Journey Hayes-
"Wassup Jay?" Dalvin says as he and Cedric walk into class and sit down in their seat. Dalvin thought he was slick by calling me last night and putting Donald on the phone. "Nigga, don't 'wassup' me. You thought you were slick trying to pull that little stunt you pulled last night," I playfully mean mug him and he kisses his teeth. "I don't know what you're talking 'bout. I told you I was stepping up and being a better fri-" I cut him off.
"Nigga, you called me just so De could talk to me. I don't know why he didn't just call," I said, shaking my head while I pulled my books out of my book bag. It didn't make any sense why he'd put Dalvin up to do something when he could've done it himself.
Punk.
"He thought that since he was ignoring you all day then you wouldn't want to talk him," Dalvin says, adjusting the snapback that he had placed on his almond-shaped head. I smacked my lips and rolled my eyes before responding,
"That wouldn't have made a difference anyway since his girl prohibited him from talking to me," I respond and he laughed. "That nigga whipped and he doesn't even know it. She got that nigga wrapped around her finger," He says shaking his head. I couldn't even protest because he was being honest but it wasn't my place to say anything. Donald's gonna do what he wants to do, even though he's been warned and he knows Tiana ain't shit.
But, if he hits that brick wall, who's gonna feel it? Exactly. Dumbo.
Cedric shook his head and chuckled, "No comment. But, Jay, what you got goin' on for Easter?" Cedric asked, tapping his fingers against the back of his chair. "My Dad is supposed to be taking us to some church that our Aunt attends. Y'all niggas had plans for Easter?" I asked, resting my chin on the palm of my hand.
"Well, our parents both have churches so we were going to attend Church, of course. Then afterward, both of our families, along with whoever comes from the church, we're gonna go to the park, that's by the cafe and have a barbeque and there's gonna be an easter egg hunt for the kids and shit," Cedric said and Dalvin nodded.
"Yeah, it's gonna be fun. You should come. You can bring your Dad and don't you have a younger brother?" I nodded. "Yeah, I'll talk to him about it," I said.
After class, the three of us walked the halls, per usual towards my locker. Cedric and Dalvin both told the story of how one of our classmates had offered to have sex with them both. I guess the benefit to having male friends is that they have gossip of their own and they give you the rundown on Male logic.
"...So basically shorty wanted me to wax that a-" I cut Cedric off, instantly.
"Please. Do not proceed with any further details." I put my combination in to my locker and opened it, proceeding to put my books inside and exchanging them for the ones I would need for my Civics and English class. In the midst of me getting my supplies, I heard Donald's deep, nasally voice from behind me as he conversed with the guys.
After making sure I had everything, I closed my locker and turned around to face the three of them. Donald looked at me and his facial expression softened a bit and he looked away. Cedric and Dalvin looked between the both of us, as if they were expecting one of us to say something to each other.
I don't have anything to say, so if they're expecting me to say anything to this punk, they can hold their breaths.
"Wassup Ja-" Donald was quickly cut off when Hakeem approached us. "Wassup, Shorty? You ready to go?" Last night during our previous conversation, Hakeem had agreed to walk me to class whenever we saw each other in the hallway. I smiled to myself, "Hey, Hakeem. And yeah, come on. I'll see you guys during lunch, yeah?" I asked.
"No doubt. See you, Jay," Dalvin and Cedric smirked while Donald stood there dumbfounded with an expression on his face that seemed to have indicated that he was perhaps, irritated?
"Come on," Both Hakeem and I started walking down the hall, towards my civics class. "You look pretty, but you knew that already," He says examining my basic attire, which his a white graphic street-fighter T-shirt, that was tucked into some jeans, accompanied by some adidas superstars.
I lightly chuckled, "Thank you," The both of us continued walking towards my class in a peaceful, comfortable silence that was amongst the both of us, not including the sound of lockers being slammed or the loud conversations coming from our peers.
"Alright, here we are," I say as we stop in front of my class. "Alright. I'll see you during lunch, yeah?" He asked and I shrug. "We'll see," He smiles at me and leans down to kiss my cheek, which causes me to blush instantly.
"Later, shorty." With that, he walked away and I walked into class with a smile on my face.
