Romance Ragnarok
Somehow, Ruff managed to dodge from man to man, eating three steak entrees and swigging far more alcohol than any sane person would touch. She almost gave herself away by calling Snotlout 'Fish'...but claimed she said 'fresh!' instead. Though Astrid could see that the stocky man was so drunk he missed the slip anyway. But she watched her very drunk friend stagger from man to man and already knew it was only a matter of time before she gave herself away...while she and Hiccup spent the time cheering Fishlegs up and chatting as if they had been friends her whole life.
She sighed. Hiccup was kind, generous and listened to her moans, though he was willing to share his own disappointments when pressed. He had a very quick wit, a delightfully sarcastic sense of humour and an observant eye and she cursed her own stupidity in ignoring him at school. And she thanked Thor that she had been granted another chance to spend time with him because he was everything her ex was not and his presence menthe evening she had been dreading had turned into one of the best nights of her life. They were idly staring at their puddings and sharing them sundae idly when two of the serving staff sidled up and Hiccup's eyes widened and he lurched to his feet.
"Guys!" he greeted them joy lighting his face as a raven-haired young woman and a buff man with cropped carrot hair, three wide 'claw' tattoos over his left eyes and scars on his other cheek. Both were in the black uniform of servers which didn't deter the auburn-haired man from hugging them both strongly. The girl hugged him fiercely then back away-and her eyes fell on the blonde.
"Astrid!" she gasped and Astrid gaped.
"Heather?" she breathed and jumped up to hug her former friend. "Thor-I haven't seen you since you suddenly left the first week of Senior Year..."
"I'm so sorry," the raven-haired girl said, her green eyes filled with regret. "Our parents died and my brother needed me so I had to bail." She sighed. "I dropped out and then went back and did Senior Year the next year in BA, closer to home." Astrid hugged her back and then pulled back.
"I should have tried harder as well but you know...Theo and College and then...disaster..." she apologised. "Can we...maybe hang out...?" Heather smiled, her pretty face lit with pleasure.
"I'd love that," she admitted. "So what's been happening? You and Hiccup, eh?" Astrid blushed.
"Much longer story than we have time of rnow..." she began as a gentle voice interrupted.
"Heather?" The girl spun, her braid hitting her left cheek.
"Fishlegs?" she gasped. "I mean Felix...how have you been?" Fishlegs rose, smiling.
"I-I'm good...and you?" he managed and she smiled.
"Better for seeing you," she admitted. "Are you here with someone?" Fishlegs invited her to sit in the vacant chair opposite.
"Apparently not," he admitted. "So tell me where you've been and what's been happening..."
"Have you still got Meatlug, your British Bulldog?" Heather asked him eagerly. "She was such a sweetie..." Fishlegs's face lit up happily.
"Oh, she's still going strong!" he said eagerly. "Have you still got Windshear, your Wimeraner?" Heather nodded eagerly.
"She's had puppies recently," she said eagerly. "You've gotta come round and see them-they are so cute! And Windshear will love to see her friend..." Astrid stared at her friend, shocked that Heather was back and Heather turned her welcoming green gaze on her friend. "And you need to come too. Bring Stormfly! I know she'll enjoy the company..."
"So are you back in Berk now?" Astrid checked. "Last I heard you'd headed over to Berserk..." Heather grinned.
"We came back three weeks ago-and I didn't know you were here," she admitted. "I stopped by your parents' house but there was clearly a new family living there and I didn't have any contact details..."
"Yeah...I lost my phone on Graduation when Tuffnut baked it in a Yak Wellington..." Astrid explained and Heather burst out laughing.
"I'm not even going to ask why," she giggled, her hand finding Astrid's. "Oh, I've missed you..." The blonde sighed.
"Me too..." she admitted.
Hiccup, meanwhile, was talking in a low voice to the other buff figure, who Astrid recognised as Heather's older brother, Dagur. Dagur had been wild when they were younger but he was just turning his life around when Heather had vanished from High School-presumably when their parents passed-and she wondered why he was here-and why he was talking so animatedly to Hiccup. So she strained her ears and listened harder.
