After Ronnie and I had a few courses of food in our stomachs and dessert, we check at the front desk to see if they knew which room Blake stays in. Turns out, he’s about three doors down from ours. He has two dorms though. The lady, Cara, at the front desk says he lives with his brothers and one sister. Great, a whole bunch that hate me, I think to myself. I sigh and follow Ronnie to the elevator.
We stop at our room and I suggest we take showers first. More pajamas are laid out for us. I have a white shirt with plaid red pants and Ronnie had a pink shirt with plaid pink pants.
I take a shower and try to scrub of the sweat on myself. I dry my hair off with a towel and look in the mirror. My eyes are red from tiredness and my skin is wet from the shower. I’m a mess. I sigh and put my hands on the granite table. The scars catch my eye, I lift my arm up and take a look at the scars I’ve made. Was it all just last night, everything? The murder, the scars, becoming outcasts? I look at myself in the mirror again. Yes, it was, it was all last night. I feel tears start to form in my eyes but I quickly wipe them away and walk out of the bathroom.
Ronnie takes a quick shower after me. I grab my pajamas and change on the other side of the bed where she can’t see me naked if she steps out of the shower. Once I pull up my pants and tie the front Ronnie is already at the door waiting. “Let’s go already!” She says eagerly.
“Geez, I wish I was as enthusiastic as you are about seeing these people.” I smile. I slump my shoulders down.
“Alright let’s go!” I can’t respond before she takes of out the door and down the hall three doors down. She looks up at the door grinning her sweet little grin as she watches me slowly walk down the hall. The feeling of meeting Blake face to face again makes a not in my stomach. I feel my whole body tense up.
Suddenly I feel a hand on my arm. I look down at Ronnie, “Are you okay, you’re shaking.”
I grab my arm she was holding and realize she was right. I am trembling. I am so scared of what can happen. “I-I’m fine Ronnie,” I lie.
“Um, okay,” she says taking her arm away. She hesitates before knocking on the door. My heart is thumping so hard against my chest and my blood must be going about a hundred miles per hour. I clutch my chest where my heart is, feeling its fast, hard rhythm.
There was silence then someone answers. “Who is it?” Their voice is high pitched and I can tell it is a girl who answered.
“Um, may we come in?” Ronnie asks. We can hear mumbling inside. Boys and the girl.
“Not until you tell me why you’re here.” The girl says again.
Ronnie and I exchange a glance. Then Ronnie turns and sighs, “We are here to see Blake.”
It was quiet again, but then the door knob turns and a girl is standing in the entrance. She has hazel eyes with long dirty blonde hair. She looks the same age as Ronnie and just as tall. If they both turned around I swear I couldn’t tell you who was who. They look identical.
The girl looks at Ronnie then adjusts her eyes up and I find myself looking at her. Her eyes widen in shock and her mouth drops open. “Blake, it’s that girl who kicked your butt in training!” I feel my face blush with embarrassment.
“Tell her to go away!” I hear Blake hiss.
“Well we tried.” I say quickly trying to walk away but Ronnie quickly grabs my arm pulling me back. She releases though and gives me a warning look. I return the gaze.
“Please, can we see him, we just want to talk . . . I guess we all need to talk.” Ronnie says sighing on the last part.
“Talk about what?” Another boy comes at the door. He is skinner then the first girl but looks the same age.
“Um, how we have the same last name.” I snap quickly.
“Yah, we have the same last name!” I hear Blake snap, “Now leave us alone!”
“No, not until we figure this out!” I yell back at him over the two kids. “Why did you storm away?” The two kids move away for me to pass. I walk in and find Blake sitting on a bed with his knees up to his chest and arms wrapped around them. But when he sees me walk in his arms are pushed back and his legs loosen a little from his chest. He is wearing black sweat pants with a white shirt. His face looks startled when he sees me.
“Why did you storm away today at the hill!?” I demand walking closer to him, pointing a finger. “Why, why do you hate me, why won’t you just talk to us?!”
“I did talk to your sister,” he says getting off the bed, standing and facing me. “She seems more . . . tame than you do.”
