Jensen Ackles/ Dean Winchester X Reader

First Kill (Dean)

I sat on the ground leaning against one of babies tires my knees pulled up to my chest. I stared out at the field in front of me not really taking anything in not even hearing the brothers calling me, my eyes moved down to my trembling hands that are covered in blood. "I killed her" I mumbled to myself "you had to kill her" Dean said as he and Sam loaded the car "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!! SHE WAS MY LITTLE SISTER AND I KI...killed her" I screamed then went quite. Dean walked over to me "I might not have had to kill my little brother, but I have had to watch him die so many damn times that it really messes with your head" he snapped at me "You really want to think I don't know what you're going through, hell Sammy and I both know that watching someone you love take their last breath and not being able to do a damn thing... it hurts so damn bad you want to die right along with them." He added wiping at his eyes as he remembered what he went through with Sam. I looked down feeling even worse "I'm...I'm sorry Dean" I mumble to him as I looked at my combat boots shuffling my feet as I waited for him to say something. "So don't tell me that I don't understand because I do" he said as he walked back to help Sam. I grabbed my bag and climbed into the back of the car pulling out my phone and headphones listening to 'Welcome to the Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance as I let my eyes close trying to forget that my little sister had been my first kill.