The next day you woke up with a clear head, and with that came the overwhelming guilt together with the realization of where you were. With your mind back in order after your sleep deprived mind had settled into common ground again, you almost fell out of the uncomfortable bed when you recall where you were and who it was that was curled up beside you. In a cell, with Jamie, someone who was here because of you; someone who ought to hate your guts by now.
Hastily removing the tight embrace from your body you crawl away from him, waking up the sleepdrunk Junker in your almost panicked prersuite to put as much space between you as possible.
You didn't even want to imagine being caught here, people would think you had gone mad to stay a single night with someone who kidnapped and abused you, someone who had done things that shouldn't be excused.
"Oi, Kitty, leaving already? Isn't it far too early t' be in such a hurry? Come back t' bed already, s' cold without ya." He huffs with a slight annoyance in his voice, stretching his lean limbs lazilly. You throw him a quick, vexed glare over the shoulder as you fix the tangled mess that was your bed hair and hastily straighten the wrinkles out of your uniform to at least rally some of the illusion that you were tidy.
"Yes, I have no choice, if I'm found here, with you; I might as well flip off Jack, spit on his desk, pack my bags and quit my job without pardon." You snarl agitatedly, making sure you had left nothing to indicate your illicit late night visit that was born out of desperation for forgiveness and a overwhelming guilt for betraying a friend.
"Really? Aww, that sucks though, jus' stay here n' tell them ya were interrogating me or some shit. Jus', don't leave me here all alone. I'll pass away from sheer boredom if ya leave me here t' sulk all day!" the aussie complains childishly, obviously not too keen to stay in a cell alone all day. You take a deep sigh, staring aside to avoid his amber eyes looking at you pleadingly. You knew you couldn't afford pity right now. Not with him.
"You know damn well I can't, not after all that has happened. My existence is on the line here, my reputation, the thing I built up after you scum decided to leave me without a single word of goodbye. So deal with the consequences of your garbage and stop whining... Your going to jail for a long, long time regardless. This is all your damn fault..." You announce bitterly as you march to the iron door, abruptly stopped by a sudden pair of arms snaking around your waist to prevent you from leaving just yet.
With a prolonged sigh your head sinks a bit, turning to face the willowy man with a gloomy expression occupying your face as he pushes you closer to himself. "C'mon, Kitty, me dear little pet; are ya really gonna jus' leave me t' me fate after last night? I thought ya finally found some warmth for me, a slither of trust. After all, ya gave me something very valuable; something I can never give back." He murmurs with a cocky hum, as of to guilt trip you into staying, and apparently there was some shocking awareness for how on edge you were about the topic.
"Yes Jamison, I will just walk through that door, no matter the level of your distaste towards that fact. This is your fault after all, you just had the irresistible compulsion to fuck it all up, so suffer the repercussions you have chosen. And about the thing I gave you, I don't regret it, I don't regret letting you fuck me, but it makes me sick that it had to be under those circumstances; that you just had to be so injurious towards me, and especially yourself. This could have all been prevented." You growl callously before trying to shake off the heavy, fake hand that was resting on your side, which proved difficult.
Unnerved and a little scared of someone coming by to spot you around here, you glare up a Rat with sharp expression as he is still stubborn to not let go of you. "Oi, don't give me that look Kitty, ya are acting paranoid. It's not ya gonna get bloody expelled for just being here, I just want ya around for a lil' while, ya know; t'talk things out." He whines bitterly, abruptly picking you up by the waist, just a few inches above ground level to abate your struggling; just to discordantly shove you against the metalic door with a dull thud as your back hit the solid, cold wall.
You let out a short wimmer of discomfort as you collide against the harsh surface, hands clawing into his shoulders in an attempt to shove him aside, in vain. "Let go of me you impudent brat... We both know your not big on communication. Let alone communication that's supposed to fix matters." You snarl through your teeth resentfully, sending a cheeky smirk over his lips. "Ah don't mind me doll, jus' trying t' talk some sense into the supercilious bitch I adore. Jus', at least hear a bloke out.." Jamie buzzes with a satisfied voice, frantically giggling under every passing word, furthering your mild annoyance into full blown vexed malady.
"Shut up you pretentious hypocrite. You're really going to tell me that I am the one that's conceited here? Really!? Because the way I see it, you're the one that needed to fucking lock someone up just to have the confirmation that they were yours, may I add, under the strict belief that was what's best for them. If that's not stuck up and straight up sick, I don't know what is." You huff exasperatedly as you sense the grip around your wrists tighten at your bratty remark, you knew he didn't like forward criticism, giving you all the more reason to give him just that.
Jamie stares down at you with growing bemusement as you keep speaking, hands shaking subtly as he pins you against the wall more forcefully, to the point your wrists ached from the heavy constriction they were in. But you were not even thinking about struggling, aware that Rat wouldn't be dumb enough to incriminate himself further. "Oh please, ya can't tell me that that was vain a' me t' lock ya up, I just wanted t' keep ya outta harms way in a place ya can't understand. I can't lose ya again, not like that. As soon as I'm out of this hell hole, I'll be bloody sure t' get ya back again if ya like it or not. N' then, I'll make damn sure I'll hide ya where no one's ever gonna find ya ever again." He growls with a sour slur, and even though it sounds insane, you knew he wasn't joking. He always sounded like he was joking, but damn, he never did.