“Well she is, now tell me what you know about our last name!” I snap at him again.
“That’s the problem, I don’t know! I don’t know anything about our last name.” He pushes past me, running his fingers through his hair. “I wish I did, but we can’t all be brothers and sisters, can we?”
I can tell easily that this has been bothering him as much as it has been bothering me. I relax a little not feeling so angry at him.
“Well, no. We would have known that but we would’ve known if we were all family, wouldn’t we?” I agree walking next to him.
“I don’t understand, I mean, who do we ask about this? How do we find the answer?”
“I believe I know it,” I spin around and see the only person who has been nice to me in this family. Jason.
“Hi,” I say waving my hand shyly towards him.
Blake becomes confused at my gesture towards Jason and asks, “How would you know about our last name?”
“Well, you should know, wait . . .” He thinks for a minute, “Actually you all would’ve been way too young to remember. So it’s normal you all don’t know. But I was seven I do remember who Ronnie and Kimberley are.”
“Well, who the heck are they!?” Blake says grabbing Jason’s shirt color.
“Whoa, take it easy there Blake.” He rips his shirt away from his brother’s grip. “I’ll tell all you guys if you promise not to freak out.” Ronnie and the two other kids come over to us when they hear that.
“Who are they, your brother and sister?” I ask.
“Yep, that’s Saige,” he says pointing to the girl, “and that is Ivan.” Jason says pointing to each one while saying their names. “They’re twins.”
“Oh, I was going to say they look alike.” I say pointing from Saige to Ivan. “Ronnie though looks just like Saige.”
“Oh for the love of all that is great on this forsaken universe, Jason do you know why we have the same last name or not!?” Blake cuts in anxious to know.
“Oh right, maybe we should sit down though.” He walks over to a chair that looks like ours on the side of the bed. He pulls the chair from the small desk and puts it in front of the coffee table in front of the couch. Saige and Ivan both flop on the bed resting their chins on their hands. Ronnie decides to crawl up next to them. I sit on one of the ends of the couch and rest my arm on the arm rest. Blake sits on the other end. I turn my head a little to look at him. I know we’ve seen each other before, but where and, mostly, when.
“Okay, which should I blurt out first,” Jason says sitting down in the chair, “the story or the real truth?”
“The real truth!” Blake blurts out before anybody could answer. “I would like to hear it before I grow old and die here!”
“Okay, okay,” Jason laughs. “But maybe I should tell the story first. Yah that will be good, then you have an idea of where I’m coming from.”
“Alright, just hurry up.” Blake hisses impatient. Jason laughs, then looks around staring at all of us and his expression changes from happy to shock. What is he thinking? His eyes soon fall on me and we both stare at each other. Then he sighs, “The last time I saw you guys was when we left for Manhattan, we were saying our good byes. I was giving a hug to Ronnie and then to Kimberley. I remember that day because when I looked into Kimberley’s eyes I thought we were never going to see each other, and we didn’t until now. Our dad and mom died a few short months after that.” He sighs and I can tell he’s is trying hard to hold back tears. “We had to leave our grandma’s house, it reminded me to much of my past and it’s not where I wanted Blake, Ivan or Saige to stay for the rest of their lives. So we left. Turns out police were looking for us.” He told us how they survived for weeks in the forest eating berries and roots. Ivan and Saige were only two and Blake was only four.
“Anyway, when you guys came in yesterday my head spun for a while. I never thought I would see you guys ever again.” He pauses again and looks at us again then at Blake and me. “Yes, we are family but we are not brothers and sisters. We are cousins.”
There was silence in the room. Blake and I look at each other both wide eyed and shocked. “Of course,” We both turn our attention to Ronnie. She is kneeling and has her hands up in the air. “I remember seeing Blake. But it was so long ago, no wonder I didn’t remember! We are cousins, but on which side?”
“Our dads. They were both brothers, but . . . after both of them died-“
“You mean your dad died.” I correct him. He stops and looks up at me.
“What, no, if your dad is alive you would be with him.”
