swim team in high school?! Where were you when mom died?!" I said that last one more hysterically then angry. I took a great big deep breath to calm "Nel-Nel-" "Don't you dare Nel-Nel me!" I interrupted.
It was that dreaded nickname that I had tried to get Dani to stop calling me. Mom was the only one who could call me that, and now Dani. Still, the wretched man had dared to blemish what good memories I have of her. Didn't he understand he was making it worse? I was a time bomb waiting to explode.
"You didn't mind when your mother was calling you that?" He sounded so sincere and ignorant, but I knew he was anything but naïve. "Listen," he paused, "Nellie," he added on after some consideration. He didn't deserve to call me any nickname but it was better than the other one. "I was there. I just did so in ways you couldn't understand back then." I was practically steaming with anger at this point.
"No! You weren't there! You were talking to the CEO of that big shot company and had a doctor appointment. Or you decided that the big leagues was better than a petty regional championship. And the best one, you had to go to Tahiti to seal a contract with a client whose insurance would pay for your brand new convertible. Of course, Tahiti was more important than comforting your daughter when her mother caramel and chocolate fudging left her!"
I was seething after ranting at, him. "Listen to me Nellie." he said. "This isn't about your mother or how I'm still your father and you're my baby girl. Of course I'm going to want to take care of you. No. As much as you would like it to be about something else, this is about an...early birthday present." I raised my eyebrows, then remembered he couldn't see me. "What do you mean by that?" It wasn't often my father got me presents, even when I was little. Birthday and Christmas presents were basically some money shoved into my hands.
"Just...look out the window." I pushed back my chair and stood up, walking over to the window I had in the living room that looked out just high enough to get a view of all the city lights but mostly rooftops. Opening the blinds I looked down to the empty parking lot (vehicles were mostly stored in the garage level by night time) and saw something gleaming red.
"Kent..." I dared to speak, "What is that?" All issues aside, I was genuinely interested in what he got me. "Well, I know you have to bike a lot to get around, so I got you a bigger bike."
"I don't think you and I are seeing eye-to-eye on what a bike is. That is definitely not a two-wheeled bicycle."
"Well, it's not. It's a motorcycle. Happy birthday or Easter or July 4th! Whatever you want it to be." My jaw dropped. "So," Kent said sounding pretty proud of himself, "It's a 1984 Harley-Davidson FXST Softail. It's been kept in good condition throughout the years though it's slightly restored to give it that shiny red color."
Motorized vehicles were one of the only things that we ever agreed on and talked about. I'm surprised he remembered I biked around at all let alone remember that I've always liked the Softail design. "Kent!" I said shocked, "You've outdone yourself. Really. But back to business, don't think this will make up for the years you've been gone from my life."
"Don't worry," he said, "I don't expect anything in return. Just be happy about it. The key is in your mailbox. I'm truly sorry sweetie but I have to go. I have a flight to catch in the morning and I'll be truly tired if I don't get any sleep now. Bye. It's umm, 12:24 in the morning so...good morning, good night." "Okay. Bye Kent. Don't let the nightmares fright." I hung up.
The thing about the nightmares scares me a little. I've always had nightmares, especially when I don't get enough sleep. Maybe I'll just walk around outside for a little while to ward off the bad dreams. On the other hand, maybe I'll sleep well knowing I get to drive a Softail of all things when I wake up tomorrow morning.
~
I was walking around the park, drinking a strawberry banana smoothie from the nearby 24/7 McDonald's. Turns out I did go out for a walk. I was too scared to close my eyes and face the memories. His beautiful blond hair and sparkling green eyes.
Focusing on the tree in front me, I sat down on the nearest swing and stared at the engravings on the trunk. "L + A" it said in the middle of a heart. "Pfft." I said quietly. So much for forever. I stood up. It was time to go home. Facing the memories in my sleep was better than facing them awake. At least then I could pretend it wasn't real.
**********
So she does have a past. And, it's not all awesome sunshine, butterflies, and unicorn barf either. What do you have to say to that? Really, I just want everything to flow. Tell us if you're not feeling that. It may need some *shivers* bonding time. And the Softail picture should be on the side. I like it. Hope you do too.
~L
I should've seen this coming.
~ J