CHAPTER ONE_
The Second Best
I kept on tapping my fingers against the table as I stared at my phone. Classes will start in just 5 minutes and yet, Tao's still not here. I've been waiting for almost an hour already, and it took all of me to swallow my pride and pretend that I didn't notice the crew looking at me in pity as if it was way too obvious that I was being stood up. I kind of expected this to happen, so why am I still disappointed?
Sighing, I picked up my bag and walked out of the restaurant, murmuring a thank you to the crew whom had been kind enough to give me a glass of water earlier out of pity. Meanwhile, it's like a bitter pill slid down my throat and fizzed into my heart and stomach as I finally accepted the fact that I was indeed, stood up. Again. Breakfast together? Yeah right, like that would ever happen.
I glanced up at the sign as I walked out, making me break into a bitter laugh. To think that he even invited me to his favorite Chinese Restaurant. Last week, it was lunch at the cafeteria, and the other day, it was at my favorite cafe. He was so sorry that he forgot our appointment so he promised to treat me breakfast at his favorite place, but of course, you know now how that turned out.
I'm dumb, I know. I keep giving him chances even if he breaks his promises to me every time. I'm dumb enough to keep on trying to understand and give him the benefit of the doubt because I believe it's not his intention to treat me like this. He has tons of other friends a lot more famous and deserving of attention than me, and I'm just a nobody. Maybe I'm just expecting too much from him, giving more meaning to something so trivial.
Shaking my head, I just walked towards the campus just a few blocks away. In no time I reached the big gates of the campus, immediately seeing a lot of girls hanging around by the gate, trying to pretend to just happen to be there but apparently obvious that they're waiting for someone with the frequent looks they spare at the streets outside. Of course, considering that this is already a daily occurrence I know well enough that they're waiting for the "handsome and famous guys" to arrive. Which only means that Tao hasn't arrived school yet as he is part of that group, and they always arrive almost at the same time.
I paid no attention to the crowd and just went on walking into the campus grounds. All of a sudden, a big hand landed on my shoulder, making me whip around. It was Tao, but it just felt surreal seeing him after what happened that I had to take a few seconds to stare up at him and confirm he was real. His brows were furrowed as if he was in deep worry, and I almost thought he was going to apologize for standing me up again.
"Seollie, do I look okay?" He made a slow turn, showing me every inch of his outfit. He was wearing a simple white tee with black skinny jeans, and finished off with his trademark leather boots. "Does it look... sloppy?"
My heart fell at the realization that he forgot about it after all, but I tried my best to not let my disappointment show on my face. I forced a smile and patted his arm. "No, Tao. You look perfectly fine. You look good in anything."
You're perfect. I wanted to say, but of course, I couldn't. No matter what he does, may it be the way he dresses or just by the way he blinks, he's perfect. I don't know about the others, but to me, whenever I look at him, that's all I can see.
"Waaah you really are the greatest Seollie!" he squealed as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. He buried his face into my hair, trying to smell my candy scented conditioner, as usual. I couldn't smile genuinely this time, though. Although I kept trying to push it away from my thoughts, I was still hurt by the fact that he forgot his promise to me again.
I almost forgot that we were still at line of sight of the crowd of girls until I heard murmurs.
"Omo! She's so lucky to be so close to Tao-oppa!"
"Why is he always with that girl? Is she his girlfriend?"
"No, I don't think so. Why would he even like her?"
"I heard they're just friends."
I felt my heart crack a little at that word. Friends. I know I should be happy to be even just his friend. I mean, he's impossibly famous and it's so hard to have him pay attention to someone unimportant for more than a second. I had spent almost two years in this college standing on the side, just like the others, watching him pass by with his overflowing perfection and all. I didn't plan on tripping on my own shoelaces by the stairs, though, only so he could save me and notice me. I didn't expect him to be a very nice person and even accompanied me to the clinic, because I thought people like him wouldn't bother spend their precious time over something--or someone--unimportant. I don't exactly know why, but ever since that day, he started to acknowledge my presence every time he sees me. Some people got jealous, and most got mad.
