Lauren's POV
I began waking up when I felt the sunlight hitting my face through the blinds. I never got sun in my room in the morning which meant we had seriously slept in. Apparently we slept through all our alarms and that never happened to me. I was a morning person whereas Camila was the opposite, so it was understandable that she was dead asleep next to me. She would probably freak out once she realized we had missed 4 hours of morning classes though.
I looked at the girl laying next to me, her exhausted naked body wrapped up in the sheets as she breathed softly. I stroked her cheek tenderly and debated whether or not to wake her up or just let her rest. We had barely gotten any sleep the night before so she was understandably tired. The sunlight made her hair look a lighter shade of brown and her skin look even more of a caramel tone than it already was. My phone brought me out of my trance when it buzzed on my bedside table. Reaching for it, I realized I had a few dozen missed calls and texts from Dinah and Normani asking where we were and if we were going at all today. I also noticed it was almost 1 PM and even if we did decide to go, we would only be able to actually attend about an hour of class, so was it really worth it?
No.
I decided to go back to sleep.
"Lauren, wake up," I felt that heavenly raspy voice and a weight on my stomach. Slowly stirring, I opened my eyes to find Camila looking down at me with her warm brown eyes. "We slept through our alarms," she said urgently and I groaned before shielding my eyes from the sunlight. "Lauren!"
"What? Just give me a second to wake up properly, Jesus," I muttered and rubbed my eyes before opening them again to gaze at the brunette.
"We missed school," Camila concluded and looked worried.
"I know. I woke up at 1–"
"You what?!" Camila interrupted me suddenly and I clearly hadn't been thinking because it was obvious she'd freak out. "Why didn't you wake me? I can't just miss school! My mom is gonna murder me if she finds out. Not if, she'll definitely find out because Sofi will probably tell her–"
I stopped her rambling by cupping her face gently. She had an habit of going on these little rants whenever she was nervous about something and it was cute, but I also didn't want her to have a nervous breakdown. "I didn't wake you because you were tired and because we would barely be able to attend class anyway at that time. And about your parents, just tell Sofia to cover for you, I'm sure she'll do it," I spoke calmly and saw her nodding along.
"Ok. It's all your fault," the brown eyed said and took me by surprise but I could tell she was joking.
"Is that so?" I played along and she nodded while a smile formed on her lips.
"Yes. If I wasn't so tired I would have heard my phone go off," she raised her eyebrows and I chuckled.
"You seemed to be enjoying yourself, though," I teased with a smirk while the cuban blushed mildly.
"I definitely was," she whispered before leaning down and capturing my lips in a kiss. I kissed back fiercely and held her head in place, softly stroking her cheek with my thumb at the same time. I ran my tongue against her bottom lip and she parted her lips, giving me entrave so I could slip my tongue inside her warm mouth. The feelings I got when we kissed were uncanny. Never had kissing been so intense than it was with her, everything with her was all-consuming in a way that it had never been before. She exhaled lightly into the kiss before pulling back slightly.
"Seriously though, are you all rested?" I asked and placed my hands on her thighs instead.
"Yeah, I'm ok. But I need to get home at the same time Sofi does so I better get going," she told me and I pouted.
"I don't want you to leave."
"I don't want to either but I have to," Camila cupped my face now and looked deeply into my green eyes.
"When do we see eachother again?"
"At school?"
I sighed, "No, I mean like this. When will we actually have time for ourselves?"
"I don't know, Laur. We'll find a way, ok? I'm gonna get ready now," Camila planted a quick peck on my lips and got off my lap, darting to the bathroom to take a shower.
"Crap. I hadn't thought about this," Camila muttered as she came out of the bathroom with a white towel around her. "I can't just show up in your clothes, she'll know I didn't go to school in them and my clothes from yesterday are still wet–"
"I put them on the heater yesterday, baby. They're dry," I stopped her rant again and her eyes widened. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched her running towards me to smooch me. Then she pulled back abruptly.
"Wait. If I wear the clothes I wore yesterday she'll notice," she whispered and I felt her fresh breath on my face from how close we were.
"Wear my hoodie on top of it," I shrugged. "I'll get your clothes," I told her and quickly got up to get the now dried clothes.
