Hi, my name is Ashley.
I'm a fifteen year old, woe-is-me, foster child, living with my older sister, four other girls, and the most beautiful woman your mind could possibly perceive. I like hanging out with my bestest of best friends, Holly, the only person in school that doesn't look at me with pity, and acting in school plays, the only place I can really escape from myself.
If you haven't read about me in Min's story (that's the woman you can't believe could be so utterly perfect), then you don't know my backstory. About a year ago, I was approached by a boy. Not your normal, run of the mill teenage boy. This one has eyes that glittered like black diamonds, and his body moved with the grace of a thousand, million angels. Unfortunately for me -- and my puberty-induced hormones -- Phil was not really a boy either. He is an Essence. The Essence of Friendship, to be precise. Which is why I felt so safe and content when he came up beside me one afternoon as I walked home from school.
He said, "Greetings, Ashley." I mean, who says "Greetings" anymore? It's a little creepy, to tell you the truth. But when I turned, ready to use those self-defense moves that my sister insisted I learn, I felt no urge to beat the crap out of him. Instead, I smiled, happy as could be to have another friend.
Friend. (Insert a very, unladylike snort.)
If it weren't for Holly, I'd be alone. Even surrounded by the others at home, no one really understood me. I mean, how could they? I was fourteen. What did I know about so much in the world? About real love, hatred, anger, sympathy, empathy, and all that? I should have been self-centered, and only concerned about who was going to ask me to the Winter Formal. But that wasn't who I was. Who I am.
And I didn't understand all that, until Phil told me all about myself. You see, I am balanced. Sounds kinda weird, huh? What does 'balanced' mean, anyway? He explained it to me, and I knew exactly what he meant.
Balanced means that my soul has equal portions of every essence...every emotion, rather. And that is rare. So rare, in fact, that there are only a handful of humans born into every generation that can claim to be 'balanced.' I guess I should feel lucky to be included in that secret club, but I wasn't. I felt trapped.
Trapped, because the weight on human existence rested on my frail shoulders.
Let me back up. A long time ago, when humans were evolving and developing consciousnesses beyond the ability to survive as animals, souls were formed. Souls are really the one thing that makes us different from other animals. Not posable thumbs. And certainly not our intellect. Lots of animals are smarter than us. We just use our brains differently, all because of our consciousnesses.
The abridged version of Essences: they are the separate embodiments of each element of our souls. Phil is the Essence of Friendship. Min WAS the Essence of Need. And then I have met others: Love, Catalyst (she's a total B-och), Influence, Inspiration, and of course, Balance, to name only a few of the many, many out there.
Really, if you haven't read Min's story, The House of Bells, you should. It explains it in a whole lot more detail. Regardless, my story is pretty much the same as hers, but from my viewpoint.
You see, when Phil introduced himself to me last year, I unwittingly started down the road to becoming one of those Essences. The weird part is that humans don't usually become Essences. I say 'usually' because before me, there was one single case. Harlan. The current Essence of Balance, and the whole reason I'm in this mess.
More back story: After Min was banished from her title as Essence of Need, and became a human (forced, really), she met a man named Harlan. A cowboy, and quite handsome, if I must say so myself. Harlan was another one of those balanced souls. And when humanity's control on this earth begun to shift the true balance of the world (which would have decimated the entire species), the un-human Essences turned him. He became kinda like the leader, holding the world in check.
But he was human before not becoming one. And he loved Min. So when Min went on with her immortal life as a human, meeting other men and having relationships, Harlan's balance began to tip. Jealousy and rage overcame him, and he lost his grip on his power. Hence the need for another Balance to take the reins. Me.
Did I mention I am fifteen? That holds some significance, because fifteen year old girls just can't disappear from the world without anyone finding out, or caring. Namely, my sister, Amber.
But Amber could never know about my fate. No one could. Think about it. Humans thrive on their beliefs, whether it is Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, or whatever. If it were to become common knowledge that all those religions were just a bunch of bogus crap lies, and the real deities are Essences, what do you think that would do to the human race? Hmm?
So here I am...fifteen, unable to confide my darkest secret to anyone besides a half-human woman who has no choice but to help me, and just trying to keep it all together for three more years. A lot of responsibility for some one like me.
But I had to tell someone. This is your lucky day.
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January 5th, 2010
Dear diary,
I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!
That stuck-up jerk thinks he knows everything. I can't believe he told Emma that I kissed him! How dare he! I wouldn't touch his butt-ugly mouth with a cattle prod...okay, maybe with a cattle prod. Over and over and over. Zap, zap, zap!!!! Then I'd kick him where the sun don't shine.
Holly told me no one believes him, but EVERYONE is talking about it. Emma and her cow of a friend, Olivia, were laughing at me all through drama today. I couldn't get through my lines. God! I hate him. And I hate Emma, and Olivia. AND Mr. Mills. He did nothing! He just stood there, scowling at me, like it was MY fault he couldn't control his class.
If they do that tomorrow, I swear! I don't care if I get a month's worth of detention, I'll slap that lip gloss right off their stupid lips!
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"Ashley!"
I growled, closed my diary and stuffed under my pillow...a second before Amber burst into the room we shared. "Ashley!" she yelled again. Geesh, I heard her the first time. "What is this?"
My sister waved a sheet of paper in front of my nose. Typed print fluttered in my vision, and I caught a glimpse of a great big, B, next to Algebra II. "My...report card?"
"Yes, your report card. You got a B! In Algebra!"