I sit down in my seat and shortly after, Donald comes in with the same facial expression plastered on his face from before. He glances over at me and the both of us make eye contact for a brief moment and I found myself becoming nervous underneath his gaze.
Those damned eyes..
I peeled my eyes away from his and I diverted my attention elsewhere.
Finally, it was lunch time and I was seated in my regular spot with the gang, with the addition of Tiana, of course, and Hakeem. "So, what's the deal with you two?" Joel asks pointing to both Hakeem and I. "Denise, your man is nosy," I playfully look him up and down.
"So am I. Answer the question," Denise says and I smack my lips. "You're supposed to be on my side, heifer. And to all inquiring minds and nosy ass people at this table, Hakeem and I are just kickin' it," I say and he nods in agreement. "Right," He kisses my cheek which basically just disregarded what I said and what he agreed to.
Making it one big contradiction.
"Just kickin' it, huh?" Cedric asks with a smirk. A smirk I knew all too well... The petty smirk.
"Don't even start, Cedric." He smacks his lips. "I ain't the one you gotta worry about starting," He mumbles and lowkey points over to Donald who clearly looks upset.
But, for what?
Donald DeGrate-
I tapped my fingers against the table and watched out of my peripheral as the two of them shamelessly flirted with one another. I couldn't help but feel jealous.
I thought me liking Jay was innocent because I was attracted to her. But since I got back with Tiana and ruined our friendship, it seems like being away from her and not being able to talk to her made my feelings toward her grow more and more, oddly.
Her being with Hakeem makes me jealous because in a way, I feel like that should be me. Us.
It should be us shamelessly flirting with each other and denying all allegations of us becoming something when the both of us knew what was up. It should be me and her.
Not me and Tiana
And for damn sure, not her and Hornet.
"What's wrong with you?" Tiana asks, resting her hand on mine to stop me from tapping my fingers. "Nothing," I lie, which was no use because I'm quite sure my face was a dead giveaway.
I look up and seen everyone else conversing amongst one another, not paying one bit of attention to me. I didn't mind though. I didn't want to be bothered anyways.
"You wanna get out of here?" I looked over at Tiana and a smirk played on her lips and I knew exactly what she meant.
Shit, why not?
I'd get my rocks off and get Jay off of my mind for the time being. "Come on," I stood up and grabbed her hand. She stood up and followed behind me, out of the cafeteria.
Journey Hayes-
Easter
"Journey, hurry up before you make us late for service! I don't feel like hearing your Aunt's mouth!" Dad yelled from the living room and I huffed, rolling my eyes in the midst of it all.
"Here I come!" I say while applying mascara to my lashes. Once I was satisfied with how they looked, I put on some lipstick and I grabbed my purse before exiting my room. I walked into the living room where Dad and Wesley stood in the living room, dressed in their tuxedos.
"You look gorgeous, sweetheart," My Dad stares at me in awe, examining my outfit. Not in a weird way, but more of an observant way. "Each and everyday you remind me of how much a woman you're becoming and I'm proud," He says and I poke my bottom lip out. "Aww, don't get sappy on me now, old man! I love you too," I kissed his cheek and wipe off red lipstick print I left on his cheek.
"You look nice Wesley," I compliment him and he pops his collar and does a spin. "Get out of here, fool," All of us laugh while we make our way out of the house. I walk over to Dad's car, liking the click-clack sound my heels made each time they came in contact with the cement.
Once the doors were unlocked, we got into the car and Dad wasted no time bringing the car to life and pulling out of the driveway, accelerating towards the direction of the church. "So, What park are your friends and their families hosting a barbecue at?" Dad asked, glancing over at me and over at the road. "The Park by the house," I say and he nods.
Finally, we pulled up to Christ gospel church and the parking lot was full of cars, which meant it'd be a struggle for Dad to find a parking space. Finally, we pulled into a parking space that wasn't too far from the entrance, thankfully.
All three of us got out of the car and I fixed my shirt and my button down shirt before both Wesley and I followed Dad to the entrance. As soon as we walked in, our Aunt stood there, talking to who I'm guessing was the Reverend and his wife.
