Chapter 22
I looked in the mirror at my appearance and then looked back at Karen. I pulled my skirt and top down.
"Alyssa stop!" she said fixing my top and hiking up my skirt.
"Karen I feel, no, correct that, I look like a slut!" I shouted.
"Actually you look cute and you're trying to make Jake jealous and this outfit will definitely work." She stated.
I looked at my appearance once again. My white shirt was folded and tied so that it stopped right under my breast line and under the shirt you could see my red lace bra which peeked out at the top of my shirt. The red skirt which barely covered my ass made me feel naked. Karen had tried to get me to wear a red thong under the skirt but I objected and went for red lace boy shorts which matched my bra. The white socks rested about an inch above my knees and the red chucks definitely made the outfit a little less sluttish. My hair was in two pig tails which were tied in red ribbons and as for my face, I only wore eye liner and lip gloss.
I looked at Karen, she was wearing a piece of lingerie that was black silk and lacey. She wore cat ears on her head and painted whiskers on her face to turn it into a costume. Chris had invited us to a costume kind of party at his dorm and he told me that I needed to be there. It was problem a costume party only for girls though. The guys weren't going to dress up. They just wanted to see the girls with as little as possible on. I didn't want to go at first until Karen brought up this whole making Jake jealous thing. To be truthful I was still heartbroken and my heart ached for Jake. My body ached for Jake to have his arms around me. My lips ached for his to be pressed against mine. I missed him so much but I tried to hide it. I tried to act like he didn't affect me anymore, like I was over him, but inside I wasn't and I was hurting so bad; on the inside I was slowly deteriorating. I hadn't seen Jake in two weeks since the time I went over his place and he called me pathetic. Tears started to appear in my eyes as I thought about it again.
"Alyssa are you okay?" Karen asked.
"Yea," I said gathering myself together. Tonight, I was going to be over Jake. I would dance with anybody and everybody there no matter what. If he still cared for me, he would say or do something. If not, I guess he really didn't love me anymore. Tonight there was only one thing on my mind-
MAKE JAKE TAYLOR WILLIAMS JEALOUS!
"You ready?" I asked her.
"Yea," she replied.
"Let's do this," I told her grabbing my keys off the dresser.
I stepped out the car and walked over to where Karen was. I was so nervous that it felt like I had about a billion butterflies in my stomach and none of them would fly away.
"I can't do this," I told Karen heading back to the car. She grabbed my hand and pulled me back.
"Yes you can Alyssa, just take a deep breath. Breathe in and breathe out," she repeated.
"Okay," I said.
"You ready?" she asked.
"I'm ready." She grabbed my hand and we walked up the stairs. God I felt like I was getting the death penalty and I was taking my walk to the electric chair or injection room. I felt Karen squeeze my hand then tug on it. I looked up. We were at the door and I could already hear music blaring from inside. Karen let go of my hand and opened the door. Here we go, there was no turning back now. I had to do this. I stepped inside behind Karen and closed the door. I walked with her as she went into the kitchen.
"Here," she said handing me a cup filled with a drink.
"What is this?" I asked her before drinking.
"Something to make things easier, trust me you'll need it," she said drinking some of the drink in her hand. I put the cup to my lips and slowly drank. It left a warm feeling in my throat as it passed down. I gave her back the cup and she set in down.
"Alright go do your thing girl!" I smiled at Karen and then walked away to scan the room. I didn't see anybody I knew meaning no Chris and no Jake. Ugh, don't seem like you're looking for him I told myself. He could be watching me and I didn't know it. I turned back around to go find Karen when a guy approached me.
"Hey Baby!" he said. Usually I would roll my eyes and walk away from guys like this, but my objective was to make Jake jealous so I flirted with him; besides he was cute.
"Hey sexy!" I said turning to face him head on.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Hmmm, that's for me to know and you to find out," I said. He chuckled
"So how about you give me a dance?" he asked placing his hand on my hips.
"Sure," I said as we walked to where most people were dancing. 'Little freak' by Usher and Nikki Minaj was blasting on the stereo.
"So," the guy said in my ear, "What's it going to take for me to get your name?"
"For starters, you can tell me yours," I replied.
"Darian," he responded.
"Darian," I repeated. "I like it, but the song just ended and your time is up," I said walking away from him.
I leaned against a table as guy number 13 approached me. Yes I had been counting as all types of guys came up to me. Tall ones, short one, chubby ones, fat ones, skinny ones, muscular ones, Asian guys, black guys, white guys, and Hispanic guys;. I was so tired from dancing. I ran my eyes over the guy in front of me who was approaching me. He was tall, white, with tanned skin. He had blue eyes and brownish blond hair.
"Hey," he said as he approached me.
"Hey," I replied.
"You want to dance," he asked me. I started to say no until I spotted Jake. I felt like my heart was going to jump out my chest and run over there to him. 'Keep your emotions in check' I repeated inside my head. I looked out my peripheral vision and saw that Jake's gaze was on me. That determined my answer.