Watching her get dressed in my room was fun. She was incredibly shy for someone who got on her knees in the middle of my kitchen the day before, but I didn't tease her with that because it would only make it worse. She pulled on all the items of clothing as fast as she could but I definitely had time to appreciate her body the way it deserved to be appreciated. I saw a small mark right on her inner thigh before she could pull her jeans on all the way up. It was from the night that we had shared and I smirked at the memories from last night.
"Stop looking at me like that," Camila murmured and ran a hand through her damp hair. She was buttoning her jeans but her upper body was still only covered by a bra.
"Like what?" I asked still distracted by the sight.
"I don't know...like that," she chuckled nervously and grabbed the crop top she had been wearing in school the day before.
"You're beautiful. I'm never gonna stop," I told her simply and her cheeks turned bright red. She sighed dreamily and grabbed my hoodie. I was happy she didn't have a response because then it meant I was doing my job right. Clearly she didn't fully believe but I would make her, in time.
I got up once she finished getting dressed and pulled her to me by the waist. "You better text me when you get home and tell me if your mom suspected anything," I kept my eyes on hers and she nodded.
"Ok, I will," she bit her lower lip and folded her arms around my neck. Bringing her lips to my ear, she whispered, "Now kiss me goodbye."
I loved it when she asked me to kiss her instead of just doing it. There was something so sexy about it but I couldn't put my finger on it, maybe it was just Camila herself. I kissed her softly on the lips a few times before using my tongue to ask for permission to slip in past her lips. She granted it and I was already out of breath when our tongues collided. I shoved my hands down the back pockets of her jeans and gave it a gentle squeeze that had her moaning quietly into my mouth.
She scratched my abs lightly that were visible because I was only wearing a sports bra on my upper body. I shivered and felt them contract under her fingertips. I don't know why, but she moaned again and it was one of the hottest moans that had ever come out of her mouth.
"I need to...I need to go," the brunette panted and removed her hand much to my dismay. I knew she wanted to stay but couldn't and I wouldn't make it hard on her. I took a deep breath and dropped my hands from her waist. I looked down at the growing bulge in my sweatpants and couldn't believe that all it took was one kiss from the girl in front of me.
Camila followed my gaze and whined. "Ugh, Lauren. I need to leave but you're not making it easy on me," she rubbed at her eyes and I chuckled delicately before taking a step back.
"Sorry. I can't really control it," I grinned. Her phone buzzed again and she sighed before grabbing it.
"It's Sofi. I gotta go," Camila leaned in one more time before we both walked towards the door. I hated that she was leaving, it was so difficult to be alone with her nowadays and now that I finally had that much needed time with her, I didn't want it to end. But it had to and somehow, we would manage to make it work. We had to. She flashed me a smile before getting into her car and I watched her leave.
The next days at school were a mess. Not only did we barely have time or privacy to be affectionate but she was insanely jealous of Kenza and I had no idea why. She would tell me I spent more time with the light skinned girl than with her but that was not true. I had tried to explain to her that we only spent time together because of the school group project and nothing else but she was adamant about being right and having a reason to be jealous.
"You haven't told her?" Normani asked as we got out of our first class of the day.
"Told her what?" I looked at the dark skinned girl and frowned.
"That you and Kenza have a past."
"We don't have a past," I felt my heart beating faster than usual at the subject. I had avoided it only because it didn't matter, or I thought it didn't. It was one time and I knew what would happen if I told the brunette that I was 'spending' time with someone I had once slept with.
"Yes you do, Lauren. It's not fair she doesn't know," Normani said sternly and gave me a look.
"She doesn't have to. It'll only give her more reasons to be jealous and–"
"Maybe she should be," Normani cut me off and I raised an eyebrow now.
"What?" I stopped in my tracks and made Normani stop as well.
"I'm just saying, it's no secret that you...um, don't exactly stay with one person for long..." she trailed off awkwardly and my jaw dropped. The fact that my closest friend thought that I wasn't actually serious about Camila even after I proved to everyone around me that I was made me beyond upset. Undermining my obvious feelings for the brunette was so hurtful and I felt myself get defensive.
"Clearly you don't take me serious when I tell you what I feel for her, but you're mistaken if you think for one second that I'll do anything to hurt her," I spit the words into her face and gripped the straps of my backpack.
"Lauren, I'm just saying that it's not that far fetched for her to be jealous–"
"Yes it is! I've never given her any reason to!"