"Oh! Reverend Don, this is my brother, Maurice and my niece and nephew, Journey and Wesley. You guys, this is Reverend Donald DeGrate and his wife, Mary,"
Donald DeGrate?
No freaking way!
I didn't want to jump to conclusions but it wouldn't take a Rocket Scientist to know that these are both Donald and Dalvin's parents. I mean, I could see the slight resemblance and besides, they've mentioned a countless number of times that their parents did indeed have their own church.
Now, I was anxious. I mean, I had already made plans to attend the barbecue that was being held at the park today but I didn't know that I'd actually be attending service with them and that meant I'd have to be around Donald a lot longer than necessary and more than likely, if my father likes the church, we'd probably be attending weekly.
Jesus, strike me now.
"Hello, nice to meet you all! We hope that you enjoy today's service that should be starting momentarily," Donald, excuse me, Reverend Donald says to us, giving us a warm smile while we shook hands with him and his wife.
"Nice to meet you both as well and Thank you, I'm sure we will," Dad says, returning the smile he had given us. "I'll speak to you both after church. Come on guys before those pews fill up," Aunt Brenda says and she leads us inside. We walked down the aisle until finally, we chose a pew to sit at.
"Don't you think that skirt is a little too form-fitting, my dear? And why don't you button up your shirt? Your chest is exposed. Lord, don't let me get started on all that makeup you have on," Aunt Brenda begins ranting about my attire and I sigh as I begin to grow irritated.
I don't want to have any negative or hateful thoughts while being in the Lord's house, but this lady was making it hard for me. "My clothes are fine, Brenda. And since when was red lipstick and mascara too much makeup?" I ask. I didn't mean for my tone to come off as disrespectful and harsh as it was but this lady pushed me to my limit.
My Dad wasn't even aware of what was going on because he was too busy talking to Wesley about something.
"Journey, you're seventeen. There's no reason why a girl your age should be dressing like this," she says.
"Dressing like what?"
"Like-Like some type of hoochie with no morals, no standards, no guidance. But, there's nobody else to blame for that except for your mother." Before I could say anything, Reverend Don stood at the podium and he began speaking.
I was livid. If I wasn't in church, I would've snatched the dead bird off of her head.
Deeply, I inhale and I tap my foot on the ground and I fold my arms across my chest. It's bad enough my mom isn't in my life and for her to bring it up and throw that in my face really pissed me off and it hurt me.
Family really ain't shit.
"Happy Easter everybody!" Rev. Donald says and an array of 'Happy Easters' came from the congregation. He began speaking and unfortunately, I couldn't focus on what he was saying because I was fuming with anger. The fact that she was in my presence and the more I thought about it pissed me off. My nose burned and a lump formed in my throat and my leg started shaking.
Don't cry, Journey. Hold it together, atleast until after the service.
Once again, I sighed deeply and I blinked away my tears and I distracted myself from my own problems and I began to focus on what Reverend Donald was saying. After preaching to the congregation, they were starting on the hymns. The melodic sound of the piano began to flow through the room and I looked and saw De playing the piano.
His bottom lip was embedded between his teeth as his fingers flew across the keyboard with ease. It had me shook because I knew he could play but since I had never heard him, I didn't know he could actually play this good.
After a few more hymns, Reverend Donald began speaking to the congregation once again. He asked that we bowed our heads and held a moment of silence for those who weren't here with us and that we joined him in prayer.
In his prayer, he thanked God for bringing us all together and he asked that we took a moment of silence to pray for ourselves as well as others and those who weren't here with us today.
Lord, I pray that you take away this anger and these negative thoughts to keep me from snatching this lady's dead animal from on top of her head. I pray that you let the rest of this day be positive and prosperous for us all. In your name, we pray, Amen.
After the service, we followed Aunt Bitch- I mean, Aunt Brenda outside where we met up with Reverend Donald, Mary, as well as De and Dalvin. The adults engaged in a conversation of their own and I began conversing with De and Dalvin. "I didn't know you were coming to our church," Dalvin said as he gave me a quick hug. "I didn't know either! But, y'all did good up there!" I complimented them both and they thanked me. "You look nice," Donald complimented and I thanked him, giving him a small smile.