You let out a malevolent chuckle at those words though, confident he wouldn't be idiotic enough to hurt you in this environment, shaking your head slowly with a haughty countenance. "You just never learn, do you Jamison? Heh, I guess I was wrong after all, you're nothing more than a lost case of criminal scum, conditioned by a world that seems to hate you. A fool who thinks the world functions by his whim. You know what though? I pity you, that you believe that after all this, you will ever set a foot out of jail ever again, or that you will ever see me again. Your delusion if your truly believe that." those words feel so spiteful in your mouth, you're unsure if it was even fair to say them, it feels malicious, sneering, needlessly wicked; like you were enjoying that idea.
But as soon as you end your sentence, you learn to regret your bratty tone of voice, as a sudden harsh hand grabs you by the hair; yanking your head upwards so artlessly it forces a stifled cry from your lungs. You undermine a short scream of surprised, eyes wide open in shock, staring up at the sharp face looming over yours menacingly now, casting a dark shadow over your eyes.
"Ya pity me? You?! Hah, laughable, ya must be one of the coldest people I have ever met. The only reason I ever put up with ya icy attitude was because ya reminded me of someone who actually gave a bloody fuck about me! Someone who cared. Ya don't seriously believe ya could ever be what Mouse was t' me, that I could ever put some uppish brat from the army over me best mate n' lover? Ya wouldn't know what sincere affection was if it hit ya square across the bloody face!" Jamie snaps at you with the most piqued voice you ever got to hear from him, a almost sickly high tune, making you flinch back as far as the stern grip on your hair allowed it.
But at the same time, as you made sense of his words, you physically feel your heart sink. You knew it, you could have guessed it all alone, you were a replacement; a mere placeholder for someone he actually had a slither of empathy for. Maybe that was the reason why you had been so defensive, because you knew he could never forget her. That would explain why he treated you this poorly, this callously, you just weren't his Mouse, you were just the painkiller to ease that void in his chest with something; anything.
With that thought your eyes are pricked with tears, silently whimmering a short: "Fuck you to then! Not like I give a damn, not like I cared, go ahead then; break my stupid heart, not like it was ever worth a damn cent to you in the first place!" with quivering voice, feeling stupid for getting so emotional over a lost cause, chewing down on your lip in an attempt to drown your sobbing.
Jamie's expression only darkens into a nasty scowl with your sudden anxious response, but the grin curling up his face makes you believe otherwise, he wasn't mad at you. Nore were his hurtful words truthful, oh no, it was a act, he was enjoying your vulnerability; he had built on your weakness like some sly spider waiting out the perfect moment to strike. Wrenching your skull up by the hair in order to face him better, you groan a little louder, still trying to fight those damn teardrops at the realization what you had just confirmed to his sick mind; that you cared about him, even now, after all he'd said and done to you.
And it was so so easy to exploit someone who cared. "Is that so? Curious Kitty, your tears suggest a different story, ya care more than ya would ever admit. Hehe, how sweet, acting all defensive when inside ya know how much ya need me. Ya are a terribly jealous little girl, afraid that a ghost might make ya lose something ya adore with all ya small heartstrings, that the dead might take ya place." Rat wisecracks knowingly, leaning down to you with a sinister chuckle as he lets go of your hair and wrists to instead grab your hips rather ungently, snatching them closer to his.
You quiver a little harder as your bruised wrists sink to your side powerlessly, eyes in hazy slant, still paralyzed with the sudden realization of just how much power his words had over you. It was almost ridiculous how he managed to play you so seemingly effortlessly. "But imma let ya in on a little secret here Kitty, so listen very closely because I ain't gonna repeat myself. I treasure ya more than ya could ever comprehend, ya are one of me most precious belongings, and it's a shame ya don't see that." He whispers close to your ear, the hot breaths making you shudder.
Internally, you told yourself he was lying, that it was just another fabrication of trust to groan into your ears to make you believe in the impossible, that someone like him could ever love. Shutting your sore eyes patiently, internally giving up your pride a little, he had actually managed to make you cry out of pure, unfiltered covetousness for a dead girl. At least Rat was right in one point. Fuck, he had gotten exactly the response he wanted out of you effortlessly, setting you up just to see the sorrow drown the hope in your eyes; just to smack you across the face with a counterfeit of hope.
This filthy, sly bastard, oh how you hated to love those fiery eyes, how much it hurt to give him your naive affection. Of course he was using you, you were just another plaything to break with empty promises and false vows, just to satisfy that sick delight of ruining something so perfect as your life. It seemed like nothing gave this man more pleasure than destruction. This was just another game, one you were not ready to play, but that you couldn't escape either.
"P-Please, don't say that, don't lie to me like that. you don't give a damn, just admit it, you just want my sorrow for your own sick amusement and pleasure. At least tell me what I'm in for." You growl with a still downbeat voice, timidly glancing up at him with tear stained cheeks. With those words Rats smirk only widens, showing of those razor edged canines before planting a hearty kiss onto your trembling lips. You almost flinch back out of sheer stubbornness, but that glint of endearment makes you melt into the mellow touch longingly, muttering into the kiss melodically.
Oh you despied yourself for it, but it was so painfully true, you were desperate for his every glint of make believe endearment. Like some sort of neglected dog that pleaded after every word of approval, like a kid desperate for their parents to acknowledge their achievements. It felt pathetic, but it was something you wouldn't dare fight, his touch felt too good to give up just to grant some pride.
Arms snaking around his neck you pull him into the kiss a little deeper, animating him to turn it rougher as you groaned every time his tongue slithered around yours, like a serpent encircling it's willing prey. Internally, you were simply dying a little, realizing how weak you were to let Jamie play you like this; again. But that was not of any importance right now, the sudden shrill ring of your phone pulling you into reality again, probably saving you from other mistakes.
