Chapter 15- Shouldn't Care...
The crowd gasps as they figure it out. There are two couples from District Twelve. My reaction? Hsbancbakxbak!! That's all my brain could think. I couldn't compose my thoughts or my face as I gapped at him. I see the cameras zoom in on me and my face is tomato red. My mouth hangs open and I just stare at him.
"I see. It seems we are in for a treat this year to see how these star-crossed lovers will survive. Best of luck to you, Jay Keene."
Jay, whose face is as red as mine, murmurs thanks before taking his seat by me. I just look at him with my mouth hanging open. I can think but I can't say anything or hardly breathe.
I need to think about this but I shouldn't act like Katniss. I look around at the rest of the tributes around me and realize something. The Hunger Games tears friends and families apart. Just looking at all of these people about to go against the ones they love. Cato and Atlas. Titus and Althea. Zaavia whose family was already ripped apart. Katniss and Peeta. And, apparently, Jay and me.
After the anthem, we're sent onto the elevators. I don't say a word to Jay or look at him on the way. I know he just did it for show but he could have told me first. But, I guess that would have ruined my reaction because I'm not a good actress. I was a tree in our Wizard of Oz play. I fell over and lost a few of my branches. I didn't even have to talk and I still sucked. For some reason I feel like I belong more to the Hunger Games world than the real one.
Wait... Usually I would have slipped into a memory at that point. What gives? I guess it could help me sometimes, but now I get no help.
I see Katniss beside me, smoke almost coming from her ears. I know what's about to happen and I know I'm not afraid to change things anymore. So when the elevator opens and we see Peeta stepping off, everything moves in slow motion. Katniss is moving forward in a rage and I step between her and Peeta.
The world suddenly speeds up again as I'm knocked against an urn. My hands hit it like Peeta's should have and blood comes from little cuts on them. I suck in a sharp breath. That felt worse than it is. But I'm just glad it wasn't worse. From where Peeta was standing he would have hit it at just the angle to get cut worse.
"Dot!" Jay screams as Katniss looks between me and Peeta. Her eyes are wide as she realizes what she's just done. Jay rushes forward and starts to check my hands. I wince as he pulls a tiny shard from my palm. Peeta looks at me as it dawns on him what I just did. This wouldn't change everything... Would it?
Suddenly, Effie, Haymitch, Cinna, and Portia are there. They're asking what happened and trying to help me up.
"What's going on?" Effie asks. "Did you fall?"
"Yes." I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Dot.. I'm so sorry. I pushed her." Katniss says.
"Pushed her?" Haymitch asks.
"I meant to push Peeta..." she says, her attention turning back to him where she slaps him.
"What was that for?" he asks, holding his cheek.
Then they get into this huge argument that I had been trying to avoid. I sigh as Jay continues carefully pulling small shards from my hands.
I jerk my head up when Haymitch said, "Blye didn't have a problem with it!" Oh no! Don't bring me into this! I shifted to where I was hidden behind Jay. Finally the argument starts to dwindle as Katniss realizes they're right.
Katniss finally turns to me. "I'm sorry, Dot." Haymitch makes a noise and she turns to Peeta, her eyes narrowing a bit. "I'm sorry I tried to shove you."
"It's fine," he shrugs. The he turns to me, too. "Are your hands okay?"
"They're fine. It would have been worse for you because of the angle you would have fallen at." I give him a half smile. "It's okay, Katniss. Just don't get as upset next time."
She raises her eyebrows at me when I say "next time". I just shrug. We go to eat but my hands sting whenever I touch something. Finally, Cinna takes me to find a first aid kit. It's so small and when he opens it, it looks anything but. They're types of creams, bandages, and other things I've never seen before. Cinna carefully puts some cotton on the biggest cut that's still bleeding. The rest he just puts some cream on and bandages slightly because they stopped bleeding. By the time we get back, Jay looks worried, Katniss looks guilty, and Haymitch looks drunk.
But I don't think of any of them because I just remembered something. We're going into the arena tomorrow. The freakin' arena... And my hands... Will the be better in time?
I try to calm down as we watch the replays in the sitting room. I seem sort of nice and funny. It doesn't seem like I talk that much because the interview's only three minutes. After the interviews, we're so quiet. Tomorrow morning. The arena. I've been having a sort of good time that I almost forgot about it. I need to write a will or something.
I'll leave my bed to my cat, Noodles. Jay can have my car. Lily can have my flat screen. That sucks. Those are my only real friends, and one is my cat.
Effie comes over to all of us with tears in her eyes to wish us well. Then she kisses us on the cheek and is gone. Just seeing Effie cry makes my eyes start tearing up. Haymitch just crosses his arms and looks at all of us.
"Any final words of advice?" Peeta asks.
"When the gong sounds, get the heck out of there. You're none of you up to the blood bath at the Cornucopia. Just clear out, put as much distance as you can between yourselves and the others, and find a source of water," he says. "Got it?"
"And after that?" Katniss asks.
"Stay alive." Haymitch says, serious this time. So deadly serious. We only nod. I can't even talk as tears run down my face. They probably think I'm weak for crying. But, I'm the bravest because they are all clinging to a hope that they're coming out. I'm hoping that I won't come out because it means Jay's alive. Finally I just head to my room.