"I didn't know you knew the DeGrates, Journey," Brenda says and I roll my eyes. "Yeah, They're my friends," Well, at least Dalvin is.
Her presence just irritated the hell out of me and I got angry as I started to think back to what she said earlier. "Now, JJ, what business would you have being friends with only boys?" She says in a joking manner but I know exactly what she's trying to imply.
"The same business you don't have being up in my business, Brenda. I'll see y'all at the park later on, yeah?" I ask the two brothers and they both nod. I could tell they could sense the tension between both Brenda and I and they could tell that I was irritated but I didn't care. I walked away from them and went over to where both Dad and Wesley were. "What's wrong, JJ?" Dad asks and I sigh heavily. "I'll tell you about it in the car," I say.
"You guys will be at the barbeque we're hosting along with the Hailey's at the park, right?" Reverend Donald asked and my father nodded. "Journey actually informed me about it already so we will be there," He says flashing him a smile, which he returned. "Okay, well I'm going to head back inside to handle some last minute things. I'll see you guys in a bit," He says and I give him a smile.
"Brenda, we'll see you later. I'm about to take them home so they can change and go to the park," With that, the three of us go to the car and we all get inside. Once we were all settled, Dad brought the car to life and he began interrogating me. "Okay, so what's the matter? Why do you have an attitude?" He asks.
I sigh heavily, trying to contain myself from cursing and spazzing but I decided against it.
"Your stupid as- behind sister! She had the nerve to complain about my clothes and my makeup! She said I was dressed like a hoochie with no standards, morals, or guidance and she had the nerve! The nerve to bring mom up and she said I had nobody to blame but her! I wanted to snatch her damn wig off of her head but I didn't because we were in church! Then, when I was talking to Donald and Dalvin, she's going to ask me what business I have only being friends with boys! Trying to make it seem as if I'm some sort of hoe!" I vent and he stays silent with an unreadable facial expression on his face.
"Okay, first of all, calm down with all of that cussing and insulting towards my sister because you're not grown, Journey. Secondly, I'm sure she didn't mean any harm by her statements," He says and my eyes damn near bulge out of their sockets. "Are you seri-okay." I fold my arms over my chest and I stare straight ahead out of the window while I bit my tongue to refrain from saying anything.
For the second time today, my nose started to burn and I felt a lump forming in my throat. A tear quickly escaped my eye but I wiped it quickly and remained silent the rest of the way home. When we pulled up in the driveway, I got out of the car and retrieved my key from out of my purse before opening the front door and slamming it shut before going to my room. I slammed my door and locked it before plopping down on my bed and crying into my hands.
I was both hurt and frustrated. Frustrated at both my father and Brenda and also frustrated because he didn't even bother to defend me! Everybody always thinks I'm the one overreacting or tripping when someone says or does some fucked up shit to me and I'm tired of it.
I couldn't win for losing.
I wasn't even in the mood to go to the park, but I had already promised to go and besides, I knew being around my friends would cheer me up for the time being.
I sigh deeply and wipe my eyes, going over to my closet so I could change my clothes. I settled upon a black T-shirt, overall shorts, and a pair of shell toe adidas sneakers. After changing into my casual attire, I wiped the smeared makeup off of my face and glossed my lips before grabbing my purse and exiting my room.
Wesley sat on the couch in different attire as he flipped through channels. He looked up at me and a sympathetic look covered his face. "You alright?" I nodded. "I'm alright. Just frustrated," I plopped down beside him and he looped his arm with mine, lying on my shoulder.
"You'll be alright. Aye, if you want, we can beat her bald-headed ass up together," He says, which causes me to cackle loudly. He really got on my nerves but I wouldn't trade the kid for anything.
I raised him as if he were mine and I loved him too much. "You're a mess. And as much as I would love to, I don't want to deal with your father," I say and he nods in agreement. "Man, I'm red't to go," I laugh at his pronunciation. "You sound like a slave," I say and he chuckles.
After a few moments, Dad walks into the living room with different attire. "Y'all ready?" Wesley responds but instead of me doing so, I just simply stand up and exit the house, walking towards the car.