Quickly pushing yourself away from Rat in order to retrieve the phone from your pocket, answering the call reluctantly, breath still panting heavily. "Y/N here, who is it?" You fleetly greet your caller. "Oh, Good morning dear, it's Angela. I was wondering if you could drop by my office, I need to discuss something of importance with you, regarding your latest mission. Or more specifically, regarding it's failure." The doctor answers with a concerningly drab voice.
Jamie meanwhile listens curiously, seemingly not too pleased to hear the Swiss lady's voice on the phone, hands slightly shaking at the sound of her, face grimacing into a snarl; like some creature awaiting to be harmed at the sound of it's abusers voice. "A-Alright, I'll be there in a minute..." You murmur, slightly confused, and mildly unnerved by the mention of your apparent failure. Oh, it had been a failure alright. Embarrassment fit it better. You had fought battle after battle, all with expedient success. But capturing two Junkers had apparently been too much. Yes, an embarrassment to your name and what it stood for.
With that, you hung up the phone with a vexed huff escaping from your lungs, absentmindedly swabbing away a few of the salty tears that still hung in the corners of your eyes, swiftly glancing up at Jamie again who was still muttering curses under his breath. "You heard it, I need to go..." You announced, conjuring up another annoyed growl from your tall grown friend. "Fiiiine, but make it quick. I ain't done with ya yet." Rat relied, placing a hurried kiss on your neck, or more specifically, the rugged outlines of a deeper bite he had left there when...Yeah, that moment when you gave up your damn dignity for a worthless piece of trust, rewarded with nothing but pain and the bitter aftertaste of contrition fused with that sweet,meek hint of lasciviousness.
With those words you hastily leave the gloomy cell, face still a little red from the tears, breath still slightly hitched by the avidity of his kiss, but ordered enough to return to normal life for a while.
-
Hurried steps carry you past all the curious eyes that were staring down your battered body with worried faces, it felt like your fellow agents could see every bruise and laceration marking your frame as a reminder of your debacle of a mission. you only fleetly greeted familiar faces, still weary of the members of Overwatch that you happened to run into on your way to Angeles office. You needed a few answers, there was a decision you had to make, and you were uncertain to what was right.
Because even if you were dead set to go through with the original procedure of the already planned arrest for Jamie, of getting him into the gaol where he couldn't harm anyone or himself, but there was insignificant speck of doubt in you after this morning. Was it foolish to have any endearment left for such scum? Definitely, oh, it bordered on braindead.
But you had just been reminded just how much he meant to you: the damn world. It only started to become clear to you yesterday night, when he literally was the only thing that had granted you any form of the much craved sleep. Followed by today's confirmation that, yes, you deeply cared even if you didn't want to, even if it tore you to shreds emotionally. You were long pat the whole 'I'll try to fix him' phase, now it was more personal, now you wanted more.
It was bizzare to think of, but you were beginning to believe that if he was gone, so far out of you circle of influence, that it might be negative on your general function as a human being. This idea alone made you sick, that someone who had done such horrid things to you still was the most noticeable source of tranquility for you. Again, was this selfish? No doubt about it, for your surrounding, this might prove disastrous, this idea grew solemnly on your fear to lose all that you had built; you didn't want to disappoint the people you wanted to see proud.
Overwatch, your family, and essentially world peace partially dependent on your productivity and efficiency during missions; on your ability to be selfless. And losing such valuable self control was something you dreaded with every fiber of your being. And yet, you couldn't do it anymore, it was all too much on your young mind. Hence, you had decided to consult someone you trusted with their medical expertise and experience regarding this particular issue, Angela Ziegler. If anyone knew about that Junker nousince, it was her.
Timidly knocking at the steril white door of her office, you are quickly greeted with the usual warm smile of the Swiss doctor. "If it isn't Y/N, come in dear." She cooes with the usual sweetness as you take a seat on the usual red, velvet couch that reminded you of every cliche psychology office in cinematic history. "What can I help you with today? You seemed so frail yesterday, but you look a lot better, it's a miracle what some sleep can do." She adds, making you purse your lips guiltily. Sleep... A sleep that only was possible by a dangerous lack of dignity.
"Heh, yeah, sleep..." You murmur, nervously fidgeting with your fingers. "Anyway, I've come here for several reasons actually. I need you to give me those old files on Mouse again, just, give me all of them. The therapy sessions, the notes, her death certificate; everything." You demand timidly, noticing the bewilderment growing on the doctors face as she complies to your outlandish request of gathering the paperwork from her jam packed file shelf.
"That's a odd thing to ask for Y/N, may I ask, why do you need all that stuff? Your not planning anything regrettable...Right?" She murmurs, handing you the bunch of files with blatant distrust in her clear blue eyes. You take the stack of paper from her with a quick hand gesture, just in case she changed her mind. "No, of course not...I just need to be certain of something. I have so many unanswered questions that I have been ignoring, I just need to know the truth." You mutter as your fingers trace over the letters of your own name on a file that wasn't yours thoughtfully.
"I see, after the latest unpleasant set of events I suppose it's you good right to have them. Maybe you can learn from her mistakes..." The blond lady whispers with a sudden downbeat voice as she took a seat next to you. You knew she had adored Mouse, you had read it in the files and her personal notes, maybe even a little too much regarding the circumstances. "Also, another thing doc. I was just wondering, why did you call me here earlier?" You inquire with a pretend disinterested voice as you ordered tha papers in your hand.
