The box feels like it weighs a ton in Louis' hand. It falls to the floor with a small thump and it's the only sound that fills the room.
"Paybacks a bitch" keeps running through his head. Payback for what exactly? Stealing Harry? That didn't make sense to Louis, he couldn't wrap his head around that one. Brad wouldn't take Sam for that.
Payback... For killing Jake? Louis can feel his stomach erupt in discomfort and he thinks he might be sick all over his bare feet. Would Brad avenge one of his guys for one of Louis'? Yes.
But Sam wasn't one of his guys. She was a worker, but she was innocent and clueless to everything. Louis knows though, he knows he killed her. He can feel it in every part of his body and his heart is screaming in pain.
Brad killed Sam. He killed his best friend. He knew it would leave a mark. He knew it would send a message.
Louis reaches over and grabs a lamp sitting on the table next to him. He throws it at the wall, the cord ripping out of the wall and the whole thing shattering.
"Fuck!" Louis screams. He turns and punches the still open door. He doesn't feel the pain in his numb hands so he turns and punches the wall, leaving a hole in his wake.
Liam moves quickly off the chair and reads the note and sees the bracelet. The other boys all follow quietly and look at it too. Louis just punches the wall again, leaving another hole.
"Fuck! I'm going to fucking kill him!" Louis shouts. Harry jumps away at the rage that's in Louis' voice. He's never seen him this angry before. Louis pays no mind to them and grabs the bowl by the front door, throwing that too.
He flips the table and kicks at the door. He's completely consumed by rage and he needs to get it out. He can't stop.
The boys all let him go. Niall watches him with sadness, knowing how close he was to the prostitute. Zayn wants to cry at the sight of his best friend breaking down and Liam, well Liam is also pissed.
"I. Fuck!" Louis shouts and this time when he punches a hole in the wall he can feel the pain. He curses and cradles his hand close to himself, cursing even more.
"Lou." Harry whispers. His voice carries over Louis' harsh words and captures all his attention. He sees Harry watching him with wide scared eyes. He moves forward to comfort the boy, but Harry takes a step back, not sure if Louis is okay. Louis wants to cry at that.
"Harry, I-" Louis can feel tears try to take over, but he fights them away. He doesn't cry. Harry can see the hurt in Louis' face and he feels so guilty. He moves forward as quickly as he can and wraps Louis up. Louis clings to him, the blood on his knuckles getting on Harrys white shirt.
"You're okay, Louis. It's okay," Harry tells him. The boys all watch the two and Zayn feels relief that Harry can comfort him, that Louis has someone.
"How did he know to target Sam though? He obviously had to know she'd affect you the most," Liam says. His words are spoken slowly and with purpose. Louis pulls away from Harry and gives Liam a questioning look.
"What are you trying to say?" Louis asks just as slowly. Liam looks over at Harry and everyone can see the rage in his eyes.
"Someone would have to tell him she meant a lot to you. Someone that knew you two were close," Liam points out. The whole room is rigid and cold. No one knowing what to say.
"You know it was him, Louis. I could fucking kill-" Liam's voice gets louder as he moves forward, but Louis moves in front of him, grabbing Liam's shirt.
"Fucking touch him, Liam and I'll fucking kill you," Louis snarls. Liam shoves him away and fixes his shirt. His eyes are cold and they look back from Louis to Harry, Harry to Louis.
"What happened to you? What happened to the guy that had nothing to lose, but everything to gain?" Liam shouts out. Louis doesn't even flinch at his tone.
"I gained something. Is that bad, Liam? Am I not allowed to have something to lose?" Louis asks him. Zayn and Niall watch their two friends awkwardly, not knowing which side to take.
"What if he betrays you, Louis? What then?" Liam asks him. Louis swallows and turns to see Harrys scared figure cowering away from Liam's harsh words. He takes him all in and then turns back to Liam.
"If he betrays me you all get a shot, but I get the final one. Straight through his heart."
With that said Louis leaves the room and walks out into his backyard. The fresh air doesn't help his broken heart and the tears he refuses to cry are begging to be let free. He walks far away from the large house, until the shine of the lights is just a dull glow in the dark.
He sits down in the cool grass, his mind thinking about Sam. He saved her, helped her and she helped him. He loved her like she was his family, she is his family. Forever. His heart clenches and he's so close to crying.
"Louis..." he hears his voice say. It's cautious and worried. Louis turns and sees Harry standing a few feet away, looking unsure and insecure in the far away lights of the house.
"Hi, Harry," Louis says. Harry takes that as a sign to move forward and he reaches Louis in seconds, sitting down so he can hug him tightly.
"It wasn't me, Louis. I promise I would never do this to you," Harry tells him. Louis hugs him tighter.
"I know, baby."
They pull away and Harry sits next to him, their knees brushing together. Louis just looks straight ahead, not knowing what to say.
"Is your hand okay? You were bleeding earlier," Harry says. Louis lifts his right hand and can see the blood is starting to dry, his knuckles cut up yet again.