"Of course," I replied. The guy grabbed my hand and led me to the floor as 'Sexy Girl Anthem' by Roscoe Dash came through the stereos. The guy grabbed my waist and pressed me closer to him.
"Here's your song, you're definitely the sexiest girl I've ever seen," he said into my ear. I smiled as a blush crept on my face. I danced with the guy and he grinded against me. I snuck a look at Jake and oh my gosh he was looking at me. I quickly averted my gaze and continued dancing. Once the song was over me and the guy went to go get a drink. I watched him as he filled the cup making sure he didn't add anything extra to it. He gave me my drink.
"So what's your name stranger?" he asked.
"Alyssa yours?"
"Mike," he stated. I was about to ask him to dance again when another girl beat me to the punch. He looked at me and I nodded saying it was alright. I sat there drinking my drink until Chris approached me.
"Damn--------” Chris exaggerated. “Alyssa, you know you looking fine tonight!" Chris said. I laughed.
"Whatever Chris, where have you been? I've been here for hours and this is my first time seeing you," I said.
"Well I had to take care of some business," he responded. I laughed.
"So you seen Jake tonight?" he asked me.
"Yea, I spotted him," I told him.
"You talk to him?" he asked.
"No, why would I?" I said trying to make it seem that I was really over him.
"Come on Alyssa, don't play games."
"I'm not playing games I'm just not thinking about him. I'm having fun tonight," I said. He looked at me skeptically.
"Alright then, come dance with me," he said.
"My pleasure." I grabbed his hand and headed for another dance. Chris was guy number 14. I started to move my hips as I heard my song 'Ride it' By Ciara came on. Chris grazed his lips across my ear.
"Show me what you've got and don't hold back." He told me.
"Oh trust me I won't," I said as I moved my hips to the beat. I bent over and slow grinded against Chris as the first verse played. Chris had one hand on my hip and the other on my back as I was bent over. I came up as the chorus came on and pressed my butt harder against Chris. I turned my head.
"Am I turning you on?" I asked feeling his hardness against my ass.
"Maybe," he said as he grinded against me. I turned around and rolled my body against his. This was so much fun. I looked around the room for Jake. I didn't see him. Ugh I knew dancing with Chris would definitely have an effect on him.
"You and Jake are over right?" Chris said breaking my thoughts.
"Yea," I stated.
"Well maybe we can finish this in my room," He said into my ear. I laughed.
"Maybe," I said joking with him. He laughed.
"You're not a good liar," Chris said in my ear as we danced.
"What you mean?"
"You know damn well you wouldn't let me fuck you!"
"You don't know that!" I told him.
"Yea I do," he said. "You're trying to make Jake jealous, I'm not dumb," he stated.
"Chris-" I started.
"Don't worry. I'll help you out," he said as he slid his hand under my skirt and rested it on my hip. He moved my hips so that I was grinding harder against him and I was beginning to enjoy it. No, what was I thinking? I was trying to make Jake jealous. I felt Chris lips caress my neck. He placed kisses on my neck as I continued to grind my hips against his. His tongue outlined the vein in my neck. God this felt good. Maybe I was desperate, I don't know. Maybe I needed to feel wanted and needed by somebody or maybe it was the liquor talking. Whatever it was, it caused me to say these next words I thought I would never hear myself say.
"Chris, I want to fuck you tonight," I gasped as I grinded my hips into him harder each second. I felt his hand tug at my panties.
"No you don't, and as bad as I want you, I'm not going to take advantage of you like that. Besides, you're still in love with Jake and he is still in love with you."
"You don't know that." I told him
"Yea I do."
"How?" I asked him.
"Because he's about to rescue you from me," he said. The next thing I knew I was being torn away from Chris.
"Alyssa what the fuck is you're problem... Chris what the fuck are you doing?" Jake asked furiously. I looked at him as he still held a tight grip on my arm. Anger masked his face and his jaw was tense. Holy shit that meant he still loved me.
"Chill Jake I'm just fucking with ya," he said laughing. "It was a joke."
"Fuck you!" Jake spat. Chris laughed it off which I was glad for. I don't think I could handle a fight right now.
"Everybody knows you still care about her," Chris said with a smirk on his face.
"Don't ever put your hands on her again!" Jake yelled as he walked away dragging me since he still had a death grip on my arm.
"Jake stop," I said but he kept walking.
"Jake stop you're hurting me," I said as he pulled me into his room and locked the door.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked as he let go of my arm.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said talking to him the same way he was talking to me.
"Dancing with all these guys," Yay he had saw me. "Grinding on them and look at how you're dressed, that's not you," he said.
"Why do you care," I yelled at him. "It shouldn't matter to you who I dance with or what I wear or do."
"Well it does, especially when you let my roommate put his hands up your skirt." He stated. Was my plan working? Was he jealous?
"Well it shouldn't and I don't care what you think, so I'm going to get back to the party," I said walking away from him to the door.