The doctor looks at you with a sudden dingy glint in her expression, something you didn't know from her usually bright self. "Oh, about that, almost forgot. This might come as a shock to you, so I wanted to personally inform you before anybody else would. Y/N, you might not want to hear this, but the Junkers are not going to be imprisoned." She murmurs, making your expression light up a bit, awaiting her further words with delighted eagerly, and with hope you knew you shouldn't have.
She seems to take note of your probably out of place excitement, taking a deep sigh before resuming her words. "Don't get too thrilled Y/N, your not going to like this information, but I think it would be better to tell you. After all, you are the closest person in this HQ that is related to their case in particular. After long consultations and discussions with the higher ranks of the HQ's, we have all reached the final decision that it would be in everyone's best interest to execute them for their appalling crimes against humanity. For the horribly violent crimes, the thievery, grand scale destruction of national treasures; and finally, kidnapping a important member of the Overwatch strike team... As well as other things That I don't need to mention to you. There is just no excuses anymore, we can't accept responsibility for not putting a end to this madness." She announces with sudden weakness, as if to carefully ease you into the information with slow words.
But no amount of carefully wording could have prepared you for the shock you felt in that moment. And it wasn't even the crimes listed that made your mind buzz into a void of completely numb, pained statik, but it was the word 'executed' that struck you in the guts like a awfully violent punch being thrust into your abdomen. Executed...That word alone left a sour taste in your mouth, and imagining it almost caused a slight gagging reflex; eyes growing blurry all of a sudden. Executed, no, that couldn't be right.
You stare up at the Swiss woman with wide, beseeching eyes, fingers still clutching the files in your hands like they were all that you could hold onto. "Angela, you can't be serious, we can't just... Kill them. No, that's wrong, I can't allow that-" You attempt to reason, but she places her soft hand other your quivering lips to silence your senseless pleas, you knew you had no words in this. Your rank was way below making such paramount issues. You might have been a trusty agent in most cases, but still far too green to make any demands that heavyweighted.
"Oh dear, please, don't get emotional. Your not in the mental state to argue about this, Jamison had a ill, vile influence on you, and I don't think it's your fault. It was foolish of me to send you, from all people, into that mission. I should have known you were still too attached. It's better that way, they deserve to be gone, they have caused enough pain. This senseless killing needs to find an end. Besides, he did something unforgivable to you... And your still too susceptible to see that." She mutters coldly, sending a acute shiver down your spine.
You had never heard her so stern and heartless when talking about someone's fate, but you knew she despised him, and you knew why, it was way too obvious not to see. It was all because of Mouse. All because he hurt someone she loved. Growing increasingly uncomfortable with her sudden icy demeanor, you quickly decide to gather your files and avoid further protest for the time being, retreating out of the room in a near panicky, fleeting nature. You wasted no time to say goodbye to the doc, and you didn't greet anyone on your run to your room, trying your damn hardest not to break out into tears on the short journey.
Only when you slam the door behind you for good, the salty drops of purified sorrow prick your eyes. Still caught in the aftermath of the beginning shock and overwhelmed with a sudden helplessness you found yourself being cast into, you cower down against the door, arms buried in your palms as you desperately try to calm yourself. You rarely got so emotional, and never had you failed to keep the strength in your legs when being mornfull, but now you couldn't stand up even if you tried.
After all that had happened, you didn't believe this was a reality. It was like the words of the doctor had torn a hole into your heart, into your mind, you couldn't think of single coherent sentence other than: 'No, this can't be true.' Repeating your desperate prayers like a rhythmic poem. What now? Fuck, what now? Sure, you wanted to see Jamie put to justice. But death? That seemed wrong, so very, very out of order. This was far from what you wanted, far from what you had planned. That wasn't justice, it was bloody madness.
You knew you couldn't let that happen, it would be a imprecation on your mind to be indirectly responsible for his death, your morals wouldn't stand for that. But how? How was that ever going to work? You couldn't just walk out of here with him, you couldn't just open the damn cell door and let some internationally wanted criminal meander out of the HQ like a tourist that had gotten lost in a new city. No, you needed a plan, and you needed one fast.
However, the issue presented itself, that even if you managed to get him out; you would lose him again. Maybe for a year, maybe two, maybe forever. That seemed almost more cruel, knowing he was alive but so far away, so, so far away. Especially because you knew now that you couldn't lose him. So what was to do?
Still crouched down on the floor, the files in your shaky hands soaked with teardrops and long forgotten thoughts of a girl that could have probably helped you in this situation. Mouse, someone who had nothing to lose except for Rat, it was almost depressing to think about her, more so than usual. Thinking about her with him, it made you shudder to imagine how unconditionally devoted they must have been, how easy it must have been for people that were so similar to cooperate.
For people who came from the same place, the same background. She would probably just follow him without a second thought, there wouldn't be any immediate consequences after all. But for you, oh, the consequences could prove diar, even cataclysmic. You would lose everything, your dream, your family, friends; your place in the world. But what was that place worth if you'd be miserable protecting it?
Nothing, it would be equally as torturous as just betraying your honour. And the longer you gave it thought, the more your decision crystallized into a senseless realization. You didn't want to be a hero anymore, a perfect human being that had never failed to be the best at everything she did, the shining example of justice and righteousness; a role model.
