I wrote this chapter whilst listening to Wait by M83 on repeat. I highly recommend you read it while doing the same, especially for during the heavy chat. The feels are gonna hit ya hard.
I jump out of my seat and throw my arms around Harry's neck before I even have a chance to think about it. He just about manages to hold the plate of pancakes out to the side before they can be sandwiched between us and huffs as I hit his chest. The back of his white t-shirt is warm from the sun and he smells like aftershave.
"Hi." He breathes in my ear and his free hand curls around my back to secure me to him.
I feel almost dizzy with emotion. "What are you doing here?"
I can feel our hearts thudding against one another; so frantically that they may burst. "I came to find you." He says three weeks too late. "And I remembered. Sundays were for Marley's and blueberry pancakes."
I want to cry.
But then I remember.
I'm mad at him.
I drop my arms and stagger backwards. My face has slipped into a frown and Harry swallows uncomfortably... just like he had on the television.
"I definitely plan to".
He darts his eyes in my direction before turning to where my mother and Jules are sat, open-mouthed and staring at us as if we're some alien life form. Other customers have also ceased in their eating and are trying to subtly get a glimpse of Harry; still carrying the plate of pancakes and looking like he wants to disappear. He places them down on the table where I was sat and clears his throat.
"I'm so sorry for interrupting your breakfast. I'm Harry, by the way." He tells my mother and Aunt, as if they didn't already know. "It's nice to finally meet you."
My face is burning scarlet. I feel like this is some sort of awkward boyfriend-meeting-the-family-for-the-first-time situation. All we need is my father and some awkward handshaking and we're basically there. Jules is now trying not to smirk and my mother looks like she's about to burst into tears.
Please, not now.
Jules - spotting that my mother is in no fit state to speak - places her fork onto her plate and smiles. "It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Jules - Sarah's Aunt - and this is Helen, Sarah's mum. We owe you quite some gratitude, Harry."
He's probably wondering what on Earth I've told them and I pray that he doesn't ask because the last time we discussed who was the better survivor, it resulted in days of awkward tension and me almost drowning. "It was a team effort." He tells them, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. "Honestly."
My mother is sobbing now and frantically trying to unfold the napkin her cutlery was resting on so that she can dry her eyes. I know I should probably comfort her or something but my feet are rooted to the ground, my eyes fixed on Harry's face. I need to know why he disappeared on me like that.
Harry clearly doesn't have a clue what to do either. He keeps looking at me out the corner of his eye and I suspect he knows. He knows I am disappointed. But this is not a conversation to be had in front of prying eyes and overemotional relatives.
"Mum, it's ok." I say eventually and bite my lip. "Why are you crying?"
She dabs under her eyes and inhales shakily. "That was the happiest I've seen you since you came home." I think we're all blushing now. "And Harry, as my sister just said - thank you for what you did for my daughter."
He runs a hand through his hair and gives her his best, dimpled grin. "You don't need to thank me." He assures her. "She was brilliant."
I drop my gaze to the dated tiles on the floor as Jules comforts my mother. I'm not hungry any more and I seriously need to get out of this emotionally suffocating atmosphere. However, I do hope that perhaps my mother will have gained some of her own closure by finally getting to speak with Harry. Seeing them converse seems to be another weight lifted from me today.
"I was wondering if I might be able to borrow Sarah for a short while?" He asks them as if reading my mind. My mother is already nodding frantically as if thrilled I'm finally getting the chance to be sociable and Jules is gesturing for us to run along.
"Go. I'll speak to you later." She says to me and I smile, remembering that she's flying tomorrow. I know our house is going to feel empty without her in it and I almost feel resentful towards myself for having spent the last three weeks in my bedroom rather than making the most of her company.
Harry gives them both an awkward wave and then turns in the direction of the door. I hurry after him, embarrassed by the looks we're getting from everyone inside but also terrified about the conversation we're about to have. He pushes the door open and we step out; washed over with sunshine immediately.
"It's not quite the same is it?" He says, looking down at where I walk beside him. I smile to myself, relieved that he gets it.
"Not really." I agree and we continue to the end of the road in silence before turning the corner towards the city centre.
He looks the same as when I last saw him and yet different at the same time. My island Harry is still there, only a little neater around the edges and with a healthier glow than he had before. It's strange seeing him dressed in something other than bright yellow swimming trunks.
"I can feel you staring at me." He observes and his lips curl into a smirk.
"Yeah, I just realised you were more attractive in the middle of the Indian Ocean." I jest and he elbows me lightly on the arm.
"How have you been?" His voice is quieter now, more reserved as if not wanting anyone to overhear. I know he's buying some time while I pluck up the courage to call him out on what he did.
"It's been hard." I admit and shove my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. "I've had some difficulty readjusting." I hate that I sound like Dr Thestle but she was annoyingly correct, despite her methods. "What about you?"
He grimaces as if he doesn't really want to say but I really want to hear. I nudge him. "It's not been great. It's been frustrating because everybody wants to help but nobody can because they weren't there. They don't get it."
I draw my lower lip into my mouth and bite down on it. This is my moment. "I was there." I tell him. "I get it." Harry doesn't comment, he just stares straight ahead with his nostrils flaring. "Why did you leave without saying goodbye, Harry? You promised you would come and find me."