"You slept with her!" Normani raised her voice and I felt the stares of some students passing by lingering on me. I shifted uncomfortably and did my best to contain my anger at my friend. She seemed surprised by her own outburst and I had had enough. I walked away from her and decided to be alone.
I opened the big doors that led outside and was hit by the incessant sunlight. I took a few seconds to adjust to the light and walked to my car, parked on the other side of the parking lot.
I don't know how much time passed. I heard someone knocking on the glass of my jeep and I found Camila looking confused outside. I reached for the door and opened it for her without saying a word. I hadn't seen her that day. I felt my anger building up again because she would probably bite my head off now and complain about Kenza one more time.
"What are you doing here? You missed Chemistry, I was worried. You didn't answer your phone," Camila told me and I felt irritation creeping up on me.
"Yeah. Sorry, my phone was on silent," I laid my head back against the seat. A few moments passed before she spoke in a soft voice.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm just having a bad day," I sighed and felt my phone going off in my pocket. I reached for it and quickly typed a response to Kenza after she asked when would be a good time to continue working on the group project.
Camila scoffed beside me and I clenched my jaw. "What?"
"Nothing," she chuckled humorlessly. "Who was that?" she narrowed her eyes at me and I felt as though I couldn't possibly give her an answer she'd be happy with. I rubbed my temples and took a deep breath.
"Kenza," I answered as nonchalantly as I could.
"Of course. What kind of question was that," Camila shook her head.
"Can you stop that? It's getting annoying now," I glanced at her and she looked at me in disbelief.
"You know what's getting annoying too? Me feeling like I'm second best," she said and I saw hurt in her eyes. The one thing I had just told Normani I wouldn't cause on her, I was doing it.
"You're not second best, Camila," my anger vanished in that very moment when I saw how sad she looked.
"It feels like it," her voice broke at the end and I reached for her hand to squeeze it gently.
"You're not. You need to get that idea out of your head because it's ridiculous," I told her but felt my guilty conscious eating at me. I was keeping something from her that would probably ruin us. Maybe if I had just told her before it wouldn't be as bad. But if she was jealous over me working with the girl on a school project, what would she feel once I told her?
"Then why are you acting...like, cold towards me? I feel like you're pushing me away," she looked down at our joined hands and I sighed. I had to tell her at some point, I had been avoiding it for a while because I didn't want her to worry but my guilt always made me retreat, and that worried her too. I would rather be honest and inevitably hurt her with the truth than hide something and hurt her anyway.
"I need to tell you something," I felt my palms get sweaty and my heart race. I lowered the volume of the song playing on the radio and slightly turned my body to hers. She looked at me expectantly and I prepared myself for what I had to say. What was even the best way to tell her? I didn't know so I let the words come out naturally and hoped it wasn't too bad cause I had never done anything like it before.
"It happened way before I met you. I met Kenza over the summer and, um, it just happened one night. And that was it. It wasn't serious for either of us and it was more of a drunken thing than anything else. I didn't even remember it anymore until the first day back to school after summer because we never talked again after that night," I couldn't bring myself to look at her but I held her hand in mine even when she tried to pull it away. "It was insignificant. It's the only way to put it and...I hope you can believe me when I tell you there's nothing else there."
I waited for her to say something but she didn't. I looked up and found the brown eyes staring back at me like she didn't believe what I was saying. I kept going in hopes to attenuate the possible blow up that would follow.
"I didn't tell you because it was so irrelevant and you were already jealous and it would make everything worse...but I realized hiding it from you was worse. I had a fight with Mani this morning about it because she told me to tell you and I was telling her it wasn't worth it. That's why I came here to be by myself. I started feeling guilty so...here we are," I chuckled nervously because she still wasn't saying anything and I had run out of things to say. "Say something."
"I don't know what you want me to say," Camila breathed and I was scared of what that meant.
"Just...how you feel about this."
"I'm disappointed in you. And I'm mad that you had the nerve to tell me I was being dramatic while hiding the fact that you slept with her. That's how I feel."
What could even be my answer to that? I could tell she was fuming and I had no idea how to fix it. It was all my fault. And it was on me to make it better.
"Just tell me what I can do," I told her and she looked away from me, focusing on the school ahead.
