[tw: brief panic attacks + EXTREME ANGST whoops lol sorry bout it]
THE NIGHT ERUPTED INTO FULL-TILT MADNESS. ROARS FOR OUR CAPTURE AND OUR HEADS ON STICKS, CRIED OF "REBEL SCUM!" ECHOING THROUGHOUT EVERY ALLEYWAY.
We had managed to slip away, but that luck was slowly trickling out and we weren’t willing to press it much more. In our mad dash for freedom under the cover of smoke, we had ducked into what appeared to be an abandoned servants’ tower, a nook of the castle hidden away coiling with a spiral staircase. I slammed the door behind me desperately, my fingers fumbling to lock it. I heard a beep emitting from my midsection and I released Beebee routinely, as if on command at this point. The orange droid tumbled on out eagerly, whirring around the otherwise-silent room with nervous, pent-up energy.
I was thankful for the otherwise silence, because gratefully that meant that it appeared that no one had followed us. However, I could hear the shouts from the outside and I knew that one of the hundreds of hunters set on our trail eventually would; we needed to use our time warranted with our headstart wisely.
I looked over at Alya, who had collapsed against the wall gasping for air and massaging her temple in an effort to stop the overdrive gears in her spinning mind. A cut bled down her cheek, presumably from where a bounty hunter had pressed a blade tantalizingly to her skin. The young girl slid down to her knees, blinking emptily as she looked up at me in a daze. Her innocent brown doe eyes looked just the same as I had remembered.
How ironic, that this was their true princess, and those people were out there calling to see her head roll off of her pretty neck.
“Y-you good?” she asked me, voice trembling.
I nodded in my distraction, eyes darting around the room until they rested on the quaint wooden servant wardrobes in the corner of the room. I removed the mustache from my lip and discarded it, thinking out loud as I walked. “We should get changed out of this gear and the disguises, or we’ll be recognized too easily.” I said, moving clumsily to rifle to through the dresser. I fumbled with the Poyterian servants’ garb awkwardly. “You?” I then asked offhandedly, peeling off my armor and replacing it with humble brown fabric.
When Alya didn’t respond, my head raised to ask again, perhaps louder, because perhaps she did not hear me. But when I looked up, I saw the same fear in her eyes that had been in mine so many nights ago on Uma’s rooftop, and I knew instantly that something was wrong.
“Hey, hey, hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong,” I softened at once, my voice dropping to a calming baritone as I approached the shaking girl. Her chest movements quickened like that of a small mammal’s, short, brief breaths of air to her lungs.
“I-I’m fine,” managed Alya. A weak lie, and I knew it. She suddenly avoided my gaze, massaging her temples as the truth tumbled out. “P-Poe, it’s just... “ She bit her lip. “I knew him.”
“What?” I inquired breathlessly. “Dengar?”
She nodded quite furiously, eyes screwed shut. “I remember him, Poe,” she confessed, looking stone cold and trembling. “I knew him,” the princess insisted, “I remember him!” Her face suddenly fell more, twisting further into doubt and confusion. “..But I don’t remember how. I’ve only heard stories of Dengar from Sabik and Uma, I’ve never actually seen his face. Most days he doesn’t come off his throne. He just… He just.. I knew him. As soon as I saw him, I got a vision, what seemed to be a memory..” Her beautiful, freckled face contorted painfully and she had to choke back her tears. “..Of someone’s head splattering to the ground. Sh-she looked just like me.”
I wasn’t sure in that moment whether I was to hold her or not. I was paralyzed, completely numb in my entire body as the information seeped in. My heart pounded, blood throbbing in my eardrums as my mind tried to process this.
Sza’s words echoed in my memory.
“Because… She’s the princess.”
Another memory too, this one more fresh, of the way Alya’s fingertips twitched over the Queen Lyra’s name, the way her eyes glazed over the cracked statue, stirring the familiarity within her that she barely even knew existed anymore.
I knew instantly that Alya must have seen the decapitated head of her mother.
I didn’t know if I was to hold her or not. Somehow, I had all of the answers to give this girl, the one who weeped for a mother she did not even know, tormented with visions of the past that she believed did not even belong to her. Not her, the meek hermit girl with thick lab glasses and puffed-out curls. I had all of the answers to give her, to soothe her soul, and I ached to, how I ached to tell her, but I didn’t. Due to what she said in the gentle, breathless moments following.
She collapsed into my arms anyway, convulsing as her chest heaved. She gripped my shirt for dear life. It was as if I was the only thing grounding her to reality amidst this crazy world we found ourselves in. She buried her face into my chest and her tears stained my shirt, though I didn’t care. I held her back anyway, tighter still, desperately hoping to still her breaths.
