~Chapter 36~
Anger, sadness, depression, loneliness – those feelings aren’t even beginning to describe what I really feel. Let’s just say it felt like someone stabbed a knife on my chest and ripped my heart out then tore it to fine pieces. It left me weak and vulnerable inside. This was the emotional pain I was saying. It ruins you greatly, taking away hope and happiness. Put me back in the Underworld, lock me up in the tightest room or even throw me into Tartarus, I don’t care. This pain is the most painful of all, eating me up in the darkness. I’ve experienced the physical pain, now the emotional one is surging through me.
My tears were utterly uncontrollable. They just keep on flowing and flowing as if it was a never ending river without a dam. These were the feelings that make you want to take revenge on the person who caused all of it. But technically, it was my fault. If I hadn’t dodged the knife, it wouldn’t have hit Ash. If only I was the one who was hurt and injured and not him. It was my fault for bringing my friends in this dilemma in the first place. So the only person to blame was me. I feel stupid for it.
Every day, since the incident, I grieved over the whole thing, regretting that single mistake I’ve done. The one who should be in the infirmary right now should be me not him. I felt like I should be punished for this – even my emotional punishment isn’t enough. Zeus told me he’ll fix the whole conflict with the Romans and he didn’t want to start another war again. And he’ll talk to my mother, too and make sure Diana wouldn’t attack me again. I was relieved by this but of course I was still worried about Ash. He stayed in the infirmary of the camp, unconscious for a couple days now.
Gods, I felt so ruined and weak right now. Yeah, that’s the effect of stupidity. You do something utterly idiotic then you’re the one getting affected and also the people around you. And this is one of the times when I drop to my knees, asking the gods up in Olympus why the hell trouble was always following me everywhere and every time. Seriously, I don’t want anyone to die here and it seems like I can’t learn my lesson for making all those mistakes. I was still careless and oblivious.
I sat on the chair beside his bed and caressed his soft cheek. He looked so peaceful and serene when he’s sleeping. Ash was breathing – thank gods – though, Chiron said he’d be out for a few days. Knowing Ash, I know he would fight through this. He’s strong and he won’t let himself die. “Please wake up,” I whispered to him. And that’s when a single teardrop trickled down my cheek.
“I’m sorry, Ash. I’m really sorry I did this to you,” I told him, trying to hold down the tears. I’ve cried a million times already – I don’t want another sob session again.
My hand moved to his and I clutched it, squeezing his fingers. Ah, I’m such a great girlfriend, aren’t I? Note the sarcasm there. I almost let him die…
“I swear, it won’t happen again,” I assured him then kissed his forehead. It was afternoon right now, and the sun was almost setting. I stood up and headed to the dining hall. Most of the time, I was with Ash because I felt like I held the responsibility of protecting him. I trudged out of the room, hoping to grab something to eat. My stomach growled in agreement as my eyes roamed the selection of desserts. I settled for a piece of chocolate cake and Coke then sat on the empty tables. I’ve never felt so lonely in my life. Jed went back to Washington whilst Ami returned home. They promised they’d visit from time to time. Halliope and Gus were helpful enough to drive away my boredom when they talked to me. But the person who I spent more time with was my unconscious boyfriend.
I laid my chin on my palm and wondered how long will Ash be like that. It could be days, weeks, heck even months. Well, he’s not actually in coma – he’s just recovering. For the past days, I half-hoped to speak to Artemis but I know she has some things to do about the previous incident. I just needed her encouragement and care as a mother. I missed that. I needed that.
“Are you okay?” A familiar voice asked me. I lousily looked up to see the oracle sitting in front of me.
“Yeah,” I answered, focusing my gaze back to the sweet cake.
I can hear the hint of annoyance in her voice, “No, you’re not.”
I groaned softly, “Can you please leave me alone?”
“Not until you cheer up.”
I looked at her and narrowed my eyes. I have to admit sometimes this girl could be a little feisty and persistent. I’ve clearly underestimated her before but now I know she’s not like other eight year olds.
“What do you expect me to do?” I questioned. It’s not like there was anything…
“Stop acting so distressed,” she lectured, “Just be happier and hope for the best for him.”
“I’m not as optimistic as the others,” by others, I meant Ami.
“At least try, because the next thing you’ll know, you’d be gaining more weight.” Halliope reached for the plate of half-eaten cake and then munched it on by herself.
“Hey!” I scowled at her. And the evil girl just stuck her tongue at me. I went back to sulking after that.
“Though, I’m serious,” she told me between bites, “Lighten up. I’m sure he’ll wake up soon.”
“It’s harder than you think, Hal. I…well…I…”
“Love him.” She finished for me.
“Yeah, I was kinda planning to tell him after he woke up.”
She seemed uninterested by that topic and that caused me to chuckle, “Hal, someday you’ll surely understand to be a teenager, have naughty hormones and fall in love.”
She crinkled her nose in disgust, “Oh gods, don’t even get to that.”
It’ll be fun to push her buttons. “Soon, you’ll be reaching puberty, kissing guys, breaking hearts – “
“Clarence!” she shot me a deathly glare.
I burst out laughing. Huh, she did help me clear my depression out. Halliope arched an eyebrow, “Are you happy now?”
