I knock on her door at 7:40, fully clothed no thanks to her.
The door opens immediately.
"You're late." She stated, walking out in a jacket and jeans. Sweet tight jeans.
"Got caught in the middle of a robbery. Took longer than I thought." I lied.
I actually fell asleep and lost track of time. But the lie seemed believable. More believable than anything I'd make up. Thanks Robin.
"Complement her appearance." He said through the earpiece. "But do it without sounding like a dickhead."
"You look nice." I said. "Outfit goes well."
She walks past me. "Relax Wally. This isn't a date."
"Like hell it isn't." I walk with her. "You'll see by the end of the night."
"Oh god, what have you got planned."
"Nothing. Just bowling and food."
"I can't believe you're actually taking her bowling." Robin almost scoffs. I ignore him.
"By the way." I grab her shoulder to stop her walking. "We're going bowling in Metropolis."
"But we're in Gotham." She said, already suspecting whats going to happen.
"That's right, so jump on board and I'll start running."
"Smooth"
Artemis sighs heavily. "Just don't trip over while we're going."
"You insult me." I say, acting hurt.
"Yeah. I do. Now lets go."
I scoop her up. Her hands slide around my neck. And I run. We go for several minutes before finally reaching the famous Metropolis Bowling Alley.
Thats its actual name. The Famous Metropolis Bowling Alley.
But it certainly deserves the name. The place is also a restaurant. And a pretty damn good one, or at least as good as you can get at a bowling alley. There's also tonnes of those other games that spit out those ticket things. So its got anything a person like me could ever need. Entertainment and food.
"Ask her if she's wants some food."
"Have you eaten?" I ask her. She shakes her head. "Are you hungry?"
"Mmmhmm, maybe."
"Great! Cause I'm starving." I take her hand and drag her towards the restaurant.
We line up and look at the menu overhead as we wait.
"You are going to pay for her right?"
"Of course I'm going to pay." I say silently to Rob so Artemis doesn't hear.
"I just had to make sure. It's hard to tell with you."
I turn to Artemis. "Order whatever you like. Cause I know I certainly will."
Artemis scrunches her face a little. "There's barely any healthy options. The salads all look terrible."
"Then eat something unhealthy for once."
"Oh, sorry Mr Metabolism. I'm on a strict diet. I can't eat whatever the hell I want."
"Just get a burger. You won't loose your abs after one burger."
"You said that about the KitKats yet you went off your head at me because I ate one."
"You know precisely why I went off at you." I state, still a little traumatised.
We eventually make it to the front of the line and Artemis sighs. "I'll get a single chicken burger." She tells the server.
"She'll have the Chicken burger meal." I interrupt.
She hits me, hard. "No, I will have the single chicken burger."
Artemis walks to the table with her one burger and a bottle of water. I follow her with my five burgers and two soda's.
"Dude, I've seen you eat. You'll gross her out. So please put some effort into chewing."
I frown at his words. I always chew. Its just so fast that he doesn't see it.
But I follow his advice and eat slower than usual. He is my wingman after all.
"Close your mouth!" He shrieks. "Keep it closed. Christ you're gonna shower her in food."
I roll my eyes but try my best to keep my mouth closed. But its so difficult. How am I meant to fit a burger into my mouth If I have to shut it.
By the time I've finished three of my burgers, Artemis has taken three bites of hers. She places it down on the table with a disgusted look.
"This is so ridiculously greasy." She states, trying to sallow the remainder in her mouth. I watch as a drip of juice slides out of her mouth. It looks delicious.
I find myself staring. She notices and frowns at me.
"What?!" She says aggressively.
"This is when you be a gentlemen and wipe her mouth." Robin instructs.
I grab a serviette. "Please allow me..." I say in my most gentlemanliness voice.
I lean forward and wipe the drip away.
She looks even more disgusted at me now than she was at the burger.
"Why would you even think of using the same serviette that you used!" Robin almost shouted. "Are you actually for real?"
It was all I had with me. They only gave me one serviette, odd considering I ordered five burgers.
Artemis is still looking disgusted. "If you ever do something like that again. I'm going to ram this burger into the place its meant to come out."
"Jesus, didn't know Artemis could be so crude. You really bring out the worst in her."
Eh, she's threatened worse.
"Sorry, I wasn't really thinking."
She shakes her head. "Just finish your burgers so I can kick your ass in bowling.
I smile, "yes ma'am."
I end up finishing within the next minute.
"Alright lets get our bowling shoes." I say, standing up and offering my hand.
She rolls her eyes but grabs my wrist instead.
"Damn, watch it Wally, you might end up being friend-zoned."
Oh christ she better not friend-zone me after all this.
We get sized up for our shoes and head over towards the bowling alley section. We've got two games to go through. She'll want to win them both. I wonder if I should let her? Would she realise I'm holding back?
"Gutters or no gutters?" I ask.
She replies with a massive scoff. "What are we, five?"
"A yes or no would be fine."
"You can set the gutters off for your turn if you'd like. You may need all the help you can get." She smirks.
I frown at her and set the game to maximum gutters. I can't believe I even considered going easy on her. I'm not showing any mercy.
"You're up first Waldo." She states, looking at the over head monitor with our names on it.
