I am loving the feedback on this story which would explain why I am updating it faster than normal! You guys are so nice and encouraging:) thank you xox Hope you enjoy this update! Things are starting to get good if you know what I mean;)
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Nate's head is buried into his iPad and his headphones are in their usual place, wedged into his ears. I stop about a three feet away from the little circle that they had formed around the large tree in the center of campus.
Trent smiles up at me when he sees me standing in front of him and the rest of his friends. His braces catch the sunlight as he does and I have to squint my eyes.
"Hello Trent," I politely say returning his smile. My eyes scan to Gavin who has frozen with his sandwich brought halfway to his mouth. Nate's body goes rigid when he hears my voice but his face lifts up towards the sun. "Gavin," I add my eyes narrowing with humor. Then I manage to smile at Molly. "Hey," I say to her before I add, "mind if I sit?" My voice is off, more timid than usual but I am hoping they don't notice.
They look around their little circle, eyes speaking for them. I shuffle my feet against the dirt, my lunch tray in hand, waiting to be accepted. My focus is mainly on the boy leaning against the tree. The sun makes his hair glisten and the golden rays only add to the undertone of his skin. The sun will never appear as golden as his eyes though.
'Yeahs' and 'alrights' make their way around the circle but when it comes to Nate, he looks away.
I sit beside him, far enough that there is no way our limbs can accidentally touch. I tuck my legs under my skirt, ranting in my head that if it gets mud on it I was going to go home and stay there.
They soon forget that I am even there and casual chit chat carries on with ease while I sit there looking off into space and enjoy my apple. Trent and Molly uphold most of the conversation, most of which I don't bother to join.
I didn't start paying attention to them talking until I hear my name. I turn my head back to the people sitting in a half circle and put down my apple.
"I'm sorry, I was daydreaming. What did you say?" I have the decency to look bashful while I smile at them as friendly as I can.
"Is it true that you and Daniel Greyson called it quits?" Trent divulges again. Molly beside him swats him on the shoulder and gives him a hard look with those green eyes of hers.
Nate beside me stiffens.
"I'm sorry," Molly apologizes for her friend. "These barbarians don't know how to speak appropriately to the opposite sex. We're sort of working on it."
"I speak to you all the time," Trent says a matter of factly.
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure half the time you forget I'm a girl."
Trent shrugs as if he knows this to be true. "Well, it only makes sense considering you may as well be a boy since you like girls too." Molly laughs and smacks Trent upside the head. "Stop hitting me!"
My mouth drops open as this information hits me. I look at Nate from the corner of my eyes and know that behind those glasses of his, he is mentally watching me, gauging me of my reaction. I can feel the blush rise up my neck and dot my cheeks at the silliness of me getting jealous over her with being around Nate.
"It's okay," I react, looking back down at the apple in the palm of my hand. "But yes, we did."
"Is it because of Nathaniel?" Trent continues to prod.
"Shut up, Trent." This comes from Nate, who has taken out his earbuds next to me. His low voice makes me jump out of my skin. I didn't know if he was listening or not. He was doing a good job at ignoring me and I don't blame him. I wasn't very nice to him this morning.
"It's okay." I look over at Nate and hold my breath as I swiftly graze my hand over his forearm to consult him. His gasp is barely audible but I hear it and it warms my whole body. "Nate is not the reason." Well, not fully. "No one gets to choose who I get to be friends with. Danny is a very controlling person. There's only so much a person is willing to take, you know?"
It feels weird talking to these people in this sort of manner. I don't know if I am revealing too much or too little and that makes these kind of situations uncomfortable.
"Do we have to worry about them coming after us now?" Trent wonders then gives off another "Ow!" when Molly hits him again.
He didn't have to specify who them was prefering to for me to get the jist. Gavin hasn't taken his eyes off me which in unnerving but I try my hardest to understand him while he's doing so, so I ignore the heavy gaze while Trent continues to throw questions, or maybe accusations, my way.
"What?" Trent curses at Molly after she gives him another hard look. Even Nate has his fist clenched. "Everyone is wondering it."
"Leave them to me," I assure Nate's friends. I try to smile at them the best that I can but when that becomes too much, I bite into my apple. It didn't matter who I was sitting with today, people were going to question my intentions. I want to assure Nate and his friends that they were going to be left alone from here on out but I didn't know if that is true. I didn't want to give false hope. But sometimes ignorance is bliss.
"You know what Kelly," Trent says as he props his elbows on top of his knees. "You don't seem as scary as to what everyone makes you out to be."
The whole group falls silent, measuring me up after what Trent just said. Molly's eyes are bigger than her fists and Gavin has finally taken his eyes off of me and has them locked onto the comic book on his lap. He bites at his nails while his eyes dart between me and the book nervously. Nate remains silent, his head shaking back and forth as he looks off into the scenery around the invasive school grounds.
I try not to take this to heart considering I make myself come off this way. It was my amo, the only shield that I could use to make people look up to me. Fear gave reason for the weak to listen.
"You should see me when I'm hungry," I retort with a wink, lightening their blow.
