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I just want to start of with a big'ol thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I don't even understand how this story has 100,000 reads. It's just so incredible. You guys have given me the confidence to publish my work- but most importantly be proud of it. I'm so glad I have a platform where I can interact with you guys- and spread messages I think are extremely important. I love you all in ways you wouldn't even believe.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
-Marcella Rodio
Elizabeth's POV
15 years later.
"Okay, Okay." I chuckle, cringing slightly as my microphone lets out a loud screech. Laughter echoes around the room, and so does the clatter of waitresses and waiters carrying platters of food to each table. Fifteen years ago the class of 22 graduated from Allen wood high, and now we've all been gathered to celebrate in a reunion. In all honesty it really is just a social event- where people brag about their jobs, and partners, and kids- Maybe even their car.
"Woah- can you believe it. It's been fifteen years since I've last seen you all- and I'm not sure that's a bad thing." I say. I play with my pearl necklace nervously, but thankfully everyone laughs happily. My husband Alexei told me to start of my speech with humour- thank god I listened to him.
"Thankfully we all dress better now- Do you all remember the dreads Martin used to wear? I certainly haven't forgotten." Laughter rings out again- and Martin Brown blushes as one of his friends messes up his meticulously gelled back grey hair. Definitely an improvement.
"I'm so glad to see how well this class has done. We have Meghan who's the CEO of Blooms And Suits, George who has recently signed his tenth contract with the Giants, Alissa who has come all the way from Hollywood, and my dear Husband Alexei- whose truly making an impact in the architectural field- his most amazing achievement marrying me of course."
The room erupts in laughter, and my husband raises his glass of champagne with a wink in my direction. He truly is handsome, with his strong jaw, gray eyes, and dark eyebrows.
"We have truly come a long way from the teens we used to be- wandering through life not knowing where we would end up. I defiantly didn't know where my life would be heading-if my life would even continue at all fifteen years ago."
The room quiets, and I look up nervously.
"The year we graduated, was also the year we lost three classmates. Alice O'Conner, Alex North," I swallow, "and Mason Dale."
The room is solemn now, and eyes are staring up at me curiously. All anybody knows is rumors. But if they're waiting for answers I'm not sure I'm the one to grant them.
"Two of these classmates died of suicide. Suicide that could have been prevented. As a survivor of suicide, I can tell you all whole heartedly, that these deaths needed not to occur. But because these two people felt so isolated and alone- as I did once- they felt as if it was their only escape from a world that hated them was by taking their own life."
I shakingly take a breath as my voices catches with emotion. As stare in Alexei's direction, and he offers me a comforting smile.
"That's why ten years ago I formed my non-profit organization- No More Secrets. So that teenagers across America would no longer feel obligated to keep their pain hidden- a secret. So that we can loose the stigmatizations that makes suicide a topic that isn't discussed in schools and homes. A topic that is kept a secret." I smile more confidently.
"So I ask all of you to make a donation in Alice O'Conners and Alex's Norths name- so that our children- our future, will never again have to feel as our classmates did. Thank you."
The applaud that follows fills me with emotion, and tears threaten to spill from my eyes. Everyone raises there glasses in Alice and Alex's name, and I almost feel whole again. I have taken a situation so horrible, and I have somehow made it more bearable.
I meet Alexei at our table and he immediately pulls me into an embrace.
"I'm so proud of you." He whispers against my ear. "And I'm sure Alice and Alex would be too."
I pull away from the embrace blinking away tears as my old classmates come to congratulate me.
We spend the evening talking about silly things, how we can't believe we're all thirty-three, and how the school hasn't changed much. I talk here and there- but something fills my head keeping me distracted.
"You okay?" Alexei asks quietly, as our table discusses the day Ezra Lukich arrived at school-high, and flashed the entire student body- and how on the same day Charlotte Manning the Cheerleading captain, showed up drunk and during a pep rally vomited from the top of the their pyramid. Oh the memories.
"Mhmm." I say, swirling around the salad on my plate. He gives me a hard look but doesn't press on the matter more.
Eventually we all start to leave- after the principal give's a drunken speech and I successfully raise 5,000 dollars for my organization.
I wrap my shawl around my black dress, and grab my chanel bag. I say goodbye to a few people, and than we head out- my head pounding. The night air cools me down instantly and I almost don't want to board my Range Rover.
"So are you gonna tell me what's really going on?" Alexei asks. I close the door behind me and roll my eyes.
"I'm fine."
"Yeah. I don't believe you."
"Naturally."
He gives me long look, and I already know he's insanely worried. "You barely ate, other than your speech you really didn't talk. I know this night must have been insanely tough on you. Being back with our old classmates- constantly being reminded of Alex, Alice, and Mason. I was scared you were gonna have a-"
"No panic attacks- I swear- Babe. I'm fine." I say taking his hand. "I promise I am- it's something else."
I love Alexei with everything in me. He's my rock, my person. He takes care of me, when I can't even take care of myself. Even though it's been fifteen years- some days I can't even get out of bed, or I have to be hospitalized for panic attacks where I can't even breath. There are days where all I can think about are Alice, and Alex- and I blame myself for not saving them. When Alexei asked me to marry him, I said no at first. How could I burden him with this mess of a person. But I eventually I said yes- because how could I live without him? Without his voice calming me down amidst my panic attacks- without his touch guiding me out of bed- when darkness overcomes me. How can I live no breath without him?
"It's just something else." I repeat. He raises an eyebrow, and nerves and excitement begin bubbling inside of me.
"What 'something else.'"
I laugh- feeling giddy suddenly. "I didn't want to tell you like this..."
"Tell me what?"
I bite my lip, "Alexei- I'm pregnant."
Thank god we're at a red light- because Alexei takes his hands of the steering wheel, and pulls me into a kiss.
"Really, I'm gonna be a dad?" Alexei exclaims. His cheeks are rosy- and I can feel excitement bouncing off of him.
"Yes- yes." I say again and again- because I'm so- so unbelievably happy.
"When did you find out?"
"A few weeks ago, I didn't want to say anything just incase."
He kisses me again, and my stomach fills with butterflies.
"I love you Elizabeth."
"I love you too Alexei."
9 months later
...
On February 18th
Anastasia Nadine Ivanov
was born.
Her mother gave her the name Anastasia. It means "reborn."
Anastasia was born on Alice O'Conner's birthday- with striking red hair that belonged to neither her mother or father.
Her father gave her the name Nadine. It mean's hope. Hope just like the snowflakes that gave his wife a purpose to live.
...
Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255