"Don't do it," he said.
"Do what?" I asked turning around to look at him.
"I saw what you said to Chris. I read your lips, don't waste your time having sex with him, do it with somebody who actually cares about you," he stated.
"Like who? You?" I sucked my teeth and let out a sigh. "I'll have sex with whoever the fuck I want." I said turning my back towards him. He grabbed my arm pulling me back and pressed my body against the wall.
"Not tonight you won't," he said before pressing his lips against mine. I hesitated at first but then I quickly responded. God I missed those lips so much. I felt like I was in heaven floating on cloud nine, but wait... he didn't want to be with me. I pushed him back.
"Jake-" He cut me off by pressing his lips back against mine. I gave in. I moved my lips against his. He asked for entrance and without a second thought I let him in. Our tongues moved together as he pressed his body harder against mine. Jake was driving me crazy and there was nothing I could do about it. His hands roamed under my skirt and he groped my butt. God what was I doing? I pushed him back a little gasping for air. His lips immediately clung to my neck as he licked and sucked. I moaned. He trailed his kisses down my neck to my chest and then untied the front of my shirt tearing it from my body. He kissed up and down my stomach. I reached my hands down to the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. I placed kisses up and down his chest; I missed his body so much. I brought my lips back up to meet his because they were craving way too much. Jake picked me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist and then walked me over to the bed to lay me down. He placed kisses from my stomach until he reached my waist line and then he pulled the skirt off so he could place kisses on my inner thigh and down my legs. He pulled off my shoes and then my socks. He towered over my body and brought his lips to mine. I pressed my lips harder against his as he massaged my boobs through my bra. He began to pull away but I sat up not ready for him to break the kiss. He succeeded and let out a soft chuckle. Jake then reached his hand behind my back and undid my bra. My boobs spilled out and he hurriedly took one into his mouth. I threw my head back and moaned his name.
"Jake I need you so much right now." I reached my hands down to his jeans and undid his belt buckle and pulled them down along with his boxers. I stared at him taking his appearance in, I had missed him so much. He smiled as he noticed me staring. He hovered above me and rested in between my legs and then kissed my lips softly as he rubbed his hand up and down my body. He tugged at the waistline of my panties and pulled them down and off. I felt his hard manhood rest in between my legs. I looked up at him.
"Condom?" I questioned. He averted his gaze.
"Jake," I said.
"I don't want to use one. I want to feel you Lyssa." He knew I didn't like not using condoms because too many young girls got pregnant these days and I definitely didn't want to be another statistic. We had only not used a condom once and I regretted it afterward, not to mention I was horrified until I got my next period.
"Whatever," I said giving in. He rubbed his manhood against my spot causing my body to shudder in response. What was he doing? He placed kisses on my neck and shoulder.
"Don't tease me like that," I said into his ear. He then plunged inside of me leaving me to dig my nails in his back. I moaned with each thrust. His body moved against mine, every inch of him colliding with me. He brought his mouth down to mine so his tongue could find mine and make our tongues dance together as his thrust became harder and harder. I screamed Jake's name as he continued making me get closer and closer to reaching my peak. I gripped the sheets in my hands and arched my back as my body reached its climax and my muscles tightened around Jake which caused him to release inside of me. He kissed up and down my neck as my body trembled beneath his.
"Are you okay?" he asked me.
"Yea," I said breathless as I shifted beneath him. He rolled off of me and lay down beside me. I turned over and lay my head on his chest and interlaced my fingers with his. We lay there in complete silence for about thirty minutes before Jake broke it.
"Alyssa we-"
"Don't," I said cutting him off. I knew what he was going to say. I had realized it sometime during that thirty minutes of silence. "I know," I said as a tear fell from my eye. For whatever reason, he still didn't want to be with me and he wasn't going to change his mind. Why? I don't know but I wasn't going to argue with him. I didn't want to. I wasn't going to cry anymore, at least not in front of him. I would soon get over it and get on with my life but I wanted to savor the moment with him. I wanted to remember the good times we shared not the worse. He reached his hand up to my face and wiped the few tears that had fallen from my eyes and wrapped his arms around me.
"No regrets?" he asked me. I let out a sigh.
"No regrets," I replied before falling asleep against his chest in his arms.
I slowly made my way out of Jake's arms and got off the bed trying with all my might not to wake him up. It was dark and I could barely see, the only thing helping out was the moonlight that shone in through his window. I went and grabbed my clothes and threw them on. This time not bothering with tying the shirt or putting on my shoes. I looked around for my phone and found it almost under the bed. I checked the time: 3:45 am. I walked over to the door and opened it but took one last glance at Jake's sleeping figure. I was through with him and was going to leave him behind. I wasn't going to cry over him anymore. I was going to be strong and move on with my life even though I knew I would miss him like crazy. Closing the door, I walked into the kitchen to look for my keys. As soon as I found them, I headed out the door and to my car. If I wanted to get over him, I could never come back here. Jake was my past and my past was now behind me.