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"Find me in your heart. I'm in need of your love..."
Onika Maraj
11:30 p.m
"Wake up... we back home," someone says, knocking me out of my sleep.
I open my eyes slowly and look around, seeing that we are back in the student parking lot. I raise my head away from my neck pillow and stretch.
Damn. I slept this whole time?
I look up and see that Kehlani woke me up. She smiles at me," get up. I know you wanna get home."
I shake my head, chuckling," yea."
Five minutes later, I step off of the bus and stretch out my legs, yawning.
"See you at practice Ms. Maraj," my coach says, smiling.
I huff and smile back at her. After the game, she was talking to me about the fact that we can't call the cops because of what Beyoncé did. She made it seem like Beyoncé was some unstoppable force. I didn't like that because I wanted to see Bey getting what she deserved. Then Kehlani explained further on how Beyoncé was practically obsessed with her and the things she did to try to get her. It was all overwhelming and I didn't think Beyoncé would do something like that. But indeed she did. And that's what the problem is now. She won't stop until she get Robyn. I'm not letting that happen.
As I get in my car, waving goodbye to some, I take out my phone and see texts from Robyn.
Don't answer 🙄: are you okay? Did I do something? (6:54 p.m.)
Don't answer 🙄: can you at least next me back? I don't want you mad at me... (7:12 p.m.)
Don't answer 🙄 : did you make it home? (10:49 p.m.)
Shaking my head, I put my phone in my hoodie's pocket and lose my car door. I start up the car, letting it heat up for a moment then pull out of the parking lot.
All day, I've been avoiding Robyn. When I saw her at the game, she kept looking at me while she was on the court but I pretended not to see her. She asked me why did me and Beyoncé fight and I noticed she didn't even remember her name. That made me feel a little secure but still, I didn't answer her question. Now that word is I'm pregnant is probably all over the school by now, I have no reason to hide it. It kind of made me feel good because it was going to come out sooner or later.
My phone rings in my pocket and I pull it out. I look at the screen before focusing back on the road and see it's my mother.
I answer it quickly," yes mama?"
"Are you back in the city?" She asks.
"Yes. Are you?"
"I left this afternoon to attend a convention in San Diego. I left you some money on the fireplace and Roman said that she was spending the night with Zendaya. She left once the girls came back from their game. So the house is all yours. But I don't want-"
"-Any boys. Parties. Or drugs. I know, mama," I finish, turning the steering wheel and entering our community.
"That's right. I will be back on Monday, most likely. I just called to tell you what's going on before you start panicking and thinking I'm dead somewhere," she laughs.
I join in, remembering the first time I was home alone last year and I thought she had gotten into a car crash or something. My mind always thinks the worst of situations and I was calling the police and everything. Only to find out that she was at a dinner with some coworkers and her phone was on silent the whole time.
"I get it mama. You have a good night."
"You too, baby," she says, giving me a kiss before hanging up.
I pull into my driveway and park behind Roman's car. I then get out of the car, making sure to grab my bag, then walking up the cobblestone path to my dimly lit house. Once I make it to the porch, I take my house key and unlock the front door.
As soon as I open the door, the smell of French Vanilla hits me. I step in the house and look around, not noticing anything out of place. Still, the smell is lingering in the air. I close the door and slowly head up the stairs, trying to notice anything that seems out of the ordinary. Finding none, I continue up the stairs and turn down the hallway that leads to my room.
Once I reach my door, the smell is at its strongest peak. I open one wooden door and peek into my room, gasping at the sight.
There are rose petals on my floor, making two paths. One to my bed and one to my bathroom. There are candles spread around the room, giving the room it's only lighting. Two on each of my nightstands and a couple lined along the rose petal paths. I drop my things as I slowly walk into the room.
"Ya made it?" A low, raspy voice asks.
I look up and see Robyn coming out of the bathroom with a towel hanging low around her waist and a black Nike sports bra covering her breasts. My eyes drift down her body and I can see her V-line under her toned stomach. I try to tear my eyes away but it stays on her caramel skin.
My mind is blank to say the least. Words are at the tip of my tongue but I can't get them to come out.
Damn it. Why is she making me this way?
Robyn walks toward me and grabs my left hand. I look up into her mossy eyes and see that they are dark with lust and the sight makes my stomach turn.
"Y-you're sick," I say," you're supposed to be-"
"Hush, baybeh. I took some stuff an' I'm feeling betta fa right now. Das all dat matta's." She speaks in a low, calm voice.
Waterfalls. That's all I can feel now as her accent is on full display. I feel as if I'm floating on air as she pulls me to the bathroom. The bathroom looks almost exactly like the room with the candles and petals. A nice, hot bubble bath is ran in the jacuzzi and some strawberries are on a chair beside it.
"Strip for me..." Robyn says in my ear, sending chills down my spine.
Being obedient, I quickly take off my clothes while Robyn stands in front of me. Her eyes never leave my body once I'm naked in front of her and I grow self-conscious. My heart is pounding out of my chest and I look away as she steps towards me.
Her hand goes down to my stomach and she rubs it softly. Her other hand tilts my face to where I'm looking right at her.
"Don' be shy, babybeh... I still love ya da way ya are..." she whispers.
I smile weakly at her, my body practically melting under her touch.