I gave her a snicker, “Yeah, maybe.”
“At least I cheered you up.” She said, finishing the cake. I was still hungry…
Augustus suddenly came running up to us. He stopped at our table and gasped out, “Ash’s awake!” My eyes widened. He’s awake?! Is he serious?! I glanced at Halliope and she sent me an encouraging look before I sprinted towards the infirmary. It was already dark outside since the sun disappeared into the horizon. I finally reached the infirmary to see Ash awake on his bed.
I rushed over to him, “A-are you okay? Is something hurt?” I don’t want to attack him with hugs and kisses yet.
He ran a hand through his hair, “Uh, yeah. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
He gulped, “Uh, Clarence I think we need to talk.”
Oh, those ‘we need to talk’ don’t usually end greatly. Something is wrong. I can feel it.
Biting my lip, I said, “Okay, go ahead.”
He took a deep breath.
“I’m breaking up with you.”
I knew it. I stared at him in shock, trying to choke something out of my lips. Craaaack…yes, that’s my heart snapping. This was the emotional pain that I couldn’t – ever – handle. It felt like an imaginary knife stabbing through my chest over and over again.
“You can’t be serious.” I managed to say.
“Look, I’m sorry – “
“Why? Why the hell are you doing this? You just woke up and now…” Tears were uncontrollably pouring down from my eyes. Kill me now. This whole punishment has scarred my life. What did I ever do to perish like this? Just because I was the daughter of the goddess who swore to be a maiden forever that I would be tortured? I’ve been tortured sixteen years of my life by a mere mortal, my grandmother was killed, I’ve been attacked my monsters multiple times, I’ve fallen a hundred feet into the Underworld, my friend is dead, I suffered my claustrophobia, my boyfriend was hurt and now…
Heartbreak.
The cruelest thing the universe would shower over you.
“I-I guess I kind of didn’t like you anymore.” Ash confessed.
So that’s it? He didn’t like me anymore? So that’s why he’s going to just throw me away like that? I was crying now. I felt lost. I don’t know what to do.
“Really?” I yelled, “How can you unlike somebody?” Was that even possible? For him to take away his ‘love’ from me?
“I’m sorry…” was all he muttered. I stormed off outside, trying to hold in another sobbed. He just dumped me and broke my heart. Oh, all the things love could do to you.
I angrily and frustratingly made my way to the forest. It always calmed me down and helped me think. I was already crying when I reached my usual spot. The stars and moon were glowing on the sky but they made no difference to my emotions. I was torn up, lost and upset. I weakly collapsed on my knees and cried my eyes out, one tear much more painful than the other. I give up. I give up. I don’t want to suffer physically and emotionally anymore. I want my life to be normal now. Or as normal as a demigod’s life could get.
A hand touched my suddenly touched my shoulder. I grimaced and my fingers clenched on the grass. I don’t want to be with anybody right now. I wanted to be alone and cry a whole river of tear until time heals my heartbreak.
Soon, I was pulled into a warm caring embrace. I didn’t realize how much I longed for this hug. I was still sobbing, but I felt better knowing someone cares for me despite all the trouble I’ve been into.
“Ssh, don’t cry, Clarence,” a hand caressed my back.
“H-have you ever felt l-like this?” I stuttered out.
“Well, honestly, yes.”
“I don’t think I could survive through this, mom.”
Artemis pulled away and gave me an encouraging grin, “You’re going to be fine, Clarence. You need time to recover through it but you can’t live like that forever. Soon, you’ll need to forget and move on. It’s best.”
I thought about this. She was right. Someday, I’ll need to move on but for the meantime, I’ll need to recover. There are greater things – much more – in the future. These dilemmas I’ve been through will help me build a strong wall and be ready for other things. I really needed to learn my lesson, didn’t I?
“Things will get better, Clarence.” Artemis told me.
“Yeah,” I muttered, “Better.”
~ΔΟΛ~ ΔΟΛ~ ΔΟΛ~
THE END
Yeah, really…I’m serious. I know. I know. You hate me. Yes, feel free to use your demigod powers to kill right now. I deserve it. But school is starting and I needed to focus on that so I decided to end it here. Yes, no need to remind me that you hate me.
Okay, after this is a new book called “Hidden Beneath”. I won’t post the description here but I promise it’s good and you should check it out. And after HB, is the spin-off and sequel of Daughter of Light. At the spin off, it will be about…someone (no, not about Jami) and the sequel is going to start what happened to Clarence from this point on.
Next, I wanted to thank you all for the support for DOL. I’m so happy, you guys. I hope it will get more reads just like Ice and Snow. Plus, this book is longer: 36 chapters, 251 pages (in word) and 98,872 words (in word). Thanks guys. :'D
So, yeah, Hidden Beneath is a fanfic too but please give it a chance! You don’t exactly need to read the original series to understand this book. And it’s cliché…Read it please. (Puppy dog face)
Sooo….
R.I.P. Team Clashton. Praised to the readers who thought Ash was suspicious. Why did he break up with Clarence? Well, you’ll know that in the sequel.
Ciao :D
-Vireen, Daughter of Riches
P.S. I so love Just your Average Teenager. But I don't wanna get included there.