You had been the victim to your own expectations all your life, this was a chance to change that for better or worse. Something inside of you wanted to leave that equitable human being behind, wanted to break it all, shatter and burn that life you had wasted your early youth on. Yes, of course, you wanted to do something really, really stupid for once. Only for once in your life you wanted to do something you knew that was wrong. And what better way to finalize the decision by visiting your biggest mistake yet?
Yes, this felt right, so disastrously right; kindling a shere burning excitement in your soul. With a sudden zealous you didn't know you even had you jump to your feet with swift motion, tears as good as forgotten as you grabbed a large, olive green bag to throw the most essential items into. Some medical equipment, your stalwart toolkit, clothe, your plethora of trusty blueprints, a simple handheld pistol, and most importantly; Mouse's well kept files, or how you liked to call it, the 101 on how to deal with Jamie. Also, you still needed to find out a little something, like, how did she die?
Well, she was shot, of course, but something told you that wasn't the entire truth. Especially since her official death certificate had no official cause of death written down, something you had already previously noticed when reading the document. If she would have simply been shot, that would have been printed black and white on that paper. And that in turn gave you a crazy, sinister theory. What if, theoretically, her death was not entirely accidental? Maybe, just maybe, there was more to it than a random, tragic freak-accident.
Why would he though? There was no clear motive in your mind yet, but your gut feeling told you a different story. Besides, flipping through her files earlier, a specific statement Mouse had made to Angela had caught your attention, something along the lines of: "Of course I wasn't his first lover, but about the previous ones, he never mentions them, ever, not even when I specifically asked... Except when, well; I think he hinted at something more deadly. I suppose Jamie is, let's say, irrationally violent at times... But I don't think he'd be capable of something like that. " That quote from her had stuck with you for a while now, and it was true, Rat never mentioned his previous relationships, not even with a shallow hint.
Besides Mouse, of course. And that made you think, that there was maybe a little something more baleful than he would like to let on to you, or anyone.
-
With that in hand you quickly leave your room, running down to the docks to glance through the landing plans for today. And as it turns out, you were in luck, there was in fact a container ship headed to Hanamura in a mere hour. Perfect, no one would expect a thing if you left asap, they would barely notice until you were long gone. And by then, they would have no way of knowing where you had went.
With that thought in mind you continue your hasty sprint to the cell complex on the lower floors, basically jumping several stairs at a time just to save a few precious seconds, your breath hammering heavily in a ardent fusion of anticipation and exhaustion from the sprinting around the HQ like a madman. You barely caught your breath before your shaky hands unlock the cell complex you knew belonged to Rat, stumbling inside the dark room briskly in order to shut the door behind yourself.
"Hey, get moving dirt boy, we're going on a little trip eastwards. I'll explain myself late, I'll need you to trust me this once." Your panting, wheezing voice announced, making the Junker flinch up from his bed almost instantly, staring at you with his wide amber eyes and a mimic as if you had just lost your mind or something.
"Um, Kitty, are ya alright? Ya are talking gibberish..." He huffed with amused voice as you ungainly tripped over your own two feet in your hurried steps, barely catching your balance.
"N-Never been better in my entire life. I have a morning full of life changing cognitions behind me. So come on, move it. We need to get your sidekick and leave before the damn ship sets sails or someone catches wind of my dumbest decision to date." You order with elated voice, impatiently jittering around on your spot, earning yourself more confused looks from your tall grown friend.
"Wait a tick... Are ya helping me? Me?! After all the shit I said t' ya earlier? After all I did? Colour me impressed, cuz m' shook ya were so human." He gasped out in a wild disbelief, before his expression suddenly lit into a toothy grin upon seeing your stubborn demeanor unmoved. You were visibly serious in your words. But that didn't have to mean that he took you seriously.
Or with other words, he was back to laughing near hysterically a scarce few seconds after your hurried words. "But ya really wanna inveigle me with a few pretty words and a pair of sweet eyes t' whatever sick thing ya have planned? No thanks, sweet-cheeks, I ain't gonna fall for that, I learned from me mistakes; n' trustin' ya is one a' the many. Ya were probably jus' sent by those idiots t' get me t' jail without any protest or somethin' stupid like that. Tell em I ain't fallin' for that shit, not again." Rat snarled down at you after his short laughing fit.
A dark scowl rendered on your face upon hearing that. Not that you could blame him for mistrusting you, or even for being so blatantly confronting about that fact, you couldn't blame him for being skeptical of your words. What did however irk you was the simple fact that he apparently felt the need to rub it in all jeeringly and smugly. Especially because you were trying to help.
"Ok, I get it, I fucked up. I did something stupid, and I truly regret it. Just, try to forgive me. I know I've been an inconvenience for you ever since I showed up, all the similarities to Mouse, all the lying, the disparaging. But if you don't want to die a miserable death via execution, I strongly advise you to trust me. Please, give me one more chance to make it all up to you, that's all I want... I know I'd regret letting you die all my life." You announced as brassenly as your shaky breath allowed for.
For a second, you were dead certain he was about to just laugh you off once and for all, you could basically see the mild twitch of his lips as they curled into a fiendish smirk. But to you genuine relief, he didn't. "They really wanna kill me, eh? Heh, pathetic, who'da thought I was such a pain in their paperwork that I was worth gettin' rid off altogether? N' here I was thinkin' that blond lil' demon with angel wings had promised t' help me, then again, maybe that was jus' t' keep Mouse around. Guess that's what I get for trustin' bureaucrats." The Aussie hissed under his own sharp giggling.
