Incorrect Pitch Perfect

By PriestAllyBrooke

29.8K 1K 738

Just for fun More

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By PriestAllyBrooke

Fat Amy: Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?

Beca: I'm a knife.

Chloe, from across the room: She's a little spoon.

———————————————————

Cynthia Rose : My sexuality doesn't define me.

Beca: Hey, how are you?

Cynthia Rose: Gay.

———————————————————

Chloe: [carves 'Chloe + Beca' into a tree]

Beca: What a nerd.

Beca: [adds '4ever']

———————————————————

Aubrey: What's this?

Beca: It's my to-do list.

Aubrey: Oh? That's great. I'm so glad that you're starting to be more organiz-

Aubrey: This just says "Chloe".

———————————————————

Aubrey: hey Stacie, are you a painting?

Stacie:... No?

Aubrey: Because I'd like to nail you against the wall

Beca: oh, thank god, I thought you were going to say that you wanted to hang her

———————————————————

Gail: I need all of you to be straight with me.

Fat Amy: [looking at the others] That's going to be extremely hard for everyone here.

———————————————————
Lily: your honor, I would like to plead guilty as well as request the death penalty.

Judge: this... Is a parking ticket...

———————————————————

Beca: Ow, my cheeks are killing me from smiling

Beca: Pretending to be so polite is exhausting.

———————————————————

Aubrey: wait you really like me?? For my personality?

Stacie: I know, I was surprised too.

———————————————————

Chloe: I hate when people say that you're too young to be in love. Let me remind you that when Romeo and Juliet met, Romeo was 16 and Juliet was 13.

Aubrey: Chloe, six people died and it lasted 3 days.

———————————————————

Ashley: So, who is the more clingy one?

Beca, one hand playing with Chloe's hair
affectionately, after placing a soft kiss on her cheek while her other arm is wrapped around her waist: Chloe, obviously.
———————————————————

Beca: I really like it when girls roll up their sleeves so you can see their forearms.

Chloe, looking down realizing she only has 2 arms: Aw fuck.

———————————————————

[At Camila and Lauren's wedding]

Chloe, pulling out bread: Hello everybody, I'd like to make a toast!

Audience:

Beca, whispering to Amy: Do you think it's too early for a divorce?

———————————————————

[Aubrey and Fat Amy from a distance looking at Beca and Chloe]

Aubrey: Are they flirting?

Amy: I think so.

Beca: We're not flirting, we're arguing!

Chloe: We're flirting!

———————————————————

[After leaving the history museum]

Beca: Chlo, why do you look disappointed? I thought you said Bethoveen was your favorite historical figure?

Chloe, hiding dog treats: It's fine.

———————————————————

[Chloe preparing for a date with Beca]

Chloe: What if she kisses me, Aubrey?

Aubrey: Then you kiss her back, Chlo.

Chloe, internally: But why her back though why not her lips?

———————————————————

Lilly: I hate Pottery Barn too! They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed.

Aubrey: You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets!

———————————————————

Emily: My mom might've raised an emotionally awkward child with self esteem issues, but shE DIDN'T RAISE NO QUITTER!

———————————————————

Cynthia Rose: I need some time off

Beca: For what?

Cynthia Rose: I can't tell you

Beca: How long?

Cynthia Rose: Don't know.

Beca: An unspecified amount of time, for a reason
I'm not allowed to know? How could I say no?

———————————————————

Fat Amy: Ok everybody, listen up. I have some bad news. Due to circumstances beyond my control--

Beca: Impulsivity and inattention to detail.

———————————————————

Chloe: I've been dropping her the most insanely obvious hints for like three years now. No response.

Beca: Wow. She sounds stupid.

Chloe: But she's not. She's really smart actually. Just dense.

Beca: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know..."Hey! I love you"

Chloe: I guess you're right. Hey Beca, I love you.

Beca: See! Just say that!

Chloe: Holy fucking shit.

Beca: If that flies over her head then, sorry Chloe, but she's too dumb for you.

Chloe: Beca.

———————————————————

Stacie: Hey Beca, are you free on friday? Like, around 8pm on friday?

Beca: Yes?

Stacie: What about you, Chloe?

Chloe: Yes, I am.

Stacie: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date.

Beca: Did she just-

———————————————————

(Beca has a concussion. Chloe is trying to fill out her medical form)

Chloe: Becs, what's your middle name?

Beca: Danger.

———————————————————

Chloe: Is that my shirt?

Beca, wearing a shirt that goes down to her knees: No...

———————————————————

I was in a bechloe mood soz guys

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