As of this day, three months have already passed. We've grown really close, but I'm not really sure at what degree of friendship we are at. He seems to be equally close to his other friends. Maybe I pass more as an acquaintance?
"You're pretty late today, huh?" I decided to speak so I could distract myself from the heavy feeling in my chest and the murmurs of the people around us.
"Yeah, I was confused about what I should wear. I spent like, an hour and a half hour to get ready." He sulked as he checked on his outfit again.
"Have you eaten breakfast?"
"Oh yes!" He beamed. "I passed by my friend D.O's house. He cooks really well. I should bring you along with me sometime."
This time, my smile just completely faltered. He doesn't realize it, but he actually just slapped me with another bitter truth. His other friends are still in higher priority than me. I may also be his friend, but I will always just be the second best. Heck, I don't even know if I'm in the top ten. I just need to stop forgetting that I'm just a nobody.
"I'm not really sure about that, Tao," I stopped walking to look at him straight in the eye, testing if he would remember what he missed just by the hurt look in my eyes. Of course, he didn't.
"Why Seollie~?" he whined and pouted. I forced a smile. I couldn't find the heart to get mad at him. He's so innocent that he doesn't even realize that he's already breaking my heart. Sad thing is, I couldn't confess my feelings to him because I'm afraid he'll push me away once he becomes uncomfortable around me. If he can ditch me now that we're friends, then what more if things become awkward?
"I'm certain your famous friend wouldn't want a nobody like me just casually walking into his house. He doesn't even know me."
His face turned serious. "You're not a nobody. You're my Han Seollie."
"Of course I am, ZiTao." I just smiled and reached up to fix his hair. "I should go now. Your friends are coming for you." I pointed to the two tall handsome men heading towards us, but whose eyes were only focused on Tao like I was invisible. He grabbed my arm as I turned around, though.
"But Seollie..."
"Classes are starting, Tao. Don't tell me you want to miss another class again?"
"Okay. Bye." He pouted, and I could only laugh at his cuteness. This time, he let me leave and allowed his attention be diverted to his friends. Meanwhile, I headed up the stairs to my floor, trying to take the largest steps as I could towards my room. I sighed in relief as I saw that I wasn't late yet and immediately took my seat at the back nearby the window. My only friend other than Tao, Amber, immediately slapped my arm.
"Oww! What was that for?"
"You're 10 minutes later than usual, do you know that?" She hissed as she forced me to sit on the chair beside her. I didn't mind her practically nagging me like an overprotective mom because to be honest, that's what I like about her. Her brusqueness complements my timidness. "Anyway, have you packed your things for the field trip?"
Ah, the field trip. Everyone in our department was required to go, but I really wasn't really looking forward to it. What would I do there anyway? We would only be staying in a hotel and secretly party behind the professors while they spend the three days sleeping all the time. It's like a moment of freedom for the caged souls of the students, and a moment of relaxation to the profs. What I'm most afraid of, though, is me sitting around, not able to do anything as girls in bikinis flock around Tao. Just thinking about it makes my heart crawl up my throat.
"Yah, don't tell me you're not coming." Amber's voice broke my thoughts. I made a sorry face, making her grab my shoulders to try to shake me back to reality. I would have laughed at how comical she looked if only this wasn't the topic.
"You have to come! I mean, everyone is going to come because Tao's hot body will be there! God you're so lucky to even be his friend. I'm surprised you haven't even tried to ask him out yet! I see the way you look at him, girl." Amber wiggled her eyebrows at me, in which I just laughed and rolled my eyes.
She doesn't understand how hard it is to be Tao's friend. It's both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I get to spend time with him, but a curse because I've fallen for him.
Just like seeing stars right in front of my eyes; beautiful, shining, and enticing, but I can never touch them. So close, yet so out of my reach.
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