I pick up a bowling ball and hold it up in front of her.
"Kiss for luck?" I suggest.
She responds by pushing it back into my chest. I groan. She smiles, satisfied.
Frowning, I turn around and begin my run up. The ball rolls down with speed but ends veering to the left and only hitting one pin.
Artemis laughs. "This may be easier than I thought."
"Hey! I was just getting my bearings. Thats all."
"Sure. I'll believe you if you manage the spare for this one."
I grab another ball and release it. It rolls down, this time hitting five pins on the right. Four pins remained.
"Sit down Kid. Its my turn."
Artemis stood up, took a ball and rolled it down the alley. She got a strike first shot.
Crap, now she isn't gonna stop.
"You're up baywatch." She says mockingly.
This time I'm knocking them all.
I roll the ball...
It hits one pin.
Artemis laughs. On my second go it goes straight into the gutter.
"Dude, you actually suck."
Not helping Robin.
Artemis scores another strike. I sulk at her performance.
"How about instead of sulking you be a tiny bit affectionate and congratulate her. Praise her a little."
Praise? Is that how relationships work?
I look up as Artemis sits down. "Wow, Arty, you keep this up and you'll...you'll end up beating me."
She gives a small smile as she raises an eyebrow. "Uhh, look at the scores Wally. I'm already sweeping you into the trash."
I stand up abruptly. "Not for long." I wink. Her smile widens by the tiniest millimetre.
"Hey, that was almost a successful flirt. Keep it up man."
"Why thank you Wingman." I say quietly.
I grab the ball....
Gutter...
Gutter again.
Artemis is in hysterics. "C'mon Wally. Am I gonna have to get up and teach you how to bowl?"
"Say yes. SAY YES!"
"Yes." I say without actually thinking. *cough* "well it may certainly help me."
Artemis nods. "Anything will probably help you improve."
She stands up and grabs a ball.
"Watch me."
"You know I always am."
She rolls her eyes.
"You had a good streak. Why do you have to ruin it with pervy comments."
"Hey, it was her choice to wear tight jeans around me." I whisper to Rob.
"... You're right. She's into you man. Look, she even has a singlet top under her jacket."
I scoff. "Now who's the perv."
"I'm a detective analyst. There's a difference."
"And that is how you strike." Artemis turns to me, placing a hand on her hip with a grin. Her smile fades when she realises I'm not paying attention. "Wally, Wally!" She clicks in front of my face. I suddenly jump. "You heard none of that didn't you."
"Uhhh,"
She sighs and picks up a ball, placing it in my hands. She then grabs my arm and pulls me towards the alley.
"I guess I'll just have to teach you like a child then."
As I shove my fingers in the ball holes, her hand falls on top of mine. Her other hand goes to my arm. And she begins directing my every movement. My steps. My swing. Even instructs when I should release the ball.
She's so close to me the whole time. Have I ever mentioned how soft her hands are? I would've thought they'd be calloused as hell from drawing that bow. But no, they have a beautiful olive coloured smoothness.
"Holy shit dude. She's actually actually into you..."
Yeah, she is. Her face is so close to mine, mere centimetres. It's like she doesn't realise how close she is but she has to have noticed. The small smirk has not left her lips and every now and then I spot the small glimpses she gives me.
Is she trying to prank me? Cause then this sudden affection towards me would make sense.
As the ball releases from my hand, her fingers close over mine. The ball travels down the alley and knocks all but three.
"Damn." Artemis states. Stepping away from me to grab a ball. "We're going again. We're knocking those things down."
She hands me the ball and again the same thing happens. She directs my every movement. Only this time, I swear she's even closer. Her cheek is right beside my lips.
The ball releases and travels down the alley. I then lean that tiny bit forward and kiss her cheek.
Gutter ball.
She jumps back. "Are you serious Wally." She shakes her head.
I panic and raise my hands in the air innocently. "I'm sorry. I thought you were leading me on."
"Leading you on? For christ sake Wally, always thinking with your pants." She states. "Did you even think about having the decency to ask for a kiss?"
"Ask?" I say, confused as all hell.
Thats when I notice it. The tiniest of smirks at the side of her mouth.
Is-is she messing with me? Is this even Artemis? What the hell is going on?
"Yeah, ask." Her smirk breaks through and becomes a smile.
She's messing with me.
"Artemis, may I please have a kiss." She demonstrates. She then stands there, waiting.
Robin, this is the moment to say your piece.
As if on cue...
"Okay, I've never seen this side of Artemis. Meaning she's giddy for you. Meaning you should kiss her....or run. Your choice."
I'm beginning to question Robin's actual knowledge about girls. But I decide not to run.
"May I kiss you?" I ask.
Artemis shrugs, still smiling. "I suppose."
I pull my arms around her and move my head into hers, she does the same.
When we break off she reaches up to my ear and pulls out my earpiece.
"He has no need for a wingman anymore Robin. Go away." She then throws the piece away and kisses me again.
We didn't end up needing that second game of bowling. It became too boring and kept us from doing what we wanted to do.
And when we ended up getting kicked out for being 'inappropriate' boy I was glad my parents happened to be out of town when we got home.
Boi that heated up quickly.