"You're not staying to celebrate?" Juan asked as I was about to leave the room.
I shook my head no. "Got stuff to do with the band tomorrow morning." Of course I'm lying. How can I celebrate the death of my friend's brother? Especially when I was the one that killed him?
"Don't forget that need some stitches." Juan said, pointing at the cut on my arms that was caused by the bullet just now. He gave me a business card of a vet. Great now I'm an injured chihuahua.
I accept the card and ride myself to the address written. The building was quiet, of course it was, no one visits the vet at midnight. Just as if he knew, the vet opened the door before I knocked on it.
Luckily for me, the bullet just went through my skin and not buried inside my flesh. The vet done his job on my wound and tell me I'm good to go.
I can't go back to my house. And I don't want to scare Isabella with my blood stained shirt. I'm going somewhere else. Just to calm this mess in my head. I'll talk to my first love.
I find myself in this garden of stones again. After a few steps I stood on my knees in front of her stone. Again. "I just did something really bad, Cami." I speak out. To the dead inside.
She wasn't here but I felt calm just to imagine she's listening to me. I fixed my position and bury my face on my knees, with my hands in my hair on the back of my head.
I know it's crazy, but I'll never forget Cami. I've shared everything with her. She's the first person I've been truly in love with. Mi primavera.
"You came to meet me again, my love." I heard her faint voice again but I didn't raised my face to look at where the voice came from.
"Cami, I've killed someone.. "
"Not like you've never try it before." of course I've attempted to do it before. I've told Camila about it. Only this time, it truly succeed.
"But this person I just killed, I know his family." I started to tear up. How do I face Joel after this?
The ghost went silent. I raised up my head and I saw her lucid image, sitting beside me with the wind blowing her silky hair.
"You're still the soft-centered hard candy, Erick." she said with a hint of smile on her face.
(flashback)
I waited for Camila in front of her aunt's house. I'll never get in, her aunt hates me. She came out minutes later smiling at me so beautifully.
I let her to get behind me on my bike, and take her hands so that she had her arms around me. I'm taking her to the beach.
We sat down on the sand, while I'm staring at the night sky. "Something is wrong." she sensed it. "Tell me about it." she ran her fingers in my hair.
"You know my job, right?"
Cami nodded her head.
"There's a boy. He has been my customer for a while now. But somehow last week he didn't have that much money with him. I let him use my money first because I know him, and asked him to pay me back tonight. But Juan warned me not to let him do that again. But tonight he came to me with the same excuse, so Juan told me to teach him. I hit him hard before I left him alone in the cold. And now I feel bad. He's just a kid."
Cami smiled as she hugged me and rest her chin on my shoulder. "You know what, baby? You're a hard candy. With a sweet, soft center." she softly whispered to me.
I chuckled at her comment. "What does that even mean?" I said, making it sounds like she just said something ridiculous.
"You know, you act all dangerous, full of rage and hard outside, but deep inside," she poked her finger on my chest. "You're a soft, sweet fillings."
"And you're the only one that noticed that." I kissed her lips. She knew me too well. There's nothing that she didn't know about me. I don't mind sharing everything with her, knowing that she won't judge me.
[back to current time]
"I'm your hard candy" I smiled. "And you're my primavera." I can never forget the memories we had together. If only I can touch her right now. I'm dying to feel those soft hands comforting me like the old days.
"Not anymore. Learn to forgive yourself, mi amor." her voice getting dimmer, it's like the wind blew her away too.
Slowly her image started to diminish, like a smoke carried away in the air. "No, don't leave me again." I cried silently as she's completely out of my sight. "I miss you." I whispered in the dead air.
I was still crying on her gravestone when my phone vibrated with my ringtone in my pocket. The screen showed Joel's ID.
My hands are all sweat just to hit answer. "Hey, Joel." I tried to hide my shaking voice.
"I've just lost him, Erick. My brother just died." he said. I can hear he's trying not to cry.
I'm sobbing too. I felt so guilty right now. "God, I'm so sorry, Joel." my voice breaks. I'm really sorry.
"If it wasn't for you that told me to let him talk, I might not have a chance to meet him for the last time." he paused for a while "Wait, bro, where are you? Why are you crying?" he sounds concerned.
Because I fucking killed your brother and now you tell me about it. "I'm at Camila's grave."
"That explains everything. Well I'll talk to you later. There's a lot to handle here. I haven't told my mom about it yet. And Erick, please don't stay there for too long." he said before we both hung up on each other.
I put my phone back in my pocket with a deep sigh from my lungs. "I'll come back later" I said before I leave Camila's grave. There'll never be a day in my life that I don't have a hard feeling in my chest.