There's another trigger warning for the end of this chapter. It's just a dream but it does contain suicide. It just fits into the story I am so sorry guys.
Jahsehs POV:
I run my fingers through Kenna's hair as I watch her sleep. Her face is so fucked up. She's beautiful, but the marks. Who could've even done this to her? Why wasn't I watching her? She's so fragile. I watch as her lip twitches and I chuckle a bit. My phone vibrates beside me and I grab it, looking at the text.
London: is she okay? What happened?
Me: i took care of her. But I don't know if she's okay. I'm guessing someone tried something with her.
London: is she here?
Me: yes
London: let me know when she's alright and I'll come see her.
Me: sounds good.
London: thank you for taking care of her Jahseh.
Me: of course.
I throw my phone beside me and close my eyes, falling asleep quickly.
Kenna's POV:
I feel the sun in my face but I don't want to wake up. I'm sore as hell and my mind is so messed up. I feel jahsehs arms around me. He hasn't moved at all. I open my eyes and grab my phone off the bedside table, trying not to wake Jahseh up. I have a lot of texts and I really don't want to answer them all. I just text London and Isiah back, letting them know I'm okay.
"You up?" Jahseh asks me in a raspy voice.
"Yeah." I mumble. I turn my body around so I'm facing him.
"How do you feel?"
"Better."
"Are you okay?" Jahseh stirs around and pulls the blanket up to his shoulders.
"Not really." I chuckle. "I'll be fine."
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Jahseh asks.
"I just said the wrong thing to the wrong guy." I answer.
"Who?"
"I don't know." I mumble.
"What'd he do to you?" Jahseh hounds me with questions.
"I mean, it's pretty obvious." I chuckle awkwardly. Jahseh gives me a look and I roll my eyes at him. "He basically showed me his gun so I followed him. And he fucked me up. He almost.. You know."
"I'm sorry I should've been paying attention."
"Jahseh. That's not your job."
"It is."
"Why was there gunshots?" I ask, changing the subject.
"I don't know. I don't think they were at Gazzys. (Gazzy is Pump y'all) Probably just very close." Jahseh answers. He rubs his face, then rolls into his back. "I'm gonna go get something to eat. Whatchu want?"
"Nothing."
"You gotta eat."
"Just a smoothie." I grumble, burying my face in the soft pillows. I pull back in pain and pout. "Damn."
"Good enough for me." Jahseh heads to his closet and changes into a pair of black shorts and a revenge sweatshirt. "Here." He says, as he walks back over to me with some clothes.
"Thank you." I smile, grabbing the clothes. These are my clothes. I didn't know I left them.
"It's cool. I'll be right back." Jahseh disappears so I grab my phone. I scroll through Instagram. I don't see anything about a shooting. Usually it'd be posted by some account by now.
I turn my phone off and slowly sit up. I take a minute to be fucking depressed before I decide to change. I go to the bathroom so I can examine my marks. My jaw is purple, almost black. My lip has a small cut. My nose is purple and my cheek has a nice red mark on it. On top of that, I have scratches everywhere. I decide to look at my cut another time, I don't want to mess with it right now and it hurts like hell. I strip down to my underwear and bra and stare in the mirror. I look insane. It's like a switch goes off in my head and I instantly start crying. I cover my face with my hands and sob. My body shakes with anxiety and I can't control it. I feel Jahseh enter the room, he instantly grabs a hold of me and pulls me to the ground, placing me in his lap.
"Shhh. It's okay." He coos as he rocks me back and forth. He squeezes me a bit tighter and places his head on mine. "You're okay."
"I feel like shit." I cry into his chest.
"I know."
"I look horrible."
"You look beautiful Kenn." I bury my head deeper in his chest as I try to calm down. Eventually I stop crying but we continue to just sit in silence.
++++++
Stop. Stop. Please stop. Stop!
I jolt up from my bed, covered in sweat. I look around frantically and throw my arms around trying to grip onto something. Firm hands grip onto my shoulders and steady me.
"Count to ten." Says a deep raspy voice.
"One.. Two.. Three... Four, five, six... seven.. eight.. nine.....ten." I recite out loud.
"Deep breath."
I inhale deeply and exhale slowly. I close my eyes and the strong hands lay me back down.
The bed squeaks as he gets up to leave.
"No jahseh! Stay please. Please stay." I sit up anxiously, reaching out for him. I feel his body come back to me quickly and I cling onto him.
"I got you." He whispers in my ear. I bury my head in his neck and stare into the dark.
"Tell me something." I whisper quietly. "Do you love me?"
"I love you Kenn."
I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
++++++
"Hey." London says cautiously as she walks into jahsehs room slowly.
"Hey." I stand up from the bed and grip onto her tightly. "I missed you."
"It's been two days." She jokes. She pushes me back gently and examines me. "I'm sorry Kenn. Oh my god."
"Don't be." I smile. London nods and I can she's trying not to cry. "And don't cry." I laugh. She giggles and blinks fast.
"I'm sorry."
"Jahseh said he'd be back in twenty."
