Katya Zamolodchikova/Brian McCook📀📡
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Texting Brian is always quite the adventure. You never really know what he might send you, and that always proves to be equally entertaining and terrifying.
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"Does this picture make me look stoned and desperate for your love? .. Because I'm really stoned and desperate for your love."
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"Are you attracted to me now, Barbara?!"
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"Hello Kukla, sending all my love! Raja is keeping me company. She smells like Versace perfume, the sweat of a winner, and hairspray."
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"Mother, Tracy and I have been showing of our nipples to the public for spare change.. Again.."
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"Okay, SERIOUSLY. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much! And so does Cheryl 🐾 We will be home soon, and I can't wait to smother you with my love until you need space. YA tak tebya lyublyu, malysh!! 💕💋💋"
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"This dumpster fire can clean up into a nice looking recycling receptacle sometimes.. 🚮♻"
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"Okay, question here. Let's say that I decided to superglue this wig onto my head, and change my name Shelley DuVall.. Would you still love me?"
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"Bonjour lover, this is your boyfriend/girlfriend/All natural beauty/garbage can sending you your reminder that you have an appointment to sit on my face coming up. To confirm reply with, 'I'm ready for the rake, mom'."
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"Send help💨💨💨💨💨💨💨"
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"Does this turn you on? We could roleplay with this. I can be the sick dying patient, and then I die.. Wait, that's not right, is it?"
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"Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you always, Linda💕"
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"This is what all natural beauty looks like without a stitch of makeup on! Hold your applause. You can show your gratitude by sending me a care package filled with smokes and a copy of The Communist Manifesto"
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"So, this photo is actually supposed to turn you on!"
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"The existential dread is setting in that this tour seems never-ending."
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"I'm getting sharp objects punched through my earlobe, so I can wear pieces of metal in there to appease to the dark lord, Voldemort 👿"
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"Sending a lot of sloppy, disgusting kisses your way. I love youuu, kukla!💋💦💦💦"
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"советский гимн не будет единственным русским, о котором вы сегодня будете кричать"
(The Soviet anthem will not be the only Russian you're screaming tonight.)