Me: I need to say some sort of witty comment here but I don't know what to say.
Kelsey: *whispers something*
Me: And why should I say that?
Kelsey: Because you need a witty comment.
Me: I'm at my wits end...
--------
Kelsey: *laughing because of the pun*
Me: Kelsey that was not funny.
Kelsey: You're just jealous that you cannot match my mastery of punniness.
Me: Why would I be jealous? Emily can pun better than you.
Emily: *stroking cat* Purrfect... Let's keep this between you and me...
Kelsey: NO SHE CAN'T.
Me: Yes she can. Let me explain with this conveniently timed flashback.
*conveniently timed flashback*
Emily: I guess I'll KEL-SEE you later.
*conveniently timed flashback ends*
Kelsey: Damn it.
Me: Anyway, let's do our dares! *reads first dare*
Emily: What is it?
Me: *puts on glasses I really should be using every time I look at a screen* NO WAY.
Lily: WHAT WAY?
Me: *pushes face right up against the screen* I REALLY HOPE THIS ISN'T A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION.
Emily and Lily: WHAT IS IT? *run over to the screen* NO WAY.
Me: YAAAAAA.
Shipping Trio: A SHIP IS ABOUT TO RE-BECOME CANON!
RGB: Wat.
Me: KELSEY AND APRIL MUST GO ON A DATE!
Emily and Lily: Could it be... Could it be that we will soon be able to scream 'KAPRIL' again?
Kelsey: Why is everyone making such a big deal out of it? *blushes*
April: Yeah what's the big deal? *also blushing*
Emily: THEY'RE BLUSHING!
Me: *pushes the blushing messes out of the house* GO ON A DATE. *shuts door*
April: We're screwed then.
Kelsey: Should we just go to the park?
April: Yeah.
*they go to the park*
Kelsey: We didn't think this through.
April: Why?
Kelsey: WE FORGOT THE BLANKET AND THE FOOD.
April: Oh. Let's just do our best without them! *runs to the ice cream van* Yeah one vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and a double cone please.
Kelsey: Wow. *pauses and looks around* APRIL. *grabs April's arm and shakes her* APRIL. WE NEED TO GO OVER THERE. *points at the other side of the park*
April: Why? *licks ice cream*
Kelsey: THERE'S LIKE A ZIPLINE IN THE PLAYGROUND OVER THERE. *runs off*
April: *licks ice cream* God Kelsey. *chases after her while not dropping the ice cream* KELSEY DON'T JUST RUN OFF. *catches up*
Kelsey: *on the zipline* WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHHH THIS IS AWESOMEEEEE!
April: *licks ice cream* Kelsey, warn me next time you run off!
Kelsey: OKAY APRILLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *falls off the zipline*
April: *drops ice cream and catches Kelsey (I just realised its winter here but magical gay anime logic applies)*
Kelsey: Oh... Uh, thanks April... *blushes*
April: *blushes*
**at the lair**
Me: I SENSE SEXUAL TENSION.
*later*
Me: EMILY AND KELSEY HAVE TO KISS.
Lily and April: WHAT.
Emily and Kelsey: NO WAY.
Chloe: *impartial*
Emily: But I'm straight?
Kelsey: *coughs* Gay!
Emily: I'm sorry but that word you said does not exist in my vocabulary. Please use it in a context I can understand.
Chloe: Ways you can use this word in context: Kelsey is gay. April is gay. Glitter Force is gay. Gay ships. Emily says she is not gay but really she is gay. Do you understand?
Emily: Everyone but the last one.
Me: Emily, just kiss da gal.
April: WOAH WOAH WOAH WHY ARE YOU SO EAGER?
Me: *looks April dead in the eye* Why are you so possessive? Let your girl kiss Lily's girl or all hell will break loose in the comments.
April: *sighs* She's not my girl... *whispers* Yet...
Me: WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART?
April: I SAID IDIOT.
Me: Oh wow like I'm so offended now I'm going to have to cry in a corner now. EMILY AND KELSEY YOU HAVE TO KISS SOME TIME TODAY PLEASE BECAUSE WE STILL HAVE TWO DARES TO GO.
Kelsey: BUT I ONLY WANT TO - WAIT WHO DARED THIS?
Me: ANONYMOUSITY (YES I BROUGHT IT BACK), REMEMBER, KELSEY? NOW KISS!
Emily: I don't want this...
Kelsey: *whispers* You want Lily. *kisses Emily*
Emily: *blushes*
Me: *fangirling*
April and Lily: *stare at me*
Me: What? If I didn't ship Emilily and Kapril, I'd ship this.
Emily and Kelsey: WHAT.
April and Lily: *grab knives* Say that again.
Me: IF I DIDN'T SHIP EMILILY AND KAPRIL I'D SHIP THIS. GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
Emily, Kelsey, Lily and April: YES WE DO.
Me: *backs off, hands in the air* Okay okay I'm sorry. Not.
Kelsey and Emily: *grab knives* DON'T YOU DARE.
Me: *jumps on top of a table* NEXT DARE. WE'RE ALL GOING TO THE SMILE PRECURE WORLD.
Lily: *throws knife away* OH WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY I'LL GET TO SEE YAYOI AND MIYUKI AGAIN!
Emily: *gets impaled by the knife and throws her knife in the air* What's... Smile... Precure...? *dies*
Lily: EMILYYYYY! NO! I'VE KILLED HER! I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON! *gets impaled by Emily's knife* I'M... COMING... EMILY... *falls to the ground and dies*
Me: Now that's why Emilily is a good ship. *clicks fingers* EMILY, YOU WILL SOON FIND OUT WHAT SMILE PRECURE IS.
