Ashton’s POV
“Ashton?”
“In the flesh.” I said with a shrug, my hands still in my pockets. Luke looked at his feet then back up to me with his expression still confused.
“What are you here for?” he asked like he had no idea. He had invited me over earlier the little shit and here I am. Granted I did tell him no and was rude but hey whatever.
“Are you gonna let me in mate or are we gonna draw plant cells outside?” I asked and gestured to the front porch. He stepped aside allowing me to walk in and he shut the door behind me. His house was huge. Most of the living room was beige and the walls were covered in family pictures. I don’t even think my mum took pictures of me when I was a baby. Too late now I guess. The kitchen was nothing but stainless steel and marble and I felt so out of place in this house. Of course Michael’s house was nice but it felt homey not like a museum like Luke’s.
The younger lad led us up the stairs to a large bedroom. It looked like a typical teenager’s room with band posters everywhere and an unmade bed. Despite the messy bed Luke’s room looked insanely organized and neat. Oh nice he's one of those OCD people.
“You can sit at the desk or on the bed and just throw your bag anywhere. I’m gonna go to our home office and find some supplies.” He stammered then took off out his bedroom. I walked over to a dresser that had cologne bottles, bracelets and a large picture frame with a necklace hanging on it. The necklace was a guitar pick with an ‘L’ in the center and the picture was of Luke and who I assumed was his dad.
Luke looked so happy in the picture. He was smiling deeply with squinted eyes. The man with him had his arm draped over Luke’s shoulder, smiling as big as Luke. I wondered if Luke ever smiled like that anymore, he really should it was a beautiful sight to see. The posters on his wall were similar to mine; actually one of his Green Day posters was exactly the same. I smiled a little at the memory of that concert a couple years ago. Karen bought Michael and me tickets and we stole that poster from the merchandise stand. I giggled softly thinking about how panicked Michael was at first.
“Okay I found everything we need except a poster board but my mom can get us one.” Luke said and threw art supplies and construction paper down on his bed. He sighed at the pile of art shit then his eyes looked back up to me. His hand ran through his hair nervously and he bit his lip. Damn him and his lip biting. He looked away fast and walked over to his desk.
“Did you go to that Green Day concert?” I asked hoping to keep steady conversation but Luke just tensed up and refused to look back at me.
“Yeah, I did. Okay plants or animal cells first?” his voice rasped nervously obviously avoiding the subject. No need for him to freak I was just asking.
“I don’t care; I’ve already failed biology once my opinion isn’t the best.” I shrugged and sat down on his bed. Luke glanced at me and turned to open his biology textbook.
“Well let’s get started on plant cells first.” Luke said and set the book down in front of me and crawling next to me on his bed. Our knees brushed and Luke pulled his away nervously. I smiled at how nervous he was. Obviously he never had many friends over.
After about an hour of me writing down functions and Luke rambling on in scientific words I didn’t understand I was so close to screaming. No wonder I always got shitty grades because good grades required effort and I was too damn lazy for that. Well except English because for some reason I was good at that subject. I sighed loudly and threw the pencil I was using down onto the piles of papers. Luke looked over to me and sat down the book in front of his crossed legs.
“I think we need a break.” Luke said and climbed off the bed to stretch. I followed and checked my phone to see Mikey had text me a few times. I quickly replied and checked the time to see it was only 6:30. Damn we didn’t even burn that much time but got at least halfway through.
“Have you been to many concerts?” I asked and Luke’s head snapped up from the floor with burning blue eyes. He got tense every time I mentioned concerts and I was beginning to wonder why. He started picking up all our work from his bed and stacking it neatly on the desk. Is he seriously just gonna ignore me?
“No I’ve only ever been to the Green Day concert but I'm saving up money for Fall Out Boy’s next tour. They are going to be in Portland early next year and I want to go so bad.” He said as his hands diligently moved around the papers.
“That’d be sick man. I hope you get tickets.” I said suddenly feeling some sort of feeling building in my chest. What even is this? Do people feel like this often? All hopeful and shit, I didn’t like it.
“Thanks “man”.” Luke mocked with his fingers air quoting when he said man. This kid is so moody and closed off. Don’t be a hypocrite Ashton, I told myself.
“Well this little party has been… fun, but I have somewhere I really need to be. Bye Luke.” I said and picked up my backpack. I hurried out of Luke’s front door and back over to Michael’s. he was in the family room playing a video game so I could head upstairs away from all his stupid questions.
In an hour we were on our way to Rhett’s in my truck, blaring anything rock. The windows were all down allowing the wind to blow through my hair. I wished the wind would blow away the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. All I could see every time I closed my eyes was the blue of Luke’s eyes. His smile was imprinted in my brain and his voice was singing on replay in my mind. There was something about him I craved wanted and hell maybe even needed. I wanted to know more about him; I wanted his voice to ramble on for hours about anything and everything. He was a code a definitely wanted to crack.