"Are you sure, brother?" Dagur asked and Hiccup nodded.
"Eret has been making eyes at Astrid and I think it's disrespectful and downright creepy," he said. "He's also flirted with three female servers and slipped one his cell number! Especially since he's out with Astrid's friend Ruffnut..."
"Who also seems to be out with Fishlegs and Snothat?" Dagur frowned and Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"You noticed, huh?" he said self-consciously. "Look, I think Fish will be far better off with your sister and, if I read things correctly, I think Snotlout is of more interest to Tuff than Ruff." Dagur clapped him on the shoulder, almost knocking him sideways.
"Really? You know, you can never tell," he chuckled, draping an arm around Hiccup's shoulders. "Okay...I can keep an eye on Eret and make sure he keeps his eyes front and centre..."
"E-squared! My old mate!"
Everyone looked up at the brash voice that sounded loudly as a buff, black-haired handsome shape sauntered up to Eret's table. Astrid froze and looked up as Snotlout's head popped up over his plant and Fishlegs turned round as well. Hiccup watched Astrid's face fold into a scowl and his own breath hitched as he saw the blonde shape sashaying along at the stranger's side. They stopped by the table where Ruffnut and Eret were leaning towards one another, sharing the romantic champagne and raspberry sundae dessert. Two pairs of eyes widened as Eret romantically spooned a raspberry into her mouth.
"RUFFNUT?" Fishlegs and Snotlout said together and then they shared a glance. "SHE'S OUT WITH YOU TOO?"
"Oops," Rufflut slurred.
"Baby-what are you doing with him?" Snotlout asked, his voice trembling. "I mean, when you have this perfect specimen, how could you..."
"You were seeing him and him as well as me?" Fishlegs asked in a hurt voice as Ruffnut stumbled to her feet, swaying slightly.
"Yeah...sorry..." she mumbled and drained her glass, then winked at Eret. "Howzabout it, lover-boy?" Eret stared at her-then shoved her back.
"You think I'd go out with a cheating tramp who's three-timing me while pretending to be so in love with me?" he sneered. She stumbled and collapsed into her chair, blinking.
"But...I really like you..." she said in a confused voice. "And okay, I like the others...just not as much as you...but I didn't want to turn anyone down...and...I like you..."
"As if..." he sneered, his expression superior. "I mean, how desperate are you? I'm insulted you would even think that I..."
"You were making eyes at me, winking and inviting me to hook up later, you lying two-faced slime!" Astrid snarled, surging forward and shoving him back. "Yes, she was cheating on...well, everyone...but so are you!"
"What's the matter, honey-not getting any?" Eret sneered.
"I doubt it," the newcomer said, his face superior. "Not since I dumped her..." Shaking with anger, Astrid glared at the shape of her former boyfriend, Theodore 'Thuggory' Carnaby and Eret's former team-mate on the Football team. She stared at him in a rage, then grabbed Hiccup, pulled him forward and kissed him hard. For a second, he almost forgot to breathe-and then his hand gently cupped her cheek and he kissed her back until they both broke apart, breathing hard. Defiantly, Astrid looked up at Thuggory.
"As you can see, I am perfectly well served in that department, thank you," she said smugly, seeing him scowl.
"HENRY! What on MIDGARD are you doing?" The blonde shape in the skintight gold satin dress at Thuggery's side was almost puce with rage, her fists balled as Hiccup lifted his green eyes and stared flatly into her blue gaze.
"Hi, Camilla," he said tonelessly. "Don't see what you have to complain about. You dumped me in the summer when I came home as Dad was ill. And not a word since. I mean, I know my email, my Instagram and my phone all work so it isn't that...and with you here with him, I can guess you forgot every promise you made about 'still being friends' and upgraded."
"But..." she protested, outraged at his very direct and accurate summation of her actions. He frowned.
"Sorry-am I supposed to be sitting at home, moping over you while you are out with your new boyfriend, having a romantic Valentine's Day?" he asked her sarcastically. "I am lucky to be here with an old friend and a friend I haven't seen for almost ten years. With an amazing, sexy, beautiful woman who has given me the best date I have ever had-and that includes every single one with you!"
