찢어진 종잇조각에
담아낸 나의 진심에
선명해져 somethin' bout you
On a ripped piece of paper
I wrote down how I really feel
And it gets clear, somethin' bout you
ーSoundtrack: Fine, Taeyeon
ONE
I stared at him, a smile plastered on my face. We've known each other for quite a while now, exactly a year ago and was also the month of March when we first met.
I was heartbroken and he found me crying in the parking lot, inside my car. I don't even know him but he reached out to me. He was a stranger with two beautiful autumn leaves eyes, his dimples were shown by the sympathetic quick smile when he asked me if I was okay?
It was a blur. I never intended to stare at him and smile.
But, he smiled back
and everything has changed.
It was him that warms my heart from the freezing heartbreak that I went through on that spring season.
After comforting me, we exchanged numbers and basically became good friends.
I was quietly studying his features when he caught me staring, so he did the same at me.
"Staring is rude, Jisoo."
I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling.
"You did it first."
I shrugged and looked away but I can still feel his eyes on me. So I look back again at him and laugh.
Fun fact.
I always gave him a chuckle or a timid smile, every time
I caught him staring at me.
But the weird part is?
he stares at me even more.
It turns out we were schoolmates. I just don't see him quite a lot at school because we don't have the same department.
I'm taking theatre arts whilst him, on the other hand, is taking an educational course that majored in English.
"Are you okay? You seem off."
I snapped a finger in front of his face, waking him from his train of thoughts.
"I just don't understand why?"
He frustratingly ran his fingers through his hair, groaning in the process.
All I did was to stare at him, as I reached for his other hand.
"Hey, it's okay. Tell me what happened?"
We're at the coffee shop near the university, it's our usual hangout place when we both have the same free time.
He may be not my best friend but we both understand and comfort one another. We also have a different circle of friends but we never fail to see each other twice or thrice a week just to talk about life or anything particular at the moment.
Yes, we're close but not that close enough to be super close. You see, He and I? We knew our limits and we tend to keep it that way to avoid complicated things to happen.
He looked up to me as I gave him an assuring warm smile. He and I were always been like this, it's either he's the one who's comforting me? Or I'm the one who's comforting him.
My friends keep asking me if we're dating each other, oh how I wished. But unfortunately, he likes someone else and I'm just a friend.
"You know that I like Ailee right?"
Oh yes, that tall beautiful girl who's a friend of yours. I nodded and keep an artificial smile.
"What kind of question is that? Of course, I knew you like her. You've been telling me stuffs about you guys for almost a year now."
I playfully rolled my eyes and teased him to softened the mood, which is effective because he finally smiled as he shakes his head.
Well, it's easy to joke around, to pretend like it was all nothing to you, like the fool you've always been for the sake of love! But guess what it's hard? It was the part that you can't change the fact that you fell for someone who is already in love with somebody else.
"Well, you also probably knew that I've been giving hints about what I feel towards her."
"Uh-huh."
"I just don't understand why is she still oblivious about it. This is harder than I thought, Jisoo."
He sighed, then he continued again to rant about her whilst I went back to admire his features.
I started crushing him last summer, Kim Namjoon is the perfect combination of coffee dates in the afternoon and the stars you look up in the sky at exactly 2 am.
He's got that light tanned skin adonis look going on, dark brown eyes like the autumn itself that when you stare long enough at them, it makes your knees go weak.
But the most beautiful thing about him, comes from deep within. He's not those stereotype bad boys that most girls like about but he's the type of a guy that most women prayed to have; it makes me want to feel how his lips move in a kiss, how his hands follow the curves of my body.
"I don't understand you too."
"What?"
"I mean if you really like her that much and she still doesn't get it? You have one thing left to do."
I crossed my legs and take my cup of coffee with me as I leaned on my chair. His eyes screamed confusion and it's cute but I put my feelings and emotions aside as I blurted the words that will hurt me more.
That will make me fit the title of 'the most martyr girl of the century.'
"Confess to her."
Yes, Jisoo. You're doing great honey.
You just made yourself forever stuck in the 'friend-zone' lane.