"You can give me space," she told me and didn't make eye contact with me. I felt a pang in my chest when she said those words because I could feel her slipping away and I couldn't allow that to happen.
"No, please. We can work this out. Look, I know I messed up but I want to fix this. Just let me do it," I pleaded and my heart thudded loudly in my chest. "Look at me," I cupped her face and urged her to look me in the eyes. I saw her eyes glistening and wanted to kick myself for doing this to her.
"You broke my trust, Lauren. I need time until I can actually trust you again. If you want to fix this, you'll do that," Camila's raspy voice spoke but I shook my head.
"No. A break won't do anything. We don't need a break. We need to talk it out. I'll make you trust me again, it'll take time but I'll do it. In a break, we wouldn't talk so how could I make you trust me? That will only make it worse, Camila," I explained but she didn't look convinced.
"I need a break because I'm disappointed in you. That won't change with a few words. It changes with time, whenever I'm ready to trust you again and get over this situation. I have to get over it first. Do you get it?" Camila searched my eyes. "It's just a break, ok? It's not indefinite."
"I just...I fucking hate this. I never meant to let you down. And you know that there's nothing there, right?"
"Yeah," she nodded, "But that doesn't mean I'm ok with you and her being together at your house, specially now that I know."
"I won't be anymore. Even if I have to stay here until late, I'll do it at school," I said quickly and felt my eyes watering when I realized she wasn't going to trust me at all. "I ruined this," I dropped my hands from her face and gripped the steering wheel tightly instead. Why couldn't I have come to my senses earlier and just tell her everything?
"No, Lauren. Listen to me," Camila placed her hand on my jaw and pulled me to look at her. "Stop this. It's a break. This is me asking you for a bit of time, not for you to get out of my life, ok? Calm down a bit," Camila soothed me and I was in shock at how caring she still was even when she was basically asking me to leave her alone for a certain amount of time.
"But what now? Do we just act like normal friends?" I asked and didn't even try to hide my annoyance.
"I don't know, Laur. We'll just see. You understand where I'm coming from, right?"
"I guess...but I still don't like it," I shrugged. I knew I was being childish and making this much harder on her but I didn't care. I wanted to be with her and she was telling to stay away.
"And you think I like it?" Camila asked and shook her head at me. "I like it as much as you do. I wish things would just go back to the way they were, but they can't, and you have to understand that and agree that this is what we need."
"But I don't need this! I want to be with you, that's what I need," I looked at her and she was visibly taken aback when I raised my voice. I took a few moments to calm myself down before trying a different approach. "You can have your break or whatever you need but I'm gonna fight for you and you can't stop me. I won't allow you to just forget about me."
"I'll never forget about you. Stop being silly. And you're not losing me either. I'll still be here, just...more distant. Can you understand that?" Camila tried again and I shrugged.
"I don't understand it but I accept it. How long will the break be?" I asked nervously and Camila chuckled like something was genuinely funny. "What?"
"That's not how it works," Camila kept chuckling and I frowned.
"How am I supposed to know?"
"Right, um, the duration depends on what happens during the break or whenever I–"
"Whenever you're ready. Got it," I was annoyed at the situation so I just nodded and looked ahead, trying to come up with how I'd win her back.
"Yes. I'm gonna go now, is that alright or do you want to ask more questions?" Camila tried to joke but I didn't laugh, or smile. I hadn't been this upset in forever and here she was, making jokes out of my misery. I was being dramatic but I had never felt this strongly about anyone, I didn't even know how to act.
"You can go," I assured her and she nodded.
"Ok...um, take care," she said just above a whisper and I whipped my head to meet her eyes and glared at her.
"Don't say that," I told her and she furrowed her eyebrows.
"Why?"
"Because. Just don't," Camila looked at me skeptically for a few seconds but seemed to understand. The air was awkward and decided to say something that didn't sound so final. "Ok, well. I'll see you."
"I'll see you...too," the brown eyed said and grabbed her bag before hopping out of the jeep. I let my forehead hit the steering wheel and sighed, trying to keep the tears at bay. I literally felt like I was going through a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I was confident and the next I was everything but. What if she met someone else and they just whisked her away? What if her feelings somewhat changed towards me during the break? Fuck.
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a/n: kenza's character is 6kenza on instagram, that's how i'm describing her looks on here just in case you wanted a visual