"Sorry-are you talking about Astrid?" Thuggory said in such a disparaging voice that Hiccup felt his temper rising. He was generally a very placid and decent guy but the way the man talked about Astrid-who had clearly been very much the innocent and wounded party in their break up-made him want to shove those sneering words down his throat. He took a deep breath.
"I'm hardly referring to Camilla-or Ruffnut," he said sarcastically. "Sorry, I must be using words which are too long for you..." Astrid stared at him, hearing the edge to his voice.
"You do know she was mine before I realised she wasn't worth it?" Thuggory taunted him. "I mean, she was a dumb blonde, Homecoming Queen yadda yadda and pathetically followed me to College. Helheim-she dropped out of her course when I told her that there were better options than some nobody from Berk..." Astrid stiffened and Ruff lurched to her feet. She grabbed the half-eaten pudding and threw it in his face.
"Your two-faced worm," she slurred. "You said Astrid was your heart and soulmate at Graduation..." Her legs collapsed and she slumped back into the chair again.
"And I realised my mistake," Thuggory smirked. "Big College Football star here! And she's nothing, just a small town wannabe..." Before he could even close his mouth, a fist crashed into his face, slamming him back into the table and flipping him backwards. Astrid stared, open-mouthed as Hiccup stood, his fist balled and glaring at the felled Football Star.
"You know, she is NOT nothing!" he snapped. "She's a generous, decent, clever, beautiful woman who is here to support her friend, even though she doesn't approve of what she is doing! And even then, she's being kind to a guy whose girl dumped him and another who's being two-timed! She's worth far more than you ever will be...not in transient and ephemeral fame but in things that actually matter!"
"Oooh! Hiccup likes the loser!" Camilla sneered, her pretty face twisted in a scornful expression. "I bet you like being back in backwater Berk rather than Dragon Island..."
"Hey!" Fishlegs said, advancing, as Eret shoved Hiccup back.
"You wanna make something of this, skinny?" he sneered. The auburn-haired man glared back.
"Well, you were flirting with Astrid-who's out with me- before Ruff arrived and even while she was sitting opposite you at the table!" Hiccup retorted.
"What?" Ruff whined. "Awww...and you were so cute..." She grabbed his drink and necked the lot. "And I wasted my pudding on-on him...when I could have thrown it at you..." Fishlegs twisted and then handed her his dish.
"Be my guest!" he invited her as she grinned and lobbed it straight into Eret's face. He swore.
"Hey-keep out of this, fatboy!" he sneered at Fishlegs. "I mean-how deluded are you? That Ruff would want some lard-bag like you when he could have this perfection..." Eyes widening in hurt, Fishlegs stared at him as a stocky shape came flying in and tackled Eret to the ground!
"Apart from the fact I'm perfection," Snotlout growled, punching Eret, "Fish is my friend and he's sensitive about his weight and he's three times the person you are!"
"Literally," Camilla sneered as Heather came flying in and slapped her.
"How dare you?" she growled as Camilla lunged at her, hands digging into her hair. There was a second of wrestling and scuffling before they topped over, knocking the drunken Ruff off her chair.
"Hey! And ow!"
Hiccup staggered back as the brawling females rolled and clawed at one another-just as Thuggory jumped him, carrying him to the ground. Pinned, he saw Thuggery's elbow catch Ruff across the face and she yelped.
"Get off my sister!" Tuff shouted dramatically and threw himself on Thuggory as the Footballer threw Snotlout off-straight into Fishlegs. The two would-be suitors went down like skittles and tried to scramble off one another while Thuggery tossed Tuff into a neighbouring table, where he stole their pudding. As he turned, he held Hiccup down and cocked his fist to hit him as shouts of 'Get off my pudding!" rang out. Cringing, the auburn-haired man writhed without success under a man twice his width and much heavier-and then, with a shriek, Astrid slammed into Thuggory, punching him twice in the face and kicking him for good measure, managing to knock him off Hiccup. As Thuggory shook his head, she threw herself onto his shoulders and tried to wrestle him to the ground.