When we arrive, I see the guys standing over by a wooden table while two men were throwing down on the grills and the ladies were setting the tables and plenty of other people were standing around conversing amongst one another. "Jay, can I hang out with you?" Wesley asks.
Before I could respond, Dad just had to open his pie hole. "Wesley, give your sister her freedom. You stay with me or go play," He says and Wesley smacks his lips. "You can stay with me Wesley," I say while taking off my seatbelt.
"You sure?" Dad asks.
If I wasn't, I wouldn't have told him that he could.
I simply nod before getting out of the car with Wesley. I fix my shorts and the both of us walked over to the table where the two sets of brothers were.
"Hey y'all," I greet them all and I give Cedric and Joel a quick hug. "Wassup Jay?" They all greet me. "Wesley, this is Cedric, Joel, Dalvin, and De. Guys, this is my little brother, Wesley," I Introduce them and he daps hands with the four of them. "Damn, you got some wet ass hands," He says to Donald with his face scrunched up while wiping his hand on his jeans, causing me to laugh.
"Wes, don't start," I warn while sitting down on the bench. "Aye, how old are you, little man?" Cedric asks with amusement laced in his tone. "Nigga, I'm bigger than you. You look like one of those skinny black straws folks use to stir their coffee with," He says and I gasp while Joel, Dalvin, and Donald bust out laughing.
"Wesley, what did I just say?" I say.
"Nah, It's all good, Jay. I'm not worried about this winne the pooh ass little boy,"
"Shut up, black beetle," I face palm myself and they all laugh at his response. "Y'all are giving me a headache. Can y'all be civil for like two minutes? Thank you," I say, sniffling. "I'm going to get something to drink anyways," Cedric says and he flinches at Wesley.
"What was I suppose to do? Jump? I step on roaches like you," He says and I couldn't help but laugh. This boy was something else.
"Wesley! Quit!" I say, calming down. "Man, you wasn't lying when you said dude was funny. What you like to do Wesley?" Dalvin asks.
"Shit, ball and pick up hoes," My mouth literally dropped down to the ground. I popped the back of his head and as a reflex, he rubbed it and scowled at me. "Say something else out of pocket and you're going over there with your father," I warn him one last time before leaning back against the table and crossing my arms.
"Well, I know your sister wouldn't appreciate me encouraging you to pick up hoes but I will challenge you in a game of one-on-one," Dalvin says and Wesley smacks his lips. "You ain't said nothing but a word, Dal-bird." I shake my head. Eventually, the two of them end up leaving and they go over to the basketball courts.
Donald then stands up and Joel looks at him with confusion plastered on his face. "I know your uncoordinated ass ain't about to go play basketball," De smacks his lips. "Shut the hell up! I'll be back," He says before he walks away, leaving both me and Joel alone.
"So, what's up with you and Denise? Y'all make it official, yet?" I ask him and he chuckles. "Nah, not yet, atleast. We both agreed to take things slow but just know that's all me and this is all her," He says and I clap my hands excitedly. "Aww! JoJo! That's so cute!" I coo and he smacked his lips, shaking his head.
His beeper went off in his pocket and he grabbed it, taking a glance at it.
"This is Denise. I'll be back," With that, he walks away from the table, leaving me all alone.
I lean forward and rest my elbow on my knee while resting my chin in the palm of my hand, observing the scenary around me. I looked over and saw Dad conversing with someone and not too far from him, Dalvin and Wesley were both on the basketball court playing up against some other guys, and I had no idea where JoJo disappeared off to.
"Freeze pop?" I look up and see Donald standing next to me with a blue freeze pop in his hand. "Thanks," I grab it from him and he nods, sitting down on the bench, making sure there was some type of distance between us.
I tore the plastic off of my freeze pop before taking a bite out of it. There was an awkward silence between the two of us, but I damn sure wasn't going to say anything to change it. "You alright?" He asks and I look over at him.
"Yeah, why?" I ask. "I don't know, you look like you've been crying or something." He took a bite out of his freeze pop. Since when did he become so observant of me?
"Oh, um.. Yeah, I'm cool. Just frustrated, that's all," I say, taking another bite of my freeze pop, allowing the flavored ice to melt in my mouth. "You wanna talk about it?"