I take a shower, washing all of the powder, makeup, and hair products down the drain. I don't even flinch when I'm sprayed with citrus. I breathe it in because this will probably be the last time I ever smell it. I feel depressed as I step into a fuzzy robe and not smile when my hair is in ringlets. I just put on a light pink nightgown and sit on my bed. I put my head in my hands as I cry.
After a few hours, I'm convinced I'm not going to get tired soon. I get up and grab a blanket. I throw it over my shoulders as I head out the door. I start up to the roof and take a deep breath. I probably look like a wreck. I'm confirmed when I see Peeta and Jay talking but Jay stops to come hug me. I just collapse in his arms. When Katniss walks up the steps, I drag Jay into the garden. I know they need to talk.
I sit down by the flowers and sniff them. "This may be the last time I can smell them."
"Don't overreact Dot. We're both coming out alive."
You might, I think. Then I start sobbing again. Jay just holds me, trying to calm me. After I start calming down, Jay says, "I think we should split up in the Games. Like, I go with Peeta and you go with Katniss. Make sure everything turns out okay and as it was supposed to."
"But, I... What if one of us gets killed?"
"I think the other shouldn't care. We need to stop acting like best friends and turn against each other."
"What? But we are best friends! And we have to act all lovey dovey because you said you loved me. Why did you do that, by the way?"
"But, if we stick together, we're weaker. They know if they take one of us out, it would kill the other. So we're avoiding each other as of now." he says sternly, getting up. His jaw is locked, and his eyes seem to glow in the dark as he turns around and walks away.
"Jay! Jay!" I try to get up but I start hiccuping because I'm crying so hard. "Please don't leave me." I whisper into the darkness. What has gotten into him? It's not like Jay to just leave me like that. Something's wrong.
And Katniss finds me just like that a few minutes later. Hugging my blanket, sobbing and hiccuping, and on the floor. I can't stop. I think I've finally lost my mind. I'm going to die in the arena, giving my life for my so-called best friend. Was he planning to do this the whole time? Trying to lessen the blow by acting all sweet and giving me this stupid locket? I grab it in my hand, meaning to rip it off, but I can't. I just can't do it.
Katniss helps me off the floor and to my room. She washes my face because it's so red and I can't cry anymore. I just stand there with a blank face. By the time I'm in bed, I know I'm not going to get much sleep.
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I wake up in the morning, hardly remembering I slept at all. I don't see Jay and I don't want to. Cinna comes to get Katniss and I before dawn and gives us something to wear. As he guides us up to the roof, I remember what's going to happen. I hate needles. Katniss climbs up a few feet before I step on and we're instantly frozen like I knew would happen. But this makes me think.
While I wince from the pain of my tracker being injected, my thoughts grow. I don't need Jay! I know what's going to happen and I'm going to make a difference! I finally found my skill and I'm going to save people! I don't know how, I just know I'm going to do it. Watch out Hunger Games.
I try to remember that as we eat breakfast. I eat as much as I can though I'm not hungry. I will be in the Hunger Games.
After about half an hour, the hovercraft lands and we all go back down the ladder. It leads us into an underground tube beneath the arena. I hug Katniss and wish her luck before I'm guided to my Launch Room. I still try to remember that I'm going to survive as I take a shower and brush my teeth. Cinna puts three ponytail holders in my hair in case I need them. I wear my hair low, going down my back. He goes to get Katniss changed, then comes back for me. I'm glad they gave us jackets because who knows if I'll get a blanket or not. I don't know if I'll even get weapons.
He makes sure I have my locket and I smile at him. "Does everything feel comfortable?" I move around, waving my arms and running. I nod. "Do you want something else to eat? A glass of water?"
"A glass of water, please?" I say, my voice hoarse. I would puke if I ate anymore, but I know water will be a problem. I make sure I drink a good bit as Cinna goes to check on Katniss. He comes back in a moment later.
"You should stay with Katniss." I say.
"I think she wants me to say with you after giving her the 'better dress'" he smiles at me. "And how you've had a rough night."
"You heard about that?"
He nods and takes my hand. "Jay might have said he doesn't care but I think we both know he does." I stare at my feet as he says this. But I'm not going to talk to him until I save him.
A voice then announces its time for launch and my heart goes into overdrive. I'm not a fast runner but I need to be to get something.
I hold (more like crush) Cinna's hand as I walk over to stand on the circular metal plate.
"Remember what Haymitch said. Run, find water. The rest will follow." he says. "And remember this. I'm not allowed to bet, but if I could, I would bet on either you or Katniss." I smile as I remember he said that to Katniss.
"Thank you, Cinna. For everything." he leans down and kisses my forehead.
"Good luck, Dot the girl on fire." he says as a glass tube is lowering on me. I start to panic as I can't hold Cinna's hand anymore. He taps his chin, meaning for me to hold my head high. I wave at him sadly as the cylinder begins to rise and he disappears.
Soon I'm pushed into the open and I try not to react like a vampire. I cover my eyes as I try to look around. But I still can't see anything as wind blows in my face. I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
Then I can hear Claudius's voice booming on invisible speakers.
"Lady's and gentlemen, let the Seventy-fifth Hunger Games begin!"