I really needed tonight to just get drunk and drown those damn blue eyes out of my mind. He was just another person I needed to ignore. That’s it just ignore him Ashton and he will disappear like everyone else did. As if he would even like someone like me, he has no idea what I am capable of. Besides he’s probably not a gay fuck up like I am. We pulled up to Rhett’s house and I wasted no time heading inside and straight for the beer in his fridge. The more I could drink the more I could forget but tonight that didn’t seem to be the case. The more I was drinking the more I wanted to tear my skin off to get away from the burning hate that was inside. But beer after beer and shot after shot I kept begging for numbness to come but all that did was the vision of a blonde haired and blue eyed boy who I wanted to know.
Luke’s POV
I watched Ashton hurry out of my room and I began to tug on the roots of my hair. what is wrong with me? I'm not gay, I like girls. But Ashton there is something about Ashton that makes me melt. His eyes are a color I’ve only dreamt about and when he smiles I find myself getting nervous. But girls, I really like girls. Maybe I'm bi; I mean that’s not a bad thing right? Being bi because a lot of people are bisexual or at least curious about being bi. Maybe it’s just Ashton. Ashton is just attractive and has me flustered. But he’s not gay! He’s mister tough guy with a tattoo and a bad attitude. Ugh this is ridiculous. I sighed and fell back onto my bed but my phone started ringing at my desk.
Calum’s contact popped up on my screen and I slid my finger over the green bar and answered the call.
“Hey Cal.” I said. I walked over to my bed and lay back down.
“Lukey! I got the new FIFA and I’ll be over in five.” He said using the ridiculous nickname he’s been calling me since like the 6th grade. Before I could say anything the line went dead. I groaned in defeat and made my way downstairs.
My mom was in the kitchen making dinner and my brother Jack was nowhere to be found. He’s probably out with his awful girlfriend, yuck. She’s like head cheerleader or something but she’s a total, pardon my language, bitch. Whatever my mom was cooking smelled amazing and I didn’t notice how hungry I was.
“Hey Luke how was school today?” she asked, stirring something in a big pot. I hopped up on the counter and started munching on some grapes.
“it was okay I guess. What are you making?” I asked before I popped another grape in my mouth.
“Spaghetti. Is Calum coming over?” she asked knowing that nearly every Friday Calum and I are attached at the hip. We’ve spent so much time together our whole lives because he lives across the street and our dads used to work together. Our moms became really good friends and know how close we are.
“Yup,” I said hopping from the counter just as the front door opened. “And that would be him now.” I walked passed my mom at the stove giving her a quick peck on the cheek before Calum entered the kitchen. He smiled at me and walked over to give my mom a hug.
“Hello Mrs. Hemms, something smells amazing.” Calum said and hugged my mom like her own sons do. He called my mom Mrs. Hemms because I called dibs on calling his mom Mrs. H.
“I’ll call you boys in when it’s finished.” My mom said, shooing us away.
We went to the basement which is our “man cave” of the house, or at least that’s what my dad used to call it. I put the game in the console and Calum kicked my ass game after game. I thought video games with Cal would be a distraction but I just couldn’t stop thinking about Ashton. Apparently Cal sensed something was up because he paused the game and turned to look at me with his concerned brown eyes.
“Alright, what’s her name?” he asked and put his controller on the table in front of us. I followed suit but couldn’t stop staring at my feet. Calum was my best friend and like a brother to me I should be able to tell him anything. he always knew when I had a crush on a girl but this time it wasn’t a girl.
“Uh Cal what if I told you it wasn’t a girl?” I winced at my own words and refused to look over at my best friend.
“Who is it then?” Calum asked casually completely bypassing the subject.
“His name is Ashton Irwin.” I said and felt my chest tighten just at the mention of his name.
“That senior in your geometry class that always hangs out with that colored haired kid who lives next door?” he asked and I finally looked up at Calum who had a half smile on his face.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“He’s a little bit bad ass for you isn’t he?” Calum joked.
“kinda- Wait! You totally avoided the fact that I pretty much came out to you Cal! aren’t you freaked out?” I asked feeling suddenly anxious.
“Nah bud. If you like guys or girls or even both I'm still your best friend and I love you. You can always talk to me about anything and you know that.” Calum rested his hand on my shoulder and smiled.
“Thanks Cal.” I said pulling him in for a hug.
“I'm just relieved it wasn’t me. I mean I am beautifully rugged but I like girls too much.” Calum teased and I slapped the back of his head laughing at my conceited best friend.
“shut up Cal.” I said still laughing.
“So what are you going to do about Ashton? Is he even gay? I mean he’s pretty tough looking.” Calum said.
“I know but I have no clue what to do. He came over this afternoon and I just got jittery and nervous and…”
“He was here this afternoon?” Calum interrupted.
“Yeah he’s my lab partner and also in music.” I explained.
“Well there you go! Just get to know him!” Calum said like it was the easiest thing in the world.
“It’s not that easy Cal. it’s not that easy.” I said feeling utterly defeated. The rest of the night Calum and I just talked about life and random stuff but I couldn’t get the hazel eyes out of my mind. Just get to know him, I told myself. But it’s not that simple for someone like me who is nearly invisible.
It’s just not that simple for me.
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I love writing this story :)
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