I'm going to have s*x with Andy today. Then work out my suicide plans for tomorrow. Sounds good, right? If only I didn't feel like a bus ran me over.
I sit up in bed and glance at the clock with bleary eyes. 12:43. D*mn, I've been asleep for a long time. Yawning soundlessly and using my arms to hold me up, I try to swing my legs over the side of the bed, but my arms give out beneath me and I slump back into the soft bedding.
Breathing deeply for a few seconds, I spot Andy in a chair a few feet away, body slack and eyes shut. Is he asleep?
Well no f*ck, he's asleep! Way to point that out Captain Obvious.
I groan and throw my hands over my face. "Anytime, Sergeant Sarcasm."
Andy jolts awake in the chair, his eyes landing on me immediately. He sees that I'm awake and scrambles towards my bed. "Dakota! How're you feeling? Did you just wake up? Do you need anything?"
"I'm fine, Andy. Just a little worn out." I roll my neck and try to relax my overly tense muscles. Is this what it feels like? Dying? Will I face the cliché life-flashes-before-my-eyes bit or will it all just stop in a millisecond?
I turn my head to the side so I can stare at the wonderful boy in front of me. His dark hair is all messed up from sleep, making him look like a little kid - especially with those big gray eyes. "What happened yesterday?"
He intertwines his fingers with mine, opening his mouth to speak. But before he can, a loud 'mew' sounds from under me. Cleo crawls out from under my bed and stretches his back with a toothy yawn. He jumps up next to me and nudges my unoccupied hand with his head.
Smiling, I scratch behind the cat's ears, running my fingers through his unbelievably soft, gray fur. He puts his two front feet onto my stomach and starts pawing at me, purring like a motorboat.
"What happened?" I ask again, no longer distracted by Cleo.
"Oh, right. Well after you... passed out, I called one of the nurses to come in and help. You know, make sure you were going to be okay and everything. You were moved into a hospital room so you didn't have to lay on the floor and someone came in and said it was just exhaustion and that you'd be fine when you woke up. I'm really sorry, Kota; I know that you don't like it when other people touch you and you probably wanted me to just bring you straight back here, but I needed to make sure you were okay."
He pauses, as if to see if I was pissed at him. Don't get me wrong, I don't like that he let the doctors check on me, but I can't hate him for caring. But I can only wonder, what if they wound out what's wrong with me? What if they found out that I can tell when someone will die with merely a touch?
"Anyway, after they said you were just going to be sleeping for longer than usual, I brought you out to the car- Cleo was freaking out- and drove you back home. Loonie was going ballistic and stayed up all night just in case you woke up and needed her - she actually just went to bed a few hours ago. I told her I'd sleep by you just in case you needed help."
I gather up all my strength and try to sit up again, groaning. "How long have I been out?"
"About twenty hours, give or take a few."
"Holy sh*t, really?"
He shoots me a small smile. "Yeah, I wanted to wake you up, but the Loons said it'd be better to let you sleep in."
Twenty hours of my life. Gone. "Do you know why I was so tired?"
Andy shakes his head. "I was hoping you'd tell me that. Have you been getting enough sleep lately?"
"Probably more than enough."
"I know you haven't been over working yourself, because you're with me almost twenty-four seven," we share knowing smiles, "What happened when we went to see Luca?"
I used all my energy to pull Andy onto the bed next to me so I could snuggle up next to him. "One minute I was fine. Then I touched him. At first it felt normal - like when I touch you; well, not like when I touch you because I didn't get all calm, warm, and tingly."
He blushes with a smirk on his face, drawing patterns on my skin, leaving said feelings to warm my entire being. "But then I started to hurt all over. I saw a Number, but it was blurry, like it wasn't sure what number to be. I think that that's why I passed out; I lost all my energy trying to read a Number that was still trying to decide what number to be."
Andrew blinks back at me with a straight face. "That may be the most confusing thing I've ever heard you saw."
I burst out laughing, Andy joining along. Even though my situation may be- okay, is a little morbid, he still manages to make me feel better.
I find myself not wanting to leave him.
But that in itself is all the more reason to die.
~*~*~
I pretty much feel as good as new. After just laying in bed with Andy for a few hours, Loonie joining in and bringing plates of food, I feel like all the weariness I had before has just vanished.
Yet, I still have no idea as to how I'm going to get Andy to sleep with me. What am I supposed to do, seduce him? I wouldn't even know where to start! We've never done anything even remotely s*xual before. At least, I don't think we have.... Have we? Oh god. I'm going s*xually-senile.
I think its time to put my anxieties away and ask the one person I know who can help me with this: Loonie.
I hesitantly walk into the kitchen. Loonie's sitting at the counter with her tea and book. "Um, hey Loons."
"Dakota! How're you feeling?" she asks, putting her book down.