It's almost painful having the words leave my body and I find my hands hovering awkwardly over my chest as if I might have to hold myself together at any moment. There's a part of me that doesn't really want Harry to know how much his actions upset me, but at the same time, I need him to know that I was hurt. That I trusted him. That for those three weeks - he was my everything. And he couldn't even give me the courtesy of saying goodbye.
He stops walking and turns to face me. His hands come down on my shoulders and suddenly his right hand is curling around the side of my face. Instinctively, I lean into his palm. He still feels so familiar.
"I promise you, Sarah," he sighs, frantically searching my eyes. "It was not my decision and I didn't want to do it. As soon as someone contacted my Mum, she decided they were flying out to bring me home there and then. My agent said it wasn't safe or ideal for anyone if they met me at the hospital. The doctor cleared me in the medical examination and before I knew it, reservations had been made at a nearby hotel and I was being ushered out through the back door. I asked if I could see you but they said you weren't finished and there was no time to wait."
I can't help my face scrunching up into a frown. "You could have gotten someone to pass on a message."
His face falls. "I know, I'm a complete arse. I was just so overwhelmed with the fact that my family knew I was alive and everything was so frantic and I just panicked. It's the worst thing I've ever done and I'm so, so sorry, Sarah."
He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear as he waits for my response. It was chaotic in the hospital and it was most definitely overwhelming. I just can't get the memory out of my head of the moment I discovered he had left; how I'd fallen into Jules as if I didn't have anything else left. All I'd wanted was to see his face again...to make sure he was ok.
"I saw you on the Late Late Show." I inform him and he grimaces again. "It was a lovely sentiment but the words I definitely plan to have been ringing in my ears ever since."
He releases a strangled sob and suddenly he's crying in the middle of the street. I look around, panic-stricken, and pull him into my arms. He's trembling in my hold and I can feel his tears soaking into the thin material of my sweatshirt. I'm taken back to the numerous times I've held Harry as he's cried and if I close my eyes, I'm sure I can hear the ocean or the wind blowing through the palm trees.
I know he's sorry.
"I forgive you." I tell him in a whisper. "I was always going to forgive you."
He cries harder and I clutch him tighter.
"I've missed you more than I ever thought possible." My voice wobbles against his chest. "I just wanted to make sure it was real. I wanted to make sure you hadn't forgotten me."
He pulls away; eyes red-rimmed and blotchy and presses his lips against my forehead. "As if I could ever forget you, Sarah Starnell."
I know what conversation is coming now. I know it's the serious stuff. I know it's the figuring out. We were stranded and we made it home. We've come full circle, Harry and I.
So what now?
The daily struggle is written on both our faces. We are tired and we are frightened. In some way, we are traumatised. What happened should never have happened to us; it brought us together but that doesn't mean it was meant to be.
Harry is familiar to me. He is warm and kind and safe. For three weeks, he was my home.
But I am home now.
And I think of Jules and the time she has spent here, making sure I am safe and healthy and happy. And how I've hardly spent a moment of it with her. I think of my parents; unsure how to even behave around me. Before, we were so open and close. Now, I feel like a stranger living in their house. I think of my beloved best friend - Addie. How she has dedicated countless hours to making me feel welcome again and how I've spent most of them scowling under my duvet cover.
My job is still waiting for me at the school; the offer floating and waiting for my acceptance. I haven't put an ounce of thought into it. I've been so consumed with getting my closure with Harry. And right now it's like that weight, that weight that's constricted my body since Harry left without saying goodbye...it's like it's gone.
Harry is Harry Styles. He's my island Harry but he's still Harry Styles. And he's going to take the world by storm, I just know it.
And guess what? I'm going to thrive as well.
"I have no expectations." I tell him quickly as he sniffs and blinks his tears away under those long lashes. "Something blossomed between us out there, we both know it. And I feel exactly the same way now but-"
"It's not the right time." We say it simultaneously. It makes it easier somehow. We laugh.
His hands curl around my face again and he smiles at me sadly. "These past three weeks, it felt like a part of me was missing. That part was most definitely you, Sarah. And I still feel the same way as I did as well, I really like you. You know this. But neither of us are in the right frame of mind right now for this to be...something more. We need to take some time; readjust and be with our families."
He's stumbling over his words and it's quite cute really. There are tears in both our eyes, but we're not sad - not really.
Because this isn't goodbye.
Just like Suwen said; Harry and I have a bond. And we'll have that bond for life.
"You're not getting rid of me, Sarah Starnell." He removes his right hand and taps his head with his index finger. "I will come and find you as soon as I've finished up in there, I promise."
And you know what? This time, I believe him.
"There's no end, there is no goodbye." - Wait, M83.
a/n: *hides behind bulletproof glass/walls/indestructible things*
This isn't the ending that most of you wanted. I've had a lot of comments expressing your want for them to be married and together as a couple. But this isn't your typical love story and I wanted it to be as realistic as possible. I strongly believe that this was the right ending. It doesn't say they will never find each other again/never be together, just that they have to work through some *stuff* before they can even consider it. And I think that's pretty damn grown up. I'm sad that Stranded has come to the end because I really loved writing it but it I'm so pleased that it all came together just as I envisioned. Thank you so much for all the reads, votes and comments - Stranded is ranked at #181 today which is truly amazing! Please let me know below what you thought (even if you aren't happy with the ending!) and there's still an epilogue to come which I think is probably my favourite chapter in the whole story, so stay tuned and thank you again!