Emily: BUT I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS?
Me: *clicks fingers*
*We appear in the Smile Precure world*
Me: So how do we find them?
Lily: Well I have a Lily sense™ and it's telling me that Miyuki is lost in the woods looking for Peter Pan and the others are looking for her.
Me: So?
Lily: I know how to get them here. *takes a deep breath* PETER PAN IS OVER HERE!!!!!!!
Emily: WHERE IS HE?
Lily: He's not really here we're using it as bait for Miyuki.
Miyuki: *very far away* WHERE? MARCO?
Lily: POLO!
Miyuki: MARCO!
Lily: POLO!
Miyuki: *getting closer* MARCO!
Lily: POLO! (just comment something weird here if you're bored because I'm bored typing this)
Miyuki: MARCO!
Lily: POLO!
Miyuki: MARCOOOOOO!
Lily: POLOOOOOO!
Miyuki: *almost there* MARCOOOOOO!
Lily: POLOOOOOO!
Miyuki: MARCOOOOOO!
Lily: POLOOOOOO! YOU'RE GETTING CLOSER! PETER PAN IS GETTING CLOSER!
Miyuki: MARCOOOOOO! REALLY?
Lily: POLOOOOOO! YEAH!
Miyuki: *comes running through the forest* WHERE'S PETER!?
Lily: He's not really here.
Miyuki: Ah boo boo.
Lily: BUT HI MIYUKI.
Miyuki: HI LILY. DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE OTHERS ARE I LOST THEM.
Lily: My Lily sense™ knows where they are. Say no more. *inhales deeply* GUYS THERE'S AN AKANBE ATTACKING MIYUKIIII!
*ten seconds later*
The other 4: *come charging in through the woods*
Nao: WHERE IS IT?
Lily: Yeah there's no Akanbe but on the bright side, you're all back together!
Yayoi: MIYUKIIIIIIII! *runs over and hugs Miyuki*
Lily: YAYOIIIIII! AKANEEEE! REIKAAAAA! NAOOOOOOOO!
Yayoi and Miyuki: ARE THESE THE OTHERS?
Akane and Nao: *cowering away from the GF*
Reika: Oh well, it looks like the natural science of science doesn't apply when magic is involved. *looks at Me weirdly*
Me: Why is everyone looking at me weirdly today? Did everyone know about Lily's Lily sense™ or something?
GF, Miyuki, Yayoi and Reika: *nod*
Akane and Nao: *shake their heads*
Me: *to Akane and Nao* You look like you're too scared to talk to the Glitter Force.
Akane: W-WHO SAYS I'M N-NOT KEEPING NAO COMPANY?
Nao: Aw!
Akane: Or I could just not want to talk to them.
Me: Oh. *is about to walk off but stops* LET'S HAVE A BATTLE.
Emily: OF THE BANDS.
Me: *stares at Emily*
Emily: Have I done something wrong?
Me: WHO'S YOUR FAVOURITE.
Emily: PINKIE.
Me: *le gasp* IT'S NOT SUNSET?
Everyone else: Are they actually talking about MLP?
Emily: I relate to Pinkie on a personal level.
Me: Don't we all. ANYWAY, LET'S HAVE A FIGHT. SMILE PRECURE AGAINST GLITTER FORCE.
Everyone: Why?
Me: Because I want to and I can.
Everyone: *sighs and transforms*
*then they fight and basically this happens*
Happy: FEEL THE POWER OF MY HOLY LIGHT.
Lucky: FEEL THE POWER OF MY HOLY GLITTER LIGHT!
*Happy and Lucky unleash their special move*
Everyone else: *fighting normally*
Happy and Lucky: AAAAAAAEEEEEGHFHFHHAHDNXBDKSOAKANSBXJSKALLAJFJSKSHCBSKAPAJAHAHAGAGAGAGAGAHSIFNCBDKSOZNDNDJSLSJXBCBC! *suddenly their magical sporkle power gets bigger*
Everyone else: *stops fighting and looks*
Happy and Lucky: *the magical sporkle power is too much to control*
Everyone else: LET'S DASH AWAY! GOTTA GO FAST! *sprints away*
*MAGICAL SPORKLE POWER MAGICAL EXPLOSION KABOOM HAPPY AND LUCKY DIE EVERYBODY ELSE LIVES BUT THE MAGICAL SPORKLE POWER HAS MADE IT RAIN GLITTER IN THE SMILE PRECURE WORLD*
Me: *Liza Koshy voice* Oh wow.
Happy and Lucky: X~X *dead*
Me: *clicks fingers*
*everything returns to normal*
Me: NOW UNFORTUNATELY, WE MUST OFF FROM THIS LAND! *jumps in the air and flies* LET'S GO! *clicks fingers*
**at the lair**
Me: FINALLL DARE! *reads it*
Emily: WHAT IS IT WHAT.
Me: Emily has to have four different personalities. One that just likes to kiss Lily, one that's abusive to Lily, one that stalks Lily, and one that's lustful for Lily.
Lily: Oh wow.
Emily: Oh wow - I mean, oh no!
Me: *clicks fingers* And it begins now.
Emily: *kisses Lily's cheek*
Me: For 3 chapters.
Emily: *softly kisses Lily's forehead*
Me: SO CUTE!
Emily: *slaps Lily*
Me: NO. NOOOOO.
Emily: *twists Lily's arm*
Me: OH MY GOD WHAT'S HAPPENING.
Emily: *on her phone* *likes all of the fanart on Lily's secret Instagram account*
Lily: HOW DID SHE FIND THAT?
Emily: *comments Ilysm your drawings are so cute 💖*
Me: Okay then. Let's finish the chapter here and remember to ask or dare the girls!