After that, you didn't require any further persuasion to get him to follow along, as Rat basically pulled you out the cell by the arm and down the corridor of holding cells. You gladly followed along though to bail out Mako as well (With your beautiful all access keycard.) who, to your mild surprise; didn't even seem confused by your sudden change of heart, only muttering a short: "Here we go again..." Almost as if disappointed by your heedless actions.
But there was no time to discuss that yet, you needed to get on that damn cargo ship, and that as soon as possible. Sneaking around the HQ was an astonishingly easy achievement, seeing that most agents were busy with either training or too busy with other matters deemed more important. Once arrived at the harbour you found no trouble climbing aboard the mostly automatic ship and finding shelter in one of the large metal containers that had barely enough space to fit all of you between the abundance of boxes and contaminants that were tightly stacked together.
-
Exhausted, and equally thrilled you sank down against the metallic wall of the Cargo container, a deep sigh escaping your frail lips as you set aside your heavy backpack, accompanied with a pleased mutter from your behalf. So you were actually going to go through with this preposterous plan. Running away from a stable life, your family, friends, aspirations; together with nationally wanted criminals. Sounded about right... And just as stupid as before.
"What a morning." You groaned between your panting, a weak smile appearing on your face as you shut your eyes for a moment in the attempt to collect your thoughts. There is a short moment of absolute silence, the only sound being your rapid breaths, which were only interrupted by Rats sharp laughter as the bulks door of the cargo container shut with a heavy metallic thud; trapping the three of you in complete and utter darkness.
"Hehe, this is jus' too bloody golden Kitty. Still can't believe ya actually bothered t' get ya sweet face in trouble for us." The blond man cooed with amused voice as he took a seat on the ground next to you with such a bold self evidence that you wanted to reevaluate your impetuous decision already. Instead, a toothy smirk spread over your face as you angled your head to face him, probably a bit too cocky for your own good. After all, he threatened to strangle the lights out of your eyes yesterday, and you knew he wouldn't even regret it. But the adrenaline and the confidence you had racked up with your decisions didn't allow for heedful thought.
Besides, he still had use for you, in one way or another. So you presumed yourself safe for the time being. "Oh shut it you brat, don't thank me too early, this might just be more trouble than it's all worth for all of us. Now we have the whole of Overwatch after us. After all of us... Who knows, maybe I'll just snitch you out to the authorities again when the whole situation gets too sticky for my liking." You explained jokingly, in an attempt to ease the tension, still in a slight inner turmoil regarding your foolhardy judgment.
"So what? Don't think jus'because ya helped us out once ya will be granted any authority, dollface, ya will need t' earn tha' trust after kickin' it t' the curb like that. Even if ya are with us now, ya merely get t' be the punching bag for now. Ain't that right Roadie?" Jamie announces brashly, apparently overly excited to be out of that tiny jail cell again if his jittering was any indication, glancing over at his stout partner in crime, who only musters a disinterested grunt as a proper reply.
The white haired man seemed too observed with staring you down from the other side of the container, as if in disbelief you would throw your life away like that just to help out some lowlife, or even if judging you in his bitter silence. "Heh, anyway, that all aside. Mind lettin' me in on why the bloody hell those dimwits want t' off us all of a sudden anyways? I mean, I get the whole 'criminal' aspekt n' all that, but they never actually wanted us dead, jus' in custody. I always thought those prim n' proper folk were so darn keen on peace n' justice." Rat suddenly, yet oddly gingerly inquired, as if mildly afraid of what the answer may end up being.
"Well, you see... I have no clue. All I know for certain is that Dr. Ziegler was involved with the decision, but It's pretty much infallible that the petty reason she gave me was a mere distraction; or in any case, not a reason to wants you dead. I'm sure we'll find out soon enough though. They are gonna want to find us after all, and we can't hide from them forever." You muttered in a sour tone of voice, a gloomy expression on your face by now.
All that got you however was a shrill, unwanted, and foremost derisive laugh from Jamie, who shifted a lot closer to you upon hearing out your explanation, artlessly throwing his good arm around your shoulder just to ungracefully yank you to his lap in one swift hand gesture. Which managed to make you freeze up on the spot like some terrified rabbit. You didn't want to all rigid, especially because you didn't want to give off the impression that you were as apprehensive as you undoubtedly were.
"Oh dear, heh, what a pain. So we gotta look out for those agents as well as the cobbers? Jeez, can't I ever get a damn break? We should jus' call it quits n' go back t' 'stralia already. At least the snakes there kill ya quickly." Jamie complained more sarcastically than anything. You were about to respond with some snarky remark, when all of a sudden, you felt a cold, brassy hand slither to your side, and that far too harshly for your liking, too.
You knew he was setting you up for something you wouldn't appreciate, you could basically hear it in his cheeky voice. "But, Y/N, riddle me this, why the 'ell did ya bother t' help us? I get the whole 'guilt-tripped' excuse, but not in your case. I mean, jus' how stupid do ya take me for? Ya can't seriously believe me t' buy that story. The ridiculously proper, talented lil' agent girlie, who dedicated her life t' bein' the best at what she does, jus' one day wakes up n' haphazardly decides t' give up all that hard work jus' t' bust out some criminals; who, mind ya, were responsible for her misery." Jamie rambled rather sharply, almost hissing the words whilst letting his automaton-hand creep up under the hem of your uniforms top and up your flanks as if it were the most normal thing to do in the entirety of human existence.