"You rat-eating yak-loving munge-bucket son of a fat half-troll!" she yelled at the top of her voice, managing to land a punch on his ear. He staggered. "Leave him alone!" He grabbed at her and managed to throw her off. She staggered and landed on her butt by Hiccup and made to scramble up-but he caught her hand gently and shook his head.
"He's not worth it," he murmured as she scowled.
"But he attacked you and he dumped me and..." she protested but he smiled.
"I think I may have attacked him," he reminded her with a smirk, taking her hand as Thuggory gave a scornful laugh.
"You're welcome to that whiny loser!" he sneered. "I mean...you're a skinny nobody as well so who cares?-while I'm going Professional and..."
"No one tries to hit my brother!" came a wrathful voice and a very buff shape threw himself on Thuggory, his cropped red hair picked out by the candlelight as he flattened the footballer. They crashed into a neighbouring table, spraying oysters over the couple trying to enjoy a quiet romantic meal. Eret punched Tuffnut and Ruff looked up as her brother slammed to the floor by her. Her face twisted into an expression of rage.
"Thorston blood feud!" she roared and grabbed a bottle of champagne, cracking it over Eret's head. The buff man looked at her in shock-and then folded. She glared at him. "Consider yourself dumped!" she announced smugly. Fishlegs looked over at her and then grabbed Heather, who had a bloody nose but was beating up Camilla. He pulled her back and lifted her away, then looked over at the female twin.
"Ruffnut," he said quietly. "I think you know what I have to say." Ruff frowned.
"You're ordering me another pudding?" she asked hopefully, above the sounds of smashing tables, chairs and crockery as Thuggory and Dagur continued fighting. He shook his head.
"Astrid was right-I deserve better," he said and smiled. "What you did was selfish and mean, Ruff-when being honest would have been the decent thing to do. So we're off. You're dumped. I want to go out with someone who actually wants to be my friend, who likes the same things as me and who wants to be with me. And I think I've found her." Ruff opened her mouth...and then shrugged.
"Sorry," she said as Heather stopped struggling and stared at him.
"Felix?" she murmured as the husky young man smiled, releasing her.
"You know-I think a Valentine's meal is overrated," he said cheerfully. "How about Viking Drive-Through? I think 'Gobber's Yak Chops and Ribs' is still open..." Heather grinned and nodded.
"Best offer I've had all evening," she said and grabbed his hand. "Let's get out of here!" Ruff staggered round...to see Snotlout tenderly slapping Tuff's cheek to try to wake him up. The stocky man looked up.
"This is just too weird," he said drunkenly. "Tuff-are you alright, buddy?"
Suddenly, the male twin sat up and hugged Snotlout.
"I'll take that as a yes," Snotlout commented and looked up at Ruff. "I think...you may not be the Nut I'm meant for..."
"And that's even worse," the female twin sighed, sitting down on the only chair still upright. "Dumped for my own brother. Thor, I'll never live this down..."
Thuggory and Dagur crashed through, flattening them all again as a voice boomed through the Hall.
"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" Everyone froze, recognising the commanding voice and thick brogue of Mayor Stoick. The huge man, close to seven feel tall and four hundred pounds of muscle and sinew, loomed out of the chaos, flanked by a dozen Berk Police Officers. The leading officer, Captain Hoark, scowled at them.
"You're all under arrest for causing an affray," he announced as Hiccup and Astrid shared a look-and then burst out laughing. The Mayor glanced at them, seeing them sitting side by side on the floor, hands still clasped.
"Hiccup?' he murmured. "Son?" Astrid blinked.
"That's your Dad?" she asked him in shock.
"Oh Gods," Hiccup muttered in an embarrassed voice. "Um...yeah. How many Haddocks do you think there are in Berk?" Astrid smirked.
"Depends if the fleet has been in recently," she teased him.
"And everyone's a joker," he grumbled. "Um...yes, that's my Dad...and I would be grateful if you didn't tell anyone what I told you about him..." The plea was in his emerald eyes and she nodded, squeezing his hand reassuringly.
