I dropped to the cold metal floor and slid under the bed frame. I could smell the stale tang of sweat on the torn bed sheet still on the bed. Last night’s terror was a sour taste on my tongue as I lay there, curled around my brand new terror. Sweat quietly dropped off my face to soak into my sleeve, but I did my best to make no noise, clenching my teeth around a snarl of frustration when I heard the cell door creak fully open. I spotted three pairs of feet and I knew who they belonged to. “She won’t be in here, she hated this room.” Jessica said cautiously.
I spotted Barry’s feet step closer to her, probably to touch her in comfort. “I think Jess is right.” Barry concurred, and I knew he wasn’t thinking properly. If he’d remembered our tactics class, he’d remember that when searching for intelligent quarry, nowhere is out of bounds. “Besides, the only place in here to hide is under the bed and I know Callie is better at basic hide and seek than that.” He scoffed. I wished fervently that they’d leave.
“You could Call her.” Jessica added and everyone went impossibly silent and I got a very distinct feeling that I wouldn’t like whatever that idea actually intended. “It would force her to come to you.” She added tentatively and I almost threw up. I was so sick and tired of people forcing actions on me outside of my control.
“If she’s strong enough, she can resist the Call.” Barry warned. “It’s a really BAD idea to back Callie into a corner. It’s up to you Alex, but I don’t think Calling her is the best thing to do.” He cautioned and I felt a small tremor of relief; he still had my back at least that much.
But I guess Alex was tired of playing manhunt. I suddenly felt like I was dipped in hoarfrost. My body ached with an unbelievable cold and it felt as if each breath should sear my lungs. Close by I could feel Alex blaze like a giant fire; his warmth beckoned me, begging me to come and thaw myself. It hurt me so bad to just stay lying there in that metaphysical blizzard. I would die here because I was too stubborn to go to him, too stubborn to give in. The cold suddenly vanished as he cut the Call off and I held in a sob of relief.
“Both of you get out.” Alex said calmly. I saw them hesitate but then they walked out and Alex closed the cell door behind them with a sigh. This was not good for me, so far being locked anywhere alone with this man ended in confusion and property destruction. Alex walked towards me and sat on the bed, his feet were so close that if he’d taken his boots off, he’d have felt my breath on them. “Oh Callahan, what am I going to do with you?” he asked softly and lay on the bed. I froze as he spoke, but he acted as if he didn’t know I was right under him. I relaxed fractionally, second by second, until I was lying in a slumped pose with him above me. It was just my truly abysmal luck that he’d stopped in here to do his ruminations. I almost laughed out loud in relief, but that would have defeated the purpose of hiding, so I calmed myself and just listened to his breathing. He was quiet for so long that I couldn’t help but gear down myself; oddly comforted by how close he was to me. I could feel his weight on the bed over me without me ever touching him. He carefully shifted on the bed above me, slow, languorous movements that seemed like mere searching for comfort. In reality he had tricked me into relaxing so I never really worried about what his moving meant until he had dropped down beside the bed, grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my hiding space. I’d not been prepared for it at all, so by the time I thought to react and scramble free, he’d already pinned me completely.
“Callahan, I’m not going to hurt you!” he said insistently as I decided to struggle despite the analytical part of my brain knowing that he had out manoeuvred me. So he just let me exhaust myself and I never even budged him. Eventually even I give up, so I lay there, panting. “I knew you were there the entire time; I always know where you are Callahan. And I can always tell you apart from Cassandra.” His brown-orange eyes looked into mine. I thought he might say something else, something more than just that but he didn’t. “Usually I can tell you apart because she seems smart enough to not shoot her mouth off at me.” He joked, but the humour was flat in this situation. And then he surprised me by letting me go. “Albert was right though, it’s not a good idea to force you or back you into a corner.” He watched me sit up slowly. I sat with my back resting against the bed frame, sucking in air and cramming my emotions down so I wouldn’t cry. He settled in beside me, his shoulder touching mine. “Will you please show me your arm?” he asked softly. By this time he had to know what it would show but it was the gesture itself that mattered, not the end result.