"It's not worth talking about," I say, tucking some loose strands of hair behind my ear. "You shouldn't bottle things up," He says and I glance over at him. "Why do you care anyway? We're not even friends. Besides, wouldn't your girl have a heart attack knowing you were talking to me? I wouldn't want you to get in trouble," I say sarcastically.
"Look, I'm just trying to be nice. All the extra hostility isn't needed," He says, clearly offended and I sigh, feeling bad that I had lowkey went off on him the way I did. He didn't deserve it.. Well, he kind of did but most of it came from me still being flustered.
"You're right. I'm sorry... I'm just frustrated with my Aunt and my Dad. It's not your fault," I bite my bottom lip. "What happened?" He asks and I shake my head, shrugging while taking another bite of my freeze pop, that was slowly turning into slush, due to the humidity and heat.
"My Aunt said some fucked up shit to me and when I tell my Dad about it, instead of defending me, he basically goes on to say I'm overreacting about the situation,"
"Was it what she said earlier?" He asked and I nod. "That and some other shit she said way before that, during the service. I'm just-" I sigh as I grow frustrated all over again and I feel tears welling up in my eyes. Usually, I don't cry in front of people because I was too prideful and I didn't want to seem weak, but I was just so frustrated and for some reason, I felt comfortable enough around Donald to just express my true emotions.
I don't exactly know why....
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to get all emotional," I say, wiping my eyes quickly and I feel his large hand soothingly rub my back. "It's alright," He says and I sniffle. "I'm-I'm just tired of people treating me fucked up and then I get blamed and told I'm tripping for reacting the way I do. Like, I get treated like I don't have feelings or emotions or some shit. I mean, I may not always show it but I do have emotions and I do feel. I don't deserve the shit I get put through," I say, wiping the remainder of my tears.
Now, what I was saying wasn't exactly directed towards him but the shit that went down between us did play a part in the point I was trying to get across.
"I'm sorry." He blurts out and I look over at him. "You don't have to apologize, D-"
"I do because what I did to you was fucked up. I was fucked up cutting you off and ending our friendship the way I did. Honestly, I regret that shit every day. I miss being friends with you and joking around and shit. But, I know it's my fault that all of that ended. I know you probably look at me different for it a-and I'm sorry," He says, sympathetically, looking me in my eyes.
I broke away from his gaze because I was starting to grow nervous.
"Yeah, I'll admit that you did hurt my feelings but I respect the fact that you respected your relationship. Honestly, I miss being friends with you too, but I don't want any more problems with your girlfriend and I don't want to cause any problems between you two," I say and he sighs. "Man, fuck what she has to say. We're friends and that's just the way it is. She's just going to have to deal with it," He shrugs and I laugh at how bold be suddenly became.
"Now, Donald. You know what if Ti-"
"I don't care. Now, can we call it a truce?" He asks, extending his hand. I laugh and shake his hand. "I'm warning you now, Donald. If your girlfriend comes to me with bullshit, I won't hesitate to put her in her place," I say.
"Alright, Alright," He says, releasing our hands.
"Thank you for being my friend, again,"
"You're welcome, sucka," I nudge him playfully and he laughs. "Alright, as your friend, I promise to never let anything or anyone come in between us again and that no matter what problems I have, I will be straightfoward and honest with you about them."
"Alright, I'm holding you to that," I take a bite of my freeze pop and he nods. "Come here," He extends his arms and I laugh, "Man, go on somewhere," I say, half-joking but his arms remained extended. I smack my lips and playfully roll my eyes, pulling him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and he hugged me for a few seconds but it seemed longer than that.
I liked being in his arms. I felt comfortable and safe...It was almost like home. I got the same feelings of security and comfortability I felt when I hugged my father.
And the fact he smelled amazing made it harder to let go.
We pulled away from each other and I mushed his head. "Sucka," He laughed and I did too because his laugh and gorgeous smile was so contagious.
He stared at me and butterflies invaded my stomach as I grew nervous under his glare. "Alright, so let's catch up. I want to know everything," He crosses his legs and folds his hands over his lap, making me laugh. "I'm serious," He says, smiling at me.
This damn boy...
**