"You have my promise," she said honestly. "But you pay for the pizzas." He grinned.
"Fair enough," he conceded as the police began to round them all up-including the drunken and whining Ruffnut, the hugging Heather and Fishlegs, the dazed Tuff and Snotlout and the still-fighting Thuggory and Dagur. "You know, I'm not sure I can guarantee all my dates are going to be this exciting..." She smiled.
"I'll take any dates," she admitted, "but preferably with pizza, Netflix and a decent series to binge-watch..." He winked.
"It's a date," he said.
oOo
February 15th was cold, grey and dreary and Astrid arrived at work hung over, exhausted and lightly bruised from the fight. And somehow, secretly, pleased that someone had stood up for her. She smiled as she walked into the back office and took off her scarf, hat and coat and pulled on her bright green uniform, recalling the moment when Hiccup had punched Thuggory basically for her. It was probably the insanity gas or the moment but it had made her feel wanted once more-and that had made her day. Though admittedly the brawl afterwards and the fact they had all been hauled off to Berk Police Station afterwards had dampened her enthusiasm.
She logged into the cash register and realised that the store was light one pair of Thorston twins so she tidied up, served the first few customers and thought about texting Ruffnut-when Mulch walked up to her, his usual amiable smile lighting the little man's face.
"I hear it was an interesting evening at the Great Hall last night," he said cheerfully and Astrid nodded absently. "And I take it we won't be seeing Ruffnut this morning either?"
"I suspect not," Astrid admitted. "I mean she had far too much to drink, got into a brawl and I think she was dumped by three boyfriends all at once." Mulch chuckled.
"You know, I am sure that everyone in Berk knows that," he assured her with a twinkle in his eye and Astrid face-palmed.
"I would say 'poor Ruff' but I think we both know, deep down, she probably deserves it," she admitted as the little man chuckled.
"You're on a half day today, aren't you?" He checked and she sighed.
"I guess you want me to stay all day to make up for the lack of Thorstons?" she guessed but the little man shook her head.
"Strangely no-because I have a new employee," he said and stood aside-to reveal the familiar shape of Heather. Astrid gaped and then gave a small squeal of delight.
"Heather! You're working here? But when? How?" she stammered as her friend walked up and hugged her.
"Fish mentioned you worked here so I rang in first thing and Mr Mulch hired me over the phone," she revealed. "And Dagur-though he's out the back unloading the grain shipment..."
"And it's just Mulch," the man told her cheerily. "I'm sure Astrid can show you the ropes...and she'll still be able to get her half day..." The blonde smiled as her friend glanced around the large space.
"So...Mulch's Pet Depot..." Heather began conversationally. "What do they cater for?" Astrid smiled.
"Everything-from fish to yaks with everything furry, slimy or scaly in between..." she explained. "I mean, the twins normally work here as well but I guess they're both nursing sore heads..."
"Ruff certainly will be but I saw Tuff chatting to Snotlout down Lars's Diner earlier," she revealed. "And Fish has asked me out this evening!" Smiling at the news, Astrid gestured to the till and began to explain how things worked until a polite cough sounded.
"Excuse me," a high-pitched voice said in a thick Berkian accent. "Are you Astrid Hofferson?"
Looking up, Astrid saw a bald man with jug ears and a flamboyant dark blonde handlebar moustache. She smiled. "Yes, I am," she said cheerfully, "Can I help you?" He grinned.
"My name is Sven," he said and she stared at him in utter shock.
"S-silent Sven?" she managed and he smiled.
"Not quite," he admitted. "I just never have the heart to interrupt your friend Raquel when she's in full flow..." Astrid's jaw dropped.
"You-you know all about her?" he gabbled as the man gave a smile.
"Mulch is one of my best friends," he told her cheerfully. "And he is very fond of you, Astrid. So when he told me about something that happened yesterday, I felt I had to come." He lifted a cardboard box and placed it gently on the counter. Carefully, he opened it and revealed a small fluffy black kitten with large bright green eyes and big pricked ears.
"Oooh. He's so cute," Astrid said, unable to stop herself.