I blinked slowly for a moment; I wasn’t done fighting, hell I don’t think I’ll ever be done fighting but I was done running. I didn’t like to run away and besides, I had nowhere left to run to. So I held my left arm out to Alex. He carefully unwound the useless bandages off and his breath caught softly as he revealed my almost undamaged arm. He released the breath slowly and touched gentle fingertips to where there’d been open, bleeding wounds not two hours ago and all that was left was slowly healing gouges that were already scabbed over.
“I didn’t shape shift last night.” I protested softly, realizing that I would have to tell him my secret for him to believe me.
“Are you sure about that?” Alex asked me, indicating the torn bed sheet. “You may not remember Changing, you were drugged.” He explained.
It would almost be easier for me to let him go on believing that he had infected me the day I saved his life, but was I really that big of a coward? “I remember having nightmares. I tore the sheets as I struggled in my sleep. If I’d Changed, wouldn’t my clothes be torn as well?” I asked, trying to find some shred of decency inside to just tell him the truth. Alex was running fingertips gently along my bare forearm and it was more than a little distracting. It itched and tickled and I had the most disconcerting desire to urge him on.
“Because you were drugged, you may only have had the ability to do partial changes. Claws, teeth, some fur, that sort of thing. Those nightmares you had are common experiences a lot of first Changers describe their first full moon. It’s the human mind not knowing how to categorize the Beast’s thoughts.” He slid his fingers in between mine and held my hand. “But soon you’ll become more familiar with your Beast’s thoughts and they won’t seem so alarming to you anymore.” He’d taken it from the abstract and finally personalized it to me. He truly believed that I was one of his Community now and I was afraid of how he’d react to the truth. “And as for silver,” he smiled slowly at me, “I remember your piercings and I’ve touched all of them at one time or another so I know none of them is silver.” I felt a blush creep up my face hotly as his voice reminded me just how much he’d touched. I have three piercings in my left ear, two in my right, one in my navel and one through my nipple and he was right, he’s touched all of them at some point.
“Stainless steel,” I admitted, “as almost all of my piercings are exposed when I dance at Faerie Tales and Barry is my usual dance partner, so I thought it best if I erred on the side of caution.” My jaw clenched shut as I almost spat out the truth, that they could be real silver because I wasn’t a Changer; I was an abomination that could tap into his gifts without his permission.
“Somehow you and caution don’t really go well in a sentence together Callahan. You are the most reckless, wilful person I have ever met.” I could hear the smile in his voice. I don’t know why, but it was the sound of that smile that made me start to cry. Alex continued to hold my hand and ignored my tears so I let myself close my eyes and cry. It was guilt chewing me up inside because I had to tell him now, and I would lose this with him.
“I’m not a Changer Alex. It would be easier if I was, but I’m not.” I started to finally say it when the cell door creaked open and footsteps entered. I opened my eyes as one weight curled up on the bed behind me and another sat on my other side; all comforting me without saying a word. It made me feel empty instead of reassured as Jessica stroked my hair gently from the bed. I’d missed my moment to be honest and now it was too late.
“Let’s go get you cleaned up Cal” Jessica suggested softly, and slipped from the bed. Barry lumbered to his feet but I stayed on the floor with Alex still absently holding my arm. “I’ll get the shower started, Barry can you find her some clean clothes?” Jessica suggested, seeming to be better at reading me than either of the males were, pulling Barry out of the room with her slyly. Once again I was left in a room alone with Alex; people seemed to be going out of their way to do that.
Alex released his loose hold on me and got to his feet. I stood up a little stiff and stretched; I could feel his watching me casually. “I’m not a Changer Alex; you have to believe me when I say that it’s something else that’s causing this.” I finally admitted aloud, fighting against a compulsion to stay silent.
He gave me a pointed look. “It’s all but confirmed Callahan. Would you like to do the silver test to confirm it?” he asked mockingly.
“Do you actually have any silver?” I asked, frowning, that was kind of dangerous to have around. Then I shook my head trying to resist the urge to let this get derailed with yet another distraction.
“Actually no, not right now. However I can get some for the silver test, or we can hire a private sensate to test you. The only other option is to wait until the next full moon and see if you Change.” He added clinically. My mouth was suddenly dry and I found it hard to swallow as a flutter of panic sped my heart rate up. “There’s no rush. Go shower Callahan, you stink.” He added playfully.