(Brown eyes rolling.)
"I knoooow," I huffed. "I've been in that class since September. Duh."
Amber's own brown eyes flared. "I told you about this. You had to get straight A's if you wanted to go on that trip."
"I remember."
"Well, then that's it. You're not going."
"WHAT!" I bolted up from my bed, ponytail swinging. Amber faced me down, and the door behind her opened.
Saved! Min entered the room. "What's going on?"
It's not fair. It's just not fair for anyone to look like that. Min was dressed for a date with Mr. Blake, the sort-of boyfriend (really, you have to read the other book. That relationship is rather juicy.) Her green eyes glittered in the light, in that tell-tale way of Essences -- not that she was one anymore. And her dark, brown hair fell in soft ringlets past her shoulders. Wrap up Megan Fox, Keira Knightley, and a younger Angela Jolie, and you're only partly there.
"Ashley got a B," Amber inserted, not taking her eyes off me.
"And?"
"And now she can't go on that Washington trip," my sister added.
Min's eyes turned toward me. Too much maturity in those eyes. Too much knowing. It was scary as hell sometimes. I beamed at her, plastering on my cheery facade. "What subject?"
"Algebra."
Her delicate eyebrow lifted, and a small smile flirted in the corner of her mouth. Not hard to understand how Mr. Blake, the man that no woman had been able to catch since his wife left him, fell -- dived -- into love with her. "As I recall," she said, "you scraped by with a C in your math class, Amber."
"This isn't about me," Amber said, but her face tinged with pink. "Ashley can't fall behind, just because she is a junior intern."
Long story about that. I'll tell you later.
"A 'B' is hardly falling behind. In fact, it's progress, considering the state of her grades last year."
"Yeah!" I chimed in. They both ignored me.
Mae came into the room, chewing on a granola bar. "What's up?"
Quick run-down on the girls living in this foster home. Me, Amber, Mae, Tia, Melissa, and Hope, the new girl, been here two months. Mae was the sneaky one. The practical joker. And completely un-phased by anything.
When no one answered her, she shrugged and brushed past to sit on Amber's bed, clearly wanting to enjoy the show. Behind her, came Tia and Melissa. Great. It's a party.
"I won't be persuaded on this," Amber said to Min. Min plucked the report card from her fingers and scanned it.
"A compromise, then," she said. That was Min. Always a compromise. She was good at those.
"No."
And that was Amber. Stubborn as all get-up, and way too protective for my contained temper...especially after what went down today at school. "I like compromises," I piped up, and grinned at Amber's scowl.
The doorbell rang. Cue Mr. Blake. Min's face blushed, and her eyes went all soft and lovey. "I want both of you to think about it. We'll talk more when I get home."
"When will that be?"
"The usual," she smiled. "Ten o'clock."
Mae rolled her eyes. She did that better than anyone. You could see total white. "Jeesh, Min. You know you don't have to rush home."
Min blushed to a crimson. "You have my number. Call if you need anything."
"Can we order pizza?"
Hope's voice carried from downstairs. "Min! Your DATE is here!"
"Just don't get carried away," Min answered Mae's question, smoothed her dress down her hips and sucked in a nervous breath. I shook my head. Those two -- Min and Mr. Blake -- they've been seeing each other since Min arrived at the foster home as our care-giver, but every time she saw him, it was like she got the prom night jitters. Cute, really. And a little nauseating.
Min left, a hopeful smile to her perfect lips. The rest of us looked at each other, knowing smiles on our lips...even Amber's. With a squeal, we dashed out of the room and down the stairs.
Mr. Blake. Silas Blake, to be exact. Dark hair, gray eyes, solid build, and a lopsided grin that stole even my breath away. Hope sighed next to me.
"Ladies," he said in greeting, with a smirk. "Was I interrupting anything?"
"Not at all," Min said, a little breathless. "Discussing report cards."
His gray eyes zoomed directly on Melissa. She snorted at him. "It ain't me this time."
I waved my hand. "I'm the culprit. I got a B."
Instant disapproval darkened his face. "I thought we talked about that."
Amber lit up like the Fourth of July. "Ha!" she exclaimed.
"It's just a B."
He didn't budge. He really took his responsibilities too fare sometimes. Mr. Blake used to be the supervisor for our foster home, but his interest in Min forced him to transfer to another department. But that didn't dim the fatherly way he treated all of us. Not that I'm complaining. None of us girls really ever had a father. Mr. Blake was the closest thing. And Min, the closest thing to a mother I've known since Sis and I were taken from our real mom.
"We'll talk about this later," he said, sternly. And I flinched. Besides Min, Mr. Blake knew about me also. He knew what I was to become, and he didn't like it, but he couldn't do anything about it.
Lord, when he found out... Let's just say, NO ONE wanted near him. Min was left to explain and soothe him. She's the only person who could. I don't want to think about what means she went to on that day.
Min and Mr. Blake left. Melissa, as oldest, was in charge. Usually, we had another staff member from the foster services come and watch us, but there were nights -- like this one -- that Min encouraged our independence. Which shouldn't really be a good thing. Melissa disappeared to her room the whole evening, and barked at anyone that bothered her. That left Mae to plan more of her antics, Tia to fall into her depressing silence, Amber to badger me all night, and Hope to watch it all, since she wasn't quite so familiar with the dynamics of our little group.
And me to brood about my fate.
Maybe I should have let Josh Wilkins kiss me. At least, I'd have something to think about other than my destiny as an immortal being.