"Get in da tub," she says, stepping back. I listen to her and walk to the jacuzzi. Once I sink in the water, a low sigh escapes past my lips.
This feels so fucking good. Why is she being so nice to me though?
I look to my left and see her sitting in the chair with the bowl of strawberries in her hand.
"'Ow was ya day?" She asks as I sink lower into the tub.
"Tiring..." I breathe out.
"I bet," she chuckles," fightin' people an' shit."
I smile, shaking my head and closing my eyes.
"Open ya mouth," Robyn says. I open it and I can feel the tip of a strawberry at it.
"Bite..." she whispers. I open my eyes and look slightly to my left, meeting her eyes. Her bottom lip is between her teeth and her eyes drift down to my lips.
I take a bite of the juicy fruit, my lips sucking on it before I take the piece into my mouth. Robyn groans lowly and I smile, seeing that my teasing worked.
"Das funny?" Robyn asks, smiling at me as I chew.
I nod, swallowing the fruit," just a little bit."
She shakes her head and puts the strawberry to my mouth again. I take another bite, purposely letting out a small moan and not breaking eye contact with Robyn.
Robyn lets out a whimper and she pulls the last of the strawberry away. She wipes her hand on the towel and sets the bowl to the side.
She then picks up the loafer and gets on her knees beside the jacuzzi. I sit up and she begins to bathe me gently.
"Why are you being so nice?" I blurt out.
She doesn't stop as she answers," I'm nah. I'm showin' ya 'ow much I appreciate ya."
When she says that, I have a extreme feeling of deja vu. Everything was almost the same as the dream. The French Vanilla. The candles. The bath. Roses. Everything.
Oh my god...
"Don' seem so surprised... I was gonna do until ya decided nah ta text meh back. So I was thinkin' ya was mad at meh. An' I didn't waan dat. So I continued wid it. Do ya waan meh ta stop?"
I sigh and shake my head," no."
"Okay den," she says, chuckling.
After about ten minute of bathing me, she stands up and walks out of the bathroom.
She comes back with a big white towel and getting the memo, I stand up and step out of the jacuzzi. I walk towards her and she wraps the towel around me like a baby.
"Dry off... I'll be in the room." She speaks lowly into my ear before leaving the bathroom.
As I dry my body, I can feel my heart pounding in anticipation. What if she wants to have sex. Am I ready for that? Am I ready to give into her that quick? It's been two months... and I'm supposed to be ignoring her.
My throbbing down below says yes. My body says yes. But I want to say no. But I know I can't. I should just do it. And see where that goes...
I wrap the towel around my body and walk out of the bathroom. As I walk into the dimly lit room, I can see the silhouette of Robyn lying down on the bed. She's underneath the covers and I can hear light snores coming from her.
"Robyn," I call out, but she seems to be knocked out.
"Robyn!" I yell. She jerks up into a downward dog and looks back at me.
"Wha?!" She asks back.
"Are you forreal asleep?" I ask, walking to the bed.
"Yes. I can only sleep wid ya," she explains.
"Then what was that bath and everything for? I tho-"
"Ya thought I waan to fuck, huh?" She asks, sitting up.
I make a duh motion with my arms and head," well, kinda!"
She shakes her head, chuckling," nah. Nah every sweet ting I do ends wid me fuckin' ya. I jus' waan to run ya a bath and listen to 'ow ya day was. I don't only wan sex. And I don' wanna rush an'ting..." she says, looking down," and I'm hea 'cause I can't sleep without ya."
I sigh, shaking my head," you really are willing to wait?"
She raises her head and nods," yea. I know wha' ya been through. I don't wan ya ta do an'ting ya not ready for."
"And what if I say I'm ready now?" I ask, biting my lip.
She stares at me for a long time, studying me. Finally she speaks.
"I'd say ya lying..." With that, she lies back down.
I sigh again, releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"Get in bed," Robyn says.
"Naked?" I ask, skeptically.
"Yes. I'm nah gunna touch ya."
I contemplate doing what she says before I drop my towel and walk to my side of my bed. I slide underneath my covers, facing Robyn. I pull the covers up, covering my body and stare at Robyn while her eyes are closed. Light snores are coming from her, indicating she fell asleep again.
She looks so peaceful. But I know behind those looks, she's fighting a battle that no one knows about. And I can't believe I thought she wanted me for sex. She wants something else and a lot of people don't do that anymore. She wants me to be happy...
And I just want to push her away...
I can feel my eyes burning as I turn around, away from her. I close my eyes in order to not let anything out.
"Baybeh." I hear a whisper behind me.
"Hm?" I hum, clearing my throat.
"Don' cry again..." she says, moving her naked body into mines. Her arm wraps around my body, her soft, hot skin touching mines.
"Ya 'ear me?" She asks. I nod, licking my lips.
"I love you..." I speak lowly, afraid to say the words aloud.
I can practically feel Robyn's heart speed up and pound against my back. I can guess she didn't expect me to say the words. But she quickly recovers," I love ya too baybeh... so much..."
A small smile crosses my face and it doesn't leave. Not when I close my eyes. And not even when I fall asleep. I'm glad I told her how I feel about her. Even if it was just by three words. Now I want to see where this goes...
~~~~~~~
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~Trina J.