Gently, as they soon did, I reached my hands down to touch her head, tilting it up at me. Her face was red, her eyes too. And I held her face in my hands, stroking her warm blossomingly red cheek with my thumb. She curled her head to nuzzle my hand, blinking out tears still.
“P-Poe,” She gasped, “H-How do you think the two from the caves even got in?”
I looked aside, having no right answer to give her. “I-I don’t know, Alya, I’m sorry.”
The young girl’s bottom lip quivered, threatening further panic. Her voice was like tremolo, pitching, peaking, falling, uncertain with emotion as more thoughts flooded in. “They… Th-Th-They… you don’t suppose grandmother is okay, do you??”
My brow set. Another question with no right answer, but her eyes pleaded for one. I remembered the promise I had made her Grandmother and I knew whether she was alive or dead, I had to honor it.
“Shh, shh, I’m sure she’s alright, Alya.” I whispered. “She’s a brilliant woman, she’s able to take care of herself. You said it yourself once, though it seems so long ago, you told me, ‘she’s more knowledgeable than I could ever dream of.’ You’re right, you know. And somehow, I think you would have felt it if she were gone. You love her so much, and-”
Her eyes flashed sadly at me. Her voice was but a flicker. “She’s all I have, Poe.”
“-You would have felt it.” I finished. My dark eyelashes kissed my cheek as I studied every freckle on her face, concentrating, her presence grounding me. Once more, I traced a familiar line down her cheek with the pad of my thumb. “The universe has a funny way of doing that, you know.” I murmured. “I’ve lost a lot of people that I love, but they’re not always gone. Their bodies might be, but they’re not. They’re luminous, and you would’ve felt it.”
“‘Luminous?’” repeated Alya, sniffing and wiping her tears. “I-I like the sound of that.”
I smiled softly, weakly, as admiration swelled my heart. “I’m glad,” I said, murmuring, “but what I need you to do right now is focus. I need you to take care of your own self, not worry about the buts and what-ifs. I know you can, ‘cause you remind me that you can all the damn time.” -An affectionate chuckle resonated in my throat- “So please, prove it to me now. I know you can do this, Alya, I believe in you. You can do anything you set your mind to.”
Her eyes crinkled, the corners of her mouth tilting up slightly as she gazed up at me with wordless appreciation. “Y-You’re right,” She mumbled out, beginning to nod her head furiously. “There’s no sense in speculating when we don’t know all the facts and there’s a more important task at hand.”
“Yes,” I smirked, “Like maybe not getting killed. Say, let’s regroup and go back to the caves, yeah? I doubt we can return to Uma’s house and live blissfully undercover. We’ve blown that chance right out into the open.”
“But what’ll happen to Uma?”
“Uma will be fine. She told us that if anything turned south, she’d retreat to the caves, remember? Everyone will be fine. Now come on, let’s go.”
Alya had drawn away from my embrace and I had begun to turn away as well, but I was startled to feel her hand grasp mine. My eyes widened, head jerking back to look at her. She only smiled softly at me, emotion shining in those brown doe eyes. She intertwined our fingers together and she pulled back flush against my body.
“Thank you, Poe.” She said quietly, face close enough to mine so that I could feel every breath that left her lips. Delicately, she pushed a curl off of my forehead, drinking in every feature of my face, gaze flickering from the way my brows set, to the confusion in my own brown eyes, all the way down to my chapped, split lips. She committed it all to memory. “Thank you,” said my princess, “Really, truly.. I needed that.”
I only nodded, briefly, curtly, shortly. We were so close, my heart beat so fast and so loud I felt as if she might be able to hear it. But I wasn’t scared. Not this time. I wasn’t recoiling away from how I felt.
I crushed a kiss to her forehead, eyes squeezed tightly shut. I could feel her wrap her arms around me, her body trembling. I placed my hands at her waist, our foreheads tilting to touch together. Both sets of eyes flicked up to one another and we shared a wordless moment, the only sound in the room was the sound of our breaths mingling and the noises of outside. Sirens, shouts, and gunshots brought us back into our unfortunate reality.
My forehead broke away, my focus snapping in alarm to the single window. No intruder, not yet. My lips churned into a frown and I looked back at her. “We’ll talk later, yeah?”
“Will we get the chance to?”
My gaze dropped to the floor for a split-second. No, I wasn’t sure, but I lied anyway. “Yes, yes, of course we will. Sweetheart, trust me, we will.”
She smiled wryly up at me. “Alright,” she said softly in that sweet soprano voice of hers, her cheeks tinged dusty pink as she squeezed my hand, “For once, Dameron, I’ll trust you.”