"He's the last," he said sadly. "His Mom and siblings were killed by my eight sheepdogs but I was able to rescue this little fella. He's got an injured paw but he's a really friendly kitten and he needs a home. I heard you were looking for a kitten?" She lifted the soft, warm little body and stared into he big green eyes. The kitten purred and little paws with tiny claws gently patted at her wrists. And then she smiled.
"I was...because I know the perfect home for him," she said, glancing over to Heather. The raven-haired girl smiled.
"Go get him, girl!" she said.
oOo
She had checked her dark blue dress three times and adjusted her hair in its braid before she adjusted the box and the bag she brought. "Easy, Astrid-it's only a date...after two years of nothing..." she murmured before she walked to the door and knocked smartly on the green door. There was a thud and then a muffled curse before it opened and Hiccup appeared, his hair slightly wild.
"Oh...you're early..." he said, very discomposed. He was in skinny black jeans, green casual shirt and black converse and though there was an obvious bruise on his cheek from the previous night, his eyes were grateful she had even come.
As if she wouldn't! He was the best thing that had happened to her for...years! And she had only reconnected with him two days earlier!
She smiled as he ran his hands through his hair, inviting her into a modern, ordered space and hurriedly trying to shuffle his college work off the dining table and into his sagging bag. "Please, take a seat..." He gestured towards the homely brown leather couch and the flatscreen TV perched above the fireplace. She smiled and leaned forward, pressing a small kiss of his cheek.
"Hiccup," she said gently, calming him instantly, "I wanted to thank you for an amazing date."
"It was a catastrophe,"he admitted with a grimace but she grinned.
"No-it was amazing-because I got to spend it with you," she told him and he started. "The most kind, generous, amazing man who stood up to Eret and Thuggory for me. And I thought I ought to get you something by way of thanks that you can really enjoy..." She paused and handed him the bag. Frowning, he opened the bag-to find a box of 'Bucket's Patented Kitten Food'. His eyes widened.
"To be honest, I was hoping maybe for drinks or garlic bread," he admitted as she sniggered, then handed him the large box. He felt it shift and his eyes widened-and then he opened it to reveal the adorable black kitten, his thick fluffy tail as puffed up as it could be. Hiccup gasped and a smile lit his handsome face, carefully balancing it so he could use his other hand to offer to the cat to smell-and then gently stroke the kitten under his velvety chin. A little purr rumbled through the small body and he gave a tiny mew, revealing gaps in his teeth.
"He was rescued from being killed by Not-Really-Silent Sven's dogs and he had his leg injured and lost half his teeth before he could be snatched away," Astrid explained. "But he's healthy and very friendly...and I know that you will be the best owner he could have..." He looked up at her and blinked, lifting the little purring body against his chest, staring adoringly into the big green eyes.
"Toothless, eh?" he murmured and then he smiled. "Thank you, Astrid. This is...amazing. It's...beyond words..." She came to stand in front of him and saw his eyes shining with happiness.
"You owe me pizza," she reminded him. "And a date. Preferably one completely devoid of Thorstons, multiple boyfriends and expensive meals."
"Will one boyfriend and cheap pizza do?" he asked her hesitantly as she smiled and felt his warm hand close on hers. "Um...if you're not completely off boyfriends forever..." She smiled.
"Only cheating miserable lying double-crossing self-important asses," she told him candidly and he gave an exaggerated sigh of relief.
"Oh, thank Thor!" he said. "Nope-not me. And as long as I don't get a girlfriend who is self-centred, lying and faithless..."
"Nope...I know someone like that but that's not me," she assured him. He smiled.
"Then will you be my girlfriend, Astrid?" he asked her and she gave a small smile, stretching up to kiss him. "Will you go out with me?"
"I would love to," she agreed and stroked the purring Toothless. "But I thought we were staying in?"
"Then will you stay in with me?" he asked her with a smile. She squeezed his hand.
"Babe-I would love to," she smiled. "Happy belated Valentine's Day, Hiccup." He leaned in and kissed her again and Toothless purred against his chest.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Milady."