"I'm fine Loons, but-"
"You fancy a cuppa? I made a brand new batch just a few minutes ago!" She gets up from the bar stool and tries to get me some tea.
"No thanks, I'm fine. But I really need to talk to you abou-"
"Hungry? I'll make you those sandwiches you said you liked."
Laughing a little, I lead her back to her seat by her shoulders and say, "Ma, I'm fine! Quit worrying about me!" Loonie settles back into her seat, trying to hide a smile. Meanwhile, I'm trying not to break down crying.
Its been so long since I've ever acknowledged anyone as my 'ma'. I didn't even mean to say it, it just slipped out. But I can't regret it because it feels appropriate in this situation. Sometimes Loonie acts like a best friend, or even a close sister, but I can always count on her for the 'nagging mother' I need. Plus the smile she's sporting right now tells me she has probably wanted me to call her that for a while.
Clearing my throat and already feeling my cheeks flush, I sit down. "Loons, I need to know how to... get a guy."
She rolls her eyes. "Honey, you've already got a lad. And a cutie at that. Why would you need to know how to catch another?"
"No, that's not what I mean. Andy and I have known each other for-" seven days? Yeah because that just screams 'ready to f*ck'. I try a different approach. "Andy's amazing. And I need to know how to... take it to the next level."
"Hand jobs?" Loonie asks casually.
"How can you say that so casually?! Do you even know how horridly awkward this is!"
"Sweetie, it's just the human body. You're going to have to face it sooner or later." She sips her tea and folds her hands like a lady.
Yeah, a lady who's trying to get you to be a slut.
"I want to have s*x with Andy!" I blurt out. My hand immediately slaps over my lips and I stare wide eyed, not believing what I just said.
Loons splutters a little, choking on her tea. She coughs awkwardly and sets the cup down before muttering, "I was hoping it'd be later rather than sooner." She pulls up the other bar stool and gestures me to sit down. I do so and she just stares at me. "Why the sudden interest in s*x?"
"I-I... I don't know," I mutter.
"Well I'm just going to be a terrible foster mum and assume you're ready for it. If not, then hopefully I'll scare you away from intercourse forever. Now! The first thing you have to do is stay away from him for the rest of the day. He'll start to miss you, therefore making you more desirable. Then invite him over and try to sound all husky and s*xy."
"Create a romantic ambiance; no candles or any of that sh*t, you'll just burn my house down. But just make sure there's no dirty clothes or dishes lying around. Oh and keep telling him sappy rubbish- but mean it, okay?- like, 'I love you', 'You're so hot', excreta, excreta. Simple enough, eh?
"T-that's it?" I ask tentatively.
"Hell, what do I know, I've never been the one to ask a guy to sleep with me! They all try to get me to sleep with them. Oh! But you're going to have to bottom. He'll be-"
"What?!" What does she mean 'bottom'?! She can't possible mean.... Does she? Why me and not him!?
"You and Andy are about the same size and pretty much have the same attitude, so it's not obvious who's going to bottom. He'll probably be scared of getting a c*ck up his arse and may back out if you go all macho, me-man-you-woman sh*t. He'll feel loved if you're willing to be on the receiving end for the first time! Plus you've got loads of time in the future to switch it up a bit! Did I miss anything?"
"Nope, you're good, thanks Loons, bye!" I rush out and jog up the stairs, my face burning scarlet.
When I get to my room, I shut the door behind me and ran a hand through my hair. Oh jeeze. Note to self: never talk to Loonie about s*x.
There's a rustling behind the door and Loonie's voice perks up. "Be safe please." A condom is pushed under the door. I smack my hand over my face and quickly pick it up, hiding it under my pillow.
So. Stay away from Andy for a while. That sounds pretty easy, right? I flop on my bed and stare at the ceiling blankly. Maybe I'll take a little nap; try to gain more strength for... later.
~*~*~
My eyes pry themselves open and are met by two blazing gray ones. Startled, I let out a small screech and bounce back, accidentally falling on the floor.
Musical laughter chimes in my ears and I gaze up at Andy. He's brilliant. He really is.
"H-hi Andy." I stumble on my words, trying as hard as I can not to be nervous. What if he really doesn't like me like that and I'm just going to make a fool of myself?
"Hey Kota-Bear!" he cheers, smiling down at me with his pearly white teeth.
Realizing I'm still on the floor, I quickly get up while trying to cover up my blush with my dark brown hair. "What're you doing here?"
"Loonie called and said I have to baby-sit you," he winks and kisses my nose lightly. Instantly all my nerves disappear, hiding for future embarrassment, and a blanket of warmth envelopes me - ten times warmer than my actually blanket that I was using a few seconds ago.
"Did she say where she was going?" I ask, still swooning on cloud-nine.
Andy shakes his head, making his stylishly messy hair fly all over the place into an even cuter do. "No, but she told me to tell you, 'bottom'. She wouldn't tell me what that meant; do you know?"