It was hard to undermine shivering at the cold, rough touch of the inanimate object stroking over your mellow skin, the contraption felt like a threat whenever it was placed on your being, the buzzing and quiet droning of coils and cogwheels working ever so silently as the metallic hand ceased just before your ribcage; essentially pinning your frame to his doing so. "Now then, dollface, be so kind n' tell me the truth. I don't much like waiting, n' I get bored with it real quickly." The blond Junker singsonged into your ear with a pleased voice, as if to merely emphasize the point that you had made a huge mistake.
And it was only then that it really dawned on you that you had substantially thrown away all your comfort zones in leaving the Overwatch. No more safe-rooms, no more people to back you up when things turned ugly, and no one to bail you out when someone decided to keep you chained up in some sordid cellar just for the sake of having you 'safe'. The mere idea of him doing that again, especially now that you had no hope of anyone out there looking for you, it felt like a dismal fate. But you had to trust, because, well; now it was too late to turn tail and run. There was no way to explain the situation without incriminating yourself after all.
"Alright, if you have to know that badly, I decided that a change of life was long overdue for me. Of course I was also guilt-tripped as all hell, but your right, that's not enough to throw your life away for. I mean, I've been in the academy all my teenage years and very early twenties with the hopes of getting accepted into the agents of Overwatch and making this world a better place. But now, that all just feels senseless." You explained, pausing with a sigh before resuming your speech.
" If the people I deemed to be good through and through, the ones I held as shining example for righteousness, are going to take one of the few people I truly feel fondly about on a emotional level; I need reconsider my values. I can't work for people I don't trust, especially in this line of work. Or as my History professor used to say; 'If the country your pledged allegiance to does something morally unacceptable, your three choices are to change it, leave, or kill yourself if all else fails. It's a matter of principal, of honour and integrity. That's your responsibility as a principled citizen.' And I chose to leave." You explained as elaborately and earnestly as you could.
That little speech, oddly enough, seemed to have satisfied all need for clarification on your behalf, as all you got in response was a pleased hum, a candidly affable kiss against your neck, and a near silently whispered: "Well spoken, Kitty, well spoken indeed. I might jus' have t' believe ya."
-
After that, things quieted down for a while. To your delight. The only thing you weren't gonna get rid of anytime soon, was apparently the clingy embrace that kept you held against the willowy Junker, who seemed awfully pleased with himself whilst letting his lampblack-smudged hands carelessly wander around the bare skin under your uniform, thoughtlessly tracing up and down your slender sides. And if you didn't know any better, you would have concluded that Rat had substantially missed you.
But really, who were you kidding? The only this he had ever missed in the entirety of his abysmal life, was Mouse, and you weren't even sure if that wasn't all a mere play after all. Maybe Mouse really was nothing but a novelty to him after all. Either way, you knew the only reason for all that grabby behaviour was pure, unfiltered manipulation; to get back into your good graces and trust. Even more concerning than that behaviour though, was that you were willing to accept it. Because, really, you had no other choice. Which, to be fair, was self inflicted misery.
It had been a good couple of hours of unpretentiously killing time by simply daydreaming and brooding in the dusky container, which by that point reeked of old soot and burnt out flames. But that may have just been Jamie. Either way, you knew you wouldn't arrive before the fall of night, so you decided to follow Roadhogs enthusiastic example and try to find some sleep. The old man was basically snoring loud enough to make the walls of the metallic container echo like the roll of thunder in a valley.
However, as soon as you even let your heavy head lul back against a familiar shoulder with a warm little mutter of contentment buzzing in your throat, your blond friend felt the need to talk again. He really had lousy timing. "Oi, Kitty, ya still awake?" The tall grown man murmured from somewhere above your head, clearly curious about something nagging him.
Reluctantly, and already half asleep, you rendered a short: "Now I am." Really, you didn't want to talk to him right now, or anyone for that matter, but ignoring someone you were in a rather gauzy situation with seemed even less shrewd.
"I was jus' wonderin' if your still mad 'bout what I said earlier. Ya know, the whole thing with Mouse." The Aussie murmured so diffidently you caught yourself smirking at the tone of voice.
"Of course I am. I'm hardly going to forget you mocking me that basely..." You muttered, before adding a near whispered: "But that doesn't really matter now. I made my decision, regardless of what you did for a reason after all. How wise that was is something time will have to tell."
After that, you paused for a moment, recalling the files on Mouse you still had stashed away in your bag, and you couldn't help but instantly think of that 'confidential' written on her death certificate for the cause of decease. It almost felt like a warning, one that was begging to be scrutinized. And you were deadset to investigate what Mouse failed to: Just how sick Jamie really was.
But you would have been suicidal to tell Rat what you suspected of him, diligence was of utmost importance in your venture of sooth. Besides, you knew how touchy the subject of Mouse was for him, so no need to pour needless amounts of salt into that gaping wound.
"Anyway, that vile topic aside, I have a request to proclaim. Don't worry, it's a Mutual one. You'll also get your share." You announced after a moment of thoughtful silence. You had decided it might be advisable to establish a few very basic set of rules, just to make your life a tad bit easier.
"Sure thing dollface, lemme hear it." Jamie cooed, clearly a lot less tense now. Which was always a good sign in your book. You knew how impossible he could be if indignant after all. Bloody-minded and rigid, like some bratty kid.
"Alright, it's simple. I promise I will never fink on you ever again, and you in return promise me to be as honest as you possibly can. I just need some sort of affirmation that I can trust you, and I know you won't be as sincere as I would want you to be without something in return. Your just not the type to give something out of benevolence alone. So do we have a deal?" You inquire with a chipper voice.