“No. Alex, I’m being serious.” I swallowed as something inside my head screamed that I shouldn’t expose my secret like this, and I realized that it sounded suspiciously like Edward’s warning voice. “I’m not a Changer. The reason I have the ability to seem like one is because I can tap into people’s gifts.” The words were forced out between my teeth, each word a struggle to say against some compulsion to remain silent on it. To stay safe by lying about my gift but I was fighting it. I could do this, I just had to keep breathing and keep moving. I needed to break the hold of whatever it was that Edward has clearly done to me.
Alex gave me a skeptical look and shook his head as if he didn’t believe me. As if I was just coming up with any lie or excuse just so I could claim to not be one of his people. Here I was exposing the biggest secret of my life to him and he simply didn’t even listen to me. It shocked me so much that I stayed silent as he touched my cheek and I felt his beast rub up against my mind again, as if to say that I could deny all I wanted but he knew the truth. Then he left the room to let me have a moment with myself I guess. After that I was working completely on autopilot. Trying to fight off what I now knew to be a mental block that Edward had put into my head had taken tremendous effort and in the end it had failed. How long has that block been there and what other ones were in place? Questions I hadn’t even thought of yet suddenly plagued me with a sense of helpless terror that those around me must have misinterpreted as shock over being a Changer. I know that I went and took a shower and I know that there were Changers moving around by now, but for the life of me, I couldn’t actively engage with any of it. I sort of recalled that Jessica stayed close to me the entire time; there were a few other Changers around, but somehow she kept me apart from them. I started to come out of my strange fugue as I got dressed. Barry had stuffed clothes in a bag and Jessica handed me what we hoped would fit. As I tried on clothes the sense of mental horror and betrayal faded, harder to remember as it buried back down under layers of shields Edward had built inside my mind for just this kind of contingency. By the time I had pulled on a whole outfit, I could hardly remember why my head and my chest hurt at all and why I felt so deeply betrayed.
Looking in a mirror snapped me the rest of the way back to normal as I stared at my attire; jeans that on a shorter person would be normal were majorly low rise on me and a green zippy sweater thing that was a bit too short. That left my abdomen a little bared, revealing both my navel piercing and the top of the scars that Barry had given me. I hated it even though I have shown off much more skin in my dancing clothes. Barry started to shake with laughter as soon as he saw me. “Oh Cal, you should see your face. You look like someone rubbed lemon juice in your eye.” He chortled. I grunted at him and sat carefully on a chair. Normally I’d flop, or collapse, or some other more comfortable sounding verb, but my freaking hip bones showed above the pants. If I sat down like I normally do, I was pretty sure someone would start to lob quarters down my ass crack. Jessica sat down closer to Barry but her body language was uncomfortable and I felt Alex standing behind my chair with his attention entirely focused on the two Changers in front of me.
“Jessica, I have a task for you if you feel up for it.” The Change leader announced. His wording said it was optional but his tone of voice indicated a command. “Right now we need to organize and develop a workable plan. The Counsel has backed off its search for Callahan and Cassandra because they don’t want the press finding out about them hunting down their own poster girl, but no matter how hard we try Callahan cannot hide forever. I’m going to ask you to speak with Amanda at Faerie Tales; she should have a way to get word to Cassandra. Ask her to meet us at a safe location, preferably somewhere Edward has no familiarity with. From what I gather, to use his ability to jump to a location he needs to be familiar with it or have someone with him who is; so the more obscure the area, the better. Albert you know Edward the best, so I want you to determine, if possible, what his connection or bargain to the Counsel is. I know his betrayal is... unexpected and maybe we can find a way to recruit him back to our side.”
I tilted my head back and looked up at Alex. “And what am I supposed to do Lord and Master?” I asked sarcastically as my guts twisted with the reminder of Edward’s betrayals.
Alex raised an eyebrow at me in silent mockery. “You, my little trouble maker, will be stuck with me as a chaperone for the next little while.” I opened my mouth to object and he literally shushed me with a finger to my lips. That surprised me enough that I stayed quiet. I turned a surprised look at Barry and Jessica. He was giving me an amused look and she looked suspiciously speculative. I didn’t get a chance to come up with a snappy comeback though because he kept on talking. “I want to be kept up to date. Thursday, if nothing has happened, we will all meet up at my apartment to strategize. If before that things come to ahead call me immediately.” Alex instructed. Barry and Jessica agreed without question but I heaved a sigh. I couldn’t argue, but I hated this expectation of meek acceptance.