“That’s my girl,” I laughed slightly. “Always the most faith in me, huh?”
A sudden crash from outside tore us apart and she didn’t get the chance to quip back a response. Alya jolted away and I felt her absence at once, ghosted from my side.
However, our hands still remained entangled with one another, and this time I was the one to squeeze. Just one gentle squeeze, grounding the both of us, reminding her that I was still here and I wasn’t going to be leaving any time soon.
“They must be barricading the castle,” I noted, beginning to move. “C’mon, we should get going if we’re going to make it back to the caves safely.”
She nodded and mumbled in agreement, feet shuffling to follow me to the window. I dropped her hand to climb out, clinging to the stone of the spiral tower as I scaled.
Looking back, I saw Alya’s frizzy curly head stuck out the window. Her lips were pursed; I knew there was so much left to say, but the sirens and chaos ringing in the world around us begged for another, better moment.
I stuck out my hand, and she took it.
“We’ll talk later, yeah?” She told me, feet finding the rock foothold on the tower edge, clutching close to me. A lopsided smile played across my lips when she mimicked my offhanded phrase from before.
“Yeah,” I agreed, trying not to look at the ground nearly a thousand feet below us. Instead, I focused on her, a much preferred alternative. “Another time for sure.”
She softly pressed her lips to my cheek and I felt the rosy color bloom to where her mouth had touched my skin.
“You make that a promise, Dameron.” She whispered, her breath hot on my cheek. “One that you’ll keep.”
“I promise,” I told her firmly, nodding. My hard, determined gaze floated to the horizon beyond, where I knew the safety of the crystal caves lied, where this had all began. “But for now,” I said, “Let’s go back to the start.”
We ran along rooftops, skirting behind chimneys whenever we heard a fire of a blaster, a threaten of capture, a shout or hot, damning laughter. They were everywhere and anywhere in this foul, corrupt town, and we needed to leave. Now.
We were almost to the edge of the wall, ducked behind a turret, crouched together for both secrecy and comfort.
Then I heard a soft whisper, a plea, from the girl beside me.
“Did you say something?” I inquired, biting the inside of my cheek. My gaze didn’t leave the horizon.
“It’s nothing.” She murmured, eyes falling dark. “Just a silly prayer.”
“For who?”
A brief pause. “Sabik.”
My insides churned. Unfortunately, we already knew his fate. No right answer for this, only the horrible, awful truth. “Al-Alya, you know that he’s-”
Her lips turned firmly downward. “I-I know his fate already.” She muttered bitterly, looking up at the sky. “And I don’t know if I even believe this garbage that I’m saying, but I suppose anything helps, right?”
“Yes, of course.” I affirmed, nodding. A grounding squeeze and a jerk of the head forward towards freedom. “Look ahead; we’re almost there, we’re so close. You can do it, come on. Don’t worry about the past right now. Look ahead.”
She didn’t listen. A cacophony of screams and shouts and a noise like fiery hot whip-crack drew her attention to behind her, in the square.
No. We were almost there.
But I could hear the roar of pain as the whip struck, all to familiar of who it was coming from, a shriek of extreme agony. I could hear the shouts for the dirty traitor’s head. Another cry of anguish, and my worst fears were confirmed.
I knew who it belonged to at once.
Sabik.
His shiny red blood from the lashes licked upon his back were visible even from the rooftop.
I forced my gaze ahead, though it was difficult to drown out the young boy’s screams.
“A-Alya,” I urged with a desperate choke. “Please, let’s go, we need to go.”
Her eyes stayed glazed in horror, slack-jawed at the scene in the square. Her hand trembled and I tried to squeeze, but it didn’t work.
“Come on, Alya, please.”
We were almost there.
We were almost there.
We were almost there!
I could see our escape. It tickled our fingertips, touching just out of our reach.
I squeezed again.
“Sweetheart, please,” I pleaded, thicker now with hopelessness and desperation, “Come on.”
Another squeeze.
“Alya, please!”
I jerked my hand, but she stayed frozen over. Her head slowly turned to mine, eyes shining with visible emotion through the red-rimmed edges.
I thought foolishly, for a brief moment, that she had finally learned to listen to me.
But then she jumped, proving me wrong yet again.
•••
A/N:
me, when alya hears sabik and doesn't squeeze back: hoe don't do it
alya: *jumps*
me: oh my god
i just love writing angst.. i'm sorry guys bout that but y'know, it has to happen. just wait for the next one. yeah.. that won't be fun for anyone involved. whoops :))
anywho, hope you enjoyed! please comment and vote if you did, it means the world to writers like me!! ♡♡
xx natalie