"My hands okay."
"Are you okay?"
Louis swallows the lump in his throat and furrows his brow. He can feel Harry watching him, worrying about him and it's killing him.
"Honestly? No. I'm not okay," Louis tells him. Harry can see Louis trying to fight off his tears again and he intertwines their hands, not even caring about the blood.
"She was like a sister to me, H. I told her everything and took care of her. I promised her I would take care of her..." Louis chokes out. He blinks rapidly and still refuses to cry. Harry gives his hand a reassuring squeeze, letting him know he's listening and that he's there.
"She knew everything. I told her everything and she told me everything. Her dad used to touch her. He used to do awful things to her," Louis explains.
"I met her at a diner. She was crying and I went to talk to her. She just cried and I got her to tell me everything after hours and hours of convincing. Her father was the third person I'd ever killed," Louis frowns. Harry moves his eyes off the ground and sees Louis looking in the distance lost in thought.
"I told her I'd pay for her house if she just did one job for me. She agreed and that's how she became a prostitute."
Harry bites his lips, his head wanting to know more. Louis never talks about himself or his past.
"I guess I tricked her into it, but I made sure she was safe. She was always safe. I make sure they're all safe. I'm responsible for all my people. Graham, Max, Liam, Niall, Zayn... You."
Harry can see Louis going deeper into his head. Louis' eyes are glassy and the normal light blue is dark and icy.
"I tricked everyone into joining. Niall needed money because his brother stole everything from his mom. Zayn needed a place to fit in and well, Liam. Liam asked to join. Wanted to be part of this."
Harry felt bad listening to Louis talk about the boys' troubles. He wanted to know about Louis, only Louis. He was afraid to speak though. He didn't want Louis to stop talking.
"Do you want to know why I joined?" Louis asks. His eyes are now trained on Harry and Harry nods.
"When I was 11 my parents died. My dad had a heart attack and 10 months later my mom took her own life," Louis starts.
"Me and my four sisters got put in foster car. My twin sisters, Daisy and Phoebe, went first. They were only 1 so more people were willing to take them. Fizzy went next after about 3 months and then Lottie after about 5. They were gone and separated and I was alone."
Harry watches as Louis starts to pick grass, his mind in the past.
"No one wanted me. I was an older kid and I was male. I stayed in foster care until I was 16 and then I left. I met this group of boys at school and they told me I could stay with them. All I had to do was sell some drugs," Louis chuckles humorlessly. Harry desperately wants to talk, but he doesn't want to stop Louis.
"They told me they were my brothers and that's all I wanted. I just wanted a family so I did as told. I lived with them until I was 18 and then I heard about them wanting to 'get rid of me'. That wasn't going to happen. They were kills 1 and 2," Louis bitterly says.
"I felt no remorse at their deaths. I was bitter and they were going to kill me for money. Since I killed them, I became leader of the group. Of course they were small at the time -only Max and Graham working for them besides me- so I recruited."
Louis' eyes are now looking up at Harry and to Harrys surprise he has no tears. Not one.
"Sometimes I still feel like that little boy in a foster home. I feel like I'm just waiting for someone to want me. I'm waiting for someone to love me. I haven't cried since my last sister was taken from me and I was told to 'shut the fuck up and move on'. I had to move on from my family. Move on from loving them, from loving anyone."
Louis bites his lip, really trying to fight the tears. He will not cry.
"I loved Sam though and I never told her that. I never once told her I loved her and that she meant so much to me. That she had become a part of the family I always wanted. That she was a sister to me and I think that's one of the things I'll regret for my whole life," Louis whispers out. Harry can see him struggling. He can see him about to break, but he's trying to stay strong.
"It's okay to cry, Louis," Harry whispers. The words shatter something inside of Louis and the tears he refused to cry for the past 11 years rush out of him. They fall in big fat blobs down his cheeks and make his eyes burn. Harry pulls him into his lap, and rubs his back, letting the boy cry into his shirt.
"Anytime I love someone they get taken away," -Louis sobs out - "I just want someone to stay."
Harry kisses the side of his head and tries to fight away his own tears. His strong Louis is breaking down in his arms and nothing has broken Harrys heart more. He can feel the dampness of his shirt as Louis lets out all the feelings he's held in for years.
Harry just wants to take away all his pain. He wants to absorb it all and feel it so Louis doesn't have to. He'd do anything to make Louis happy again, to make him whole.
"You're okay, baby. I'm right here," Harry coos into Louis' hair. Louis clings onto his shirt more and pushes himself closer to Harry.
"I'm right here, Louis, and I love you."
Louis pulls away from Harry's hug and stares at him with wide, terrified eyes. Harrys cheeks are tinted pink because he did not mean to say that. He didn't even know he felt that way. He does though. He does love Louis with all his heart and he realized it as soon as the words were slipping out of his mouth.
"I - I can't say it, Harry. I just can't say it. I'm sorry."