“So do we have a special, secret hand shake?” I asked dryly. “Oh, do we also get call signs? Can I be tango foxtrot?” I added before anyone could respond.
Barry snorted at me. “Cal, you can be the entire range of tango foxtrot you want to be. I however, plan on getting the hell out of here before he decides to eat you.” With that, my best friend smilingly left and abandoned me with Alex.
Jessica gave me a little wink. “Have fun tango. And Alex, those clothes are on loan so please don’t destroy them. If you’re going to kill her, strip her first.” She suggested with a grin making my eyes go wide with surprise. I was going to have to hurt her later. Alex said nothing at all and that was just making me more nervous. Yelling I can handle, but silent contemplation is a new thing to me. He stalked around from behind me and sat in the chair Barry had vacated, deciding I guess to just ignore my attempt at humour earlier.
“While keeping you safe, I’m also going to try to find out what I can about Marcus and your father. To do this, I’m going to be dealing with the Counsel. So I trust you to keep your head down. Can you handle that?” he asked me, brown-orange eyes looking me over in a lazy fashion. His behaviour was so cat like that I couldn’t believe that I’d not known what he was when I first met him.
“I’ll do my part if you answer a question for me.” I countered. Alex just watched me patiently while I licked my lips nervously. “Why is there brown in your eyes? When we met it wasn’t there and when your Beast takes over it disappears. What’s up with it?”
Alex just smiled cryptically. “You’ve asked that before. The only thing I’m going to tell you is that you’re not ready for the answer yet. But when you are, I promise to tell you.” The bastard really was going to play the mystery card with me after I’ve basically spilled all my good secrets to him.
“Fine, but I don’t think I can stay cooped up for much longer. Something is going to have to happen, I’m going crazy.” I warned and Alex just gave me a vaguely amused look. I think he’d figured out that silence is the best was to unnerve me, and he was truly enjoying seeing me squirm. “I can be patient, but I’ve been locked up and inactive for the last week and I was comatose for over a week before that; I’m crawling out of my skin with the need to DO something. You should know me well enough by now to understand that I’m an active person and all this sitting around waiting for things to happen is seriously damaging my calm.” I added.
“Don’t worry Callahan; I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” His response was somewhat ominous. “Stay here, I need to go make sure that everyone has gotten off alright.” He ordered and stood up, going to do his rounds as a good leader would.
I got up a moment later and paced around the now echoingly empty building; before you could hear the constant sound of people together, even if you couldn’t pinpoint the exact noise. But during my little game of tag earlier and the preparations afterwards, I guess everyone else had woken up and gone home. If I closed my eyes and concentrated I could feel the lingering traces of each individual’s magical essence. It hurt a little but not as much as it had a week ago. I could also feel Alex stalking through the building to ensure it was empty; I could have saved him the trouble, I only felt us in the building. Feeling him coming back towards the entrance way I grabbed our jackets but there was a frown on his face as he spotted me, and he walked right up to me eyes searching my face. I raised an eyebrow at him.
“I can feel you do that.” He said. I was missing part of the conversation because that made no sense. “Whatever it was I felt you looking or searching or whatever it was you were just doing.” He explained.
“I was feeling the magical essence of the building. Since you are the leader here, the magic perceives you as part of it. There is also that whole other aspect to my gift that I told you about but you refuse to believe me on.” The last part slipped out, as if referencing my secret obliquely was easier to sneak out passed the blocks Edward had placed inside my mind. But either Alex still didn’t believe me or he didn’t seem to be in an enquiring frame of mind because he let it be.