"It's okay. I'm gonna go home anyways. Can you let him know?"
"Yeah of course. You sure you're good to go?" London asks worriedly.
"Yeah yeah. I'm okay." I grab my phone and put it in my pocket, following London downstairs.
"Call me if you need me and I'll be right over okay?"
"Of course." I smile. London pulls me into another hug and squeezes me tightly.
"I love you so much. And I'm sleeping over tomorrow."
"Okay." I laugh. "And I love you so much more."
"Be safe."
"Always." I throw London the peace sign and walk out the door to my car. I start the car and head over to my own place. I'm actually extremely anxious to be alone so I just sit in the car for a while. Five minutes of sitting in the car eventually turns in an hour. An hour of just staring and thinking. I hear a car pull up but I'm so lost in my thoughts, until I hear a knock. I scream and cover my face.
"Kenn it's just me!" Jahseh says as he opens the door quick and reaches out for me. "I'm sorry holy fuck."
I feel like crying but I hold it back. "It's okay. I'm sorry."
"No I'm sorry. Why'd you leave?" Jahseh sits in my car and closes the door.
"I just felt like I stayed long enough. I don't want to be a burden."
"You never are you little fuck." He chuckles. "You're not ready to be alone. Obviously."
"Yeah... I know." I nod.
"You had a nightmare last night?"
"I don't remember. Honestly. I took some sleeping pills so everything past that is erased forever." I laugh.
"Okay good. How bout we get some of your things and you come stay with me?" Jahseh asks.
"Okay." I nod again. We get out of the car together and head to the house. Once I unlock it we go up to my room. I grab some clothes and a few other things, then bring them back down to the car. Jahseh gets into his own car and I follow him back to his house. Once we get there I sit in my car. He notices and gets in the passengers side. We sit in silence and stare off. "You think it'll ever be okay?" I ask after a while.
"Sooner or later." Jahseh answers. I suddenly realize I've been digging my nails into my wrist. I let go and watch as small crescent shapes fill with blood. I wipe the blood on my pants and sigh.
"Show me the next song."
"Alright." Jahseh fiddles with his phone and hooks it up to my aux. "pick one."
"Depression and obsession."
A sweet melody fills my ears.
Depression and obsession don't mix well.
Hell I think I'm just obsessed with you.
When the song ends, I examine jahsehs face as he looks out the window. "What is it about?" I ask quietly.
"I'm obsession. You're depression."
"Yeah." I nod. "It's beautiful."
"Come on." Jahseh gets out of the car and heads to the house. I shut my car off and follow him quickly. He leads me up to his room straight away. I do my own thing and make myself comfortable in his bed. This used to be our bed. I sigh and bury my face into his pillows. "I'm gonna work on some music." Jahseh says, sitting down at his computer.
"Alright." I nod. I put on naruto and slowly fall asleep but my dreams haunt me.
"You stupid bitch!" I hear some man yell at my mom. I cover my face and cry as they scream at each other. Eventually I hear the door slam so I feel safe to come out of the closet. I inch my way out slowly and make my way to the living room. I step in something wet and look down. Blood? I follow the trail of blood to the couch. There lays my mom, she looks dead. I frantically shake her but she doesn't wake up.
"Mom?" I scream in my eight year old high pitched voice. She lays there, dead. "Please wake up!" I cry. The door opens and I turn around frantically. Jahseh? He walks right to me and picks me up, carrying me to my small room. I kick and scream at him but he's strong. He looks older. Feels older. He throws me to the bed and hits my head off the wall. "Jahseh Stop!" I scream at him but he ignores me. He pulls out a gun and points it at me. "No please." I whimper. He nods at me then turns his stare to the window. I follow his gaze but see nothing but black.
"I love you." He whispers looking back at me. He quickly points the gun to his head and pulls the trigger.
"Jahseh!" I yell frantically, crawling to his bloody body on the floor. I'm sobbing and shaking as I reach his head. But as it comes into my view, it's not Jahseh. It's me.
I gasp for air loudly as I sit up. I start crying and looking around. I don't know where I am. I can't see anything but red. I start hyperventilating and coughing as I grasp at the sheets surrounding me.
"Kenna calm down!" I hear Jahsehs voice but I can't see him.
"Jahseh?!" I yell frantically. I feel his hands on me and I stop coughing.
"Hey it's okay, calm down. I'm here... I'm right here." Jahsehs words calm me and I slowly begin to see everything. What the fuck was that? My hyperventilating stops but I'm still taking quick breaths.
"I'm.. sorry.." I say between sobs.
"It's okay Kenn." Jahseh says, brushing tears away with the palm of his hand.
"What time is?" I ask tiredly.
"6:43." Jahseh answers.
"Okay." I nod. "Can we do something?"
"Like what?"
"Maybe go swim in the pool?"
"Yeah of course. Want me to get London and Isiah to join?" Jahseh asks.
"Yeah please." I sniff. He kisses my temple and runs off. I sigh heavily and fall back down. What a fucked up dream.