I run to the back door just in time to throw up outside. I hear ma and Kayden heading my way. Just how I expected today to go, not! How embarrassing, I feel his hand on my back. "Are you okay Jessabell? I think you should go to the Dr, you been sick for over a week now." Kayden says with concern. My mom hands me a rag to wipe my mouth and gives me a reassuring look. I wipe my mouth and toss the tag into the sink and rinse my mouth out. I look at Kayden nervously "I actually have a Dr appointment Monday morning.". He looks relieved "Oh good babe. Your missing school I'm assuming?" He says. " Yeah I'll miss the day, my mom is coming with me." I state. He looks at me a little weird knowing I normally wouldn't have her come with me just got a Dr appointment.
I wonder if ma will let me get away with not telling him today. I know I should tell him Now that I have the chance to bring it up with the Dr appointment but I'm scarred on his reaction. It's awkwardly quiet all three of us just sitting in the kitchen. "I guess I'll head into the living room to give y'all some time to talk." Ma says giving me a knowing look before walking out. "What do we need to talk about?" Kayden says looking confused. "Um there's something I need to tell you." I say quietly. Kayden looks worried now but doesn't say anything waiting for me to keep going. "Well you know how we were at the cabin for new years?" He shakes his head yes "Well I don't know how to say this." I say nervously. "Well hurry up and say it your making me nervous." Kayden starts looking a little annoyed I won't just spit it out. "Um well I'm pregnant Kayden" I say looking down at my hands.
After a few minutes I look up because he hasn't said anything. The silence is killing me. I don't know what I expected to happen but not for him to just sit there in silence. He's just starting at me in what I'm assuming Is shock. "Aren't you going to say anything Kayden?". He looks like he's going to be sick now. "My parents are going to kill me!" He says running his hands threw his hair nervously. "What the fuck am I supposed to say to them? I'm only 17." He says like a cornered animal. This is what I was waiting for.
"My mom said she would talk to your parents." I say touching his hand. He pulls his hand away like I burned him. I can't help but feel a pang of hurt. He abruptly stands up from the kitchen table and starts to head towards the front door. "I have to go home." He calls out behind him before shutting the front door.
I just sit their at the table twiddling my fingers. I feel the first year run down my cheek. I never thought he would just walk out on me. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm pissed at him but what did I expect a huge hug? Well yeah kind of I didn't do this by myself. I expected more from him. Ma walks in and pulls me into a hug. "He just needs time to process what you just told him honey." My mom says hugging me closer. I wish he would have stayed. What a wonderful weekend! This doesn't even feel real, tks can't be my life right now. I hope it was the shock and he comes around once he gets his mind together.
I'm not going to tell Dakota until i go to the Drs. I know she'll text me when I'm not at school tomorrow. I hope Kayden doesn't tell anyone until we discuss everything. I'm covered up in bed into a little burrito of blankets. I could stay here forever I think with a smile. At least my bed won't walk out on me. I place my hand on my belly I know you won't either I think to myself. I can't help but to start crying again. I cry myself to sleep.
I wake up and it's completely dark and quiet in the house. I check my phone and it's 3am. No text or missed call from Kayden. This isn't like him at all. I can't believe he has nothing to say to me considering I just told him I'm pregnant. I thought maybe he would have wanted to go to the Dr with me tomorrow. I guess I'll text him and then go back to sleep.
J: Hey I know this is scary but my first Dr app is tomorrow at 8am and I really hope you can come. I love you Kayden.
I wait ten minutes but there's no reply. I hope he's just sleeping really heavy. I wonder if he even said anything to his parents. I hate feeling this anxious, it's the worst feeling and on top of that I'm nervous about the Dr app. I go ahead and set my alarm for 7am to make sure I'm up and ready for my app. At least I will have my mom there and not have to go alone I'm so grateful for that. I get a drink of water before laying back down and thankfully quickly going back to sleep.