It was mighty awkward going back into Alex’s apartment after what had happened the last time I was here. I did my best to ignore the slightly fluttery feeling in my gut and my increased heart rate, but I was a wee bit jumpy still. I was still embarrassed about our little interlude, and having lingering traced of evidence scorched into the ceilings and walls wasn’t helping. Alex seemed to be tense about it too because he had issues meeting my gaze. I smiled grimly to myself and sat on his kitchen counter. “So, today is Sunday, what are we going to do?” I asked, lightly swirling my feet in the air. I tilted my head and waited. He had played the silent card on me to make me squirm and now it was his turn. I watched Alex pace around his own domain, unsettled by my presence. It made me smile again. That second smile made Alex stop in his tracks as he realized the outward displays of unease. It bothered him that I could tell that I bothered him so he stalked over and rested his hands on the counter on either side of me.
“We’ve got to come up with a plan. I know you can talk to Cassie even without knowing where she is so I need you to do that now. Find out what you can, and tell her to try and contact Jessica. You mentioned earlier that it hurts the two of you right now, so keep it short. I do not want you causing yourself pain if you can help it.” He instructed.
“I can handle the pain Alex, don’t worry about me. It’s Cassie who has an issue with it; I’ve always had a higher pain tolerance.” I assured him. Instead of waiting for his asinine response, I closed my eyes and concentrated. It was less and less painful every time I tried this; instead of screaming agony this time it felt like tearing a muscle. I pushed the pain aside and followed my connection to Cassie until I could touch her mind gently. Cautiously, I felt her let me in. I quickly passed her the information about contacting Jessica or Amanda and the need to plan. I closed off before the pain could seep over too much. I peeled an eye open to see Alex watching me expectantly. I blinked my eyes open and tried to focus but it was hard because he was a little too close. He grabbed my chin and turned my head from side to side, checking for signs of strain. I managed not to pull my head away or grind my teeth because he’d feel that tension. I let him inspect me until he was satisfied that I was fine. When he was reassured that no damage was done he let me go without comment and I swallowed against the tightness in my throat. I was getting far too comfortable with letting him touch me like that. “She’ll be expecting word from Jessica. If nothing else, she can get word to Barry, though I’m sure that the Counsel is watching him so anything we do through him is going to be picked up. I can get longer messages to her. You just have to trust me to be able to handle the pain.” I explained to help fill the silence.
Alex shook his head vehemently. “That won’t be required Callahan. I don’t want you hurting yourself; we can do this without that.”
I frowned. “Why are you going through so much trouble to help me? I know we’re friends but I’m nothing important. Cassie’s the one that everyone needs.” I jumped down off of the counter and brushed past Alex. Now I was the one pacing with discomfort. Alex turned to watch me wander restlessly. I didn’t want to look at him because I didn’t like seeing pity in people’s eyes when I admit the truth about myself. I have no delusions about how I’m viewed in the world, but it makes people uncomfortable when I just come out and say it. Cassie usually gives me a sad look; she knows how people view us. She’s the one with the rare and strong talents, the poster girl for the Counsel and the one that the world pays attention to. Mostly people don’t even know I exist. I used to really enjoy the fact that I was free to be me, out of the spotlight unless someone mistook me for her. But somewhere in the last few months I guess it did start to bother me a little more, because I wanted someone to see me. It also terrified me because I know about the dark horrors inside that I barely have control over, the elements that come out too strongly and too violently and that I have killed with. So I was torn between wanting someone to look at me the way Zeke looked at Cassie, and being afraid that someone would look at me the way I see myself. There was no way I was getting into that now though so I turned it back into safer waters. “Even you do it Alex; you called her Cassie and that’s the first and only time I’ve heard you use a nickname for someone. I know she has that effect on people, even on me and I love her for it as much as the next guy does, but I don’t believe for one moment that I emulate it. I’m not that girl, she is. So explain to me why you would go out of your way to help me? I need to know Alex.” I still didn’t look at him; I looked at the space in front of him trying to watch him out of the corner of my eye. I was asking him to say it what we’ve both avoided even properly alluding to; we’d been footing around it carefully for the last while, but he never said a thing. And I couldn’t, not yet and especially not now.
“Callahan,” Alex started softly, my eyes flicked up to meet his. And lo and behold, his freaking phone rang. I had to laugh, by now I’ve come to truly despise phones. I walked away from him to check out his movie collection. The moment was lost, there’d be no truths revealed now. “Callahan,” Alex called no indecision in his voice now, “that was Albert. The Counsel found out you were staying with us. Edward slipped him a head’s up. We need to go, now.” He commanded.