Slowly, laugher erupts between the group of misfits sitting in front of me. My nerves begin to relax with the sound of it and I finally manage to smile genuinely back. I peak over at Nate to see him smiling too, not laughing, but smiling softly. He seems to have relaxed too with the laughter coming from his friends. I lean over then, not pushing back against the need for his closeness for just a brief second.
"I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just couldn't stand them picking on you. I had to say something."
Nate sighs and his warm peppermint breath cascades over my lips making them slacken. "I know, Kelly. I'm sorry for how I reacted. Last night and this morning. Everything you do and say catches me off guard."
I gasp unintentionally. I look around the group to make sure no one heard me do so. Thankfully, they are all peering over Gavin's shoulder to look at his pages of his comic book ignoring us.
"Let's just forget about it, okay?" After going back and forth, I have concluded that it is better to be friends with Nate then to be nothing at all. It would make not touching him unbearable but I would gladly take what I can get from him.
Nate nods his usual justification and I look down at his perfectly shaped lips once more before leaning back to my formal stance and going back to eating my lunch.
Mindless conversation spikes up again and I go back to eating my lunch in peace, not having to worry about bonding over anything with these people because they even knew I wouldn't be interested. That was until I heard them talking about setting off another makeshift rocket in some open field tonight.
"You guys still do that?" I ask, my heart in my throat.
"Yes, it's freaking awesome," Trent answers with gusto. "We've been crafting a matchstick rocket, making it only out of tin foil, a safety pin, and a paper clip. Simple but effective. Add some soda rocks and we got ourselves a proper take off." Trent high fives Gavin who chuckles along with him.
"You're not worried or scared?" I ask again biting my lip the second the words are out of my mouth. "I mean considering..." My voice trails off along with my eyes to look over at Nate. He hasn't touched his lunch which is sitting next to him on the grass.
"Oh, Nathaniel doesn't come with us anymore. His mommy won't allow him," Trent badgers. Nate picks up his apple and throws it with too much force at his friend whose reflexes aren't fast enough to dodge it. It hits Trent right in the eyes. Trent falls backwards onto the grass cursing Nate out as he holds his face. Molly laughs and Gavin rolls his eyes and goes back to his comic.
"But you are coming out tonight, right Nathaniel?" Molly asks resting back down into the grass.
Nate nods once, his lips in a harsh straight line. I lean closer to him again.
"Your mom is right," I state, directing my words towards Nate. My voice is quiet so only he can hear over the howling and laughter from his friends. I can't imagine this boy lying about his whereabouts to his mother. "It's dangerous."
His head angles down towards where my face is just inches away from his. "I already lost my eyesight. What's a limb or two."
I don't smile at his cryptic joke. My frown deepens with the thought.
"When are you guys doing this?" I ask, turning back to the chemistry group. My insides have clenched in the mighty fist of guilt and worry.
"Eight o'clock tonight. Why? Thinking of wanting to join?" Molly answers. Nate's three friends have stopped whatever they are doing and are now looking directly at me.
"I want to come." It is settled. I have to come with to make sure things don't go astray like last time. I would see if I could leave right from Linc's and make it out.
"Kelly..." Nate's velvety voice interrupts my thought but I pay him no attention.
"Is that okay?" I ask, sitting up straighter. "It's up to you guys, of course."
They all nod numbly, appearing intrigued that I am actually interested in their little hobby. But I am not interested. I am now on high alert. Why was Nate putting himself in this kind of danger after what happened that night? Was he suicidal? Was that what I was missing? Was he a sadist who loved inflicting pain on himself? I know that he loves all this; the rockets, stars, the solar system, the infinite possibility of the what-ifs. But I also knew he wasn't stupid.
"Kelly, what are you doing?" Nate asks leaning into my shoulder. He doesn't jump away at the contact like I am used to him doing so but holds himself there against my side. His voice is so low that it sends a steady hum through my body.
"If you go, I go." I say each word with a nod of my head. My mind is made up.
"Why?"
"Because you are my friend. And friends look out for each other." I look into the dark lenses of the ray bans that Nate wore to the diner the night that we went to the arcade. Nate's lips are so close to mine. If I would just lean forward barely an inch they would collide with his.
"Friends, huh." One end of his lips quirk up in a smirk and it makes the urge to kiss him even harder to hold back.
"I'll work with what you give me." I hold my breath and watch his facial structure shift from my words. His jaw clenches and his eyebrows lower closer to the tops of his sunglasses.
As this settles with him, he leans back and stretches his hands behind him in the grass. I watch as his long fingers slide and pull at the green tendrals planted in the thick dirt underneath us.
"You're a strange species, Kelly Henderson." That one side of his smile stays lifted and butterflies flutter around inside my belly. Slowly they migrate to my brain.
"Some say I'm out of this world." My own smile stretches across my lips, leaving me grinning like the cheshire cat.
"I don't doubt that for a second." His head tilts back and he looks up to the sky.
I reach for a dangling headphone that was softly playing music around his neck and pop it into my ear. Nate softly smiles and presses his own in.
And there we sat, grinning and listening to some acoustic band I have never heard of, our shoulders touching and my heart beating erratically to the strumming of the guitar, and all seemed well in our own little world.