I turn my head towards the window, “Unless he is the reason my mother is dead.” I mummer. I turn my head to see if Jason heard me and he must’ve, because he is looking at me confused.
“Yes, Jason,” I stand up raising my voice making sure he can hear me clearly, “my father and now, I guess your uncle, murdered our mother, your aunt.” Blake was now looking at me with the same expression. I soften a little bit trying to stay calm.
I look over him and see Ronnie already talking to Ivan and Saige. They were laughing and punching each other, like little kids. I grin and chuckle taking my arm off Blake and looking at Jason. “I think we should call them the triplets now.” I grin. He smiles and chuckles back at me. “I guess so.” Blake also smiles and turns towards the triplets.
Ronnie turns to me and grins. She jumps off the bed and runs into my arms, “Kimberley, we have a family! We have a real family!” I grin and hug her back. She pulls away and looks at me with her bright blue eyes. I run my left hand through her hair. I don’t even think of the scars before Blake grabs my arm. I try to pull away because I didn’t want to start another fight with him, especially now that we found out he was my cousin. He looks up at me then turns my wrist around exposing the scars. “Wh-what happened?” He says shocked.
Soon Jason comes over along with Saige and Ivan. Ronnie follows closely behind. They all stare at my scars. Jason and Blake both look at me, concerned. I pull my wrist away. Blake doesn’t try to hold onto it. I sigh and look at the scars before I lay my wrist out again so everyone can see. I point to the R first. “This reminds me to take revenge on my father for what he did to my mother and my sister and I.” I clench my right hand into a fist. “I will never forgive him for doing what he did.” My finger slid down a little until it was under the O. “This one represents me being an outcast, I am one now and always will be one.” I sigh again twisting my arm back around. “Nothing can change that.”
Jason and Blake exchange a glance as well as Saige and Ivan. Ronnie just stares at me. I look down at my feet before the tears start to form again. I bury my head in my right hand and the sobs come again. Suddenly strong arms wrap around me. Without thinking I bury my face in their chest. I can tell now that it was Jason who was hugging me. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He rubs soothing circles on my back. “You’re safe now.” He holds me like that for a few more seconds then pushes me up. I wipe a tear from my cheek embarrassed to cry in front of my cousins, but what they had five years to get over I’ve had a day.
“Hey, you don’t have to be embarrassed to cry in front of us.” Jason says taking one hand off my shoulder. “We all understand what you two are going through.” I see Blake has Ronnie wrapped in his arms with Saige and Ivan on either side trying to calm her down.
I turn back to Jason. He smiles, “How about you guys stay the night with us?” He asks. I don’t know whether he really wants us too or he either feels really sorry for us. But I don’t care, Saige is already grabbing Ronnie’s arm jumping up and down with excitement. Ronnie takes her head out from Blake’s chest and smiles letting Saige show her around the other room.
Jason just grins, “Blake and I sleep in here and the other two sleep in that room. You two can sleep on the pullout beds in the couches if you want?” I look at the bed then feel the couch with my hand. I grin again and look at Jason, “Sounds good.”
“Awesome, Blake grab some blankets from the closet, Ivan go into your room and get some for Ronnie.” I sit and watch them get the blankets from the top shelf of the closet. I get up and walk into the other room seeing Saige and Ronnie pulling out the bed from the pull-out-couch. They lay the sheets down first then a soft white blanket.
After they are finished Ronnie and Saige both leap on the bed bouncing up and down.
I laugh and walk over taking Ronnie’s hand making her stop. “Are you okay sleeping by yourself tonight?” I ask.
“I’m not sleeping by myself,” she laughs, “I’m with Saige and Ivan.”
I open my mouth to tell her that’s not what I mean, but nothing comes out. It is true, she won’t be sleeping alone. She just won’t be sleeping with me.
After our cousins made our beds we watch TV and talk about our lives before we came here.
We go to bed around twelve o’clock. I lie in the pull-out-bed and look to see Blake and Jason already sleeping. My cousins, my family. Looks like Ronnie isn’t the only family I have to look out for now. Luckily I won’t be doing it alone. Then I close my eyes and sleep overtakes me.