Don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT, and SHARE!(more big time jumps in this chapter sorry:/)
I see Loren look down at the thing that can change my entire life as she says "Oh my god, you're not pregnant. You're not pregnant." I let out a huge breath I didn't know I was keeping and I feel a tear come out of my eye.
Thank God!
Loren hugs me and I can't help but laugh at us. Here we are celebrating that I'm not pregnant, but in like 5 years I'll be wanting a family.
I just keep repeating "I'm not pregnant," over and over again just to make sure this is real and not my sick imagination. After this I'm definitely making sure that I use protection all of the time. I'm gonna watch the guy physically put the condom on just to make sure.
"Lo, I'm not pregnant," I say smiling and she laughs at me before a look of horror crosses her face. She quickly grabs one of the bath towels over her face and says "WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE THE FLU! Get your ass away from me. Go in your room." Loren starts to nudge me to my room and I say "I'm going I'm going. Just let me celebrate for a little it. Ya girl just found out she isn't pregnant," Loren laughs and says "Honestly that would've been a train wreck," And I nod my head saying, "I can barely take care of myself let alone another human being,"
Loren and I call the doctor's office to see if we could get the medicine for the flu, but they said they could only prescribe it after they officially diagnosed it, which would be in 2-3 days. The next 3 days Loren keeps me locked inside of my room only letting me come out to use the bathroom. Finally we get a call from the doctor, "Is this Mrs.Zahria Freeman?" The lady on the phone asks I quickly say yes. Loren starts to put on her jacket so we can pick up my prescription. "Congratulations! The tests came back and though you tested negative for the flu, you are pregnant. We have a lovely list of OB/GYNs that we could transfer you to,-" I quickly cut her off laughing and say "Is this a joke or something? I'm not pregnant,"
The lady on the other line pauses for a second before saying "Ma'am you are Zahria Freeman correct? You are pregnant." I shake my head even though she can't see me. By now Loren knows something is wrong and walks over to me. "No you have to be wrong. I took a test earlier this week which said I wasn't. You have to be mistaken." The lady pauses again and says "Ma'am pregnancy tests often give users false negatives. The only true way to find out if you're pregnant is by a blood test. I would be happy to transfer you over to an OB/GYN for their expertise," I roll my eyes and say "I don't want to fucking talk to your OB/GYN. I'm not fucking pregnant,"
I hang up the phone and just stare at the floor. I'm fucking pregnant. I look up to Loren and ask "Have you heard of a false negative," Loren immediately says "Yeah, but only in movi-" She quickly rushes over to me and says "Oh my. Are you-are you actually....pregnant?" I laugh ironically and say "This must be the universe's way of fucking me over." This must be the shock talking.
Loren guides me over to the couch and says, "Okay. You're pregnant. That's not the end of the world," I'm still a bit shocked so I just stare into space not saying anything. "Let's explore all of your options," Loren says softly and I shut it down. "I'm not going to do that. That's off of the table. I can't do it," Loren softly rubs my leg and says "Zahria, you can." I shake my head and start to tear up, "No I can't. I won't." Loren nods her head and says "Okay, then we won't do that. We're going to figure all of this out Zahria. I promise,"
***
It's been about 2 months since I've received that life changing news and now I'm three months pregnant. I'm obviously not showing yet but I swear I feel like I'm already dying. Well I guess I am kind of showing, but it just looks like I ate real good. I still haven't told my parents so Loren has really been the only one there for me, taking me to doctor's visits, reminding me to take my prenatal vitamins, all of that good stuff. Even though we don't have everything figured out yet we're making this work. I don't know what I would do without her.
Currently I was sitting on the couch watching Family Feud when Loren knocks on the door. She actually went to her classes today. I open the door to see someone who definitely isn't Loren.
"What are you doing here?" I ask. Stupid Zahria! I should've just slammed the door in his face. "Princess, I missed you," Erik says pushing past me and into the apartment. I'm not even able to comprehend what's going on and I'm sure I look like a sitting duck waiting to get killed. "What's wrong Princess?"
I'm still not able to say anything. For all of this time without him I've been feeling all of these emotions towards him and now with Erik right in front of me I'm numb. "I said, what are you doing here." I finally utter out. "Oh come on Princess. Let's not fight, I want to show you how much I missed you," Erik says and pulls me into his arms.
"Stop," I say and push him off. "Just stop, why are you here?" Erik roll his eyes "Ugh can we not fight right now?" I'm still shocked so it doesn't phase me with how disrespectful he's being. Erik comes back over and presses his lips onto mine when finally I'm hit with everything. "NO" I scream as I push him away with every muscle in my body. I'm sure it didn't affect him though. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? LEAVE. I hate you., I hate you. Leave me alone. Get out. Leave."
Erik looks at me confused and says "Okay, what just happened. Why are you acting all craz-" I cut him off, "No you don't get to call me fucking crazy. Everything was so good and you fucking left me. And now you come back and want to pretend everything's fine and we're all happy and shit. Fuck no. Leave. Fuck you," Erik laughs at my behavior and soon I'm seeing red, "Princess what happened while I was gone huh?"
I slam my fist onto the wall and scream "GET THE FUCK OUT! I swear if you don't I'll call the cops. You don't want to play with me right now Erik. You can't leave and pretend everything is okay," Erik holds up his hands and says "Okay, okay. I know we're being serious right now, but damn you look sexy as fuck." I clench my teeth as he makes me angrier. "You can't fucking leave someone like that Erik and expect for everything to be fine! I tore myself apart because of your sorry ass. I fucking hate you," I can see that I finally hit a soft spot for Erik but he soon takes all emotion out of his face.