Oh, the nerves are back. "N-no. She's probably just b-being weird again." I laugh horribly awkwardly. Andy just smiles and sits on my bed, looking up at me standing above him.
Now or never, Ko-Ko.
You need to leave. Like, now. I refuse to do anything with you saying creepy pedo stuff in my head.
Fine, the Voice grumbles, But can I still rag you about it later?
Out.
I wait a few seconds, but the Voice has seemingly left. Oh god, I've probably just been standing here like an idiot. I look down to see Andy still gazing up at me with a sort of curiosity in his dove colored eyes.
Letting my mind take over, I lean in and capture Andy's lips with my own. The taste is like drugs; so incredibly addicting. He groans in my mouth and grabs the both sides of my face to pull me closer. The kiss deepens as his tongue finds it's way to mine.
I straddle him on the bed, throwing one leg on one side of him, the other leg on the other side. Our hips immediately try to mold together, thrusting and grinding viciously. I shove my fingers through his thick brown hair, catching knots almost instantly. I tug on them gently and he moans loudly into my mouth, moving his hands from the side of my face to my a*s and lower back.
I'm being pulled even closer to him and suddenly clothes are too much of a barrier. Pushing back lightly, I slide my hands under Andy's shirt and tug it off. He does the same to me and all words are lost, relishing the feel of our bare chests rubbing against one another.
Andy falls back so that I'm practically laying on him and kisses me deliciously once again. He then flips us over and moves his lips from my mine, to my neck, sucking and nipping in the utmost pleasurable way. "Sh-sh*t." I breathe out.
I gasp, flinging my hips against his almost desperately. My hands move by themselves, first exploring the smooth ridges of his back, then dancing across his beautiful chest, me making sounds of pleasure the whole time. When they start to fiddle with the hem of Andy's jeans, he pulls away and looks into my eyes.
"Are you sure?" he asks, sounding a little uneasy. Right. What'd Loonie say? Be confident; his pleasure should come first.
I kiss him tenderly, biting his lip lightly and tugging before pulling away slightly. "I love you, Andy."
He kisses me again, just as raw, and rests his forehead against mine. "I love you too, Dakota."
((A/N: AYO! Le rated-R s*x scene is posted separately for those who want some hot boyxboy lovin' [namely: me]. Find it on my profile under 'My Works'. It's called "The 8 Days Of D.G. - Rated R (BxB)". I also put it as the external link for this chapter(: Just click the 'External Link' under the book cover to the right
NEWS: For some dumb reason, it's marked 'private', meaning its only available to me and my fans. If you want to read it, you can fan quickly, read it, then unfan if you want ^ ^ sorry about that; I'm trying to get it fixed
MORE NEWS: So apparently that doesn't work either. Wattpad hates me. Message me and I'll give you the link? It might work. Otherwise I can send it to you in a msg if you want (it's not that good... but alright) Sorry~
~*~*~
Laying in bed with Andy's arms wrapped around me makes me feel like I've just won the lottery. He plays with my hair, kissing my head every few minutes. My fingers draw little pictures- memories- on his chest.
One picture was of my parents and I (stick figures of course) when we used to sit on the back porch. It was a simple memory, but one of my favorites, nonetheless. We'd sit together and have a bonfire, roasting marshmallows and making s'mores. Mom would sing to me in her beautiful voice while dad would watch her like she was his whole world.
They never touched me, but it's still a good memory; just knowing that we sat together happily is a good memory.
Another one was more recent; a few months ago, a girl at school smiled at me in the hallway. I think her name was Tracy. Anyway, it was my first day at a new foster home and a new school. Tracy had long beautiful hair and shining blue-green eyes. It was obvious she was fairly popular. Most of the people in school would just glance at me, see my gloves and hoodie, then quickly look away.
Yes, I got a few smiles from other students, but none of them were like Tracy's smile. She looked right at me and cracked the biggest smile she could, ignoring how cheesy it made her look, ignoring how her eyes crinkled in the corners and that she was probably going to have deep crow's feet by the young age of thirty. It was a smile that said there's always something to be happy about. That's definitely a good memory.
Cleo strolls in, meowing loudly and jumping up onto the bed. Andy and I laugh as he wedges his way in between us and lays down, purring obnoxiously. Loonie can be heard trying not to make any loud noises down stairs, but failing miserably when moving all the pots and pans around.
How am I going to leave these people? More good things have happened to me in the last week than in my whole life.
Andy, the love of my life.
His family, offering to include me.
Loony Loonie, being my best friend, my sister, my mother.
Even Luca, giving me hope that I may be able to actually save people.
The bridge. I plan to jump of the bridge, landing in the fast, rocky, freezing river by the quarry. Then it'll all be over. But the question is, do I want it to be?
Just one day left.
Or a whole lifetime.
Tomorrow.