To your astonishment, the blond man seemed awfully compliant, almost as if he had wanted you to ask exactly that. But that was impossible, right? "'Course, s' a acceptable pledge if I've ever heard one. Anythin' t' keep ya from hurtin' me like that again. I don't think me poor heart could take that sorta hurt again, s' already kinda rickety. N' I don't wanna needlessly shorten those few years I 'ave left." He wisecracked in the usually playful manner, skittishly planting a swift kiss against your still bite-scar ridden shoulder.
But you couldn't even choke up a fake laugh at that statement though, if anything, you were deeply confused. No, concerned. "What do you mean with that?" You hastily asked, your voice having taken a rather cold tone. "Huh? What now?" Was the equally bewildered reply that echoed moments after.
"What do you mean with 'those few years I have left'? If I recall correctly, you're barely 25 years old or so, you should have at least forty or fifty more years in this day and age." You clarified, which instantly made your tall grown friend grow noticeably rigid, tightening the firm grip around your scant waist to the point you felt your bones ache under the dull pressure.
"Forget it, s' not important." A now dull, low voice hushed against the top your your head, and you could clearly feel the uneasy shaking of his lanky limbs as they pulled you back against his frame tighter. On one side, you wanted to keep asking, wanted to pry out that bit of crucial truth. But on the other hand, it seemed awfully cruel to do so.
And besides, you could guess. The way he acted and spoke, it told you volumes. Also, you were aware enough to know what long term exposure to radiation might have caused, and what it might mean. So in a way, you could guess what Rat was hinting at, even if the thought hurt to the point of numbness. You had never thought about that possibility before, and now that you did, it really was a ugly bane on your mind.
From that moment onward, he kept concerningly silent, only very slowly loosening the grip he had around you to a bearable degree. But that gave you time to think it over.Though, as far as you were concerned, there was no way to cure radiation poisoning. And you knew that Dr. Ziegler sure as hell had no antidote, since, if so, she would have used it for Mouse; too.
Maybe some mad scientist could help you, you mused in your mind, but that was more of a joke to lighten your own mood than an actual consideration. In any case, you swore yourself you'd find some way to aid your spindly companion to the best of your abilities. After all, he was all you had left now, so letting him wither away was not even an option. There had to be someone with a remedy for a terminal malady, someone who was not shy to cure death itself. And you didn't care who that may be.
After what felt like several hours of restless pondering, your attention was pulled back to reality, by the cold touch of a mechanical hand steadily taking a hold of your scant waist, in order to turn you towards the blond Junker with the same coarse impatience you were used to by now. You didn't even consider to thrash or squirm though, complacently blinking up into the darkness patiently, as a much more pleasant touch of a human hand twitchily made its way up your side, until it reached the back of your head.
A snappy wrench of your hair and a roused growl later, you felt the ungentle pair of chapped lips being pushed upon yours with a unmistakable greed and fervour. You weren't per say surprised, but more so shocked. Was he really, after all that had transpired, still so eager? That, in and of itself, was dubious to you. You could have sworn he had had enough of you after you double-crossed him, and especially after you gave him what he had so badly wanted from you initially; your consent, just that one time.
Apparently though, he was far from done, judging by how the prosthetic hand, which had found its place on your rear, avidly groped and raked you against him, absentmindedly rolling your hips against his. It took you a second to reply the eager kiss though, not because you didn't want to, but because you felt a strange nausea rise in your guts.
After all, you suspected such horrid, violent things from him, it felt like giving endearment to your future executioner. It was just that distant notion of dread somewhere in that present touch. But, as habit had it, you soon let your mouth open just that slither that Jamie needed to push that absurdly long, slick tongue of his down your throat with a needy wimmer. He still tasted like charred sugar infused with gasoline. Such a unsavory tang, and yet you were addicted to it.
That alone was contagious enough to make you gasp though, that sweet confirmation of lust, that incline of affection; it made your head spin to the point of disorientation. And you wouldn't have wanted it any other way. You had missed that feeling, even if it had just been a mere two days, you melted into every touch obligingly.
Of course Rat had hurt you the last time, no, every time you let him that close; and you had hoped you'd have the common sense to learn from that shooting pain your body was in after. But you didn't. Ever. It felt so senselessly dimwitted, to want him more after all he'd done, and you couldn't even explain why; yet, you missed him so stupidly much it burned.
If that day had taught you anything, it was that you needed him more than you would have ever admitted. There was a certain codependence. But it didn't feel like what you knew to be love, it was a lot more rotten, valetudinarian, and just so much more grave. Like you were sick but just didn't want to admit it because it saved you from doing your job, like an escape from your duties as a good citizen.
"S' soon as we're outta here, I swear, I'll fuck ya till' ya forget ya name." Rat purred between the fleet kisses, giving you barely enough time to breathe or even catch a cohesive thought. And you were not sure if those words had been a reason to be terrified, or a reason to get excited. Either way, you were both. So you only managed to choke up a brief: "I'll just write it down somewhere." Which garnered you a short chuckle and another fleet kiss on your now quivering lips.
"Whatever ya do, jus' stay where I can see ya. Wouldn't want ya t' get taken away by those galling Overwatch pests." Jamie cooed against your neck, before resting his head against your shoulder with a satisfied humm, both hands still groping along your frame; as if to make sure you were still there.
"I'll be sure of it." You murmured, letting your tired head lul against his collar, closing your eyes to grant them a few moments of rest.. And you were hardly surprised to not notice falling asleep near instantly.