"Princess calm down, I swear I have a good reason. Don't fucking kill me or something," I bite my lip and say "Oh you have a good reason. I bet I have a better one," I know it's a bad idea to tell him, but I just want to win this argument. I need to get above him. I have to.
"Princess just calm the fuck down, and let me explain it to you." I'm still shaking with anger while he starts talking, "I didn't tell you this earlier well because, I thought you didn't need to know but obviously you do now. I know right now that I'm in grad school but my main job isn't very...how do I say it ethical."
I question him with my face and say "What do you mean?" Erik looks me straight in my eyes and it takes me everything to not get captivated again when he says "Princess, I trust you. But I swear if you tell anyone, I'll have to do something in return." I can't believe my ears, is this nigga threatening me? "You know all of those scars on my chest, well each one of them stands for a person that I've killed. It's kind of something that I do,"
I'm stuck there dumbfounded. Great my baby daddy is apart of the mafia!
"You know how it was in Oakland, I had to choose whether to kill or get killed. So that's what I have to do now,"
Yep, retreat, retreat, retreat! There's no way in hell I'm telling him about this baby. He's a fucking gangbanger.
"Princess tell me what you're thinking," I'm just standing there shocked not knowing what to say. This nigga might fucking kill me for all I know. I don't know what to say, or what to do, so I let my instincts take over.
Run.
I make a run for it out of the apartment and as I'm leaving I pass Loren who looks at me confused. I don't even stop for her I just keep running and somehow I find myself as a bar. How ironic right, a pregnant woman at a bar, but don't worry I only order a Coke. I sit down on the bar stool and just think. What has my life become? I'm a pregnant college student, my baby's father is unreliable, crazy, and a murderer. I should've never had that fucking one night stand.
The bartender tried to make small talk with me but I brush of every attempt. I lay my head down on the bar counter when I hear scuffling and an all too familiar voice come inside of the bar. I don't bother to turn around until I feel a tight grasp on my arm yank me out of the chair. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Erik asks me with fury burning in his eyes. I see the bartender in the corner of my eye and he says "Let her go man or I'll have to call the cops," Erik brushes off the bartender and says "Call the fucking cops. I don't care. Back to you, I swear Zahria if I find out you're drinking," I'm shocked in my place as Erik looks down to see my drink. He then lets go of my arm only to knock my glass down on the floor shattering it everywhere, "What the fuck was that? Look at me Zahria, what the fuck was that?" Erik then grabs the bartender by the collar and says "YOU FUCKING KNOW YOU'RE SERVING ALCOHOL TO A PREGNANT WOMAN,"
Loren. That bitch. She told his ass.
I scream at Erik, "Let him go! I swear it was just Coke. Calm down. It was just Coke," Erik shakes his head. "Then why are you at a fucking bar!?" I shrug trying to keep my cool when really I just want to burst out in tears, what the fuck is going on, "I just needed some air,"
Erik doesn't miss a beat and says "So you came to a FUCKING BAR," Erik grabs my arm once again and starts to drag me to the bathroom and I hear the bartender yell "Someone call the police!" But I'm too focused on what Erik's doing to care. He could literally kill me.
As soon as we get into the bathroom Erik starts yelling again, "You're fucking hurting my baby, fuck are you even gonna keep the baby. Fuck what am I saying hell yeah you're keeping this fucking baby,"
I finally lose it, "OH HELL NO. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HERE FOR 4 FUCKING MONTHS. YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS OVER WHAT I DO WITH MY BODY! THIS IS MY FUCKING BODY AND IF I WANT AN ABORTION I'LL GET A DAMN ABORTION. I don't care who the fuck you are or what type of connections you have but you will not tell me what to do with my body or child. You got me fucked up." All I can see is red but I keep going, "It's none of your business but I am keeping the fucking baby, but I don't want you to see it! You've been gone for 4 fucking months you aren't responsible enough for a child! You will have NOTHING to do with my baby, I will do everything in my power to keep you away from my child,"
Erik screams back at me "THIS IS MY CHILD TOO!" I roll my eyes, "NO YOU LOST THAT RIGHT WHEN YOU LEFT FOR NO REASON 4 MONTHS AGO! You have no rights so I suggest you get the fuck away from me before this becomes a REAL problem." Erik punches the wall and says "Okay Princess," I can tell he's trying to sweeten me up, "How about this, we raise this baby together. I don't want to fight with you baby. You're carrying my child," As he finishes he reaches his hand out to touch my cheek but I flinch away.
"We both know damn well we can't raise no baby together. We can't even go a week without getting in an argument, you doing some dumb shit, or leaving. Fuck no, you can forget that shit," Erik just shakes his head at me and says "Okay Princess, can you calm down for me?" I shake my head, "Oooh. I won't fucking calm down. Get the fuck away from me! You're so good at leaving so go ahead and do it. Do me and the baby a favor and leave." Erik shakes his head and says "Zahria listen to me. I want to be a part of this baby's life. I need to be there for the baby. I don't give a fuck, I'll take your ass to court. I'm going to see this baby. But before we even go that far let me just talk to you for a second. Just give me 5 minutes and I promise I can explain everything. I know it won't fix everything, but I swear it'll make it better. I guess it's time for me to tell you about Wakanda....."