Sorry if you don't want this, haha.
Trigger warning
AU
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I knew you were there...
I don't know how, and I don't know why, but being cradled in my Mothers arms I could see you standing behind the doctors, smiling a smile that told me you'd always be there.
Growing up, I loved spotting you floating around the room, not often did I make eye contact or reach out, but on the rare occasions I did, you never acted on them, thinking I was just staring and you happened to be standing right there. I never wanted to cry, because I had you.
I hate my parents, but you were always there, so, thanks.
I knew you wanted to help, every time my parents fought you wanted to take me away, even rushing by toys to make them move to distract me, it worked sometimes, but most of the time you were the distraction I needed.
I finally wanted to go to you, which was why I began to walk, I fell, stumbled, lost balance, but to get to you I'd do anything. You kept moving, but I thought you were helping, so I always followed. How did you not realise?
I don't care my parents didn't watch me, I only wanted you to see.
I remember cautiously walking down the stairs one step at a time in search for food, it made me feel safe you were behind me, which was why I wasn't scared of my parents.
While I was eating, the smile on your face was adorable.
"Fuck you, bitch"
I could tell my words surprised you, but you didn't get mad, only silently chuckled as I repeated the words my parents yelled each night. I didn't hear much else, it was rare if they ever spoke to me, but they changed me, even if it took awhile.
I stopped speaking because I didn't want to upset you, all I knew was bad language for the most part, but even at a young age I didn't like the sound of my voice, and if I did speak I didn't like the looks I'd get from my parents.
It hurt, the day my Dad hit me, I was terrified of him, but your presence would always calm my breathing and help me stay relaxed, I could hide away with you while you watched on, silently keeping me sane. You wanted to hurt my Dad back, you even tried, but your hand went straight through his body, it saddened me, now realising I couldn't hug you.
I thought my Mom would help, but she acted strange, I didn't really understand why she would breath out smoke or just lay on the ground, staring into space with a slight smile, I stayed away, she smelled bad, but I had you! That was all I needed.
I hated school, I didn't know if you'd follow, but you did! I didn't want any friends, humans scared me, I knew you were human too but you were a different human! One that cared for me...
But, not everything is perfect, is it?
I never spoke, and hung out by myself, I knew it upset you, you didn't want me to be alone, but I wasn't, I wish I could've told you that.
I don't think you realised but all the doodles were of you, my favourite being you hugging me tightly, protecting me from the world, but life doesn't work like that. People don't get saved by ghosts.
Years passed, you never left, I was grateful, more than I think you understand, students hurt me, and called me a freak, not one asking if I was okay, I didn't care, I don't want to become friends with people who'd allow others to get hurt, or people who hurt others for fun.
I was eighteen when I gave up.
That day I came home and completely blanked my Father, I didn't care if he was heartbroken, does he not realise what he did to me? I didn't like him, nor did I like the woman who left him, in fact I only ever liked you.
Sighing, I dropped my bag in my barren room, glancing around and remembering the times we shared. You watching over me as I subtly tried to get to you.
I knew you knew, I'm glad you weren't upset. Or at least, didn't show it.
Maybe I could've done something different, but I don't care, I'm going to be with you soon, anyway.
I locked the bathroom door and stared at my hideous face in the cracked mirror, you were so perfect while I was the complete opposite.
I didn't hesitate as I reached for the bottle of pills, but my thumb trembled, the only thing keeping me going was the fact that I would finally be able to hug the man who unknowingly helped me survive this long. I watched your hand go through mine, my lips lifting into a small smile. Thank you for trying to save me once more.
I brought it to my cracked lips, downing as many as my dry throat would let me, tears skimming down my disgusting cheeks.
It was difficult, but once I emptied the bottle, I glanced at you but only for a split second.
From the corner of my eye I watched you float up through the roof, a part of me knew you would wait. After awhile, I floated up too and sat bedside you, feeling the same presence I had all my life.
Your presence.
You wordlessly wrapped your arm around my shoulders, letting me lean on you without a word.
"It's over now" you whispered, I silently agreed, closing my eyes and whispering along with you as you spoke again
"It's over now"
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Thank for the request!
Eh? Thoughts?? Lmao