I was at the door in seconds. We were in his car and pelting away when I saw Edward snap into the area with a Council member and a handful of goons. If he could have gotten close enough, Edward could have snapped us out, car and all because he was that powerful. Whatever had been blocking me or shielding him from my ability to properly Sense him was gone so I could feel that part of him now. It was breath taking, but I could also feel something wrong with him. Alex and I were out of there so fast that I didn’t get to pinpoint it though. “Cassie’s at Sebastian’s, the Counsel was denied entry before but they’ll force the issue now. The only safe place I can think of left is Underhill. I remember how to get there and Edward doesn’t know it. But we need to pick Cassie up first.” I said all that in one breathy rush. I tagged that information to Cassie even as I said it out loud. I was focusing on that feeling from Edward, I almost had it.
“So we go there and get them.” Alex said tersely as he drove. I wondered briefly how the hell he knew where Sebastian lived, though I guess it made sense; the leader of the Changers would know the area where the demons had power. Changers and demons don’t always get along, though in some cities like Toronto they work as a team, but here in Ottawa the city is too political for that level of cooperation.
The closer we got to Sebastian’s, the more agitated I got; I really did not want to be going there. Sebastian scared me, going to a place where I knew the Counsel would look for me scared me and knowing that at some point that Marcus would strike terrified me. But I’d grit my teeth and bull through it, because that’s what I always do. We pulled up to the driveway in front of a rather impressive private castle. It wasn’t really a castle but house somehow didn’t fit the description; for one my old apartment with Cassie would have fit into the garage, for two it had more than three floors and four bathrooms. I could tell that by the sheer span of it. Alex put a hand on my shoulder. “Stay here. I’m leaving the car on and going to go get Cassandra. We’ll be right out.” He squeezed my shoulder and got out.
I watched him go inside and as soon as the door to the house closed, so too did the ward waiting around it. I felt it crash shut and could tell that it would keep people in, not out. Wards of any size are not easy, and the more complicated the function the more complex the spell and the higher the Power draw on the warder. The only things keeping me out of the building were the distance between me and the door, and the devilkin stepping into view. There were four of them and if I wasn’t entirely mistaken, they belonged to Marcus; I could feel his mark on them. Two of them stepped between me and the door to possible safety; the other two were coming towards me in the car. This was it then, the big bad guy showdown. I kept my mind connected in with Cassie’s so she’d know what was going on, and boy was my twin livid. The men folk were doing everything they could to keep her from ripping the door off and attacking the ward with her bare hands.
I stepped out of the car and looked at the devilkin coming towards me. There was no way I was just going to meekly give up. I feinted towards them, but then bolted for the front door. I’d take dodging seduction from Sebastian over any plans Marcus had for me. One would be unpleasant; the other would be downright untenable. I think that the two at the door had expected me to just try and run between them because the one I tackled deliberately sure looked surprised. I let the momentum of the fall roll me up onto my feet and I kicked the other devilkin in the throat. Added strength or not, I crushed his trachea. I spun to open the door when a hot pain rammed through my left shoulder. I stared down at the knife in shock as the devilkin let go of it and backed away. I hadn’t expected him to get up that fast, and if our roles had been reversed, I would have kept up on my advantage. Instead he backed away in fear and then erupted into flaming ashes. I wasn’t the one who turned him to dust but I was grateful for it anyways. The knife in my shoulder killed but Cassie cautioned me to not pull it out as it may have hit the artery. So I held my shoulder with my right hand and swallowed the nausea back down. Spending your life training to fight still doesn’t prepare you for the pain; you never know what you’re capable of until you do it or fail to do it, and the knife burned with an intensity that confused me.
Finally, I turned my scattered focus on the group that’d snapped into view. It’d been Marcus who’d evaporated my attacker, guess he’d left explicit instructions that I wasn’t to be harmed. The bastard probably wanted that honour to himself and I looked away from the Demon Lord before he could try to roll my mind. Unsurprisingly I spotted Lucien with him so I waved the blood stained fingers of my right hand at him. He smiled and blew a kiss back. It was the third party member who nearly made my heart stop. What in the name of Goddess was Edward doing standing with Marcus?