I hate studying. I mean, who doesn't? Those who claim to love it, they lie.
I hate studying with a passion but when I can't escape it, I have my own way of doing things. For one, I need peace and quiet. Hobi knows I have no problem with him blasting music day and night, but if I'm studying, he needs to lower the volume. I close my door and no one interrupts me unless it's an absolute emergency. I keep my phone off and I do not come close to my computer, unless I actually need it to study.
Studying in a café is about the last thing I would ever want to do.
And it's what I'm doing right now.
Why?
Because there's a very annoying ghost in my apartment.
And that might just tops the list of things I'd never thought I actually think of.
I didn't shower, I didn't brush my teeth, I didn't change from the sweatpants I slept in and I didn't even have my first coffee before I was out of the apartment, leaving a confused Hoseok and GD behind with a perverted ghost they can't see.
I look like a train wreck and despite staring at my laptop screen, trying to make information stick to my brain, I know it's completely useless because I can't stop thinking about the little visitor that will probably wait for me when I get back to the place.
I can see a ghost. I can talk to a ghost.
I have lost my fucking mind.
Like, what do I do now? Google how to get rid of him? Perform a ritual? Call in a priest?
I need to talk to someone. Even if I can't say what is happening, I need to talk. I call Namjoon.
"Hey babe," I can practically see his smile. "Did you settle in?"
"Yeah, we moved in yesterday."
"Do you like it?"
You have no idea how much I hate it.
"I'm... I'm not sure what I think about it," I admit. The place itself looks just fine. It's close to school, close to Hobi's dance studio, close to any place we might end up going to. It's big, dogs are allowed, the furniture is nice and it even has a nice balcony. The only problem is the something extra we really didn't ask for. "I'm not sure if I want us to stay there, if I'm being honest."
"Babe, come on," he sighs. "You can't leave."
"I'm not sure if I want to stay."
"It's my fault," he sighs again. I wish I could find it in me to comfort him but the problem is that he is right. It really is his fault. "I wish things could have gone differently."
"Yeah, you and me both."
"You're still low-key pissed, aren't you?"
"Yes," I admit. Honesty is the best policy, right. "And don't whine about it, you know you would have been pissed at me if the situation was reverse."
"Babe, I didn't have a choice," I can tell by his voice that he's tired of this conversation and in all honesty, it makes the two of us. "You know I had to leave."
"You had a choice, but alright."
"What was I supposed to say? Sorry, father, I'll leave you and your business hanging just so that my girlfriend doesn't whine?"
"Ah, so that's the problem here, huh?"
In fact, I did not whine at all. I was pissed and sad but I did not whine at all. More than anything, I was shocked and in panic, realizing that Hoseok and I can no longer afford the apartment and that Namjoon is going to leave us hanging in just two days.
I was too freaked about the whole thing to actually whine. He's bullshitting.
"In case you didn't notice, I didn't want to leave."
"Yeah, but you didn't have a choice, did you?"
"You're pissed," he sighs. "We're ending this call before one of us says something they're going to regret. Love you."
"Yeah, love you too," I snap as I hang up the call.
Instead of making me feel calm and reassured, he only made me remember that I'm in this mess because of him. He's the reason I have a ghost friend in my new home.
I can't ignore the situation for much longer. I have to face it.
...
"There you are," he beams up at me from the couch. "I was starting to get bored."
"My room. Now."
"Ooo, straight to business," he wiggles his eyebrows. "Your roommate isn't here, by the way. Feel free to talk to thin air, no one's gonna call the cops on you."
"Dude, why are you here?" I sound like a kid throwing a tantrum.
"I told you, it's my home," he shrugs. "Besides, I can't leave. I know you know nothing about what it's like to be a ghost but I can't stay away from here. I can leave the apartment, that's true, but I'm stuck in this limbo, however you want to call it. And if I'm stuck here for all eternity, I'm staying at my home."
"Why not go and explore the world? Huh? The world awaits, why stay home?"
"You're kidding, right?" he laughs. "You're the first person that can actually see me. The first conversation I had in almost a year. I'm not leaving."
"So, instead of haunting this place, you're going to haunt me?" I ask. What is this conversation?
"I was thinking more about being your ghost friend."
"You can't be serious," I stare at him but the look on his face tells me that he is absolutely serious. "I'm not sure I'd want to be friends with human you, much less ghost you."
"Your words wound me, JJ," he clutches his chest. "If I wasn't dead already, they'd kill me."
"Why are you even stuck in this limbo?" I ask as I drop down onto the couch. He isn't leaving, so I might as well try to find out as much as I can; maybe that can help me make him leave.
"Fuck if I know," he shrugs. "It's been like this since day one."
"Did you... die here?"
"Nope," he responds very casually; I suppose he's had the time to get used to the fact that he is dead. "Crashed my bike. I lived dangerously, died stupidly."
"I'm... I'm sorry about that."
He might be annoying, crazy and a ghost but that sounds like the worst death imaginable. Besides, he looks young. I'm sure there was so much more he wanted to do.
It's not fair. It should go in order. Death sucks but it sucks even more when it hits the young.
"Thanks, I guess," he frowns. "Never had someone tell me they're sorry I died."
"Well, I understand if you don't know what to say to that," I chuckle. God, this is awkward. "So what, you're going to kick out every new tenant that comes here?"
"That was my genius plan," he admits. "Before one of the tenants could actually see me."
"Yeah... I kind of want to move."
"You can't, I heard Hoseok talk over the phone earlier," he shakes his head. "You need to be here. And I need to be here too. Can't you just get used to three roommates."
"But... it's creepy."
"Thanks."
"Sorry."
"Don't worry about it, my emotions are dead too," he shakes his head. "But I mean it. I know we didn't get off on a good start. And trust me, I know how mindfuckingly weird this whole thing is. Believe me, I get it. But I... I need to talk to someone. You have no idea how it is to be silent all the time. Or even worse, to talk but not get a response because no one can hear you."
Is he trying to guilt me into letting him stay?
No, he's not. He's staying either way because there's nothing I can do about it. I can't exactly push him out, can I? He's staying here either way but unlike last night, he's actually trying to be nice about it.
"What do you want from me then?"
"A weird, ghost-human roommate pact?" he offers with a small smile.
"Okay," I nod my head. If I'm already crazy, I might as well go completely crazy. "Rule number one, no sleeping in my room."
"It's my room too!"
"Jungkook!" I snap. "That's your name, right?" I check.
"Yes," he sighs. "Fine. I'll chill in the living room when you're asleep. What else, princess."
"Don't call me princess," I pipe up. "JJ. That's rule number two. Rule number three: do not talk to me or distract me in any way when I am with another human, or whenever another human is around. My parents are shrinks and they won't hesitate to lock me up if they realize I'm talking to ghosts."
"Singular, JJ," he corrects me. "I'm the only one you can talk to."
"Oh fuck, please tell me there are no ghosts nearby."
"Surprisingly enough, in all this time, I haven't seen a single one."
"Good, one is too much for me," he sticks his tongue out. "Okay, no sleeping in my room, no calling me funny nicknames, no making other people think I'm crazy... what else? Yeah, no pervy jokes."
"Oh come on, I live for those!" he whines. "Pun intended."
"Jungkook, please," I tell him. "I'm doing a lot here, aren't I?"
"Fine," he sighs. "I'll keep my pervy self under control. Anything else prin... JJ?"
"Nice save," I laugh. "Yeah. When I study, I need peace. So when I tell you I'm studying, you go and freak someone else out. Okay?"
"You got yourself a deal princ- JJ."